EPTI have an Additional Maths exam in a few hours and I know I'm just gonna bomb it and make him sad again.
Dissapointing your parents
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Azera
3800 Posts
I have an Additional Maths exam in a few hours and I know I'm just gonna bomb it and make him sad again. | ||
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One Student
73 Posts
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Heh_
Singapore2712 Posts
You're 15 or 16 (if you're taking A maths) now so you might not yet understand the importance of a good education. To put it simply, your education status is strongly tied to your future salary. Don't fantasize about being one of those billionaires who dropped out of school, opened a business and made it big; it's easier to get struck by lightning while holding a winning TOTO ticket. Your father is right; although being so harsh is probably more demotivational than encouraging. | ||
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Azera
3800 Posts
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.Sic.
Korea (South)497 Posts
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One Student
73 Posts
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Roe
Canada6002 Posts
Do you make sure to study the key concepts and practice applying them on randomized questions, without the aid of your books? Is it just the exams that are getting to you? | ||
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SeeDLiNg
United States690 Posts
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Azera
3800 Posts
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Kukaracha
France1954 Posts
On May 09 2012 07:26 Heh_ wrote: Sad to say, such is life. Good grades aren't everything, but they count for a lot of things. For example, if you want a scholarship to go study in a university abroad, your sponsor will judge you firstly on your grades, then on the interview. Your future employer has no way to know if you have a good work ethic, your productivity, getting along with fellow colleagues etc. How do they do that? They just take the people with the best grades and hope for the best. You're 15 or 16 (if you're taking A maths) now so you might not yet understand the importance of a good education. To put it simply, your education status is strongly tied to your future salary. Don't fantasize about being one of those billionaires who dropped out of school, opened a business and made it big; it's easier to get struck by lightning while holding a winning TOTO ticket. Your father is right; although being so harsh is probably more demotivational than encouraging. Is it me or there's some sort of asian stereotype going on? Maybe in Singapore things work like this, but here in France secondary education is meaningless next to graduate schools, whis you acess through a series of exams. No matter how well you did when you were 10, what they want to see is your ability to perform under stress, on the spot, and your personality. Not only that, but your hapiness isn't tied to your salary. Being poor sucks, but this doesn't mean that you need to own a Porsche neither. All in all, disappointing your father can be a traumatizing experience, but you should know that there will always be a place for you, and that society isn't really a ladder with a predeterminated universal hierarchy. | ||
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Dfgj
Singapore5922 Posts
On May 09 2012 08:53 Kukaracha wrote: Is it me or there's some sort of asian stereotype going on? Maybe in Singapore things work like this, but here in France secondary education is meaningless next to graduate schools, whis you acess through a series of exams. No matter how well you did when you were 10, what they want to see is your ability to perform under stress, on the spot, and your personality. Not only that, but your hapiness isn't tied to your salary. Being poor sucks, but this doesn't mean that you need to own a Porsche neither. All in all, disappointing your father can be a traumatizing experience, but you should know that there will always be a place for you, and that society isn't really a ladder with a predeterminated universal hierarchy. Allow me to describe the Singapore system for you. You join a primary school (grades 1-6). At the end, you take your PSLE (primary school leaving exam). This exam determines what secondary school (grades 7-10) you are allowed to apply to. At the end of secondary school, you take your O-levels, the results of which determine which junior college (grades 11-12) you're allowed to apply to. Then, you take your A-levels afterwards, the grades of which are all singaporean universities care about in application. You'll note that fucking up at any stage potentially wrecks you outright because doing poorly on the PSLE puts you in a weaker secondary school -> you are less likely to do well on your O-level, and so on. What's more likely here is not the system but the culture. Singaporeans (specifically, parents and teachers) have the mentality that good grades = good job = good life, and this is drilled into the students to make them think each and every grade matters. Is it accurate? Well, somewhat - PSLE/Olevel/Alevels have lasting effects on your education and what you're allowed to pursue. Does Azera's random math exam count? Probably not. | ||
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MetalMarine
United States1559 Posts
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beetlelisk
Poland2276 Posts
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sam!zdat
