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Active: 17035 users

[girl blog] dinner

Blogs > iheartEDM
Post a Reply
ihOpe
Profile Blog Joined December 2012
192 Posts
December 31 2012 01:56 GMT
#1
Having a one on one dinner with someone of the opposite sex is something Ive always thought about, but never did. Why? Because I was too scared to put myself out there, in lieu of rejection.

Whats the worst that can happen? She says no? That's not scary! It's beyond scary for me. I got super anxious and all sorts of reasons came up that tried to stop me. Constant validations that I was so good for her that I could do better than her, what if things were akward and our friendship would be ruined?

Silly irrational fears that were trivial matters to someone other than me, I was haunted by these fears. They creep up on you and then start to take over your mind with negative, dreadful thoughts. Almost always my outbursts out of this dreadful place would end with me returning back, making excuses to not take decicive actions. Why should I damage my already incredibly damaged ego? I would sulk back behind these curtains of lonliness and rationalize that I could just wait to confront these soulless demons inside me.

I texted her, said lets go out somewhere to eat, and that I would pick her up tomorrow around 6. I waited several minutes before she responded back. Although she responded in a relatively short time, pulling the covers over my head and closing my eyes was all I could do without bursting from anxiety and those seconds dragged on, each a lifetime of agony.

After seeing her reply back, I was at a loss of what to text. I went back into my bed and closed my eyes to try to relieve myself of my nervousness. A lot of shit came up in my head, my dark passenger wasnt going to give this one up easily. Immediately I think if I should even text her back. What if she doesnt text me back, maybe I will play hard to get and not respond for a couple hours (and then eventually not at all). This was silly. I wanted to skip the games and come straight out with what I wanted. The worst that could happen would be rejection or her ignoring my text and me cringing in suspense for the next couple days wondering if or when she would text me back. I reassured myself everything would be fine, but the kind of reassurance I recieved was hollow and felt fake.

After about half an hour of this drill and her agreeing to everything, I was ecstatic on my success! I had finally overcome what I conceived as the hard part. It was easy sailing from here.

Wrong.

The day of our dinner date, I woke up with about 5 hours to spare. I couldnt do anything. The only thing that occupied my mind was our dinner. I couldnt shake the thought out of my head. Finally I decided to close my eyes and just sleep. The comfort of my own bed was barely enough to give me relief and some temporary peace, but doing anything else was out of the option, I didnt posess the willpower dor anything else.

I finaly texted her again saying I was on my way. Although we already agreed on it the day before, I was still scared that she would flake or that something would go wrong. I didnt leave the house until she replied back because I didnt want to drive to her house in the snow and then get a text calling it off and have to drive back, shameful and alone and defeated with no hope left in the world.

After all of this, I was finally rewarded with some happiness restablished back in my mood. The car ride wasnt awkward, the dinnet was great, and even though she offered to pay her half, I told her I got it this time and next time she would pay for both of us.

I dropped her back at her house and she gave me a hug good bye. I had survived. In fact, contrary to all of my self doubts, I felt happy and proud of myself. I stuck it through, and things turned out better on the other side. I didnt have sex or share a romantic kiss, but I pushed outside my comfort zone and was able to get past my insurmountable level of insecurities.

Thx for reading, TL;DR version - dont bother reading it if you want a tldr lol



***
terran hots stream ---> http://www.teamliquid.net/video/streams/iheartEDM
Inzek
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
Chile802 Posts
December 31 2012 02:09 GMT
#2
nice, gg wp.
i'll try to follow yours steps soon :S
Stork FAN!!!
Aerisky
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States12129 Posts
December 31 2012 02:36 GMT
#3
Good job! Though....you sleep a lot, haha.

Nice to see you had fun after going for it, though
Jim while Johnny had had had had had had had; had had had had the better effect on the teacher.
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
December 31 2012 02:36 GMT
#4
Very nice, now quit the nerves and enjoy yourself LOL.
User was warned for too many mimes.
Battleaxe
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States843 Posts
December 31 2012 03:32 GMT
#5
Good first step, keep it up, and here's to continued success. The real test will be the first one that says no, but you've already got the comfort of knowing someone said yes at one point, so maybe you'll be able to conquer the rejection easier.

Or maybe you'll marry this girl and never have to worry about her saying no again...except for when you pop the question...

...

...

or try to put it in her butt.
Without a community, we're all just a bunch of geeks.
Frits
Profile Joined March 2003
11782 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-12-31 03:57:32
December 31 2012 03:57 GMT
#6
Congrats on your.... hug? I guess it's a good first step after the extreme anxiety you experienced. You should definitely try to kiss her the next date though, rejection is a lot better than the friendzone.

Also don't say shit like 'your dark passenger', who the hell are you, Dexter? Girls usually don't go for the serial killer type.
shizaep
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Canada2920 Posts
December 31 2012 05:11 GMT
#7
Glad shit worked out for you but it's prolly not a good idea to ask girls out over a text. Just find her (I assume you see each other sometimes at least) and ask her out. Worst case, do it over a phone call. It's just better that way - more intimate + lesser chance of rejection.
You mean I just write stuff here and other people can see it?
jrkirby
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States1510 Posts
December 31 2012 05:21 GMT
#8
Sound just like me earlier this year (read my girl blog if you want more details).
RiceAgainst
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
United States1849 Posts
December 31 2012 05:27 GMT
#9
A step forward is a step forward. Good job.
ihOpe
Profile Blog Joined December 2012
192 Posts
December 31 2012 05:42 GMT
#10
Thanks for all of your support!

Also haha I was making a direct reference to dexter, kind of my dry humor at play there
terran hots stream ---> http://www.teamliquid.net/video/streams/iheartEDM
Ikidomari
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
Australia485 Posts
December 31 2012 08:08 GMT
#11
It's always best to ask the girl out.
[image loading]
Just break the rules, and you see the truth.
Arcanefrost
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Belgium1257 Posts
December 31 2012 10:48 GMT
#12
"Your dark passenger", dude you're going on a date, not wrapping people in plastic, murdering them and dumping them in the ocean :p

I get where you're coming from though, I still feel pretty nervous when sending the text but it gets better. Just keep doing what you're doing, and being bolder one step at a time. But tbh hug after first date is a mistake, always kiss, even if she isn't ready for it and pulls away it's still better because it shows you're a confident guy who goes directly after what he wants instead of sneaking around.
Valor is a poor substitute for numbers.
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