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The Ghetto Cook Episode XXI:
Bakin' with Bacon
Cross-posted from Food in Mind
Introduction
Today TGC reaches drinking age! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....
This installment is dedicated to bacon. There will probably be more installments in the future also dedicated to bacon, but this is the first. Vegetarians, tree huggers, vegans, and practicing Muslims: cover your eyes, hold your noses, lock your doors, and pucker up your assholes, because you know that sweet, sweet scent of savory smoked pork will rape you senseless. The only thing better than lust and gluttony is the lust of gluttony.
There are three items in all, listed in order of difficulty. None of them are particularly difficult though, so be bold!
Stage 1: The Elvis Sandwich
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/OoHOW.jpg)
He's the King in a country that shunned monarchy. Go figure.
Ingredients:
1 ripe banana
3-6 strips of bacon*
peanut butter
2 slices bread
*3 strips of bacon for single layer, 6 for double layer of bacon. You may also wish to consider a teaspoon of honey if you are going for double layer.
Elvis has a sandwich named after him? Fuck yeah. It's reputedly his favorite sandwich, according to his mother no less. Making it is easy.
Fry up your bacon strips until they are crispy. Slather one slice of bread with peanut butter on one side; top with banana slices. Place crispy bacon strips on top of the bananas. The sweetness of bananas are a nice balance to a single layer of bacon. However, if you wish to use double the bacon, I recommend drizzling a teaspoon of honey over the bacon. Cover with second slice of bread, and toast both sides of the sandwich in a pan until golden brown. Slice (or not) depending on preference and eat.
Stage 2: Yorkshire Pudding
NOTE: Yorkshire Pudding should be served as soon as possible and consumed within 30 minutes of production. Take this into account when timing your cooking.
What do you do with all the rendered bacon grease from frying your bacon? Throw it away? NO! Of course not. You'd find other ways to clog your arteries with it. Enter Yorkshire pudding. I have no idea where Yorkshire is, but their pudding is pretty decent. Recipe adapted from here with additional research and testing.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/y4JJc.jpg)
Yorkshire, it's New York except for hobbits.
Ingredients:
3/4 cups milk
3/4 cups all-purpose flour
3 eggs
1 tsp salt
1/4 cup bacon grease (Most likely less)
1 muffin/cupcake mold
Yorkshire pudding is essentially equal parts milk and flour with eggs and a little salt, fried in an oven. The ingredients are simple, so the key is in the execution.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/qmJ8h.jpg)
If you're thinking you'll never eat this because it's unhealthy, it's probably time to get off your ass and go for a run.
Preheat your oven to 425F-450F. Stick your empty muffin mold into the oven. The temperature varies depending on your oven, so experiment with both settings.
Measure out your flour and crack two eggs over it. Mix together to form a wet dough. Crack the third egg and mix some more to form a thick batter. Add a teaspoon of salt. Dump in all of your milk to create a very thin batter.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/c3tlQ.jpg)
I used skim milk because I'm so health conscious!
Once your oven has reached its target temperature, remove the hot muffin mold and pour a thin layer of bacon grease into each mold. Many recipes tell you to pour as much as 1 cm of oil into each mold, but I find that you do not need nearly as much oil. Too much oil will result in lakes of grease within your puddings.
Return the mold to the oven until the oil is very hot, about 20-30 seconds. Then take the mold back out again, and pour about 4 tablespoons of batter into each mold. Don't fill the mold entirely! This pudding expands faster than a TvT player who's going bio against someone going mech.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/pn1kh.jpg)
Is there anything that isn't called a pudding by the Brits? Christmas pudding, vanilla pudding, bread pudding, Yorkshire pudding, all of these things are nothing alike one another
Bake the puddings for about 15 minutes, or until golden brown. Serve immediately.
Stage 3: Breakfast Pizza
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/YcQBW.jpg)
Ate this for lunch the other day. By white middle class standards I'm a rebel.
Dough (for ~15 inch pie)*
2 cups all-purpose flour
1.5 tsp yeast
1.5 tsp salt
2/3 cup warm water**
1/2 tbsp sugar
Topping
2 eggs, scrambled
5 strips of crispy bacon, cut into small pieces
1/2 cups shredded cheese***
1/3 medium onion, diced and either sauteed or caramelized
thin slices of tomato (optional)
*You can use store-bought dough, but where's the fun in that?
**Water should be between 110F and 118F (~45C to 48C) for optimal yeast activation. It can be cooler, but do not go over this temperature lest you kill the yeast cells.
