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How to be friends with girls when you have a gf? - Page 2

Blogs > iamahydralisk
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phosphorylation
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States2935 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-15 02:24:29
February 15 2012 02:23 GMT
#21
hey tl, i am a pimp with a girlfriend but i also have bunch of other female friends
and most of them want mah dick


oh and all the guys around me (except for one maybe) are losers and cannot ever hope to bang these chicks who want mah dick. suckass

is essentially what you are saying
Buy prints of my photographs at Redbubble -> http://www.redbubble.com/people/shoenberg3
iamahydralisk
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States813 Posts
February 15 2012 02:24 GMT
#22
On February 15 2012 11:23 phosphorylation wrote:
hey tl, i am a pimp with a girlfriend but i also have bunch of other female friends
and most of them want mah dick


is essentially your OP

I'm legit not trying to brag. It's hard to deal with because I'm constantly having mental battles when I'm hanging out with my friend girls.
"well if youre looking for long term, go safe, if you expect it to end either way, go risky. wow. just like sc2" - friend of mine when I asked him which girl to pick
phosphorylation
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States2935 Posts
February 15 2012 02:26 GMT
#23
well, maybe you aren't. but minus the thing about the pimp and suckass, what i wrote is essentially what you wrote, just worded differently.

i thought it was an interesting observation
Buy prints of my photographs at Redbubble -> http://www.redbubble.com/people/shoenberg3
Liquid`Drone
Profile Joined September 2002
Norway28738 Posts
February 15 2012 02:30 GMT
#24
On February 15 2012 11:17 mordk wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 15 2012 10:58 Liquid`Drone wrote:
I disagree with the notion that you should avoid letting feelings develop. Imo, a crush without a possible outlet, is an awesome foundation for a friendship. Crushes don't last forever, but you end up looking at the person from the nicest possible angle. Sure, sometimes you'll be a little torn, but imo, the best way to live life isn't trying to find the path of least resistance. Don't be afraid to love because you're afraid to be hurt.

I... half agree with you. I'd completely agree with you if we were talking about someone who isn't in a relationship, but since the OP has a girlfriend, letting feelings develop shows how little respect you have for your current relationship.

If you're single, sure, you might as well let it happen, but know that it is a risk, and it could potentially destroy your friendship.


how do you avoid letting feelings develop? how can I interact with a person while fully expressing myself emotionally (imo - important to develop a valuable friendship)? I mean, it's not like you meet someone and then you think "okay, I will only like this person to 60% of the extent I can like this person to avoid possibly being hurt or hurting someone in the future." Or, if you do, then you've just.. limited the scope of a future friendship from the get-go. what rather happens is that like, you interact normally with someone, and sometimes feelings develop. Then, if you're in a relationship, you don't act on them (which can feel "tough"), and if you're not, maybe you do. If being in a relationship means that you just can't make friends from the opposite sex, that's a terrible deal imo.
Moderator
phosphorylation
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States2935 Posts
February 15 2012 02:38 GMT
#25
On the subject itself, I think it doesn't speak too well of your relationship when you are having these doubts. If you genuinely cared about your relationship with your gf, you would try hard to avoid getting so easily tempted by other girls in the first place. Being so liberal with opposite-sex friendships when you are already involved in a relationship is a slippery slope, I tell ya.

How old are you btw?
Buy prints of my photographs at Redbubble -> http://www.redbubble.com/people/shoenberg3
rel
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Guam3521 Posts
February 15 2012 02:58 GMT
#26
I love you eri.
I'll tank push my way into her heart. ☮♥&$!
Liquid`Drone
Profile Joined September 2002
Norway28738 Posts
February 15 2012 03:02 GMT
#27
On February 15 2012 11:58 rel wrote:
I love you eri.


r u a girl cuz I can't reciprocate your feeling if u r
Moderator
rel
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Guam3521 Posts
February 15 2012 03:05 GMT
#28
I'm a girl if you want me to be. Oh wait, was that what a girl would say???
I'll tank push my way into her heart. ☮♥&$!
Waxangel
Profile Blog Joined September 2002
United States33542 Posts
February 15 2012 03:24 GMT
#29
no surprise that drone, the godless hippy, would take such a position
AdministratorHey HP can you redo everything youve ever done because i have a small complaint?
Zlasher
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States9129 Posts
February 15 2012 03:27 GMT
#30
So you have mutual attractiion with girls that are right by you, yet you're dating a girl 2 hours away? I mean if theres mutual attraction witha multiple amount of girlsthen you already have a problem don't you?
Follow me: www.twitter.com/zlasher
mordk
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Chile8385 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-15 03:37:39
February 15 2012 03:29 GMT
#31
On February 15 2012 11:30 Liquid`Drone wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 15 2012 11:17 mordk wrote:
On February 15 2012 10:58 Liquid`Drone wrote:
I disagree with the notion that you should avoid letting feelings develop. Imo, a crush without a possible outlet, is an awesome foundation for a friendship. Crushes don't last forever, but you end up looking at the person from the nicest possible angle. Sure, sometimes you'll be a little torn, but imo, the best way to live life isn't trying to find the path of least resistance. Don't be afraid to love because you're afraid to be hurt.

I... half agree with you. I'd completely agree with you if we were talking about someone who isn't in a relationship, but since the OP has a girlfriend, letting feelings develop shows how little respect you have for your current relationship.

