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Marriage Traditions

Blogs > Beavo
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Beavo
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Canada293 Posts
February 14 2012 02:20 GMT
#1
Your little Beavo is going to propose to my long term girl friend. Somehow I have tricked a lovely girl like her into loving me. Even mean old beavo has a heart who knew. Starcraft 2 fan, anime fan, cosplay fan loves all RPGs and every other lovely quality you could possibly think of. I think she is pretty much perfect.

[image loading]
[image loading]
[image loading]

Shes berry beautiful :D

But I had a question, I am generally very old school and romantic, but do people still ask a fathers permission to marry his daughter? I have not heard of any one doing this in a long time, what is your take on this?

Frankly her dad scares the shit out of me

****
No one remembers second place
ExceeD_DreaM
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada500 Posts
February 14 2012 02:28 GMT
#2
Congrats on your upcoming marriage! Wish you the very best!

About asking parents... I thought it was just Asian cultures who do that... but I guess its in western culture too? Meet the Fockers come to my mind... lol.

I don't think you need to, nowadays, i see people propose to the future spouse and thats about it.
Anyway, good luck!
Dalguno
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States2446 Posts
February 14 2012 02:34 GMT
#3
In my opinion, it's the classy way to go. I can't really say whether it's something you should do or not do, because I'm not sure either, and wonder myself. I have a friend whose two sisters both got married about three years ago, and both of her brothers-in-law asked her father before proposing.

Cute girl btw
"I'm gonna keep making drones cause I'm a baller, and ballers make drones." -Snute
klmklm17
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada85 Posts
February 14 2012 02:35 GMT
#4
I know that I would always the father but that is because I am also old school in that regard. I know that when my brother in-law married my sister he asked my father before hand.

I think its a good gesture that shows you care about approval and want to fit into the family. Maybe the father doesnt care about it but if he does and you dont ask..well thats just one more thing you might not want to deal with in the future
the extent of all evil is the limit of all good
Mobius_1
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
United Kingdom2763 Posts
February 14 2012 02:38 GMT
#5
It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
Starleague Forever. RIP KT Violet~
Spicy_Curry
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States10573 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-14 02:39:39
February 14 2012 02:38 GMT
#6
Take her dad out to a dinner and discuss it with him. Chances are that he will agree if he thinks that his daughter likes you.

gl teamliquid is behind you 100%
High Risk Low Reward
EatThePath
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
United States3943 Posts
February 14 2012 02:39 GMT
#7
You can take care of that courtesy after you propose.
Comprehensive strategic intention: DNE
Iranon
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States983 Posts
February 14 2012 02:39 GMT
#8
Yeah, it's sort of BM not to run things by her dad, but it's not really required, per se. How important is family to her? The more it matters to her, the more important it is you do.

Don't think of it as "sir may I please have permission to marry your daughter ohgodohgoddontkillme", just take the dude out to lunch one afternoon and chat about life. If he's going to be your father-in-law, you might as well get to know him on the level of two adults who both like the girl in question a whole lot.

gl hf.
Gofarman
Profile Joined June 2010
Canada648 Posts
February 14 2012 02:40 GMT
#9
Both of my brothers did, and it was definitely a good idea. I had a cousin who didn't, girl said yes, Dad said no, girl said sorry...

Yeah so idk what your Wife-to-be's relationship (with her father) is but manning up and asking the dad is never a bad idea.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46203 Posts
February 14 2012 02:40 GMT
#10
If her dad says No, would you not ask her? Shouldn't make a difference.

I don't see the need to ask for permission...

But that being said, wow she's beautiful Well done, my friend
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Pawsom
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
United States928 Posts
February 14 2012 02:46 GMT
#11
On February 14 2012 11:40 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
If her dad says No, would you not ask her? Shouldn't make a difference.

I don't see the need to ask for permission...

