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So I finally made it to 1000 posts, with a little help from my indignation at the end of a recent computer game. Been here over a year and since arbitrary milestone posts are kind of a tradition, here's mine! It's honestly amazing I made it this far as I have some rather polarising viewpoints at times and I've had to work hard and moderating my own posts before hitting submit, something I'd urge all new users to do. It's not impossible to get across what you want to say without being unkind to others, sometimes it just takes a little thought.
First, because my forum history is mostly from the point of view of an SC2 fan, I wanted to say thank you to the Brood War community. I don't interact with you guys as much since I'm not really in to the scene but it's clear that without you TL wouldn't be what it is today, so thanks for helping to make the most awesome community on the Internet for people like me to stumble on later. I know there are posters that cause BW/SC2 issues, mostly in my experience from more inconsiderate SC2 posters, so I just wanted to let you know you're appreciated and I really hope BW can become whatever it needs to for you guys to keep getting the enjoyment from what is still an amazing game. ♥
Second I need to thank the staff of TL. I don't have such a big block of text to write, but the site literally wouldn't be what it is without you all and I love the articles, interviews, photobombs, portals and features that are always being added. The moderation is my favourite on any forum I've ever been on, strict but it keeps the atmosphere and quality decent. I'm sure someone is going to accuse me of sucking up as a result of that last sentence, but I think it's important to say it anyway, so  .
Also a thank you to Liquid Sheth for being awesome. If you ever see this you were my favourite player while even in FXO and when you moved to Liquid (my favourite team) it was absolutely awesome. Your stream is great and you're still my favourite player and I'm always cheering for you. Also thanks to TLO for inspirational Zerg play, but please lose the beard soon!!! Finally to the rest of Team Liquid players, you guys all seem really cool - GL HF!
Finally a quick shout out to the guys from the Gay Starcraft Players thread/IRC for being lots of fun.
Oh one final thing, people who pronounce "herb" as "erb" need to stop it. I know that's kinda out of no where but if I'm writing a blog today, which I obviously am, it needs to be added. We don't have 'erbivores', 'orticulture', 'is and ers' or 'earts' and we don't great each other with 'I'. Just because some words use the h as silent, doesn't mean it's not a real letter and can be ignored in words at random. Herbs.
Ok so with that out of the way, I decided I'd tell people a little bit more about myself for this milestone but honestly there's not that much particularly interesting about myself and so I decided instead I'd focus on the one part of myself that is known by a few people, but which a lot of people are fairly uninformed on and see if I could maybe help inform people, or answer any questions that people might have (more on this later). So yeah, in short my real name is Chloe and I'm a 24 year old trans woman - or to be less subtle my outward biological traits were male at the time of my birth. From this point on will be nothing but trans stuff, so if you're not interested in that I'd suggest skipping this.
I've read a hell of a lot of comments both inside and outside of the SC2 community on the subject of trans people and I already did a lecture post a long while ago, so I figured I'd try to explain some stuff that people may wonder about, but I can obviously only do so through my own perspective and experiences. I've actually discussed some of this stuff already in PM's with people and generally it's the same kind of questions so I'm hoping that if I answer some of them more publicly it might help. I also appreciate I might get some crap for posting this, and I have considered all the repercussions I could think of and I don't think I really need to worry about any. No one I know in real life could stumble upon this post and not already know (I make a point of it) and I've never uploaded a photo anywhere, opened a Facebook etc or posted real personal details for a malicious passer by to dig up.
The most common question I see asked is the most obvious one, why would someone want to change their gender? The problem is that with regards to trans people it doesn't actually make sense as a question. I never wanted to change. my gender identity has always been female. I didn't choose to be a woman, and my life would have been much easier (and cheaper!) had I been a man but I wasn't. That leaves me in a position where I essentially have a full body birth defect which I need to try to treat. I didn't choose to change who I was, I chose to change my body to conform with it. The idea of someone just deciding they want to be the opposite gender is as alien to me as it is to most of you. It is, in my opinion and experience thus far, impossible to change who you are but it's not impossible to change your physical appearance.
As an interesting aside, I actually would have needed hormone treatment either way, because my Testosterone levels were below the absolute minimum for any male of any age.
