EPT
A Tough Fucking Year
Writing publicly is a bit dishonest because it is hard enough to be honest with yourself and even your close friends, let alone an online community you are a part of. While I don't ever try to be dishonest with my writing, there are things that I do gloss over and because of that, it may give the wrong impression. One thing is, am I wildly successful in everything that I do, am I successful in my career and work? No, I fuck up just as much and usually much bigger than most other people.
A lot of times we'll put our best foot forward and a lot of times we'll read things about what people are doing and we'll think, damn that guy is lucky or he is in a good place, or I wish I had those kinds of breaks.
The thing is, this year has been my toughest year ever in business, 2011 is a year I'd rather forget even though I have learned a lot. For the most part, in my professional career, I've run good, meaning that I went from strength to strength- I made a lot of sacrifices, but those sacrifices paid off. 2011 wasn't that kind of year. Without going into much detail, every win I had was minor and every mistake I made, I got massively punished for. But that is what you get in a declining unstable market, everyone running for the hills.
Hating me is irrelevant to me
Thing is, in life, I have a lot of people who hate me, just can't stand to look at me, and really, I don't give a fuck either, and when I was holding a very senior position at my old company (which was an industry market leader) I could keep the situation under control and even if people hated me for whatever reason, they couldn't affect me. Most of the time I was hated because people thought that I was lucky to be in my position and that they knew better or that I was an obstacle to their success. Well it's been 2 years since I went off on my own and in that time those same people who hated me openly and privately have done everything they can to drag down my name, reputation and re-attribute my accomplishments. This has affected my professional reputation and with it the ease in which I can get things done. Of course people tell me who and who is actively doing this and do I retaliate?
No, I accepted that it would happen, even by people who were relatively close to me, and more to the point, I am not in any position to retaliate, it would just be a distraction. Because I'm not doing what I do because of criticism both good and bad, I'm doing it because I want to do it and I have something specific I wanted to accomplish. In terms of business, I wanted to know that I could do every aspect of management from a large company to a start-up. So as it's been, to all those who actively try to to fuck me when I've put myself in a lower position, I don't confront them, I just let them be because I know when I do make it, all of it wouldn't be worth even a passing thought. I'm not looking to just be a bit better, but to be in a totally different league.
Why I'm on TL
But my industry reputation and my TL reputation are two very different things, me being disliked because it looks like I lead a perfect life isn't helpful here. And I'm aware that that is how I present myself. I'm not here to brag, I'm not here for my ego, and I usually don't post up personal photos or share something that I don't think is insightful. I'm here sincerely, but it is hard to take what I say sincerely at times, and I get that and being human, I can't help but always try to put my best foot forward.
So I'm going to leave you guys with a few practical points that allow me to keep going, even when it is the most shittiest time and I'm seriously frustrated or even depressed with how things are going. We all have different standards,and ambitions and for me, those standards are always getting higher. For the first time ever, in 2011, I thought I probably bit off more than I could chew, and nearly choked on some humble pie, but I kept at it, even through some weeks I couldn't sleep or eat or exercise properly because I just couldn't make things work. I have sleepless nights and I never expect sympathy because I made the choice to be in the position I am in and I have to live with having a family that I provide for and force them to share in my ambition whether they like it or not and if things work out, great, but if not, I wonder if I'm just burdening their lives when I could have already lived on fat cat corporate easy street. I have to live everyday to know that I am a selfish ambitious mofo and some days when everything is fucked, it gets to me. But I accept that for what it is and really, selfish as it may be, this is me.
I started again because I didn't want to regret not trying
The thing that pushed me to go off and do something else was because I thought and I knew that if I didn't try to go off on my own now, then I never would and I would regret that for the rest of my life. I basically started from scratch again, and I thought, with all my experience and skill, it would be difficult running a few start-ups (lol), that I could do it, no matter how tough. But I was completely unprepared for the toll it took, in that, hard work, experience and everything I could bring to bear, just wasn't enough. Mentally, it was an immense blow that took everything I had to recover from and not let it just drag me under, even when things were ok, because I've never just done ok, when I've put everything into it and I am considered one of the top execs in my industry. It wasn' t that my ego was shaken, my understanding of my own capabilities took a massive hit and it was extremely hard not to start to question everything. As it's 2012 and things have turned positive on most levels, but it has been the toughest year for me in my life full stop.
Thing is, being part of TL and of course my family, is one of the main thing that keeps me balanced from being a zombie work horse. So 100% of the time when I'm writing, something has been on my mind, so having the privilege to post and be received is something that also keeps me going as well. Thank you TL.
So if I give the impression that I have rosy life of fairies and money falling from the sky, and that I jet set around the world in 1st class- well at one point I did have that life- business not first class- but no matter how much fail my life can have, I am always thankful for my family and the fact that I can have the opportunity to at least try to go for it. So I just wanted to share the following practical points that allow me to work the best I can work and keep pressing on, even if I feel as though I'm 2 steps behind for every 1 step forward:
1. Always keep learning and develop skills.
Whatever you do, something which is new or interesting, learn all about it, but experience it, try to do it, and develop skills around it. Of course there is a limit in how much you have, but at the very least read books, at least a book a week on anything that interests you and when you find a topic that is very interesting read everything you can on the subject until you can differentiate between shitty writers and good writers. Give me any business strategy or marketing book and I'll tell you if the writer is full of shit or not in about 10 mins maximum.
The only thing separating something from being an opportunity is preparation.
If you're not reading at least 1 book every 2 weeks, you're never going to have any in-depth understanding to do anything outside of your immediate knowledge base. From those readings, do some writing, think about it, understand it and apply it. If you have any extra time, learn a language, learn photo shop, learn to take photos etc.
