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How do obese people wipe. - Page 5

Blogs > Mr.Bimbles
Post a Reply
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Djzapz
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada10681 Posts
August 24 2012 03:30 GMT
#81
On August 23 2012 10:03 Game wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 23 2012 00:14 Djzapz wrote:
On August 21 2012 11:44 Game wrote:
I'm 6'7 350, which is obese despite having shoulders twice as broad as my torso, and I wipe just fine. Having played sports with at least 100 obese people, I can also say none of them have ever had a problem wiping. My mother is morbidly obese and wipes like a normal person as well.

I'm assuming you mean males, because it's not socially acceptable for them to sit down and wipe. However, I must say, those little Mexican sized toilet stalls can be a difficulty. You know the ones I'm talking about, where the toilet seat is actually only like 20 inches off the ground, and the walls are compact so you feel half like a sardine in a can of sardines, and half like clothing when you try to compact a box to ship it for less money.

Are Icelandic people some morph of the human race where their arms aren't long enough (ironically, like a Mexican) to function like a normal human being? I've seen people like that and often wondered myself, but in my experience with formidably obese American football linemen and a few outside of sports, absolutely no problems.

I know that's an early post in this thread but I'm surprised that you have in depth knowledge of the wiping methods of 100 obese people and your mother.

I call BS.

Granted hockey locker rooms aren't as flamboyant and you're Canadian, I'd guess you haven't played sports for the majority of your life and thus don't truly understand the dynamic social aspect of them.

I don't recall people dropping shits and wiping publicly in lockers, I'll admit.
"My incompetence with power tools had been increasing exponentially over the course of 20 years spent inhaling experimental oven cleaners"
iokke
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States1179 Posts
August 28 2012 20:14 GMT
#82
I think this thread may have had a life long impact on me, go figure.
Time to youtube "the best way to wipe".. ew
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down. rerereredit.. I never get it right the 1st time
EffervescentAureola
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States410 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-08-28 20:59:18
August 28 2012 20:58 GMT
#83
I never sit when I'm doing my business. I pee standing up and I go #2 by leaning over the toilet with my butt a few inches above the toilet seat. I never feel like sitting because I have to push my junk around under the toilet seat and it can be quite uncomfortable (not to mention it's difficult for me to have urinary or bowel movements in a sitting position). Standing up or squatting is the way to go, because it's less messy and saves time. In addition, it works out my thigh and calf muscles.
singlepost
Profile Joined July 2013
United States1 Post
July 27 2013 05:36 GMT
#84
I will leave this knowledge here in that someone may find this thread and eventually use it if they need it. Maybe even the OP will find it and put it in his post.

I am severly overweight, about 380lbs right now, and I have devised my own system out of necessity, because hygiene is paramount. While my system requires only 2 things, it is only partially portable and is best served if you "go" only at home.
First, I installed a 7 setting hand shower attachment to my regular shower. (requires nothing more than a T valve and some pipe thread tape)

Perform the following while standing up, but squatting in the shower. Reach around your back from the outside (not between your legs under) and BE SURE YOU HAVE A GOOD SHOWER MAT or you will fall over.

Use the single center jet to wash away any remaining residue.
Then semi wrap a thick wet washcloth corner to corner across the shaft of a Craftsman 4 x 8 Phillips screwdriver.
Use this to scrub away any remainign debris. Use a small amount of mild soap or bodywash.
Change the showerhead to the outerring only, still having pressure. Rinse area completely.
Important: Post cleaning, you must dry properly or you will still eventually smell.
You can either dry with a thin clean dry wash cloth, or a full size sheet papertowel, again wrapped around the screwdriver metal shaft.

Place some menthol cooling body powder in your underwear to stay dry and sweat free.


