Dear Lisa (I assume this is not your real name so I won't bother changing it for you),
We met on the Thanksgiving redeye heading back into Chicago. I sat in 24D, you sat in 24F. It was an Airbus 320, which means we were near the end of the plane, and I had the aisle seat--you, the window.
The really buff dude in 24C broke off the overhead bin latch above me while putting in his luggage, and it fell directly on my head. You asked if I was alright, and that broke the ice. So while we were idling on the tarmac, waiting for some ground crew guy to come in and duct tape the overhead bin shut, I learned about you, and you learned about me.
You said your name was Lisa. You were probably lying, unless you're completely retarded and/or don't have a facebook account. I don't remember very many other facts about you--just a typical Midwestern undergrad, well on her way to becoming one of those North Shore trixies that comprise Groupon's core customer segment.
You had a killer body, I'll give you that much. Long, straight, bronzed hair; hazel eyes; a slight tan from hiking with your extended family over Thanksgiving. You were probably five eight and about 120 pounds, and you were wearing tights and a miniskirt that showed off the best legs I have ever had the pleasure of sitting two feet away from.
Oh, and the seat in between us, 24E, was empty.
I had work the next morning, so I went to sleep. Somewhere over Arizona you nudged me and asked if you could stretch out on 24E. I said sure. You lifted the armrests and laid down, then I went back to sleep. When I woke up somewhere over Nebraska, I felt a weight pressing into my lap, which I quickly realized was your head. You smelled like one of my exes; a mix of Chanel No. 5 and woman.
I had to get up to use the bathroom, so I ever so gently leaned down and whispered in your ear. You jerked your head into my face and gave me a nosebleed. Then you began stammering out an apology in that cute trixie voice of yours, while trying wipe my nose down with a Kleenex you magically found in your purse. When you were done, you moved to the middle seat, sat next to me, and we spent the rest of the flight watching Glee on your iPad.
The guy in 24C was looking at us as we disembarked, probably wondering how a complete geek like me gets this to happen to him.
To be honest, I didn't know until this morning, when I got a call from the American Express fraud division, asking me to confirm a 1500$ perfume purchase from some Michigan Avenue boutique.
You see, Lisa, when you went through my wallet somewhere over the snowy peaks of Colorado, you took the one credit card that I only got for the massive frequent flyer miles bonus. Being a cheap Asian, I never bought anything with that card, and was planning on cancelling it in another month to get the miles and pay as little membership fees as possible.
I want to thank you since you got AMEX to give me the miles and waive the cancellation fee.
And you're still a leggy brunette.
So how's this for a deal--you meet me again sometime, say at the hair salon that you bought a perm from using my card, I'll pay for dinner with the money I saved from AMEX, and then we head back to your place--not mine, since I have minor trust issues with you and my stuff--and we finish watching the third season of Glee?
Is this true? I'm having trouble imagining how she actually got to your wallet (even if you were asleep) without you knowing it unless you are a very heavy sleeper or keep your wallet in a weird spot...
On November 28 2012 00:49 Shady Sands wrote: You said your name was Lisa. You were probably lying, unless you're completely retarded and/or don't have a facebook account.
Haha at this part I was thinking, "wow who talks to a girl he's into like that"
While I must admit, I am normally not a fan of your blog, I am bored at work today. This was pretty funny, a bit saucy, and pretty pleasing. Take my 5 stars and deal with it while I go back to not so secretly hating (out of envy, ofc) you.
cool story, although kinda disheartening that the cute girl only saw a victim in the nice little nerd. kinda makes one wonder which percentage of all women is of "that kind".
On November 28 2012 02:07 HardlyNever wrote: Is this true? I'm having trouble imagining how she actually got to your wallet (even if you were asleep) without you knowing it unless you are a very heavy sleeper or keep your wallet in a weird spot...
Either way, good read.
He probably keeps his wallet in his pants pocket. She probably caused most of the blood on that part of his leg to move to a nearby spot.
The guy who was in 24C is her husband or friend. It's all part of their plan. Notice that he dropped the latch on your head, then conversation sparked with her after that? Then he was looking at you guys after and she had stolen your credit card?
I honestly think this was an elaborate plan to get your AMEX, and the dude was there to make you feel like you were on top of the world. That's the perfect time to steal from someone. That comes from lots of experience.
Loved the story though, haha. I always wondered how easy it would be to pull something like that off.
If you keep your card in your wallet amd your wallet in your pants, how did she get the card without your knowledge? You know the airline would gladly turn over her name to law enforcement if you filed a police report, right?
On November 28 2012 04:39 hoby2000 wrote: The guy who was in 24C is her husband or friend. It's all part of their plan. Notice that he dropped the latch on your head, then conversation sparked with her after that? Then he was looking at you guys after and she had stolen your credit card?
On November 28 2012 04:39 hoby2000 wrote: The guy who was in 24C is her husband or friend. It's all part of their plan. Notice that he dropped the latch on your head, then conversation sparked with her after that? Then he was looking at you guys after and she had stolen your credit card?
Is there any explanation available for the crap this guy writes on here every other day? I feel like there's some inside joke that I'm missing out on. Did he preface something once with what his intention is?
On November 28 2012 08:08 Beorning wrote: Is there any explanation available for the crap this guy writes on here every other day? I feel like there's some inside joke that I'm missing out on. Did he preface something once with what his intention is?
So, you didn't read this blog then?
Also awesome blog. 5/5 did not expect that ending.
If you wanted to you could figure out who she is. Just get the police to investigate (its not an insignificant crime), they can ask the airline and pull the name of the person sitting in that seat. And then you don't press charges in return for pressing your manhood in her.
On November 28 2012 03:37 kafkaesque wrote: So you got hit in the head by a heavy object, got then hit in the face so hard that nose bled and then robbed?
Seems like a really good flight experience and a definite 5/5 for good writing.
How did she get the secret code / PIN of your credit card?
Credit cards usually do not require inputting a code when purchasing from a merchant - just swipe and sign. What we call "credit cards" in Europe are actually most of the time just debit cards.
This was actually really enjoyable to read. I can't say the same about most of the blogs that come out here, but this one had me from beginning to end.
EPT
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/LyXGp.gif)
