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I was at wal-mart doing some shopping when I ran into a guy I knew from high school. After catching up for a bit, he invited me to his house. I said sure, finished up shopping and finished a couple other things, and then went to his house.
At the party, I saw a lot of younger kids from my high school and I hit it off pretty well with them. I reconnected with them and even made a couple new friends.
Then things started to get weird. A group of random people showed up, but they quickly took off after they realized they didn't know anyone at the party. Then they show up... This guy who went to my high school and his friends went to my high school. This guy, he was about 23, no college degree, and still going to high school parties that he didn't get invited to. I didn't have a problem with that, in fact it didn't appear as bad at first. I said hi to them and started talking to them, but I just got the worst set of feelings from talking with him, it was like he promoted the atmosphere of reckless assholeness. I quickly dejected from the conversation, but I noticed that this was the demeanor in which he talked to everyone. I felt kinda of bad for him and what kind of life he must be living.
Things got a little tense when when someone 'took' his seat and he told him to move. The rest of the table had seats available, but this guy was intent on taking his seat back. Not wanting to get into a fight, the other guy got up and moved to another seat, but the rest of us who were all around the table felt really awkward at what just happened. It almost seemed like his personality naturally baited anger out of people, not that he was actually being a dick on purpose. I was at the table, sitting there silently just watching the situation unfold because I had just ninjaed someone else's seat. Instead of causing a scene, he simply took the other seat next to me.
And then, things just got sooooo embarassing for me. So this girl was talking about how the asshole guy choked her from behind...and I was so confused because I thought wtf why would he be choking her? That's not nice! I said commented about it. Then my friends girlfriend said it was when they were fucking, he was fucking her. was that what you wanted to hear?
The blood drains from my face as the information was slowly processed by my brain. All of a sudden, I remember how she was talking about being choked and all of a sudden the context about the choking part changed completely. All I could do was muster a soft "uh.....oh.....um...." completely at a loss for words. It appeared that when she said it to me, I was the only one who heard it otherwise I am sure I would have gotten a lot more flaming for my ignorance for sure. Still I was just in absolute shock that I was so ignorant this single subject and was embarrassed beyond words.
Even though I got completely embarrassed then, I feel a lot better about stepping outside of my comfort zone. I still had a pretty good time and was able to hang out with a bunch of people I normally wouldn't get to see otherwise. And even though things happened that dampened the night for me, they were just small negatives in an otherwise eventful and fun night for me
  
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I'm sorry, how did you go from, "Uh...Oh...Um" to I loved stepping out of my comfort zone  ? I'm fairly confused. I have some weird friends across the country so I'm pretty used to the whole, "Yeah he choked me thing ending with, they were fucking," but I'm kind of confused how the tone of your entire blog gets turned on its head in the last 2 sentences  . Oh also, I've met people like the guy you are describing, I really hate them >.>.
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Honestly, she probably just dropped that in there randomly. Like
"Oh, yeah he choked me a couple nights ago."
"What!?! Why would he choke you?"
"Cause we were fucking."
OP, I would have been confused to all hell too. I had something similar at my last work. I asked a woman I worked with "How's it going?"(keep in mind I'm 19 male, she's 40 something) expecting something like "Good, how are you." Instead I got "Not so good. My boyfriend's still pissed at me because I cheated on him a while ago." "Uh... what?" "Yeah, he has this back problem and the medication lowers his sex drive, so I cheated on him in sexual frustration 4 years ago, he still hasn't forgiven me." I mean, what the hell? I was just asking how her day was going. Completely did not expect that. :/
EDIT: And OP, it's definitely a good thing to step outside of your comfort zone. Eventually your zone will expand so that will be entirely within it.
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On January 07 2013 04:16 docvoc wrote:I'm sorry, how did you go from, "Uh...Oh...Um" to I loved stepping out of my comfort zone ? I'm fairly confused. I have some weird friends across the country so I'm pretty used to the whole, "Yeah he choked me thing ending with, they were fucking," but I'm kind of confused how the tone of your entire blog gets turned on its head in the last 2 sentences . Oh also, I've met people like the guy you are describing, I really hate them >.>.
After the intial embarassing moment, the next day it doesn't really feel that embarassing. And the next time it happens, I won't be completely at a loss for words :D
Also the fact that I was able to put myself out there to get embarassed in the first place is better than me not taking that chance at all and staying home playing sc2 like I usually do
On January 07 2013 04:45 WarSame wrote:
Honestly, she probably just dropped that in there randomly. Like
"Oh, yeah he choked me a couple nights ago."
"What!?! Why would he choke you?"
"Cause we were fucking."
OP, I would have been confused to all hell too. I had something similar at my last work. I asked a woman I worked with "How's it going?"(keep in mind I'm 19 male, she's 40 something) expecting something like "Good, how are you." Instead I got "Not so good. My boyfriend's still pissed at me because I cheated on him a while ago." "Uh... what?" "Yeah, he has this back problem and the medication lowers his sex drive, so I cheated on him in sexual frustration 4 years ago, he still hasn't forgiven me." I mean, what the hell? I was just asking how her day was going. Completely did not expect that. :/
EDIT: And OP, it's definitely a good thing to step outside of your comfort zone. Eventually your zone will expand so that will be entirely within it.
I wasn't that obvious :D there was just a general conversation in the room going on and then she mentions that he was choking her. I guess everyone in the room except me knew what that meant. The person who said that "they were fucking" was my friends girlfriend and she just said it so bluntly to me too, just straight up to the point, no bs. The person who was saying she got choked was a different girl that came to the party.
One of the thing that is definitely outside of my comfort zone that I am shooting for right now is to have conversations about sex to other people. I still get a anxiety shudder through my whole body just thinking about it though so I try not to think about it so I don't overthink about it
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People talk about alot of stupid shit. Should have just gave the girl a weird expression, like "Why are you talking about getting choked while fucking in a room full of people?" Seems like the people you knew from highschool have never grown up. Most of them that stay in their hometown, don't.
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I think your reaction would be the norm tbh. Unless she mentioned the choking part earlier I'd be confused as hell too. I agree w/ tube. Give us some good EDM songs!
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Kind of a "jesus Christ wtf makes you think about your nasty-ass sexlive woman" comments..
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Public banter about sex is stupid, it's almost always an ego trip for everyone involved "I HAVE SEX AND IM COMFORTABLE WITH IT ENOUGH TO TALK ABOUT IT" there's no stepping out of the comfort zone, it's just another crass way for people to hide their social insecurities with mindless extraversion.
If you want to step outside of the comfort zone and really talk about sex then read up and raise issues on responsibility, gender, health, politics, psychology, biology. I guarantee no one would be actually interested in topics that don't revolve around them having sex because the gravity of it scares them.
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EPT