"Well you'll never be a real woman". I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've seen that written about trans women. I'd love to know exactly what defines a 'real' woman. Does she have to conform to how you think she should look? Does her medical history have to include or exclude certain points? May she not act in her own interests, or how she chooses? Does she have to be able to get pregnant? Maybe she can't be born with certain physical aspects to her? Maybe she needs to be defined purely by her natural, expected reproductive abilities according to her genes (aka, purely defined as a sex object)? Trying to define us like that you end up with a very small sub section of society which excludes a lot of people who were born completely female, and what about when science catches up and none of that is even relevant? Are trans women still not 'real'? It's a reactionary view point which tries to define what men and women may be and what we may not, or based purely on what people are comfortable with. A woman is an adult female (as defined by our core gender identity, in our minds not between our legs), regardless of anyone's opinion of how she looks.
The second most common question I get asked in real life when I talk to people about it for the first time, tends to be "are you gay?" which I should add I've never been able to answer without them having to think about what they just asked, lol. The answer for me personally is that I'm a straight woman (though I tend to just say "I'm straight" to see the persons mind work it out, always gets me a cheap laugh) but the question goes deeper than that, I think. It's a confusion of gender and sexual orientation in some cases I believe. But as per the original point, I could no more decide to be a gay man than I could decide to be a lesbian. Would a straight woman be happy as a gay man or would she still be the same person without really being able to express who she was in a relationship? Unfortunately we don't get choices on this things. I should add, I know a lot of trans people, some are gay/lesbian, others are bi and some are straight. Gay people aren't necessarily transsexuals, and neither are trans people necessarily gay.
Another very common question is when did I know, and that's kinda difficult to narrow down with the advantage of hindsight unfortunately. I don't conform to beliefs that boys and girls have to act in any specific way, but I was definitely girly when I was younger (being girly in itself means nothing at all though) and there were several points where I could say "here"...maybe. First, when I was in first school and we were doing a "who am I" type thing, the room was split in to boys and girls, and I refused to sit on the boy's side. Eventually agreed to sit between the two groups, with the boys, but I don't remember the incident clearly enough to tell you my motivations at like 6. There were other points I could mention, but to skip to the end, I knew without question at 12/13. There was no instant "oh" moment, but by that age I realised the consequences of what was happening.
Hmmm...I think that's actually about it for questions I usually get asked or issues I see on the Internet honestly. I'm not actually going to post anything about surgical options for fear of scaring everyone and for the fact that I still need to pull £14k out of no where before I have any first hand experience on it. Not going to be the easiest of tasks as an unemployed trans person with no real qualifications in anything.  If any of the financial genius type people on TL have any ideas, I'd appreciate them. I suppose if anyone really wanted to hear my thoughts on the current state of the options I could add a spoilered bit later. Anyway, I'm heading drastically off topic now so yeah...
Now I've gotten here I'm not really sure how to end this post. If anyone has any further questions, comments or just wants to disagree with me in a constructive/polite manner that's fine I guess. Since I'm trying to make this post an open and helpful thing, I promise not to take offence at any serious questions people may have. I love the TL community, Starcraft and the ABL so keep being awesome and once again for making this the best site on the Internet.
 
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I say erb.
I also say erbivores.
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Gratz on your 1000th.
A question I've been wondering and it's probably different for each person, but do you date much? When do you tell the person you're dating that you are trans?
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Tyvm for posting this, nice to hear from an experiend person 
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On March 28 2012 03:54 Chargelot wrote:I say erb. I also say erbivores.
Likewise! What's up with that?
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On March 28 2012 04:24 RedTail wrote:
Gratz on your 1000th.
A question I've been wondering and it's probably different for each person, but do you date much? When do you tell the person you're dating that you are trans?
Thank you. It is definitely different for everyone, but for me I don't date much. I've honestly only really dated one guy and that lasted just over a year, but ultimately he had to move away and we're still friends. I'm also really quite shy in real life too, which doesn't help. But as to telling potential partners, I do it long before dating becomes an issue which isn't that common so I'll explain more.
I use a rule that the first time I'm giving out my phone number, email address or home address for the purposes of being friends with someone, before I give them it I'll tell them I'm trans. It'd be better to live in a world where I didn't have to even think about it of course, but I don't want people to somehow discover it later behind my back, or to become friends with someone only to later find out they actually wouldn't like me if they knew more about me. Both can be avoided if I just tell people before becoming real friends.