If you're single, sure, you might as well let it happen, but know that it is a risk, and it could potentially destroy your friendship.


how do you avoid letting feelings develop? how can I interact with a person while fully expressing myself emotionally (imo - important to develop a valuable friendship)? I mean, it's not like you meet someone and then you think "okay, I will only like this person to 60% of the extent I can like this person to avoid possibly being hurt or hurting someone in the future." Or, if you do, then you've just.. limited the scope of a future friendship from the get-go. what rather happens is that like, you interact normally with someone, and sometimes feelings develop. Then, if you're in a relationship, you don't act on them (which can feel "tough"), and if you're not, maybe you do. If being in a relationship means that you just can't make friends from the opposite sex, that's a terrible deal imo.

Of course you can make a friend from a different gender while you're in a relationship, but letting "serious" feelings develop when you know it's happening is already acting on it to some extent. When you notice you're having feelings for a different person you should back off a bit, let it cool down, then go on with your friendship as normal.

Unless you blindly and suddenly fall in love with another person, you can always manage your feelings for someone, you need to remember that when you're in a relationship it isn't just about you anymore, it's about the partnership that you form with your couple, and that is something you must protect. You can't let yourself go and just let yourself feel stuff and say "oh but I won't stop this for fear of pain", because it's not only about you, there's someone else involved.

I agree you shouldn't stop yourself if you're single, and no one besides you and your friend can suffer the consequences. When you have a significant other you supposedly care for, and a relationship you're supposedly trying to nurture and support, it's wrong and disrespectful to expose it to this type of damage. If you can't be "just friends" with your friend, and you're risking your relationship, you either need to break up, or not be friends at all with this person, since you can't, at the very least you should make and respect clear boundaries with that person.

This is completely different from being flirtatious by nature, being flirtatious is completely unrelated to actually having feelings for someone.
Liquid`Drone
Profile Joined September 2002
Norway28738 Posts
February 15 2012 03:37 GMT
#32
well ok, that sounds pretty similar to what I feel - e.g. act normally and if feelings develop then just, don't act on them, and after a while, you can expect them to cool down a bit. I'm just saying that, I will meet people with a smile, I'll compliment girls, and I'll appreciate compliments given to me by other girls. and then if I feel like my feelings for someone is growing beyond what's managable, then I should avoid masturbating to their facebook pictures or actively trying to end up in situations with them where we're drunk and alone together. but I don't think I should be cautious pre-attraction.
Moderator
iamahydralisk
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States813 Posts
February 15 2012 03:48 GMT
#33
On February 15 2012 11:26 phosphorylation wrote:
well, maybe you aren't. but minus the thing about the pimp and suckass, what i wrote is essentially what you wrote, just worded differently.

i thought it was an interesting observation

never said anything bad about my friends dude. I said most of them are either taken or happy being single. only a few are the forever alone type.
"well if youre looking for long term, go safe, if you expect it to end either way, go risky. wow. just like sc2" - friend of mine when I asked him which girl to pick
iamahydralisk
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States813 Posts
February 15 2012 03:55 GMT
#34
On February 15 2012 11:38 phosphorylation wrote:
On the subject itself, I think it doesn't speak too well of your relationship when you are having these doubts. If you genuinely cared about your relationship with your gf, you would try hard to avoid getting so easily tempted by other girls in the first place. Being so liberal with opposite-sex friendships when you are already involved in a relationship is a slippery slope, I tell ya.

How old are you btw?

also, I never said I was doubting my current relationship. I'm happy with it, but I don't think there's any way to avoid developing slight feelings for other people.
"well if youre looking for long term, go safe, if you expect it to end either way, go risky. wow. just like sc2" - friend of mine when I asked him which girl to pick
Corsica
Profile Joined February 2011
Ukraine1854 Posts
February 15 2012 06:42 GMT
#35
you can either commit suicide or be silent with them...my experience, selfish bitch lol
Yenticha
Profile Joined July 2010
257 Posts
February 15 2012 08:14 GMT
#36
You could also have an "open" relationship? Like, keep the relationship as it is, except you and your current gf agree that you can have sex with other partners. That works for some of my friends (wouldn't work for everybody though).
Corsica
Profile Joined February 2011
Ukraine1854 Posts
February 15 2012 09:18 GMT
#37
On February 15 2012 17:14 Yenticha wrote:
You could also have an "open" relationship? Like, keep the relationship as it is, except you and your current gf agree that you can have sex with other partners. That works for some of my friends (wouldn't work for everybody though).


Dude where you live ? somewhere in Asia? Which mysticals creatures your friends date?
FractalsOnFire
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Australia1756 Posts
February 15 2012 12:29 GMT
#38
Oh so you and concert girl (from what i remember in ILK's thread) are still going out? If i remember correctly weren't you guys having issues? What happened there? Haven't seen any updates in that thread so...
Lemonayd
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States745 Posts
February 15 2012 13:16 GMT
#39
On February 15 2012 10:54 Dante08 wrote:
This blog reminds me of this video



Imo its possible to be just friends but you got to have self control and know when to draw the line. Most importantly, don't let feelings develop.


that video was entertaining xD
son1dow
Profile Joined May 2009
Lithuania322 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-15 13:29:32
February 15 2012 13:29 GMT
#40
Whatever you do, do not spit on anybody's face.
Play more Quake.
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