If you must travel, you can use only the screwdriver method, although it takes a few more attempts to become completely clean.

also traveling with a crewdriver looks far less incriminating, than one of the bottom buddy things which looks like you stole it from the space shuttle.
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3291 Posts
July 27 2013 06:05 GMT
#85
On July 27 2013 14:36 singlepost wrote:
I will leave this knowledge here in that someone may find this thread and eventually use it if they need it. Maybe even the OP will find it and put it in his post.

I am severly overweight, about 380lbs right now, and I have devised my own system out of necessity, because hygiene is paramount. While my system requires only 2 things, it is only partially portable and is best served if you "go" only at home.
First, I installed a 7 setting hand shower attachment to my regular shower. (requires nothing more than a T valve and some pipe thread tape)

Perform the following while standing up, but squatting in the shower. Reach around your back from the outside (not between your legs under) and BE SURE YOU HAVE A GOOD SHOWER MAT or you will fall over.

Use the single center jet to wash away any remaining residue.
Then semi wrap a thick wet washcloth corner to corner across the shaft of a Craftsman 4 x 8 Phillips screwdriver.
Use this to scrub away any remainign debris. Use a small amount of mild soap or bodywash.
Change the showerhead to the outerring only, still having pressure. Rinse area completely.
Important: Post cleaning, you must dry properly or you will still eventually smell.
You can either dry with a thin clean dry wash cloth, or a full size sheet papertowel, again wrapped around the screwdriver metal shaft.

Place some menthol cooling body powder in your underwear to stay dry and sweat free.


If you must travel, you can use only the screwdriver method, although it takes a few more attempts to become completely clean.

also traveling with a crewdriver looks far less incriminating, than one of the bottom buddy things which looks like you stole it from the space shuttle.


That made me throw up a little bit. I wonder what you searched to get to this thread on a gaming website...
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
Mothra
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States1448 Posts
July 27 2013 09:16 GMT
#86
On July 27 2013 15:05 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 27 2013 14:36 singlepost wrote:
I will leave this knowledge here in that someone may find this thread and eventually use it if they need it. Maybe even the OP will find it and put it in his post.

I am severly overweight, about 380lbs right now, and I have devised my own system out of necessity, because hygiene is paramount. While my system requires only 2 things, it is only partially portable and is best served if you "go" only at home.
First, I installed a 7 setting hand shower attachment to my regular shower. (requires nothing more than a T valve and some pipe thread tape)

Perform the following while standing up, but squatting in the shower. Reach around your back from the outside (not between your legs under) and BE SURE YOU HAVE A GOOD SHOWER MAT or you will fall over.

Use the single center jet to wash away any remaining residue.
Then semi wrap a thick wet washcloth corner to corner across the shaft of a Craftsman 4 x 8 Phillips screwdriver.
Use this to scrub away any remainign debris. Use a small amount of mild soap or bodywash.
Change the showerhead to the outerring only, still having pressure. Rinse area completely.
Important: Post cleaning, you must dry properly or you will still eventually smell.
You can either dry with a thin clean dry wash cloth, or a full size sheet papertowel, again wrapped around the screwdriver metal shaft.

Place some menthol cooling body powder in your underwear to stay dry and sweat free.


If you must travel, you can use only the screwdriver method, although it takes a few more attempts to become completely clean.

also traveling with a crewdriver looks far less incriminating, than one of the bottom buddy things which looks like you stole it from the space shuttle.


That made me throw up a little bit. I wonder what you searched to get to this thread on a gaming website...


lol yeah... god damn, what a mental image.
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32044 Posts
July 27 2013 16:45 GMT
#87
hahahahahah
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
bidetsprayerman
Profile Joined September 2013
United States1 Post
September 05 2013 05:38 GMT
#88
--- Nuked ---
Tobberoth
Profile Joined August 2010
Sweden6375 Posts
September 05 2013 09:02 GMT
#89
I think the word "obese" is used incorrectly in this topic. You don't have to be so fucking huge that you can't reach your anus to be obese.
Kreb
Profile Joined September 2010
4834 Posts
September 05 2013 14:17 GMT
#90
High quality bump right there. Your contribution to the TL community shall be remembered, singlepost.
Djzapz
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada10681 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-09-05 14:22:48
September 05 2013 14:21 GMT
#91
The mother of all first world problems cometh.