It might sound a bit strange to view it as something that needs to shared, but I find that most people don't actually care, or just have a couple of questions out of curiousity so it's worked well so far. Also means I get to skip the whole "when to bring it up" thing that comes with dating.
Every trans person I know (male or female) would always tell someone before becoming intimate with them, most before agreeing to anything more than a meal together if they think it's going somewhere. I actually don't know anyone in real life who uses my "out yourself to all friends" approach because for the most part we'd all rather just blend in and be invisible, just like everyone else. I just view it as making sure I don't emotionally invest myself with people who'd ultimately be an issue.
On March 28 2012 04:49 dGHaiL wrote:Likewise! What's up with that?
I should add, I don't actually know if I'm correct on this issue. I was brought up with it as "herb" and then one day everyone started correcting it to "erb". It doesn't make sense, so even if I'm somehow wrong on the correct pronounciation, the correct pronounciation is wrong. Given how strange it'd seem for that one word, so similar to others, to randomly be missing a letter I think it's a myth gone wrong.
On March 28 2012 04:28 Amestir wrote:Tyvm for posting this, nice to hear from an experiend person
Thanks for your post.
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United States22883 Posts
I'm glad you made this blog and that you felt safe making it here.
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Have you ever felt you wish you lost your memory of your gender before?
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In 'Artford, 'Averford and 'Ampshire, 'urricanes 'ardly Hever 'appen.
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Finally a quick shout out to the guys from the Gay Starcraft Players thread/IRC for being lots of fun.
Hi Iyerbeth!
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congrats :D It's a long journey eh
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On March 28 2012 03:43 Iyerbeth wrote:Oh one final thing, people who pronounce "herb" as "erb" need to stop it.
Yes! This one million times over! I love you.
"Erb" is not correct, it is an Americanization. They have taken an English word and pronounced it incorrectly for so long that the mispronunciation has become the norm.
Other similar instances which annoy me:
Buoy
Aluminium (my web browser's spell checker even says this is spelled incorrectly...)
Data
Oregano
Basil
Vase
Leisure
Zebra
Schedule
Route
Also, good job on being so comfortable and open about who you are. You have my respect
On March 28 2012 08:26 Haemonculus wrote:
In 'Artford, 'Averford and 'Ampshire, 'urricanes 'ardly Hever 'appen.
I see what you did there, 'Aemonculus.
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Canada5155 Posts
On March 28 2012 13:21 Tektos wrote:
Buoy
Aluminium (my web browser's spell checker even says this is spelled incorrectly...)
Data
Oregano
Basil
Vase
Leisure
Zebra
Schedule
Route
Boy
Al oo min ee um
Day ta
Uh reg uh no
Bay zil
Vayze
Lee sure
Zee bra
Sked jewel
Root
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Show nested quote +On March 28 2012 08:26 Haemonculus wrote:
In 'Artford, 'Averford and 'Ampshire, 'urricanes 'ardly Hever 'appen. I see what you did there, 'Aemonculus.
Ooahh gooannnn!
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Grats on 1000 :D Glad I read this after that miss universe thread. I'm trans as well so those threads are always so depressing ;_; I'm glad you're open and willing to educate people on this site, maybe those types of threads can be more positive instead of the shitfest they end up being if some of the ignorance is lifted.
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Thank you to everyone who posted!
On March 28 2012 13:21 Tektos wrote:Show nested quote +On March 28 2012 03:43 Iyerbeth wrote:
Oh one final thing, people who pronounce "herb" as "erb" need to stop it. Yes! This one million times over! I love you. "Erb" is not correct, it is an Americanization. They have taken an English word and pronounced it incorrectly for so long that the mispronunciation has become the norm.
Awesome, I was sure it was wrong and it's been bugging me a lot lately. Thank you! :D
On March 28 2012 08:22 noobcakes wrote:
Have you ever felt you wish you lost your memory of your gender before?
I have yes, but I'm not sure I would if I were given the choice. If it were entirely replaced with memories and experiences that would be gender appropriate and conform to who I am, then almost certainly, yes. That sounds a bit intellectually dishonest to myself, but I'd still take the opportunity. If they were just gone and I only existed as myself (in terms of gender) after 18 then no. I still like who I am, and the insight I gained in to men was at least really helpful so it depends on exactly waht I'd be left with. But to simply answer the question, yes I've defiantely considered what it'd be like, but mostly with a wish that things could have been different.