United States5559 Posts
Don't put up with this emotionally abusive bullshit. It's time to have a nice big fight with dad. Welcome to adolescence. | ||
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MetalMarine
United States1559 Posts
On May 09 2012 09:34 beetlelisk wrote: Have you ever thought about private lessons? They are expensive and i am poor =( | ||
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RoboBob
United States798 Posts
I know a lot of people who were strongarmed by their parents to become a doctor, a lawyer, a banker...and their lives are utterly miserable because they hate their job. I think too many people pay lip service to the phrase "money can't buy happiness", when it's actually really true. Now, I'm not saying that you should indulge in arrogant hedonism and ONLY do the things that you want to do. Everybody makes sacrifices doing things that they don't want to do in order to do things that they want to do. But there needs to be a balance. | ||
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Dfgj
Singapore5922 Posts
On May 09 2012 09:34 beetlelisk wrote: Have you ever thought about private lessons? This is an option. Tutoring is a pretty big business in Singapore. You could tell your parents you need help with the topic and ask them to pay for your tutoring. If they care about your grades as a priority (which seems to be the case), they might like the idea. | ||
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beetlelisk
Poland2276 Posts
On May 09 2012 09:40 Dfgj wrote: This is an option. Tutoring is a pretty big business in Singapore. You could tell your parents you need help with the topic and ask them to pay for your tutoring. If they care about your grades as a priority (which seems to be the case), they might like the idea. I would even say they are responsible for the bad grades more than OP because they haven't done it earlier. I'm going to get my kids (when I have them) a tutor once they start getting Bs no matter the grade, assuming I can't help them myself. Good luck OP. | ||
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Dfgj
Singapore5922 Posts
On May 09 2012 09:46 beetlelisk wrote: I would even say they are responsible for the bad grades more than OP because they haven't done it earlier. I'm going to get my kids (when I have them) a tutor once they start getting Bs no matter the grade, assuming I can't help them myself. Good luck OP. Disagree. There's no better way to make a student hate a subject than forcing them into tutoring. | ||
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sam!zdat
United States5559 Posts
On May 09 2012 09:53 Dfgj wrote: Disagree. There's no better way to make a student hate a subject then force them into tutoring. And no better way to make a tutor hate his life. Take it from me. edit: I really need to find a way to institute a surly child surcharge, but that's a tricky one to implement | ||
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haduken
Australia8267 Posts
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DN.rSquar3d
Philippines50 Posts
Today, I'm still not excelling that much in terms of my grades (but that's compared to those from our school, UP), but I find other ways to make my dad proud. Right now, I'm posting this from work, and whatever income comes from this will go to my tuition fee for the next semester. What I really want to say is, grades aren't everything. Even if your grades aren't really huge, if you've got a good course and a good thesis, and you apply for a job that is related to your course/thesis, you will get hired nine times out of ten more than the scrubs with high grades but stupid theses. Or, find other ways to make your dad proud. As for me, I did that by showing him I can be responsible and work hard. I'm known as a slacker, waking up 10AM even when I have classes; now, I wake up 7:30AM to report to work by 8:30AM, then when I get home I help him with some work. That simple. Find something that might make your dad proud (and you want to do) besides grades, and just do it. Instill it into your habit, give it attention. But still. That's no excuse to flunk tests. It's also about mind-setting and studying. That's how I got through my second take of Math11; I simply thought I will get 1.0 in the next exam; even if I didn't, I would just tell myself I can do it the next exam, and study to that end. While I didn't get 1.0 as my final grade, I surprised myself by getting a 2.0, something very far from my initial expected grade of 3.0. In a nutshell: study, think positively, and if it doesn't pan out, don't give up. And look for something else that can make your dad proud.  | ||
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beetlelisk
Poland2276 Posts
On May 09 2012 09:53 Dfgj wrote: Disagree. There's no better way to make a student hate a subject than forcing them into tutoring. On May 09 2012 09:56 sam!zdat wrote: And no better way to make a tutor hate his life. Take it from me. edit: I really need to find a way to institute a surly child surcharge, but that's a tricky one to implement Thank you for your input, I'll keep it in mind but look I mean exactly what I wrote - with my own kid I'm not going to wait until situation deteriorates further and the kid starts to hate the subject, I'm going to take action once Bs start to appear or the teacher at school is a fucking retarded asshole. Before my kid starts to hate the subject. And if he does then I'll pay the tutor more to change it. I'm a man of my word. | ||
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Dfgj