But that being said, wow she's beautiful Well done, my friend



It's about respect, and getting an idea of how your father in law to be may percieve you. If he says no, he must have a damn good reason, which he will share with you. Maybe you can clear it up or later decide its worth it to ask w/o the fathers permission.
Roe
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada6002 Posts
February 14 2012 02:55 GMT
#12
i thought i saw that berry shirt girl in another blog
Beavo
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Canada293 Posts
February 14 2012 02:58 GMT
#13
On February 14 2012 11:55 Roe wrote:
i thought i saw that berry shirt girl in another blog


in the gf thread maybe?
No one remembers second place
kerpal
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United Kingdom2695 Posts
February 14 2012 02:59 GMT
#14
haha, do i recognise the pics from the "post a pic of you with your gf" thread?

anyhow, i didn't ask, and i kind of wish i had if that's helpful.
RBKeys
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Canada196 Posts
February 14 2012 03:01 GMT
#15
On February 14 2012 11:55 Roe wrote:
i thought i saw that berry shirt girl in another blog


Definitely in the gf thread.

Question: you guys aren't in Calgary are you? She looks like someone I used to see around my school. Congrats by the way!
Thanks for the break :D
Roe
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada6002 Posts
February 14 2012 03:07 GMT
#16
On February 14 2012 11:58 Beavo wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 14 2012 11:55 Roe wrote:
i thought i saw that berry shirt girl in another blog


in the gf thread maybe?

oh yeah, that's where that shirt's cute
Funnytoss
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
Taiwan1471 Posts
February 14 2012 03:12 GMT
#17
It's the respectful thing to do, and chances are it will improve her father's impression of you if you do it right. If you plan on marrying her anyway, it's best to get off on the right foot with her family.
AIV_Funnytoss and sGs.Funnytoss on iCCup
berated-
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
United States1134 Posts
February 14 2012 03:15 GMT
#18
As long as you get along well with her family, I think you should. I asked my wife's dad before hand, we went out and played a round of golf, and then I asked. It was slightly uncomfortable, but looking back I'm definitely glad that I did.

Recently having my first kid though, I think the answer is even more of a yes to do so. When my daughter is old enough to get married, I would hope that my future son in law asks me. It all still comes down to what you are comfortable with though.

Regardless, good luck and congratulations. It's such an awesome journey.
WaveofShadow
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada31495 Posts
February 14 2012 03:15 GMT
#19
I did.
Not sure if my case is typical though because everyone knew it was coming, including her dad, who absolutely loves me and gives me free computer shit constantly.

I would recommend i though, definitely the classy way to go as many before me have already said.
twitch.tv/waveofshadow ||| Winner of AHGL's So You Think You Can Cast! ||| Juicy Dad for lyfe ||| 'idk i get a kick out of stupid things' - Jarms Yarng
Deleted User 135096
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
3624 Posts
February 14 2012 03:22 GMT
#20
On February 14 2012 11:40 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
If her dad says No, would you not ask her? Shouldn't make a difference.

I don't see the need to ask for permission...

But that being said, wow she's beautiful Well done, my friend

Pretty much this. In today's environment I would consider asking her dad a respectful courtesy that you are showing towards him, but definitely not necessary. Asking for actual 'permission' in this day and age just seems really odd to me.
Administrator
defnotGeorge
Profile Joined October 2010
United States80 Posts
February 14 2012 03:29 GMT
#21
I don't think you really have to, but I would definitely ask him first. It's just a sign of respect and a good thing to do IMO.
Bigtony
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States1606 Posts
February 14 2012 03:41 GMT
#22
I would tell, not ask her parents.
Push 2 Harder
tw!tch
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States563 Posts
February 14 2012 04:28 GMT
#23
On February 14 2012 12:41 Bigtony wrote:
I would tell, not ask her parents.


Yeah for real. You don't have to be a dick about it (not saying thats what you were implying), but if you know what you want, you shouldn't let them stop you.
pyrogenetix
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
China5098 Posts
February 14 2012 04:34 GMT
#24
Can't really say without knowing your situation... but it is the high road.

And she is beautiful. Congrats and good luck.
Yea that looks just like Kang Min... amazing game sense... and uses mind games well, but has the micro of a washed up progamer.
Jestalt
Profile Joined November 2011
United States28 Posts
February 14 2012 04:41 GMT
#25
Your girlfriend is absurdly pretty. YOU LUCKY BASTARD.
Know thyself.
GinDo
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
3327 Posts
February 14 2012 05:08 GMT
#26
Ask for his permission. If he says yes, you have his respect. If he says no, ask him why(respectfully), and what would change his mind. If he is reasonable, then follow through with his request. If he is not, well that's up to you on what you do next.