Interesting post though. The elaborate logistics are seared into my brain.
"My incompetence with power tools had been increasing exponentially over the course of 20 years spent inhaling experimental oven cleaners"
unkkz
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
Norway2196 Posts
September 05 2013 15:15 GMT
#92
Had a friend when i was in my teens that had two quite obese parents. He would however often wonder how in the hell they had sex. Because no matter which position, bellies and fat thighs would probably be in the way of things "entering" other things. So how do obese people have sex? We are talking two obese persons here.

The most common missionary and from behind setups seem to be out of the question from the get go. The cowgirl does have some theoretic potential however.
Mr.Bimbles
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
Iceland457 Posts
October 08 2013 02:28 GMT
#93
On September 06 2013 00:15 unkkz wrote:
Had a friend when i was in my teens that had two quite obese parents. He would however often wonder how in the hell they had sex. Because no matter which position, bellies and fat thighs would probably be in the way of things "entering" other things. So how do obese people have sex? We are talking two obese persons here.

The most common missionary and from behind setups seem to be out of the question from the get go. The cowgirl does have some theoretic potential however.



Hmmm, Didn't think about that.
"If I was your wife I would poison your coffee" "Well If I was your husband I'd drink it"
Mr.Bimbles
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
Iceland457 Posts
October 08 2013 02:29 GMT
#94
On September 05 2013 23:17 Kreb wrote:
High quality bump right there. Your contribution to the TL community shall be remembered, singlepost.


I swear to god, that, this wasn't me... Feels awkward to have a 1 post bump up my thread ... Please believe me ...
"If I was your wife I would poison your coffee" "Well If I was your husband I'd drink it"
Mothra
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States1448 Posts
October 08 2013 02:31 GMT
#95
On October 08 2013 11:29 Mr.Bimbles wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 05 2013 23:17 Kreb wrote:
High quality bump right there. Your contribution to the TL community shall be remembered, singlepost.


I swear to god, that, this wasn't me... Feels awkward to have a 1 post bump up my thread ... Please believe me ...


Suuure... a likely story.
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
October 08 2013 05:08 GMT
#96
What keywords do people enter to find these posts?

There was seriously someone who bumped a thread where the original poster was pondering if he should go to Oklahoma University to say "You should go to U of O, it's a good school". The problem was, it was years after the original post was made. Then there was the "My anus hurts" one, and I believe one about masturbation or something. And then on top of that, someone in the BroodWar strategy section somehow found an old incontrol post and was like "Mr. Control, you seem to have a good understanding of zerg, can you help me out?"
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
Mr.Bimbles
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
Iceland457 Posts
December 11 2013 22:01 GMT
#97
On October 08 2013 14:08 ninazerg wrote:
What keywords do people enter to find these posts?

There was seriously someone who bumped a thread where the original poster was pondering if he should go to Oklahoma University to say "You should go to U of O, it's a good school". The problem was, it was years after the original post was made. Then there was the "My anus hurts" one, and I believe one about masturbation or something. And then on top of that, someone in the BroodWar strategy section somehow found an old incontrol post and was like "Mr. Control, you seem to have a good understanding of zerg, can you help me out?"


You mean keywords like "wiping" or "toilet"
"If I was your wife I would poison your coffee" "Well If I was your husband I'd drink it"
Hippieeechickkk
Profile Joined April 2015
1 Post
April 21 2015 13:45 GMT
#98
This is a completely ridiculous post. I'm MORBIDLY OBESE 334 pounds & I CAN WIPE EVERY PART OF MYSELF DOWN THERE! This is the most rude post I've ever seen.
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