Singapore5922 Posts
Emphasizing that a B = failure is also not going to fill them with cheer. Nor will blaming the teacher help. | ||
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beetlelisk
Poland2276 Posts
On May 09 2012 10:31 Dfgj wrote: It works both ways. Students hate a subject that they do poorly in, but they also do poorly in subjects they don't like. Taking your kid's personal time and turning it into more school, in a subject they don't care for, will not make them enjoy it, and that can either mean the tutoring will have little effect or lead to them being further disaffected by the subject. Emphasizing that a B = failure is also not going to fill them with cheer. Nor will blaming the teacher help. I didn't write that B is a failure, what I mean is I'm not going to be satisfied with Bs and the kid will know it from the very beginning and will know he/she can count on me in terms of helping in any way possible instead of "being sad" like OP dad is. What a fucking unhelpful cunt he is. And I didn't mean blaming the teacher neither but bad teachers happen. Depending on my economic situation I may not be able to afford to send my kid to a private school and this means the chance of stumbling on an asshole is higher. | ||
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Dfgj
Singapore5922 Posts
On May 09 2012 10:38 beetlelisk wrote: I didn't write that B is a failure, what I mean is I'm not going to be satisfied with Bs and the kid will know it from the very beginning and will know he/she can count on me in terms of helping in any way possible instead of "being sad" like OP dad is. What a fucking unhelpful cunt he is. And I didn't mean blaming the teacher neither but bad teachers happen. Depending on my economic situation I may not be able to afford to send my kid to a private school and this means the chance of stumbling on an asshole is higher. Yeah I'm not satisfied with Bs either but what that translates to is 'Bs are unacceptable' and from there, 'Bs are failure'. A lot of Singaporean culture gives you the 'grades = worth' mindset, because grades are tied to closely to good education, ability, future job, potential earnings (and money = value here). So it's good you say you'd try to emphasize that you'd be supportive; many Singaporean kids see their weak grades as a personal failing. idk what kind of advice I can give you Azera with regards to your parents, I don't know them. If you legitimately want to improve at the subject though, look for tutoring and see if you can get remedials from your teachers. Remedials can do a ton because it gives you a chance to have more direct attention from the teacher and fill in blanks you might have, especially useful for math which is largely making sure your methods are sound. | ||
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Thrill
2599 Posts
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Heh_
Singapore2712 Posts
On May 09 2012 10:43 Dfgj wrote: Yeah I'm not satisfied with Bs either but what that translates to is 'Bs are unacceptable' and from there, 'Bs are failure'. A lot of Singaporean culture gives you the 'grades = worth' mindset, because grades are tied to closely to good education, ability, future job, potential earnings (and money = value here). So it's good you say you'd try to emphasize that you'd be supportive; many Singaporean kids see their weak grades as a personal failing. idk what kind of advice I can give you Azera with regards to your parents, I don't know them. If you legitimately want to improve at the subject though, look for tutoring and see if you can get remedials from your teachers. Remedials can do a ton because it gives you a chance to have more direct attention from the teacher and fill in blanks you might have, especially useful for math which is largely making sure your methods are sound. Pretty much. The only advice I can give for math is to practice a shit ton. I tutored a sec 3 kid, and boosted his A Maths grades from D7 to A1/A2. That's mostly because I forced him to practice, when he would be goofing off otherwise. | ||
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-Kaiser-
Canada932 Posts
On May 09 2012 09:46 beetlelisk wrote: I would even say they are responsible for the bad grades more than OP because they haven't done it earlier. I'm going to get my kids (when I have them) a tutor once they start getting Bs no matter the grade, assuming I can't help them myself. Good luck OP. If your kid is getting Bs, it's not because he doesn't get it. It's because he does get it and he doesn't care. | ||
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Roe
Canada6002 Posts
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OpticalShot
Canada6330 Posts
On May 09 2012 07:39 .Sic. wrote: you're gonna fuck up if you are working hard just to please others. find your own reasons to study. set your own realistic goals and take pride if you achieve them. if not, figure out why you couldn't achieve your goal (were your standards unrealistically high, or did you just not work hard enough) and then try again. if you cant do this, you wont last in the long run. Very good advice, one that I would give to a lot of teenagers myself. If you're studying to please others (usually parents), then you won't last long. This is especially true in university - a LOT of those Asian kids that went into life sciences / business / engineering just to please their parents basically dropped out, switched majors, or took several years (of repeating courses and wasting money) to find their own motivations. No how smart and talented you are, there will be times that studies will hit you hard and heavy, and you'll be faced with enormous amount of stress and pressure. If what you're studying was for someone else, that's the moment that your mind snaps, and you say "fuck this", and drop out / fail / switch / whatever. Only those that study for their own good, their own ambitions and goals - those people will be able to endure those tough times through persistence, self-control, and determination. Do it for your own good, not to please your parents. | ||