But, as a sign of respect, you should talk to him about it. Or, at least that's the way Latinos do it.
ⱩŦ ƑⱠẬ$Ħ / ƩǤ ɈƩẬƉØƝǤ [ɌȻ] / ȊṂ.ṂṼⱣ / ẬȻƩɌ.ȊƝƝØṼẬŦȊØƝ / ẬȻƩɌ.ϟȻẬɌⱠƩŦŦ ϟⱠẬɎƩɌϟ ȻⱠẬƝ
Silentness
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States2821 Posts
February 14 2012 05:26 GMT
#27
On February 14 2012 11:20 Beavo wrote:
Your little Beavo is going to propose to my long term girl friend. Somehow I have tricked a lovely girl like her into loving me. Even mean old beavo has a heart who knew. Starcraft 2 fan, anime fan, cosplay fan loves all RPGs and every other lovely quality you could possibly think of. I think she is pretty much perfect.

Shes berry beautiful :D

But I had a question, I am generally very old school and romantic, but do people still ask a fathers permission to marry his daughter? I have not heard of any one doing this in a long time, what is your take on this?

Frankly her dad scares the shit out of me


Umm people still ask their father. Least I did...

My wife wanted me to dress in full service dress (Air Force) to meet her father. First of all I was a bit worried because I'm black and she/her father are both Korean, but he was cool as fuck. We drunk soju together and ate chicken ass (literally chicken butt). I guess it just depends on how cool her dad is. My wife's dad was the last person I met before I got "permission" to marry.

Both her parents love me though. Which is pretty cool. Her dad even tries really hard to speak English to me. I feel like an ass because I should be trying really hard to speak Korean to him, but that language is so hard if you don't give it effort.
GL HF... YOLO..lololollol.
Probulous
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Australia3894 Posts
February 14 2012 06:01 GMT
#28
I think it is better to "ask" because if you can't handle daddy now then marriage is going to be difficult. I can't cause my lady's parents live in a different country but if they were nearer I would definitely ask them first. It is about recognising that they play a huge part in who she is and so by marrying her you are joining into that. You want the parents to be part of your marriage, asking them first is a small thing that can make all the difference.
"Dude has some really interesting midgame switches that I wouldn't have expected. "I violated your house" into "HIHO THE DAIRY OH!" really threw me. You don't usually expect children's poetry harass as a follow up " - AmericanUmlaut
Jacobine
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States174 Posts
February 14 2012 06:10 GMT
#29
It depends how much you want her dad to hate you. Ask for permission. I have a little girl and if the boy didn't ask I'd fucking kill his ass, so be respectful of the man who raised her (this is assuming that the dad isn't a complete asshole who never was there in her life).
"Resist that inner boner. - Day[9]"
MightyAtom
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Korea (South)1897 Posts
February 14 2012 09:24 GMT
#30
I don't think there are no negatives to asking, plus, it just is the right thing to do! Congrats!
Administrator-I am the universe- Morihei Ueshiba
Beavo
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Canada293 Posts
February 14 2012 13:32 GMT
#31
Thanks for the input . I will do it, TL has never let me down before
No one remembers second place
UltimateHurl
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Ireland591 Posts
February 14 2012 15:55 GMT
#32
Good luck man, as has been said I would ask the dad, sure it'll go ok.
netherh
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
United Kingdom333 Posts
February 14 2012 17:47 GMT
#33
I suggest asking the lady in question for permission to ask her father for permission to marry her.

Also relevant:

zalz
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Netherlands3704 Posts
February 14 2012 18:07 GMT
#34
Asking the father just feels so medieval to me.

Unless you need to discuss dowry with him, I don't see the purpose.


Then again, I suppose the father might consider it a nice gesture.

