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I am a failure. Twenty years old almost twenty one. I have absolutely nothing to show for it. I can't blame anyone but myself. My parents provided me with an extremely nice environment to grow up in and I went to schools that weren't terrible. I didn't have bad teachers, it's simply the result of myself and I'm coming to accept that. However, I'm hoping that there is time to change so I am using this blog as a reference point for myself so I can't go back on my word after this is written. I will change, and I will make something of myself.
1.) School - I currently am enrolled in a community college with a cumulative GPA of 1.4 (pretty impressive that I'm aloud to keep going with this). I was suspended for 2 semesters for constantly failing classes and I've already dropped 4 courses so I can't really drop anymore for the rest of my time in college. I need to shape up.
I would like to raise my GPA high enough so that I can transfer into a good college within the next two years. I would like to possibly go to somewhere like Berklee School of Music, and while that seems like a dream far out of reach, I believe with the proper motivation and work ethic I will be able to get in. My musical abilities are probably the only thing worthwhile that I've done with my life so far. So for this semester my goal is to pass all my classes with a 4.0, that would bring my GPA up to an at least a 2.4 which while not great, is a good start.
2.) Physical Appearance - I've been living in a cave known as my room for the past two years since graduating high school. I play games, I eat in here, I do manly stuff to myself and I really didn't care for my personal hygiene at all. I would go days without showering and until recently may have spent six or seven years with only brushing my teeth a handful of times. I haven't bought clothes since graduating high school and I haven't worked out. These are all things I'm ashamed of. I would like to be able to develop my own sense of fashion so that when in public I don't feel embarrassed about not matching, having clothes that don't fit, and just plain looking unattractive because of what I'm wearing. I have also bought a gym membership and started going four times a week. I'm about 5'5" and 118 pounds. If I was a girl, I'd have a pretty nice body, but I'm not. I'm a guy and I'm scrawny. I will try to put on between 10 and 15 pounds before the summer and I'd like to have muscle definition. I'm also running every day in the morning about a mile. I'd like to push that number up to two or three miles a day but I suffer from asthma so it's taking longer to build up my lung strength (been running since January). And about my teeth.. I have very bad gingivitis, some of my gum lines were receding and my teeth are a rancid yellow. I've bought a special toothpaste that has aleviated some of these things and my teeth are generally starting to look healthier, but I worry I may have caused some permanent damage. I also stopped wearing my retainer long ago and my bottom row of teeth are becoming quite crooked again.
3.) Friends - I have one friend to my name. That used to make me feel extremely sad but, I've come to terms with it and I'm glad I have at least one good friend. Since going to school again I've been introducing myself to new people and have found a study group for one of my classes and I appreciate them letting me study with them, but that's all we do and I wouldn't exactly call them friends, just acquaintances. See, in high school I actually had quite a few friends, but I was willing to do things I didn't enjoy just to get friends. I got involved heavily with drug use, and I'm not going to get into that here. When I finally decided it wasn't worth it I found myself alone basically and had been to insecure after that to go out and find healthy friendships. However recently I find myself lonely and am ready to get myself out there. All in all I realized I don't really care if I get rejected when trying to make friends because I won't be any worse off then before. I'm hoping by the summer time I've built a group of friendships of maybe three or four more people that I can say I feel close to, I think I'd be happy with that.