***Mozzarella is optimal, but I only had cheddar. It still works. A combination of both is also super.
Begin with the dough. Measure out 1/3 cups of warm water, yeast, sugar, and 1/2 cups of flour into a container. Loosely cover the container and let sit in a warm area for about 20 minutes. This will proof the yeast to make sure that it works; you should see pockmarks where air bubbles have surfaced in the mixture.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/YACSW.jpg)
Yeast infections are so delicious
Dump your remaining flour and water into this mixture as well as the salt. Mix together a bit, and get your hands into the mixture until all the water is absorbed and you have a dough. Knead this dough for about 8-10 minutes on a floured surface until it is smooth and elastic. Pour about a tablespoon of oil into a pot. Roll your ball of dough around in the pot to cover it with oil. Cover the pot and let it sit somewhere warm for about two hours.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/WyKlE.jpg)
It's so shiny! Stick it into a socketed weapon to confer bonus damage against the undead
Meanwhile, get started on a filling. Shred your cheese, chop your onions and bacon, scramble your eggs. For the bacon, I prefer cutting it first before frying; some people recommend doing this the other way around.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/sVYuX.jpg)
Don't be a dumbass like me: try to buy bacon as lean as possible so your pieces don't shrivel up once the fat is rendered out
For the onions, I was going to caramelize them but decided against it since caramelizing onions take such a long time. Feel free to use caramelized onions if you happen to have some on hand or are already going to make a large batch.
For the eggs, well, here's a picture of how mine turned out:
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/4CWLA.jpg)
The black specks are the dried ground pieces of a rare dung beetle species found in India. They're optional.
Let all the ingredients cool once you have cooked them. Once cooled, assemble everything except for the tomato slices in a dish. Mix evenly.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/erhpm.jpg)
If you got to this step but became too lazy to carry on for whatever reason, these things are all great between toast or inside a breakfast burrito.
When your dough is ready, gently press some of the air out of it and remove it from the pot.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/J0ecq.jpg)
IT'S BIGFOOT
Pre-heat your oven to 500F, or as high as most ovens will go. It'll take a while.
Pat the dough into the desired shape of your pie. Resist the urge to play around with the dough too much. It's wonderfully elastic, but you can still run the risk of having it become too thin in certain areas, or worse, punching a hole through the dough.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/tg8FG.jpg)
Yo dawg, I heard you like toppings so I made two toppings so you could top your topping while you're topping your pizza
Place the dough onto your baking sheet/pie pan/stone slab and top with your bacon/cheese/onion/egg mixture. Place the tomato slices on top of your topping. Bake for 8-10 minutes, or until cheese is melted and the crust is golden.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/emrE8.jpg)
It certainly beats your tofurkey omelet made with egg whites from a carton and your soylent green side salad. Real men eat real food.
Slice and serve however you like.
Conclusion
Mmmm, bacon. I came, I cooked, and I ate. Its possibilities are limitless, its power level, over nine thousand. Sure, you could fry them and eat them straight up, but why do that when you can combine them with so many other tasty things? If you love bacon, you owe it to yourself to diversify your bacon consuming methods.
Thus ends what is probably only the first of many bacon entries to come. Questions and comments are welcome as always. If you wish to check out past entries of The Ghetto Cook, they have all been transferred over to my main food blog, Food in Mind.
Additionally, I have finally put up a banner for my blog! It's more or less finalized for now. Please give your feedback on what you think about it, if it should look more professional, etc.
Poll: Do you like my blog's title banner?Yes (15) 88% No (Please state why) (2) 12% 17 total votes Your vote: Do you like my blog's title banner? (Vote): Yes
(Vote): No (Please state why)
Much thanks! Until next time, don't enter a gunfight with a knife.
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I would've never thought to put bacon, banana and peanut butter together, much less in a sandwich. May have to try that some time.
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I know how to make most the awesome pizzas, and our ways differ o master, but the breakfast topping could prove fatal. Tomorrow pizza, why not. Thanks for the idea :D
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Well, looks like I'm having bacon for dinner tonight :S
Elvis sandwich looks delicious as is, but I could still see it tasting better with more things added.
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On February 26 2012 09:43 Grobyc wrote:
Well, looks like I'm having bacon for dinner tonight :S
Elvis sandwich looks delicious as is, but I could still see it tasting better with more things added.
Yeah. I personally prefer peanut butter, banana, and chocolate chips, but this is the authentic recipe for Elvis sandwich. I didn't come up with it.
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My family eats turkey bacon. Is there anything I can do to rectify this horror?