Personally, I think it's really creepy and hope the concept dies out. It is already a formality (because even if he says no, you would go on) but I hope the remainder of the concept is killed off soon enough.
keiraknightlee
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
United States301 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-14 18:10:34
February 14 2012 18:10 GMT
#35
dont ask her parents cmon dude, thats such an asian thing to do lmao
be a rebel and kidnap their daughter like a boss
~~~Happiness. Dreams. Love~~~Good Luck
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32154 Posts
February 14 2012 18:31 GMT
#36
No negatives in asking, and it gets you brownie points with pops for when he gets mad at you down the line and thinks about murdering you! Unless you have a bad or non existent relationship with him, might as well. Even if it was a weird relationship, it would still be a nice gesture

Congrats though, hi5!
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
sam!zdat
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5559 Posts
February 14 2012 18:43 GMT
#37
On February 15 2012 03:07 zalz wrote:
Asking the father just feels so medieval to me.

Unless you need to discuss dowry with him, I don't see the purpose.


HAHAHA yeah dude, don't ask her dad, she will hate you.
shikata ga nai
Chill
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Calgary26003 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-14 19:03:45
February 14 2012 18:59 GMT
#38
You can really see the <18 year old versus the >18 year old people in this thread.

Asking for permission is just a respectful thing to do. If you have any sense you should know he will already say yes and be happy for you. If he says no, well you can get married anyway and you're no worse off.

To the people saying "Just tell him, don't ask": Come on bro. When you ask "Can I have a Coke?" the meaning is still "I'm having a Coke" but it's just a respectful way to say it. The meaning is still "I'm marrying your daughter" but it's done in a respectful way. The point is to humble yourself and show her family you value their input, even if you don't give a shit. You'll probably have a heart to heart smoking cigars while sipping on whiskey while he gives you a bro pat on the shoulder. +100 family points.

Anyways, when I get engaged I'll 100% ask the father.
Moderator
bonifaceviii
Profile Joined May 2010
Canada2890 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-14 19:27:00
February 14 2012 19:26 GMT
#39
I'd be more concerned about asking permission to post pictures of her on the internet than asking her to marry you.

That said, I asked my fiancee's mom before I did it.
Stay a while and listen || http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=354018
Terranasaur
Profile Joined May 2011
United States2085 Posts
February 14 2012 19:52 GMT
#40
Congratulations Man! Pretty damn exciting, and she is a babe as well. Good for you! As a recently married man myself, I wish you the best of luck.

On the subject of asking Fathers, I think you should do it. It is a huge sign of respect and he will have more respect for you if you have the balls to talk to him about it. Especially if you want to continue to have a relationship with her family, talking to the Dad is something you should totally do. It just puts you in a good position. You don't even have to make that big of a deal about it, you just sit him down man to man, explain that you love his daughter, that you want to be with her for the rest of your life and that you will always protect and take care of her and that you want him on board. He'll appreciate the gesture and you will gain a new friend that is older, wiser, and most likely in a position to help you out in the future.

Be a man.

PS. Congrats again man.
Decisions Determine Destiny - Terranasaur#1719 D3 #557 SC2 3DS FC: 2423-3623-8068
Leafs
Profile Joined February 2011
Canada41 Posts
February 14 2012 20:46 GMT
#41
On February 15 2012 03:59 Chill wrote:
You can really see the <18 year old versus the >18 year old people in this thread.

Asking for permission is just a respectful thing to do.


This. When I did it, it was somewhat of an awkward thing to bring up, but its just a load off your shoulders. Just do it. Her dad will respect you more for it rather than just finding out you got engaged. My fiance was thrilled when she found out that I asked her dad first. It's the little details!
Beavo
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Canada293 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-19 23:49:55
February 19 2012 23:49 GMT
#42
Well thanks for the advice TL, I asked her father for his blessing and as soon as I told him he had the biggest smile on his face and shook my hand and told me that he would be proud if I married his daughter. It meant a lot to him, and it meant a lot to my new finacee as well :D

She said yes btw :D
[image loading]
[image loading]
[image loading]
No one remembers second place
Terranasaur
Profile Joined May 2011
United States2085 Posts
February 20 2012 01:28 GMT
#43
gg, wp.
Decisions Determine Destiny - Terranasaur#1719 D3 #557 SC2 3DS FC: 2423-3623-8068
Endymion
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States3701 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-20 01:48:11
February 20 2012 01:42 GMT
#44
her dad won't say no, it's a massive compliment to ask her father for approval, he would have to be an inconsiderate jerk to you AND more importantly to his daughter to say anything negative..

oh you already did it and it worked =] good job and congrats!
Have you considered the MMO-Champion forum? You are just as irrational and delusional with the right portion of nostalgic populism. By the way: The old Brood War was absolutely unplayable
Silentness
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States2821 Posts
February 20 2012 04:28 GMT
#45
Congrats! She looks really happy in that picture. I wish you both happy long lives together
GL HF... YOLO..lololollol.
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