4.) My Music - I think not having friends was good for me in some respects because it gave me a lot of free time. Being lonely made me fall in love with music. Theres so much beauty in music and I feel very deeply connected with all sorts of music. I listen to everything ranging from Progressive Death Metal to Classical, from K-Pop to Rap, and for the most part I love it all because I know it's someone else expressing to the world how much they love music. That's something I respect. However, even though I'm fairly good at my respective instrument, I've found huge lacks of motivation lately. I used to play in bands in high school and even played several state tours when I was younger. Lately though, I haven't grown as a musician at all. I'm trying to learn a new song everyday, whether it's a simple acoustic song or something technical it doesn't matter, I'm just trying to better myself and keep improving. The other thing I really need to do is get my music out there. I spent a big sum of the money I have to turn my man cave into a low-budget recording studio. I have everything I need to make my music. Several mics, my guitars, a bass, drums, a good mixer, very good pre-sets on my recording software and some very loud high quality speakers. I'm trying to teach myself how to record professionally a little bit before I go off to school to learn, I feel it'll give me an edge and it's also something I'm finding I enjoy more then I thought I would. The other thing with my music is, I've always wanted to learn to sing. I'm an OK singer but nothing great. So everyday for thirty minutes I'm trying to do vocal exercises to strengthen my voice and control it better. My long term goal is that by the time summer comes, I have between six and seven songs that I've written fully recorded and that I can put together a project and start playing live again. I'd really like to spread my music.
These are things I've thought about and never really had the drive to get done. I don't know what made me realize I'm fucking my life up, and I don't know where I'm getting the energy to fix myself. But I'm hoping to find encouragement here and stories of people who have had the resources to do well but couldn't push themselves to do it as I have. If you came back from you're own self destruction or not I'd like to hear. Sorry for the long write up but I really hope that I can look back at this as motivation to keep myself on the right track. These are just the stepping stones to becoming the man I want to be, there will no doubt be more things added to this list in the future.
 
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Make this your browser homepage, so you can't ignore what you just wrote and it will pop up in front of your face whenever you go online.
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Good luck to you. It's easy to write about changing and still fall back into your comfort zone.
But as you said, stepping stones. 
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I honestly think the solution to most of these kind of blogs' problems is the computer. Step away from the computer, distance yourself from it. Don't touch it for a week. And most of your problems will solve themselves. Computer or any type of external stimulation like tv, phone, ipod, everything stimulating.
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I'm at the end of my work day so I'll keep it short (haha yes I am slacking until the very last minute):
1) School: No excuse for failing school, courses are designed for an average person with less-than-average work ethics to pass with a 2.0 or higher. Good that you realize it yourself, hope you can attain your goals and bring your CGPA up.
2) Appearance: working out 4 times a week, that's good enough as long as you do a 'proper routine' every time. Did you check the TL Health & Fitness section? It's under Sports & Games (check to the left!). There are lots of friendly, sometimes blunt, but always honest advices to find there. Also, please do spend a good amount of money on buying yourself clothes that fit. It's not like wearing oversized T-shirts because parents thought you'd grow a foot in a month - now it's time to take care of your own looks. I am tempted to copy/paste a short guide I wrote on another blog regarding how to approach a girl but I'll refrain until you post a girl blog (if you need to, lol). Short summary: work out properly, get good posture, let your confidence flow from the inside and show it proudly to others.
3) Friends: Quantity != quality. However, you may want more than just one... join some clubs?
4) Music: I don't know how important this is towards your career goals, but I would probably keep music at a 'hobby' level and focus on your marks. Marks aren't everything, but right now at your 1.4, yes marks are hella important. Let music relax you and relieve your stress, but don't let music steal your focus and concentration. Oh, and going back to the friends one, make friends via music? My best friends are also my bandmates and well we became bandmates because we were best friends... we're no longer active, but back in the high school days we were winning battle of the bands and rockin' hard!
Good luck TLer, hope to hear good news from you in the future!
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Set clear plans of action, and don't try to do too much at once. Good luck.
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Well, by acknowledging that you are not satisfied with your life and explicitly stating which areas you want to improve in is a good start. If I were you I would start with your physical appearance. Honestly, it doesn’t take that much effort to brush your teeth and take a shower every day. Hopefully it will make you feel better about yourself which should improve your confidence. With a better confidence it is easier to make friends. Finally, from personal experience, it is a lot easier to study with others so a bigger circle of friends might improve your results in school.
It is important that you set goals that are reachable and that you don’t get discouraged if you don’t make improvements right away.
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dont post on the internet for sympathy/advice about your life, everyone has problems and they themselves need to find the best way to fix it because they are the only ones that understand everything about them and how they work.
