EPTPart 2
Part 3:
Anyway, shortly after reasserting some marginal part of power in my relationship with Jane, I found myself graduating from High School and moving into college. My university was in the same city as I grew up, so I just lived with my parents and biked to school. I actually started two weeks after I graduated. I spent my first few weeks of summer trying my very best not to think about Jane, but every time I rode my bike back from school, my route took me by her house.
Of course, I ran into Jane riding home and stopped and chatted with her for a while. She was going to Europe for a few weeks while I was in school, but really wanted to do something with me before she left. I told her I would call, and then proceeded to spend the weekend climbing and refusing to call Jane, mostly because my buddies made me go so a movie with them and anytime I was thinking about getting up and calling Jane I got gang tackled.
The next few weeks passed, I was finally not thinking about Jane (I took a different way home, even though it was like an extra mile out of the way, totally worth it.) I was doing well with my studies, had everything figured out, and then I get a call from Jane. Remember, at this point I didn’t have a cell phone (only the rich kids had them) and my parents didn’t have caller ID, so I couldn’t dodge Jane’s calls. Being the weak moron I was, I told her that sure I could come see Spiderman 2 with her and a couple of friends. We get to the movie with Jane, her best friend and her best friend’s new boyfriend (Tyler and Trisha), and me. I was thinking this was going to be platonic, but all our other friends conveniently didn’t show up. Definitely not cool, especially because I was finally getting over Jane and was perfectly content to just hang out with a bunch of friends and have her on the sideline for once. So, of course we get into the theater and Jane tells me that we were going to sit away from Tyler and Trisha to give them some space. The rest of the movie, I started thinking about how good she smelled, how cute she was, wait did she just brush my hand? Is that her hand on her leg? What does that MEAN?!! (Note, it means to grab her hand, girls don’t put their hands on their legs closest to you unless they want to hold hands). Needless to say, I could barely remember anything about what was arguably the best movie of the series, and could only think about her.
What’s even worse, on the way home Jane dropped Tyler and Trisha off and she and I spent 10 minutes. So, What do I do, I decide that YES I really like Jane again. We spend a little bit chatting in the car, and we’re flirting like crazy. Then I look at the goddamn clock. It’s 12:00 and if I’m not in the house in under 5 seconds my parents are going to kill me. I bounce as fast as possible, but not before agreeing to go to a party with her the next night. One of our good friends was leaving to go to college in Hawaii and she wanted me to come along. I walked into my house, my parents look at me “wow that was close. You know if you were hanging out with Jane, we wouldn’t have minded if you’d just stayed out a little longer. We saw her car out there” FML. Why the hell do my parents decide to be nice for once. BUT, I bounce on this opportunity and ask them if I can stay out extra late the next night and I explain everything. They give the green light and I’m off to the races.
The next night comes along, I get picked up by Jane and Trisha and some other girls and we go to this party. It was a pretty fun party, but I decide that I had to get away from Jane for a while. She had been trying to cajole me into taking a class with her in the fall and I didn’t want someone to bring up my school and remind her to pester me about it again. The party is going great, and then I look over at Jane flirting it up with this other guy. She caught my eye and smiled at me. The realization hit me like a rock. That little bitch was flirting with the other guy to make me jealous. WHAT THE FUCK? WHO DOES SHIT LIKE THAT? Even with this realization dawning on me, I couldn’t help it! I wanted to go punch the lights out of the other guy (it didn’t help that he was a completely arrogant pretty boy who always was trying to hit on Jane, bastard). So, being the classy little smart ass I am, I walk over to a chick that I know Jane hates and start flirting with her. Show you, you stupid little bitch. This girl was actually a knockout. We’ll call her Sarah. Sarah and Jane were friends back in the day, but then Sarah got huge boobs and it pissed Jane off and so they were no longer friends. I was decent friends with Sarah, but this was my chance to fight off the jealousy bug. So Sarah and I are actually starting to really flirt like crazy, but the party is starting to break off and Sarah just lives next door. We go our separate ways.
In the car, Jane and I are alone once again in front of my house. Jane asks me how I liked the party and blah blah blah. Then she asks a fateful question “so, what did you and Sarah talk about?” Oh nothing much, etc etc etc. Jane and I then get into this crazy discussion about things way too serious. We’d been sitting in the car for almost two hours when she looks at me and tells me that she had asked dickface bastard who he had kissed. She tried to get it out of him, but he wouldn’t tell her. Then Jane offered to kiss him if he would tell her everyone that he had kissed. For some reason he didn’t take the bait?? So, she looks over at me, and asks “what would you have done in that situation?” I tell her that I doubt I would tell Jane (mostly because she was the worst gossip ever), but that I hadn’t really kissed any girls so it wouldn’t really matter. She leaned in really close “so even if I was this close to you, and made the same offer, you wouldn’t kiss me? I looked down at her. She had this look on her face that told me that now was my chance. I was paralyzed. She smiled at me and leaned even closer. I was going to go for it. And then, I gave her a hug!? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU 18 YEAR OLD JACOBINE! WHAT THE FUCK.
I am not lying. I literally gave this girl a hug. I quickly finished the car, made some ultra awkward stutters, made my excuses, and went inside. Why was I this terrible? I could have this chick. She had offered herself on a platter to me, and I didn’t do anything.
Next Up: College- Fall Semester
Will Sarah make a reappearance in college? Will Jacobine ever get action? TUNE IN NEXT TIME!
Edit: Fixed all the J names for clarity
