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So I have not written a blog here in quite some time but hello again TL
This is just kind of a rant/vent I really didnt know who I could bring this up too... irl
Basically today it was a friday and I was having a pretty average day so far. I went to this track meet after school (high school) because I have alot of friends in track (use to be in track until injury) and I wanted to support them. Now it was the league finals and the final track meet of the entire season so basically the my school was packed ( we have the nicest stadium so they host it at my school). This one kid who I do not like often was sitting near me and my friends and to put it lightly he is a dick.
He is not the common guy code gentleman within 5 minutes he gets in a fight with a girl kinda like a friendly one but still kind of being a dick and barely not pushing it over the edge. Now hes constantly bashing on the track team many of which are on my friends saying things like "I thought they were good" and "wtf is this they suck." So after a while I had enough hearing all this and commented "At least they have done much better then the basketball team (hes on basketball if you didnt catch that)." And this guy will bash you all he fucking pleases but when you bash him its like you just danced on his mothers grave or something. He turns around and goes "hey... I use to bully you and beat you up when we were little.... I can very easily do this again." Suddenly for the next 30 minutes I just sat their lifeless in complete shock of had what been said and all the sudden flashbacks I had. My days of getting bullied by this kid and how helpless and weak I was at the time. I never wanted to know how that felt every again but in less than a few seconds ago this kid had just destroyed me with that. It didnt even matter that since then I have become stronger bigger and probably buffer then him by now because im not that kind of person to start shit. I merely told him I would like to see him try and to fuck off. It didnt matter the damage had been done and all these thought shifted into my brain.
Being picked on all the time as a little kid and being skinny little and weak. I cant help but feel like the entire experience had just completely shaped who I am today, a passive person who is extremely self conscious about alot. I literally just sat there for about 30 minutes in complete shock. The feeling had overcome my complete body likfe wildfire. For the first time in years I had had this feeling of complete helplessness like I was getting bullied again. Never before had a feeling like this one be triggered and only because I felt like that again did it get worse with all the memories of it all.
My whole day was just destroyed by this one asshole who use to beat me up when I was little. My whole day in shock and I just couldnt do a single thing about except freeze and act like I was 8 again.
Even though that feeling has past it still feels pretty traumatic to me and I really dont know what happened or how to really deal with all of that anger.
Only takes one guy to ruin your day.......
 
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Fuck that sucks man. A guy like that is gonna be a loser down the road, guaranteed (we attract people like ourselves). I've felt the way you felt before, sorry not much I can say that I think would help. Maybe others will chime in. Intense exercise like sprints and weight lifting can help rid the mind of that helpless feeling. Maybe some angry music might help too, here's some if that sounds appealing:
+ Show Spoiler +
Anyway chin up, and remember the best revenge is to live your life awesomely.
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I read the title of this thread and got annoyed and wanted to give a one-line answer of, "you're right, it only takes one person to ruin your day: you." Then i got to the middle and the bullying and felt sympathetic and bad and wanted to offer some encouraging words and kindness, because getting bullied sucks and reliving that stuff sucks too, and i want to pat you on the head and tell you to chin up. But then you ended on this complete defeatist woe is me stuff like you really just want to wallow in it and i didnt know where to conclude my emotions. And thats the end point.
And I understand that you feel like crap. And I understand that even if i say, "you're in control of how you handle stuff and how you decide handle it" that sometimes a wave you can't possibly manage just slaps you in the face. But you're still in control of what you decide to do with that. Whether that be to hug a pillow for a while and watch a movie and then eat some ice cream and talk to friends and feel better and move on, or just say "you know what highschool is fucking bullshit i dont really care", or spend some time wondering if you really needed to step up and say something if you didn't have the will to follow that train wherever it was gonna go, or...whatever. honor it and move on. wherever "on" is, dont fall into your head and don't make too much of a deal out of it; and don't ignore it. okay im being too rambly at this point.