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you are 20 years old. if you were pushing 60 i would say something, but you are SO YOUNG, you have too much time to fix and change. remember it is never too late, and for youngsters like you there is no such thing as late. chin up.
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On February 10 2012 06:30 Golgotha wrote:
you are 20 years old. if you were pushing 60 i would say something, but you are SO YOUNG, you have too much time to fix and change. remember it is never too late, and for youngsters like you there is no such thing as late. chin up.
I think you are giving him bad advice, words like these are what enable people to fuck their life up for so long, you need to change now if you want to be happy in the future, every desicion you make should be a long term goal if you are really unhappy with yourself and want to change.
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I've actually been down a similar path and can relate pretty well with your situation. After dropping out of high school I ended up living in my own "man cave" for a few years playing wow all day and ended up becoming an anti-social 19 year old. At the time however, I didn't think that there was anything wrong with it. Like yourself, I was going to community college and ended up dropping a bunch of my classes and skipping semesters at a time simply because I didn't want to admit to myself that I was fucking up my life.
I think the fact that you can actually admit that the way you're living your life isn't what you want is a huge step forward. A huge catalyst for change in my life was when I realized how badly I was fucking it up. I actually felt an enormous amount of guilt towards my parents because they had made so many sacrifices in order for me to live comfortably. I had every opportunity to excel, but I simply disregarded it and ended up wasting my time on trivial things. It took me a couple of years, but I ended up sticking it through community college and ended up transferring to university. If you have a supportive family, they'll actually play a huge roll in the whole situation because they'll acknowledge every step you make towards your goal. I'm actually 23 now and will be graduating next winter; if it weren't for my support groups (family and friends) I'm not sure if I could have made it this far.
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Regarding your personal hygiene, what makes you not want to take showers, or even brush your teeth? Is it because you're lazy and you'd rather just sit in your chair and play games? You're afraid of permanent damage and I think that's reason enought to spend 10 minutes (5 minutes in the morning/the other five in the evening) to brush your teeth. Force yourself to take care of yourself and after a few days, these things should feel automatic.
If you can't create the will to brush your teeth, you will definitely not be able tO gain weight and put on muscular mass. It requires a great amount of discipline to stick to a strict diet and force yourself to workout. But if you decide to do it because you are sick of your poor lifestyle, I suggest googling "gomad" diet since you sound like a hard gainer. For a beginner workout, I suggest Starting Strength (google it to see example workouts on bodybuilding.com forums and buy the same titled book to know how to properly squat and deadlift). If you stick to this diet you should see an easy beginner gain of 15-20 lbs. I'm not going to say all of it will be muscle mass (a bit of fat too since gomad isn't really clean bulk) but you will look amazing in clothes, and feel strong as shit too.
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I got an idea your 21... lol u have a lot of time left in your life to make something happen relax. NO i didnt read everything i just read the first paragraph and was like ... your 21 lol understand this is the time of your life to make the biggest mistakes ... not when your older .. but right now haha
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On February 10 2012 06:39 SeizeTheDay wrote:
I got an idea your 21... lol u have a lot of time left in your life to make something happen relax. NO i didnt read everything i just read the first paragraph and was like ... your 21 lol understand this is the time of your life to make the biggest mistakes ... not when your older .. but right now haha
While what you're saying is true, it's better to start earlier than later. If you keep this kind of mindset you'll end up putting school/hygiene/working out off and keep telling yourself you still have time left.
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On February 10 2012 06:30 Golgotha wrote:
you are 20 years old. if you were pushing 60 i would say something, but you are SO YOUNG, you have too much time to fix and change. remember it is never too late, and for youngsters like you there is no such thing as late. chin up.
Well said, 20 is really young, faster you shape up the better OP!
Set specific goals for yourself. delve deeper into each specific thing you want to fix, just like this blog. Write them down on paper, realistic achievable goals, be it fitness, social life, or academia related. That is my advice, it really helps and keeps you focused.
GL fellow TLER!
