Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
I was in complete shock.
What was I doing? Was I actually holding Jane’s hand? Had I finally broken through the friendzone?
I remember looking up at the stands and my friend had the biggest smile on my face and gave me the thumbs up (who would have thought you could see that well across an NBA arena?) I looked down at my hand and saw her perfectly manicured nails in between my fingers. I looked over at her and smiled. “So…. This is different”. She smiled back. “I’m glad, different is good”. I remember very little about the rest of the game. I just sat in wonder that I was holding Jane’s hand and made small talk with her and her friends. I remember when I looked over, her friends said something along the lines of “finally!” Now… holding hands doesn’t seem like it should be a big deal. However in my world, this meant more than a first kiss, more than making out, more than dates, it was finally happening.
I remember driving home with Jane that night nervous as I’ll get out because I had kissed Jessica, but that was more spite kissing than anything. We get to my house and instead of awkward Jacobine, I lean over to her and land one right on her lips. It lasted for what seemed forever. We sat and kissed for what seemed to be forever.
I walked into my house triumphant. I remember not caring that I was an hour late home. I walked into my house with arms over my head and started dancing. My mom came up to yell at me, looked at my face, and said “so… are you dating Jane?”
I hadn’t even thought about this. I guess I wasn’t officially with Jane. How the fuck did I not consider this… I was going to get screwed over. I knew Jane. She played guys all the time. FUCK.
Somehow, someway, I got lucky. I called her up the next day and went and hung out with her. I had the dreaded DTR talk just to make sure that we were actually a thing before some other punk ass could move in on Jane.
We dated for months. They were some of the best months of my life up to that point in my life. I have so many great experiences from our times together. From the time that we danced in the rain, to the crazy parties, to the nights spent alone, cuddled on her couch, watching some stupid movie. I regret that I couldn’t have had more of these nights with this amazing chick.
Almost nine months later, I ended my relationship with Jane. I had some great opportunities to study abroad, which turned into a job opportunity for several months. I tried to stay in touch with Jane for a while, but realized it was better to remember the times we had together, rather than clinging to the hope that I could get back with her at the end of my job. While I was gone, she reconnected with an ex of hers and eventually married the guy while I was gone. I remember opening the wedding invitation and was completely crushed. I was lucky that I had some bros to take me out, get me drunk, and get me laid (at least I woke up the next morning with a chick in my bed… BAD IDEA GUYS).
Looking back, my only regret with Jane is that I didn’t have the confidence in myself to make a move earlier. Jane told me she had liked me for a long time, but never wanted to be the one to make the first move so she just kind of went from guy to guy. My only advice to the guys from TL is to be ballers. I think most of us are too damn smart for our own good and overanalyze shit too much. I learned this later from my current wife to just be who I was, be confident, and make a move. It won’t always work out, but when it does, it’s worth it. Don’t be like me who is an old man regretting not being the guy that I should have been. I’m very content now, but I could have saved myself a lot of frustrating nights by just making the move and being confident.
I hope you’ve enjoyed reading it, I’m sorry there’s no magical ending.