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This shit looks great, but as is the problem with all the cooking and recipes is that it takes more than 5 minutes of my attention for any task, I give up easily and end up eating something like beef jerky and bread at the end of the day, or calling a delivery service.
I hate spending time on preparing food more than anything in the world.
Knead this dough for about 8-10 minutes on a floured surface until it is smooth and elastic.
Woah woah. My whole dinner lasts 8 minutes. And this is just for the dough?
I love food blogs and recipes. I really do. But personally, I will never bother enough with something that takes more than 5 minutes to prepare.
For me, the ideal recipe is:
1. Take all your ingredients.
2. Put them in a blender
3. Mix and drink.
That or just don't have dinner.
5/5 for someone who has the willpower to cook food.
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On February 26 2012 10:17 Froadac wrote:
My family eats turkey bacon. Is there anything I can do to rectify this horror?
There's not much you can do honestly. In modern times "eating healthy" has become synonymous with buying ultra-processed or otherwise sub-par tasting substitutions for real foods. Everybody wants to eat what they want, not exercise, and still not become obese.
Buy your own bacon when you move out.
On February 26 2012 10:32 Sadistx wrote:This shit looks great, but as is the problem with all the cooking and recipes is that it takes more than 5 minutes of my attention for any task, I give up easily and end up eating something like beef jerky and bread at the end of the day, or calling a delivery service. I hate spending time on preparing food more than anything in the world. Show nested quote +Knead this dough for about 8-10 minutes on a floured surface until it is smooth and elastic. Woah woah. My whole dinner lasts 8 minutes. And this is just for the dough? I love food blogs and recipes. I really do. But personally, I will never bother enough with something that takes more than 5 minutes to prepare. For me, the ideal recipe is: 1. Take all your ingredients. 2. Put them in a blender 3. Mix and drink. That or just don't have dinner. 5/5 for someone who has the willpower to cook food.
You and I are opposites it looks like. I love food, handling ingredients, modifying recipes, etc. There are very few things that take only five minute to make, it'll be an interesting challenge for a future installment for sure.
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Bacon is my absolute favourite ingredient for cooking. I put that shit on EVERYTHING.
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Profound advice Sir Bacon.
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On February 26 2012 10:47 Newbistic wrote:Show nested quote +On February 26 2012 10:17 Froadac wrote:
My family eats turkey bacon. Is there anything I can do to rectify this horror? There's not much you can do honestly. In modern times "eating healthy" has become synonymous with buying ultra-processed or otherwise sub-par tasting substitutions for real foods. Everybody wants to eat what they want, not exercise, and still not become obese. Buy your own bacon when you move out. Show nested quote +On February 26 2012 10:32 Sadistx wrote:This shit looks great, but as is the problem with all the cooking and recipes is that it takes more than 5 minutes of my attention for any task, I give up easily and end up eating something like beef jerky and bread at the end of the day, or calling a delivery service. I hate spending time on preparing food more than anything in the world. Knead this dough for about 8-10 minutes on a floured surface until it is smooth and elastic. Woah woah. My whole dinner lasts 8 minutes. And this is just for the dough? I love food blogs and recipes. I really do. But personally, I will never bother enough with something that takes more than 5 minutes to prepare. For me, the ideal recipe is: 1. Take all your ingredients. 2. Put them in a blender 3. Mix and drink. That or just don't have dinner. 5/5 for someone who has the willpower to cook food. You and I are opposites it looks like. I love food, handling ingredients, modifying recipes, etc. There are very few things that take only five minute to make, it'll be an interesting challenge for a future installment for sure.
Do you have a recipe for a bacon smoothie?
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On February 26 2012 14:33 Sadistx wrote:Show nested quote +On February 26 2012 10:47 Newbistic wrote:On February 26 2012 10:17 Froadac wrote:
My family eats turkey bacon. Is there anything I can do to rectify this horror? There's not much you can do honestly. In modern times "eating healthy" has become synonymous with buying ultra-processed or otherwise sub-par tasting substitutions for real foods. Everybody wants to eat what they want, not exercise, and still not become obese. Buy your own bacon when you move out. On February 26 2012 10:32 Sadistx wrote:This shit looks great, but as is the problem with all the cooking and recipes is that it takes more than 5 minutes of my attention for any task, I give up easily and end up eating something like beef jerky and bread at the end of the day, or calling a delivery service. I hate spending time on preparing food more than anything in the world. Knead this dough for about 8-10 minutes on a floured surface until it is smooth and elastic. Woah woah. My whole dinner lasts 8 minutes. And this is just for the dough? I love food blogs and recipes. I really do. But personally, I will never bother enough with something that takes more than 5 minutes to prepare. For me, the ideal recipe is: 1. Take all your ingredients. 2. Put them in a blender 3. Mix and drink. That or just don't have dinner. 5/5 for someone who has the willpower to cook food. You and I are opposites it looks like. I love food, handling ingredients, modifying recipes, etc. There are very few things that take only five minute to make, it'll be an interesting challenge for a future installment for sure. Do you have a recipe for a bacon smoothie?