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On February 10 2012 06:37 matiK23 wrote:
Regarding your personal hygiene, what makes you not want to take showers, or even brush your teeth? Is it because you're lazy and you'd rather just sit in your chair and play games? You're afraid of permanent damage and I think that's reason enought to spend 10 minutes (5 minutes in the morning/the other five in the evening) to brush your teeth. Force yourself to take care of yourself and after a few days, these things should feel automatic.
If you can't create the will to brush your teeth, you will definitely not be able tO gain weight and put on muscular mass. It requires a great amount of discipline to stick to a strict diet and force yourself to workout. But if you decide to do it because you are sick of your poor lifestyle, I suggest googling "gomad" diet since you sound like a hard gainer. For a beginner workout, I suggest Starting Strength (google it to see example workouts on bodybuilding.com forums and buy the same titled book to know how to properly squat and deadlift). If you stick to this diet you should see an easy beginner gain of 15-20 lbs. I'm not going to say all of it will be muscle mass (a bit of fat too since gomad isn't really clean bulk) but you will look amazing in clothes, and feel strong as shit too.
I've showered every day since january, and I brush my teeth twice a day, I don't know why I didn't before but i think it was because I was so depressed that I just couldn't motivate myself to do anything, thanks for the suggestion on the gomad diet I'll look it up right now.
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You... you sound exactly like me... like everything lol, except the hygiene (i had bad hygiene like 4 to 5 years ago tho) and drug part and well, i've been training for a year or so now. But everything else is so similar if not the same. Even your hight and weight are almost the same.
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Take it 1 day at a time. Admitting your faults is the first step. Remind yourself that "today will be a productive day" when you wake up or leave the house. Try hard and be serious about everything you do. Plan out your day in advance - personally my habit is to plan out how my day will be when I wake up. It'll be painful at first but after forcing yourself to do what needs to get done repeatedly it'll just naturally become a habit and part of your life.
Mental discipline does take some time to develop...but like everyone has said, you're 21, its never too late to turn your life around. Having said that, I've never found writing goals down effective personally - might work for some people I guess...but look at all those "I'm going to be a progamer blogs". I find that repeating in my head that: "I'm skinny, I got shitty grades and I need more friends" fires me up to work at those things everyday. My mentality to greatness is that I want to be the son my parents are proud of, and the guy that friends will say: "I want to be like that dude".
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dude youre 5'5 and 115 pounds thats a perfect body for a girl now just grow long hair and shave every day and use lipgloss and makeup and wear girly clothes and you will make friends in no time!!!
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I've worked fairly hard to change my life in many of the same ways over the last year. I've had terrible hygiene, diet, motivation for my passions, exercise habits, social skills; really the gamut. If you check my blog "Changing My Life", you'll see you're not alone in this endeavor. I've made great progress in bettering my own life, so don't ever forget that it's possible to achieve your goals. More importantly, if you need to chat with someone who understands I'm here for you. I know what it can be like to go through a period of intense change alone, because I still am. I honestly think struggling with 20+ years of habits every second of every minute of every hour of every day is one of the most challenging tasks the human mind can engage in.
The biggest piece of advice I can give to anyone in this position is to realize that you ultimately will fail in some regard, for no other reason than your design is inherently fallible. Know this, accept it, own it, then keep beating your head at the wall till you make progress.
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You are getting there. On the right track, in a few years or even a few months from now, you'll be very proud of yourself. I really respect that you can acknowledge yourself, and try to change for the better. Stay motivated, and live hard! We'll all be rooting for you from the bottom of our heart!
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I have been where you are, in all respects (kicked out of school, poor health, no friends) except for the drugs. I have also been homeless for a while (not fun). I'm not going to lie to you: if you cannot find a way through your malaise, no one else will. Not a psychologist, not your friends, not your mentors, not your family. Drugs can make you happy and productive but they cannot resolve your basic dilemma. You need to make a very clear choice to a not-so-simple question: to be or not to be. Who are you, and is it worth struggling to be you? If not, are you content with the alternative?