On March 28 2012 20:18 Dark.Carnival wrote:
Grats on 1000 :D Glad I read this after that miss universe thread. I'm trans as well so those threads are always so depressing ;_; I'm glad you're open and willing to educate people on this site, maybe those types of threads can be more positive instead of the shitfest they end up being if some of the ignorance is lifted.
Thank you, on both counts. I have to admit I just decided not to read through that particular thread once I realised what it was about because I worried about what the content of the replies would be.
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lyerbeth,
Reading this was really inspiring. One of my very close family members(not going to say how related due to privacy issues relating to employer) is transgender, and has not yet made the transition. She(I use "she" because she identifies as female) is currently in a position where her admittance or revelation of transgender sentiments would get her immediately fired(read:discharged). She also must stay at her job for another year, despite being a veteran. By now, you can probably guess who her employer is.
It's been a long and difficult journey for her. Ever since she was seven, she identified as female, but her parents tried to suppress it and did not listen to their family doctor's advice on transitions. In order to relieve the pressure she felt, she cut herself and inflicted pain. And then she made the decision, on last time, to enroll in a college. The college that trained "employees" for her future "employer". She had the appearance of a very fit man after four years went by and she graduated, but still identified as female.
In a year, she can leave her job. She'll then make the transition, and hopefully live her life the way she always wanted to live it.
Thank you for your story, lyerbeth.
Also: congrats on 1K, nice to see I'm not the only one on TL with a lurker icon.
Edit: While I am only a freshman in highschool, I can perhaps help a bit with the financial aspect. In the case of my relative, she attended a college that paid her, and saved almost all of it except on her boss computer and games. She will also be getting money from her parents, who have done a 180 on their opinion of transgender people. When I found out about it about five months ago, I also did a 180. Funny how fate works. Anyways, she is getting a lot of money from her family, have you tried your own?
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Congrats on the 1K posts.
I'm really glad you felt comfortable making a post like this, and that you spoke up against "erbs".
Good luck with getting together the money you need.
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Grats on 1k!
Every time I see one of your posts, I smile a little, another lurker recognising one of their own :D
You should come on IRC more
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Germany767 Posts
Gratz!
Keep it up, 10k up next
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I really appreciate your blog! Insightful and kinda cool. Whatever makes you happy, I'd say. Sorry, I'm from 'Merica, so I say 'erbs. We drop all kinds of letters over here.
If you could answer one question; it's about the "Well, you'll never be a real woman" paragraph. I'm confused because I don't quite know what you think a "woman" is after reading the paragraph. You seem to run through everything that could define a woman and refuse them as possible definitions of a woman, and I'm left confused. Do you just have to feel like a woman to be a woman? Or do you really think you need the organs and the body parts to be a woman? Or are you just insulted that someone is trying to define what a woman is?
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On April 04 2012 09:08 Liquid`TLO wrote:Gratz! Keep it up, 10k up next
Might not be Sheth but TLO is just as good! You attracted greatness Iyerbeth! :D
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More power to you, Iyerbeth! The clueless need to be educated.
Gratz on 1k posts and I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. From what recent cases I heard and read about in Germany, medical insurance eventually covered the costs for sex re-assignment surgery when GID (ICD-10 F64) was diagnosed and re-affirmed by an independent medical institution.
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Congratulations, and thanks for taking the time to share something so personal with the rest of us. I'm glad TL is a place where you feel like you can represent yourself honestly, that and the presence of brave people like you make me proud to be part of the community.
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I'm really glad you were in the Transgendered thread before I got there, you managed to say things in a way that wasn't mean and inflammatory to the people who were being...less than pleasant. That made it easier for me not to be inflammatory in response and the thread has continued to evolve into a learning experience for at least a few users. These is now at least one Transgendered person in it posting as well as yourself and it seems to be going in a decent way.
Thanks for being you.
'erbs fighting!
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I like your points on trans issues but I don't get why you're against people saying 'erb? Then again I get annoyed when people say "yoo-man" or "yooge" instead of human, huge.
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I have a question: Are there just as many trans-women (women who identify as men... Sorry don't know what the preferred term is) as trans-men? My impression is that trans-men far outweigh trans-women, but that is purely based on exposure and not statistics (can't find any). I'm curious because you would expect a fairly even divide between the two, but it seems there isn't (once again, just my impression). If that is the case, why do you think that is?
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I drop all of my "H"s and there is nothing you can do to elp me.
