I don't see a point anymore - Page 2

Your hole is a prison cell. A prison cell with an unlocked door. But you've spent so much time there, and the world outside looks so full of things you don't know how to handle, that you just stay in. And you feel miserable. What's surprising about that? A prison cell is a miserable place to live in. You can lie to yourself for some periods of time by setting up a computer in your cell and playing CS 24/7 and telling yourself "oh this isn't a prison cell alright it's a pretty nice place and I'm happy to be there". But reality always ends up setting back in, and after the glow of the screen fades out, you look around yourself and realize you're still in the same shitty prison cell you've always been in all along.

What advice can I give you now? None specific. I can tell you that you're not the first person to be in such a prison cell. And I can tell you that many have broken free. How that happens, I believe, is different for each one of us. But it often hinges on the outside world, on the world we glimpse at through steel bars. This outside world is what can lure us out, sometimes forcefully, and make us suddenly realize one day: I'm happier here. I don't want to go back.

Student life is a world that could never have done that for me. During all these years I never came close of leaving my cell. I even pretty much gave up on leaving it one day. But I kept living and going on anyway. After some years I eventually finished my studies and got my first job. Instead of solving rote problems with predictable patterns at school, I now had to solve practical issues, with the method completely left up to me. The outside world started to look a bit brighter. And then this same job started sending me to missions to the countryside of China. The outside world was now something I had never seen before and I was drawn to it. Being white and a tall nerd, in the countryside I was a rarity. Heads were turning and kids were staring wherever I went, and that stroked my ego. People were engaging conversation with me, and as opposed to talking with other French people at home, we were all way too busy working through language issues and bartering about our respective countries for it to ever become awkward. The fact that I needed all of that is pathetic of course. But big things have small beginnings, and that was my beginning. I haven't been back in my cell since.

So my advice would be to just hang on. The outside world around you right now obviously fails to draw you out of your cell. So the best you could do would be to proactively change this outside world. You can do that by opting for crazy and unsafe choices whenever you can, such as getting a very challenging job or going to some wild country for a year for studies or internship or even some humanitarian work. Anything goes, really. But I wouldn't be surprised if you kept doing nothing. You feel safe in your current environment and might be too scared to risk anything to upset it. That's fine. Life won't always play by your rules. Life has a nasty tendency of putting people into all kinds of unforeseen situations and it will happen to you too. So just hang on, try to upset your life if you have the balls for it, and one day you'll break free. I'm confident you will. Good luck anyway.

Edit: You should also try the more practical ideas that other people have shared in this thread (such as living a healthier life to begin with) as they can only have positive results. But even if they don't then just hang on.