2. Make sure your work table, room and PC desktop is always clean and organized.
If it isn't, you're always going to be inefficient. ALWAYS. Even if you are good at what you do, you could be 20% better. Before you begin your work, clean your desk, even if you don't want to make a thousand folders on your PC, at least label your files properly and if you make a mess, clean it then, and keep your room clean. If you can't do this, forget everything else, cause if what I'm saying is true, then everything you do is 20% less than what it should be and carry that over 5 years, you just fucked yourself out of a year. Don't argue with me, don't justify it, just for 3 months do exactly as I write, and then let me know if you aren't that more efficient.
3. Have a schedule book/calendar.
Even if you don't follow it to the T, every day write in it what you have to do, just list it out at the very minimum and even if you write the same list every day for a week, just do it, and don't write it on random sheets of paper, get a calendar book and write it in. And every time you finish or start something, check it off to indicate that it is progress or done. Every time you finish a few days, go back and fold the top page from from the top right corner down so it makes half page fold (triangle top) and the next page fold it from the bottom left corner up. So after a while it will leave an empty triangle space in the middle of your calendar scheduler. Don't ask me why I do it, I just do it and it does make me feel as though I'm progressing. And that is the thing, time is so elusive, but if you can just get a handle on how much time is really passing in relation to what you are doing, it just keeps you on track.
4. Never blame others and never complain.
Even if it is 98% the other person's fault, that 2% is something you can improve on, but if you keep blaming others or dwell on it, you lose that 2%. Life isn't about these massive wins that one day you win the lottery, its about the small edges that build up and you need to be focused to do that. Don't get distracted by others, of course you need to work with them, of course they may slack off, but don't think what you're doing is the end goal, you developing your capabilities is an on going goal and by default you will be able to produce results. But you can't do that if you are blaming the world, others and complaining. You have a job, it's tough, everyone has a tough life, just shut the fuck up and get it done. Make it simple and straightforward.
5. Exercise everyday, at least 20 push ups and 20 squats. Just do it, every day, even 5 and 5 or whatever, but if you don't, you're body just isn't optimal to work.
6. Always be cheerful and look on the bright side; life can be very shitty and it is most shitty when things happen beyond your control and even more shitty when you made a bad decision and you are trying to work your way out of it. But regardless, enjoy the moment, understand that it is a learning period and swear to yourself you're going to learn from this and make the most out of it, and then smile, even if it fucking hurts, just smile and press on. You need to be optimistic, because if you aren't no one is going to be optimistic for you and most of the time, if you can just hang on a bit longer and a bit longer than that, things will usually turn around, but if you give up first, well it is just fucked right then and there.
7. It's ok to despair once in a while and just veg out for 1 full day. It is my dirty little secret, but I may press myself hardcore for a few weeks on end, but whenever I have a chance to veg out, or I just can't work efficiently anymore, I just veg out for the day and at the end of the day, we do need a moment to recharge. Sometimes our harshest critics are ourselves and sometimes we just need to take a day off and smell the air and be thankful we are alive because at the end of the day, things are relative. Yes, I'm not making the millions that I want to be, but I'm still doing what I love and that is more than what most people can say, so sometimes the entire process of achieving something becomes so narrow and suffocating, you just need to veg out and be a human instead of a machine- but more than just recharging yourself physically, it's more about getting relative perspective to get back into it with a level head.
8. Always keep your personal finances in check. Don't over spend, don't miss your credit card payments, get a second job if you need to, or take a non-paying internship if it means you'll get a job with a future better salary, but whatever you do, keep your personal finances straight or else everything else won't seem to matter. Its funny that when you're personal finances are fucked up, you won't be able to focus on anything but that, then you're entire life is on pause. Get this fixed and never let it go out of hand. Sacrifice to make sure your credit is always good.
9. Lastly, you can't do any of things, none of it, until you know you want to achieve something, then naturally the focus comes, that it isn't a constant force of will to try to press on And not everyone wants to achieve something, cause you need routine, discipline to make something out of nothing and anything you make is directly proportional to the time and sacrifice you put into it. Some people are natural born achievers, others are not. But say that you're not a natural born achiever, then usually it is about maturity.
It would seem strange that I talk about maturity now, but I mean it when there is a point in your life, you realize that this is the one life you have to life and you better damn well live it. It's the ability to fundamentally understand that without having someone tell you the equivalent that, 'you only have a short period to live'. But to also balance it in the context of building something step-by-step as well.
Nothing happens overnight, but you need to have that determination as well. And I think most people who do not want to really achieve anything are the ones who really know themselves the least, who do not know what are their real passions aside from what is fed to them for some minor sense of happiness. With maturity, you know what kind of person you truly are, your strengths and weaknesses, what makes you grumpy or what kind of person really makes you the better person, and you will have an understanding that this is our one life to live, but also balance that with the fact that things take time to do properly, a confidence of self. If you have that maturity, then all the points above are acceptable. It isn't an effort to do them and they have a effective result on what you are trying to achieve.
You Won't Break, Take that as a Fact
In much of what I've written here is what I've written in the past in one shape or another, but I share it now because I also need to take stock of what I do and don't do. When I'm on the ball, all of the above are in play, even when nothing seems to be working, sometimes this is only thing that keeps me able to go on. But as soon as you stop pressing on, it's over. So you need to at the very least, keep pressing on to stay in the game. So I keep at it until something breaks, but what breaks will not be me.
My friends at TL, everyone's life is difficult if you are doing something that means something to you. If you go in with focus and an understanding that no matter how much you fail, are set back, or even completely fucked by circumstances outside of your control, as long as you just don't break, you'll make it through to the other side. If you don't break something else will always break first.
Go break em TL and never let them think you even broke a sweat trying.