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Ares[Effort]
DEMACIA6550 Posts
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Wow, thank you everyone. I actually started this replying to every single new post but there's so many! As such I'll be responding to questions and stuff but I want to thank you all for your kind support.
On April 04 2012 04:22 Praetorial wrote:+ Show Spoiler [Show Full Quote] +
lyerbeth,
Reading this was really inspiring. One of my very close family members(not going to say how related due to privacy issues relating to employer) is transgender, and has not yet made the transition. She(I use "she" because she identifies as female) is currently in a position where her admittance or revelation of transgender sentiments would get her immediately fired(read:discharged). She also must stay at her job for another year, despite being a veteran. By now, you can probably guess who her employer is.
It's been a long and difficult journey for her. Ever since she was seven, she identified as female, but her parents tried to suppress it and did not listen to their family doctor's advice on transitions. In order to relieve the pressure she felt, she cut herself and inflicted pain. And then she made the decision, on last time, to enroll in a college. The college that trained "employees" for her future "employer". She had the appearance of a very fit man after four years went by and she graduated, but still identified as female.
In a year, she can leave her job. She'll then make the transition, and hopefully live her life the way she always wanted to live it.
Thank you for your story, lyerbeth. Also: congrats on 1K, nice to see I'm not the only one on TL with a lurker icon. Edit: While I am only a freshman in highschool, I can perhaps help a bit with the financial aspect. In the case of my relative, she attended a college that paid her, and saved almost all of it except on her boss computer and games. She will also be getting money from her parents, who have done a 180 on their opinion of transgender people. When I found out about it about five months ago, I also did a 180. Funny how fate works. Anyways, she is getting a lot of money from her family, have you tried your own?
Thank you for sharing your relatives story (I appreciate the difficulty in going in to detail as a rule, but I also wouldn't ask you to without her permission), and also for pointing out my Lurker icon. I hadn't noticed it, but it's pretty awesome. In the case of asking family for financial help, one side of my family is helping as much as they can, but without going in to detail aren't able to provide that level of assistance and I wouldn't dream of asking them to. They do so much for me already and have really helped me get this far. The other side would choose to not help (removed explanation as it was too depressing for this blog ).
On April 04 2012 08:12 Kerotan wrote:Grats on 1k! Every time I see one of your posts, I smile a little, another lurker recognising one of their own :D You should come on IRC more
Thank you, I really should!
On April 04 2012 09:08 Liquid`TLO wrote:Gratz! Keep it up, 10k up next
Thank you!! :D
On April 04 2012 09:56 Mauldo wrote:I really appreciate your blog! Insightful and kinda cool. Whatever makes you happy, I'd say. Sorry, I'm from 'Merica, so I say 'erbs. We drop all kinds of letters over here. If you could answer one question; it's about the "Well, you'll never be a real woman" paragraph. I'm confused because I don't quite know what you think a "woman" is after reading the paragraph. You seem to run through everything that could define a woman and refuse them as possible definitions of a woman, and I'm left confused. Do you just have to feel like a woman to be a woman? Or do you really think you need the organs and the body parts to be a woman? Or are you just insulted that someone is trying to define what a woman is?
Thanks, as to that paragraph I was trying to get across that women come in all shapes, sizes and attitudes and that really the final chice should come down to the honest view of the individual. In an ideal world, biologically at least, sex and gender would be far more simple things with everyone born happy, healthy and biologically correctly but until then I don't think any definition beyond "adult female" is fair or accurate. Those things listed can definately help to define a woman and are useful biological descriptions though of course, so I guess it'd be more fair to say it should be determined on a context basis.
On April 04 2012 10:35 Proseat wrote:
Gratz on 1k posts and I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. From what recent cases I heard and read about in Germany, medical insurance eventually covered the costs for sex re-assignment surgery when GID (ICD-10 F64) was diagnosed and re-affirmed by an independent medical institution.
Thanks, and glad to hear about that in Germany! In the UK I could access the NHS route, but without going in to detail it is not the surgery I think I need, as there are multiple versions and it might sound like I'm being picky but it's something I can only do once and I have to get it right, and I don't think the version the government will cover is right.
On April 04 2012 16:40 Cassel_Castle wrote:
I like your points on trans issues but I don't get why you're against people saying 'erb? Then again I get annoyed when people say "yoo-man" or "yooge" instead of human, huge.