Behaviorally, animals respond to stress with either fight, flight, or freeze. You are currently frozen, unwilling to face the music (fight), but unwilling to walk away (flight).
I don't think you're a flyer, otherwise you wouldn't have posted. If flight seems appealing, you should think about getting on anti-depressants & talk with your friends/family about the stresses you're under (talking is a good idea regardless). As difficult a time as this is for you, you want to move forward nonetheless, blindly if necessary -- you will thank yourself a few years later for sticking it out and leaving options open.
So what about fight? I think your title "I am a failure" tells a lot about why you are frozen. You have failed in the past, so you are afraid of failure ahead. You could try for Berklee Music, but what if you don't get in (could you handle the rejection)? Why risk a fight if the battle can't be won?
It hurts terribly to see your dreams fall apart before your eyes, but I think I have found the answer to this problem. In a nutshell, you're not dreaming big enough. What more is Berklee than an educational stepping stone? What more is education than a foundation on which to build a career? What more is a career than an avenue through which art can express itself and a livelihood can be made. What greater worth is there to art and livelihood but enjoyment, and enjoyment of life?
So maybe you won't get into Berklee, that's entirely possible. That doesn't mean you cannot learn. Don't fight to get into Berklee, fight for knowledge itself.
Maybe your career won't take the path you expect it will (few of us can predict where are careers take us). That doesn't mean you stop seeking the things that make you who you are. Don't fight for your career, fight for yourself.
You're fighting simply for whether you are, or you are not. And the sooner you come to your self-awakening, the sooner you can start fighting.
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It's easier said than done and i hope you will find the motivation and strengh to change, because it looks like you really need to !
I'm curious about your music don't hesitate to post what you do
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I think you're on the right track. It takes a lot of courage to face up to your problems, let alone put them out on the internet in a blog. With your goals in place you're aimed in the right direction. Just force yourself to make a few positive steps every day and you'll be surprised where you end up.
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Bro, it's impossible to be a failure at 21.
At one point in my life I had dropped out of school (without dropping classes) leaving me with something like a 1.7 GPA. I was building houses for 12-16 hours/day and making the kickass wage of $8/hr.
But one day I slapped myself and got my shit together, and now I've got a pretty kick ass life.
If you're willing to work, and if you're willing to sacrifice, there's very little that you can't do.
But don't bitch about it. That's not going to get you anywhere. Instead, do something about it. Just fucking do it. ^^
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The good news is, it's never too late to turn it around. No matter how old you are.
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Have you talked to anyone to see if you have depression? I think poor physical hygenie is a sign of that. Also lazy people don't care that they are lazy - they just are lazy. But you seem to be upset and concerned that you have been unable to motivate yourself for awhile (in all parts of your life) even though you want to. Maybe its a sign of something chemically or emotionally wrong that a professional could help? Idk, anyway this feels like a good start - laying out goals and trying to take little steps towards them. Little steps get you so far. Good luck!
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This is probably one of the worst "Failure" blogs I've read in TL... it's depressing to read.
Absolutely do not slack on your education. There is absolutely no excuse for failing, even terminal illness.
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Ask your self where are you going wrong? why did you not achieve 70% + mark?
1) plan revision ahead...make a wall chart, note down key dates (exam dates, deadlines, study slots)
2) pre-read lecture notes, and summarise.
3) After lectures read notes again, add addition notes to the summaries or rewrite
4) Always ask the Professor for questions and problems you are stuck on
5) make friends with clever students, see how they study
6) Key to passing exams is to do past exam paper along with your summary notes.
7) Dont leave assignments till the last minute,
8) create a daily check list ...such as finish notes for lecture 1 (this works for me..but the list cant be long)
lastly you are not a failure, every person has so much potential, you have to unlock it with the right key (such as revision techniques, motivation, time managment)..
Unleash the inner phoenix and soar to the stars!!! hwaiting!
+ Show Spoiler +
Edit: I didnt realise you were a drug addict, perhaps you should talk to your doctor for help on withdrawing from recreational drugs. In order to achieve greatness you have to be healthy physically and mentally. Also talk to your Tutor and discuss your plans and future goals and difficulties. Do this Asap!!