PM me if you want to talk about it. That's what i've got.
otherwise
/chin up
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I just hope those dickwads will get served by a healthy dose of karma in the ass when they least expect it. I know a few people like this and basically you just have to ignore or confront/which might have conflict.. I'd just leave them alone to be retarded by themselves.
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While I probably didn't have it as bad as you, I was subject to a little bullying in middle school. It sucks every time people bring up ole' middle school memories. They don't try to insult me or anything, but just the subject of middle school itself brings back memories. It sucks, and you can't avoid the feeling. You just got to keep going, and realize how awesome you are in the present. And especially in the case of this guy, just realize that he must really be grasping for straws if he needs to recall childhood to get leverage on you.
Makes me remember this. In 10th grade, some guy brought up how he and some others made me cry in 7th grade. All I said was how pathetic he was for bringing that up, and that he is really desperate if he needs to dig that far in the past to try to make me feel bad. He never brought it up again, and strangely, we're really good friends now.
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On May 05 2012 14:00 Angel_ wrote:
I read the title of this thread and got annoyed and wanted to give a one-line answer of, "you're right, it only takes one person to ruin your day: you." Then i got to the middle and the bullying and felt sympathetic and bad and wanted to offer some encouraging words and kindness, because getting bullied sucks and reliving that stuff sucks too, and i want to pat you on the head and tell you to chin up. But then you ended on this complete defeatist woe is me stuff like you really just want to wallow in it and i didnt know where to conclude my emotions. And thats the end point.
And I understand that you feel like crap. And I understand that even if i say, "you're in control of how you handle stuff and how you decide handle it" that sometimes a wave you can't possibly manage just slaps you in the face. But you're still in control of what you decide to do with that. Whether that be to hug a pillow for a while and watch a movie and then eat some ice cream and talk to friends and feel better and move on, or just say "you know what highschool is fucking bullshit i dont really care", or spend some time wondering if you really needed to step up and say something if you didn't have the will to follow that train wherever it was gonna go, or...whatever. honor it and move on. wherever "on" is, dont fall into your head and don't make too much of a deal out of it; and don't ignore it. okay im being too rambly at this point.
PM me if you want to talk about it. That's what i've got.
otherwise
/chin up
Hey thank you for your words and while I am looking up about it because I do have many things to look forward to in the future I just didnt know what to do about it all because I have never before been faced with something like that or something that comes bad to haunt you. But thank you and would just like to say i am starting too look up more about it
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I wrote a motivational reply until I realized that YOU started the confrontation.
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On May 05 2012 15:13 iTzSnypah wrote:
I wrote a motivational reply until I realized that YOU started the confrontation.
Well I said it in a joking manner not actually looking for trouble
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On May 05 2012 15:25 Dice17 wrote:Show nested quote +On May 05 2012 15:13 iTzSnypah wrote:
I wrote a motivational reply until I realized that YOU started the confrontation. Well I said it in a joking manner not actually looking for trouble
Yes, it was probably something I would say myself. However you portrayed it as a threat. You could of easily flipped it into a joke defusing the situation.
He took it as a threat because your generalization of Track>Basketball, indirectly stating You>Him (assuming he had knowledge of you having been formerly on the track team).
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On May 05 2012 15:42 iTzSnypah wrote:Show nested quote +On May 05 2012 15:25 Dice17 wrote:On May 05 2012 15:13 iTzSnypah wrote:
I wrote a motivational reply until I realized that YOU started the confrontation. Well I said it in a joking manner not actually looking for trouble Yes, it was probably something I would say myself. However you portrayed it as a threat. You could of easily flipped it into a joke defusing the situation. He took it as a threat because your generalization of Track>Basketball, indirectly stating You>Him (assuming he had knowledge of you having been formerly on the track team).
I am not in track anymore and cant run because of an injury I was just sticking up for my friends around him obviously pissed off by his many comments about the team.
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Now that you're bigger and stronger than him, it's time to bully him back :D
I'm half-joking lol
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EPT
Don’t let an rotten egg take away the good memories you’ll have in high school. There’s always someone to talk to as well!