It just sounds so forced when I hear it. Like people are actually correcting themselves to fit what is essentially an incorrect pronounciation.
On April 04 2012 22:19 McFeser wrote:
I drop all of my "H"s and there is nothing you can do to elp me.
I can pick them up for you!
On April 04 2012 18:28 Swede wrote:
I have a question: Are there just as many trans-women (women who identify as men... Sorry don't know what the preferred term is) as trans-men? My impression is that trans-men far outweigh trans-women, but that is purely based on exposure and not statistics (can't find any). I'm curious because you would expect a fairly even divide between the two, but it seems there isn't (once again, just my impression). If that is the case, why do you think that is?
You did get the usual terms the wrong way round (Trans women is usually used to denote a woman who started biologically male, and visa versa) but it's understandable. Anyway, to answer your question it depends on who you ask. I believe almost any person involved with a trans network will tell you there are actually more FtM's (female to male, so trans men) than MtF's, but almost every statistic you see will tell you the opposite, and of course when you see trans people on the street it will almost always be a woman.
The reasons for this are 3 fold, first and most obviously the effects of testosterone are a lot harder to mask, especially in the early stages of transitioning, so we tend to stick out a lot more especially around the rougher edges. When a trans man starts testosterone his voice will drop and he'll start growing facial hair (both very quickly), which are basically the most immediate markers that people notice, making them far harder to pick out. Also the media loves trans women, because socially, and surgically people consider it a bit weirder in general.
The second reason is statistics based on surgery tend to be based on genital surgery, which is far more common amongst trans women because of how well known it is, and that the results can be anywhere from reasonable to very successful. As a result, more people elect for the surgery currently, so that changes the numbers significantly.
Finally, the statistics based visitting dr's for treatment are skewed significantly too. I'm not going to tell people how to self medicate here (don't) but an FtM man could quite easily get everything needed to transition themselves without anyone knowing, and many do. The converse is significantly harder, though can be done. However, since you need to see a dr for 2 years before surgery, if you're not planning on surgery, MtFs are going to end up showing up far more often in statistics again.
Realistically I think the numbers are actually around about even, though if I were to answer purely on what I have experienced, trans men are actually more common.
Only in the same way al-oo-min-um is also a correct pronounciation of al-you-min-ee-um.
Thank you all once again, and as before if you have any further questions please let me know!
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Thank you for teaching me to be more tolerant. In my culture, it is very easy to hate on homosexuals/transsexuals because the nature of my culture weeds out those that are different, or special and eschews them. I have always thought that putting or imposing arbitrary standards on something as special and unique as us humans as disgusting. We are all unique, we may even be the only humans in the Universe, and when we consider all the life forms there is, you can see that each one of us is one in a trillion, or a quadrillion. Is there even a number big enough?
Edit: fixed a serious typo
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Thanks for the post! Very informative and well-written.
Two questions:
1) Do you pronounce "hour" as "hower" or "ower"? :-)
2) You are pretty emphatic about a couple of points in your post. The first is that gender roles are meaningless ("I don't conform to beliefs that boys and girls have to act in any specific way", but you also say that from a very early time, you knew you were a girl/woman. Am I wrong to think these two views represent something of a contradiction? If gender roles don't exist, what makes a person a woman or a man?
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On April 06 2012 02:30 GeorgeForeman wrote:
1) Do you pronounce "hour" as "hower" or "ower"? :-)
2) You are pretty emphatic about a couple of points in your post. The first is that gender roles are meaningless ("I don't conform to beliefs that boys and girls have to act in any specific way", but you also say that from a very early time, you knew you were a girl/woman. Am I wrong to think these two views represent something of a contradiction? If gender roles don't exist, what makes a person a woman or a man?
1: I pronounce it as "ow-er", but I also pronounce hourly, hours in the same way and so far as I'm that is the correct version which (more importantly ) doesn't annoy me. Do you pronounce hers as "ers"?
2: A question which thanks to the beauty contest thread I've actually been putting a lot of thought in to how to express, and to be honest I've found myself for the first time unable to find an answer I think covers everything properly.* I don't know if it's a limitation in language or in my use of it, but gender I'm finding is a more and more insufficient word.
Gender roles are roles applied to genders and so are of course not actually the object, "gender". I think as a free species that's an important distinction as if people were not able to act as they wished and were bound to a series of roles then we would find people far less interesting than they actually are.
