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So I’ve encountered my first work place bully!
Let me start of by describing him to you guys. He’s blonde; blue eyed and a gorilla looking kind of dude. He’s your typical “bro”, got the tan the muscles and the possibly whitened teeth (their shiny like a bald mans head).
I’ve been at my job awhile now and never really noticed this guy, most people at my work speak with each other but I only just recently had to deal with him. It all started at the printer, I printed some documents and was walking back to my desk when I accidently bumped him. Naturally I’m a nice guy so the conversation went like this.
Me: “Sorry dude”
Bro: “Watch where your going bro”
Me: “Was just an accident man?”
Bro: “I’m watching you. *does the thing where you point your two fingers at your eyes then at the person”
I was generally wtf’d and then this dude even had the nerve to hit my papers out of my hands. It was like the classic bully movie, I was so shocked I just stood there for a second. The next day I was sitting at my desk typing away and I hear some loud footsteps. I turn around to see what it is and see The Bro.
Bro: “Get a tan bro! You creep me out, what are you some kind of necrophiliac?”
Me: “Surprised you even know what that means”
Bro: “Sexual word of the day calendar. Get educated.”
I have no clue what to do, the story doesn’t even end here! No one will believe me when I tell them this and I bet you won’t either. I was in the toilet and someone came in right in after me. There was already a guy on the urinal, so I took the men’s code and hit the toilet. I start taking a leak and I hear a voice say.
Voice: “NO I WON’T DO THAT TO YOU, YOU SICKO”
This immediately scared me just because I had no idea what was going on. I had no idea that this was referenced at me. I then heard the toilet door burst open and the voice say.
Voice: “OI buddy, old mate here was trying to get in my pants, what’s up with that bro?”
I came out of the toilets and they were both looking at me, Voice was... Well you probably guessed it already. It was Bro.
Me: “What’s going on?”
Bro: “Wow bro. Just Wow”
The other guy just gave me the dirtiest look and as he walked out said.
“Ill pray for you kid.”
As he left Bro looked at me awkwardly and said “I’m watching you” *repeated eye finger move*
My plan for revenge was originally obtain asbestos and put it in his food or protein shakes. But I just settled on taking a leak in a cup and putting it in the pot plan near his desk after everyone’s gone home.
My last plot for revenge was that I created an email extremely similar to his, so for example: TheBro@hotmail.com
TheBro@hotmail.com.au
I then printed them at home and brought them into our office and placed them at all the different printers. It was all just random crap like adverts or websites for the following: Penis enlargement, information on “Having small balls from excessive steroid use”, I photo shopped his face onto a few advertisements for erectile dysfunction and how he overcame it using x drug.
I haven’t been confronted so far and have eased up, it’s nice to see a few people giving him shit. His ego has dropped and now life is good.. for now. It's only been a few days, so if I am murdered let it be known, I'm not into banging dead bodies, but I will pee in a cup and put in a plant.
Goodbye friends.
 
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I don't know if this is real, but it's amusing enough. 5/5
Sad to think people like this might exist.
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Bro your blog is weaksauce. Get educated, bro.
Edit: Oh, one thing you can do instead of the pee in the plant is feeding the plant water with food coloring in it. The plant will grow funny colors and I will be curious to see how he reacts.
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Seemed more like he was just clowning with you, and wanted a few laughs. Nothing from that story screamed bully to me. Alot of guys at my work fuck with each other all the time, and constantly bash on one another. Its a form of bonding among males.
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On June 05 2012 14:24 eXigent. wrote:
Seemed more like he was just clowning with you, and wanted a few laughs. Nothing from that story screamed bully to me. Alot of guys at my work fuck with each other all the time, and constantly bash on one another. Its a form of bonding among males.
Well... nothing in the blog suggested to me he was just having fun. Sounded like he was being a total fuckwit. He didn't even know the OP, so I'm not seeing any random bonding attempt.
Edit: Actually if he was, then the OP is just being friendly back, by putting piss in his pot plant and sticking up random joke photos of him around the work-place. They just have different names for the same thing.
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Maybe try and fuck with him back, like to his face in a playful manor and see what happens, he may very well just laugh back, I have friends like that that took getting a bit of getting used to, but nice guys, maybe see how that goes. Honestly if he's not a joker and is seriously being a dick, then time for fun.
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If this shit bothers you (it would bother me), I'd find someone that can talk some sense into this numbskull.
Find his boss and raise it with him. How big is the company? Decent size copanies normally have a private HR number you can call if you want to do it quietly. Otherwise check up on some of the work place regulations, and shove that in the bosses face. Fact is the guy is a dick and will continue to be a dick until someone puts him in his place. You could lose your job for some of the shit you've done and there is no need for that.
Hit him where it hurts. He thinks he is some hotshot above the law, prove him wrong.
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This is the funniest blog I've ever read. 5, bro.
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Why didn't you confront him after that toilet incident ?
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Is it time for a bro down?
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lol nice blog entry, pretty fun read.
Good luck. Bro.
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You must be an introvert.
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hahaha ow god this bro is a try hard should of teach that aesthetic man how its real enjoyed reading but seriously bro no idea how you are going to get out of this one
Let him know that ur Zyzz and Chestbrah cousin he will most likley know who they are
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Pretty strange dude your reaction isnt anything better both of you are pretty strange.
I would have talked to him after that toilet thing.
And if nothing helps i would just speak to some higher instance (just tell him you will if he doesnt stop).
He is accusing you sexual harrasment thats nothing less than criminal behaiviour and overstepping all his rights.
If you play along with his games you both will distroy each others reputation... (doesnt make any sence)
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Which movie is this from? Seems familiar.
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On June 05 2012 16:21 sharky246 wrote:
You must be an introvert.
It sounds like you're implying he isn't "getting" something because he's not an extrovert. I'm an extrovert and I don't think it has anything to do with it. Plus, it seems like you're subtly knocking introverts, which is just sad.
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This is why I liked working in IT, no one fucks with the IT guy because he can make your life hell.
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Brah chill, he didn't do anything requiring any revenge.
Your panties shouldn't get twisted because of words.
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Ah, the blonde beast. Time for you to install yourself in the priestly caste and take your revenge.
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EPT