metbull
United States404 Posts
Do a few practice probs right after that class (because it's fresh in your mind). Then do more practice probs when you are done with school. Immediate review right after class helps retention more than anything (for me at least). And hey, it's my second time in college after 10 years, and I'm rocking a 3.91 GPA (stupid teachers and their stupid A and A-......SIGH) | ||
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ticklishmusic
United States15977 Posts
Yes, I am nitpicking and being a grammer nutzee. Yes, the point is, that if your TL blog reflects you as a person, you need to try harder. You have 1K posts, so I guess you like and enjoy TL. So, write a good blog to show how you like the community and are willing to share your life with them. There's good advice to be had on TL, and you can solicit it by writing a good blog about your problems. There are a lot of people willing to help you, but they can't do it if you give no details. Why are you doing bad in school? Is it because you don't try? Is it because you just don't get the material? Is it because you're stressed out about disappointing your father and can't perform? There are a lot of ways to mess up in school. @Metalmarine: what class are you taking? I've found in college having friends to study with is worth a lot. A lot of my friends dropped pre-med between semesters, so I've been studying alone and it has been going significantly worse, haha. | ||
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obesechicken13
United States10467 Posts
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blade55555
United States17423 Posts
On May 09 2012 10:38 beetlelisk wrote: I didn't write that B is a failure, what I mean is I'm not going to be satisfied with Bs and the kid will know it from the very beginning and will know he/she can count on me in terms of helping in any way possible instead of "being sad" like OP dad is. What a fucking unhelpful cunt he is. And I didn't mean blaming the teacher neither but bad teachers happen. Depending on my economic situation I may not be able to afford to send my kid to a private school and this means the chance of stumbling on an asshole is higher. Fuck thank god I am not your child, I always feel bad for kids who have super strict parents and have to have A's or they are "disappointed" in them. So disgusting to see I have seen many kids who go "oh I have to study all day because my parents aren't happy if I get below an A, it sucks I can never hang out with friends or anything unless it's summer". Not kidding I never understood why some parents are disappointed with something below an A lol... In general you are saying B = Failure if you say you aren't going to be satisfied with B's... As for you OP that sucks and while I don't know to much other then what you said is if you can't do better and he's always disappointed well Idk what advice to give  . | ||
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beetlelisk
Poland2276 Posts
On May 15 2012 13:00 blade55555 wrote: Fuck thank god I am not your child, I always feel bad for kids who have super strict parents and have to have A's or they are "disappointed" in them. So disgusting to see I have seen many kids who go "oh I have to study all day because my parents aren't happy if I get below an A, it sucks I can never hang out with friends or anything unless it's summer". Not kidding I never understood why some parents are disappointed with something below an A lol... In general you are saying B = Failure if you say you aren't going to be satisfied with B's... As for you OP that sucks and while I don't know to much other then what you said is if you can't do better and he's always disappointed well Idk what advice to give .Jesus. Who said my kid would have to work all day to get that A? It's simply a work ethic, until high school it's not hard to get good grades at all. There is plenty time left to socialize, do some sports and play computer games, in that order. Even when you are in college I've seen some posts saying college students are stupid for whining about school and homework, real shit starts once you graduate and get a job. What I'm saying is I'm not going to deprive my kids of all the good stuff the life offers, perhaps it's you who would have too low standards regarding your own kids? | ||
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ticklishmusic
United States15977 Posts
I consider getting an A to be idea. Introducing A- and B+ to the system complicates it a bit though. I got a B and a B+, or maybe 2 B's this semester-- I'm a bit afraid to check . I'll accept them because I have to, but I'm sure as hell not happy with them. It's more that than thinking OMG B END OF WORLD SOIL FAMILY HONOR. | ||
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Snaiil
Sweden312 Posts
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Br3ezy
United States720 Posts
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Lousy!
Canada73 Posts
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