When I say I realised at a young age I was a girl it was something far more fundamental than how I wanted to dress, or which toys I wanted to play with. I realised how much my body was going to change as I reached adult hood and I hated the realisation as it wasn't right. As I grew older the issues became far more obvious and far more concerning. Fundamentally I was different to the boys I was grouped with, and the situations that forced me in to were gradually more unbearable.
The reason I'm making these points is to try to express in idea's a word I can't find. There is some gender identity which I believe is available to all, but which is acutely a problem if it is not in line with your sex. The user Squarewalker said earlier today on this site a comment which I think sums it up "To cisgender people it may seem like being a certain gender doesn't have a feel to it - and yes, it's a lot like breathing in that sense I guess. Being able to breathe does not make you happy, but not being able to is suffocating."
Being a man or a woman is something which is hard to quantify, but it can not be a way of acting, of appearing or even genetics as they vary wildly from person to person of either sex. It must then be something other than that, an identity. I don't think I could define it better than "an adult male" or "an adult female", and leave it to the individual to understand to which they honestly belong. Gender roles I must leave to society.
*Edit: Also, I'm really thankful that there are people on TeamLiquid who can make these points so well that I find myself in this position at all. The level of thought which goes in to discussions from other users is something which I really love about TL when it happens.
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United Kingdom3685 Posts
Congrats on 1k and thanks for taking the time to make those long posts. The one in the Miss Universe thread was really enlightening.
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gratz on 1k. and a little question:
you mentioned your nearly non-existent qualifications. has the fact that you being trans effected your education in some kind of way? f.e. has anyone denied you access to qualifications because they knew you being trans?
btw. i'm kind of being glad that you are posting this in here. TL is just awesome
glhf!
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On April 06 2012 19:57 seenster wrote:gratz on 1k. and a little question: you mentioned your nearly non-existent qualifications. has the fact that you being trans effected your education in some kind of way? f.e. has anyone denied you access to qualifications because they knew you being trans? btw. i'm kind of being glad that you are posting this in here. TL is just awesome glhf!
No institution will deny you access in this day and age when it comes to education. If they would, the Student's Associations and Unions would be all over it, rightfully so!
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On April 06 2012 04:31 Iyerbeth wrote:Show nested quote +On April 06 2012 02:30 GeorgeForeman wrote:
1) Do you pronounce "hour" as "hower" or "ower"? :-)
2) You are pretty emphatic about a couple of points in your post. The first is that gender roles are meaningless ("I don't conform to beliefs that boys and girls have to act in any specific way", but you also say that from a very early time, you knew you were a girl/woman. Am I wrong to think these two views represent something of a contradiction? If gender roles don't exist, what makes a person a woman or a man? 1: I pronounce it as "ow-er", but I also pronounce hourly, hours in the same way and so far as I'm that is the correct version which (more importantly ) doesn't annoy me. Do you pronounce hers as "ers"? 2: A question which thanks to the beauty contest thread I've actually been putting a lot of thought in to how to express, and to be honest I've found myself for the first time unable to find an answer I think covers everything properly.* I don't know if it's a limitation in language or in my use of it, but gender I'm finding is a more and more insufficient word. Gender roles are roles applied to genders and so are of course not actually the object, "gender". I think as a free species that's an important distinction as if people were not able to act as they wished and were bound to a series of roles then we would find people far less interesting than they actually are. When I say I realised at a young age I was a girl it was something far more fundamental than how I wanted to dress, or which toys I wanted to play with. I realised how much my body was going to change as I reached adult hood and I hated the realisation as it wasn't right. As I grew older the issues became far more obvious and far more concerning. Fundamentally I was different to the boys I was grouped with, and the situations that forced me in to were gradually more unbearable. The reason I'm making these points is to try to express in idea's a word I can't find. There is some gender identity which I believe is available to all, but which is acutely a problem if it is not in line with your sex. The user Squarewalker said earlier today on this site a comment which I think sums it up "To cisgender people it may seem like being a certain gender doesn't have a feel to it - and yes, it's a lot like breathing in that sense I guess. Being able to breathe does not make you happy, but not being able to is suffocating." Being a man or a woman is something which is hard to quantify, but it can not be a way of acting, of appearing or even genetics as they vary wildly from person to person of either sex. It must then be something other than that, an identity. I don't think I could define it better than "an adult male" or "an adult female", and leave it to the individual to understand to which they honestly belong. Gender roles I must leave to society. *Edit: Also, I'm really thankful that there are people on TeamLiquid who can make these points so well that I find myself in this position at all. The level of thought which goes in to discussions from other users is something which I really love about TL when it happens.