I do not. I do, however have a recipe for bacon pancakes XD
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You need a catch phrase so when i see you on Food Network i will know it is you.
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On February 26 2012 14:33 Sadistx wrote:Show nested quote +On February 26 2012 10:47 Newbistic wrote:On February 26 2012 10:17 Froadac wrote:
My family eats turkey bacon. Is there anything I can do to rectify this horror? There's not much you can do honestly. In modern times "eating healthy" has become synonymous with buying ultra-processed or otherwise sub-par tasting substitutions for real foods. Everybody wants to eat what they want, not exercise, and still not become obese. Buy your own bacon when you move out. On February 26 2012 10:32 Sadistx wrote:This shit looks great, but as is the problem with all the cooking and recipes is that it takes more than 5 minutes of my attention for any task, I give up easily and end up eating something like beef jerky and bread at the end of the day, or calling a delivery service. I hate spending time on preparing food more than anything in the world. Knead this dough for about 8-10 minutes on a floured surface until it is smooth and elastic. Woah woah. My whole dinner lasts 8 minutes. And this is just for the dough? I love food blogs and recipes. I really do. But personally, I will never bother enough with something that takes more than 5 minutes to prepare. For me, the ideal recipe is: 1. Take all your ingredients. 2. Put them in a blender 3. Mix and drink. That or just don't have dinner. 5/5 for someone who has the willpower to cook food. You and I are opposites it looks like. I love food, handling ingredients, modifying recipes, etc. There are very few things that take only five minute to make, it'll be an interesting challenge for a future installment for sure. Do you have a recipe for a bacon smoothie?
Bacon smoothie is surely treading into dangerous territory >_>
I confess I don't have a recipe for bacon smoothie. Bacon is half about the taste and half about the texture, blending bacon would ruin half of it.
I do hypothesize that bits of candied bacon wouldn't be so bad on an intense-tasting sorbet, something like tomato/cranberry/lemon.
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what the hell man  You really need to write how much time it takes to make the food aswell. i just started off a pizza dough only to read that it needs to sit in a pot for 2 hours on top of the first 20 minutes?
Edit: I just tossed my dough and made breakfast pizza on a scones dough instead  IM HUNGRY!! I used your topping, im gonna show you a pic 
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/h7qTA.jpg)
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On February 26 2012 22:40 Starparty wrote:what the hell man You really need to write how much time it takes to make the food aswell. i just started off a pizza dough only to read that it needs to sit in a pot for 2 hours on top of the first 20 minutes? Edit: I just tossed my dough and made breakfast pizza on a scones dough instead IM HUNGRY!! I used your topping, im gonna show you a pic + Show Spoiler +
Duly noted. But you should probably read through the entire recipe before starting to avoid these types of surprises >_>
If you don't have time to make the dough, you can substitute with baguettes, either sliced into rounds or sliced lengthwise, as the crust.
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On February 26 2012 23:48 Newbistic wrote:Show nested quote +On February 26 2012 22:40 Starparty wrote:what the hell man You really need to write how much time it takes to make the food aswell. i just started off a pizza dough only to read that it needs to sit in a pot for 2 hours on top of the first 20 minutes? Edit: I just tossed my dough and made breakfast pizza on a scones dough instead IM HUNGRY!! I used your topping, im gonna show you a pic + Show Spoiler + Duly noted. But you should probably read through the entire recipe before starting to avoid these types of surprises >_> If you don't have time to make the dough, you can substitute with baguettes, either sliced into rounds or sliced lengthwise, as the crust.
politicians also should read through all the bills they vote on but thats unfortunatelly not they way things work
However, since it was a breakfast pizza with egg and bacon on it, scones dough actually worked better than just as a half decent substitute
Also, one more suggestion. Not that people can't do it themselves but if youre feeling serviceminded, try converting as many numbers you can (farenheit -> celcius, cup measurements etc) I had to guess on some, but i guess it turned out fine anyway
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Korea (South)1897 Posts
I love this blog lol. Great work! Elvis here I come!
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EPT