Hmm. Would you agree with the statement that gender roles are a purely social construct while gender is something innate to an individual? (Both of these, of course, being divorced from sex, which is biological/genetic.) If so, that's an interesting perspective. I've heard others express the opinion that gender is something we as a society enforce on eachother, but your perspective seems quite different given how unequivocally you identify as a woman.
From this perspective, it would make perfect sense for a person with a male body but female gender identification to be a "tom boy". I'm not sure I'd considered that possibility prior to your post. ^_^
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You're like a real life, human transformers kinda xD
Keep doing your thang.
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Not making fun, but I've always felt I was something else than a normal human sine a child, something with wings. Maybe that's why I'm so confused most of the time.
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On April 07 2012 00:17 GeorgeForeman wrote:Show nested quote +On April 06 2012 04:31 Iyerbeth wrote:On April 06 2012 02:30 GeorgeForeman wrote:
1) Do you pronounce "hour" as "hower" or "ower"? :-)
2) You are pretty emphatic about a couple of points in your post. The first is that gender roles are meaningless ("I don't conform to beliefs that boys and girls have to act in any specific way", but you also say that from a very early time, you knew you were a girl/woman. Am I wrong to think these two views represent something of a contradiction? If gender roles don't exist, what makes a person a woman or a man? 1: I pronounce it as "ow-er", but I also pronounce hourly, hours in the same way and so far as I'm that is the correct version which (more importantly ) doesn't annoy me. Do you pronounce hers as "ers"? 2: A question which thanks to the beauty contest thread I've actually been putting a lot of thought in to how to express, and to be honest I've found myself for the first time unable to find an answer I think covers everything properly.* I don't know if it's a limitation in language or in my use of it, but gender I'm finding is a more and more insufficient word. Gender roles are roles applied to genders and so are of course not actually the object, "gender". I think as a free species that's an important distinction as if people were not able to act as they wished and were bound to a series of roles then we would find people far less interesting than they actually are. When I say I realised at a young age I was a girl it was something far more fundamental than how I wanted to dress, or which toys I wanted to play with. I realised how much my body was going to change as I reached adult hood and I hated the realisation as it wasn't right. As I grew older the issues became far more obvious and far more concerning. Fundamentally I was different to the boys I was grouped with, and the situations that forced me in to were gradually more unbearable. The reason I'm making these points is to try to express in idea's a word I can't find. There is some gender identity which I believe is available to all, but which is acutely a problem if it is not in line with your sex. The user Squarewalker said earlier today on this site a comment which I think sums it up "To cisgender people it may seem like being a certain gender doesn't have a feel to it - and yes, it's a lot like breathing in that sense I guess. Being able to breathe does not make you happy, but not being able to is suffocating." Being a man or a woman is something which is hard to quantify, but it can not be a way of acting, of appearing or even genetics as they vary wildly from person to person of either sex. It must then be something other than that, an identity. I don't think I could define it better than "an adult male" or "an adult female", and leave it to the individual to understand to which they honestly belong. Gender roles I must leave to society. *Edit: Also, I'm really thankful that there are people on TeamLiquid who can make these points so well that I find myself in this position at all. The level of thought which goes in to discussions from other users is something which I really love about TL when it happens. Hmm. Would you agree with the statement that gender roles are a purely social construct while gender is something innate to an individual? (Both of these, of course, being divorced from sex, which is biological/genetic.) If so, that's an interesting perspective. I've heard others express the opinion that gender is something we as a society enforce on eachother, but your perspective seems quite different given how unequivocally you identify as a woman.
I think I'd be more or less ok with that description yes, except I'd say I think gender roles are almost entirely a social construct as opposed to purely. I don't think I'd have any basis to say there was definately no hormonal or other biological basis to any aspect of gender roles.
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Good read, one of the better blogs I've seen lately, now to just re-teach myself to say herb instead of erb TT.
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I used to say HERB. But everyone my entire childhood corrected me, and told be it's ERB. Now if you say HERB everyone thinks you're an idiot! It turns out that everyone else is an idiot?
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EPT