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I know exactly how you feel man, I've been through a similar process. For me it was a lot of drug use and bad friends which led me to take a year off of school and rethink my life. It's really tough to go through because when you are alone it's a lot easier to stay alone. The best thing you can do is find things offline to do and make new friends as much as possible.
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You are way too young to call yourself a failure. However it is good your are acknowledging the self destructive behavior and working on fixing it.
You should be proud of yourself coz change really isn't easy, but something that hasn't really been mentioned here is why or how you managed to get to that state in the first place. Unless your parents never taught you to brush ur teeth and shower daily, or never cared for school/ education, it would help if you really thought about why you started to act the way you did (or why you felt the way you did to not care anymore). It may make you feel upset to think about it, but in doing so you can see what lead to the problem and how you can go about making sure it doesn't happen again in the future.
You will have periods of feeling down again. Feeling like a failure, and you will want to resort to the old bad habits because that is the easiest escape from those emotions. If you don't acknowledge and prepare for this, you could end up where you were before. This is all about coping mechanisms, doing what you need to do to make you feel OK about yourself, accepting that you can and will fail and that is also OK and you just have to keep trying and move forward.
Your in a good place right now, and keep up the good work. Bit by bit, you will get your confidence back and self worth along with it, just be prepared for some failures, and don't let it bring you down. It's part of the 'growth' process, people like to call it.
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On February 10 2012 06:30 mewbert wrote:
dont post on the internet for sympathy/advice about your life, everyone has problems and they themselves need to find the best way to fix it because they are the only ones that understand everything about them and how they work.
How about you don't post.
Are you new around here? Teamliquid is (and has been) a community of honesty and advice for a long time, so ridiculing him for seeking suggestions of how to better himself is ridiculous. It probably took a lot of guts to write what he did—at least double what it did to make yourself feel better on the internet for 5 seconds. Be constructive or get out.
And to the OP, I'm proud that you let out everything that you did. You've already done the biggest step which is acknowledging everything that you want to fix. All I can say is that you aren't going to be able to do all of this alone. You should invest in some relationships with the same attitude that you had when you wrote this, perhaps even show them this. Don't do it too quickly, let these things come up naturally in the relationships.
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Don't forget to try to identify why things went wrong last time. Don't want to end up making the same mistake.
Good luck bro
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About physical appearance: Finding a workout buddy/buddies helped me be a lot more consistent in going to the gym. I've read/believe that consistency is the most important thing for working out.
Also, taking a picture of yourself every day might be helpful (see how you progress/guilt trip yourself by "what would this do to my appearance")
Good luck man, way to be brutally honest with yourself :D
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Can't say that I can relate to how you feel, but good luck getting your life in order. Sounds like you're figuring out what you need to change, and all you need to do now is act. Even though you are still pretty young, don't procrastinate. Remember life gets better if you work at it.
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You should come post in the Teamliquid Health & Fitness initiative. The knowledge there is stupidly good, especially for a gaming forum. Also most of the regulars (decaf, me, funkie, eschlow) are doing very well academically and get hot girls.
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I'll just leave this here.
+ Show Spoiler +http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7pF6_PeamU
Listening to Nujabes has gotten me past my own failures and through the darkest times of my life. It sounds like music is important to you so I feel that you can benefit from this medicine as much as I have. `Zapdos fighting!
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You're breathing right now, right? That means no matter what else you think about your life, you have a good starting place. I don't think any human life can be called a failure at 21 - that's like calling the game in the first 10 minutes.
Besides, the word failure really has no meaning. I'm certain there are people in your situation as well as people who have far less than you that do not consider themselves failures, and on the other hand there are people who have a ton of the things you want that think they are failures. You have to ask yourself, what do you really want, that fits with your personality and your interests and work towards that, instead of judging yourself based on random standards you get from who-knows-where.
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Find what motivates you. Something I figured out recently but knew for the longest time without realizing it: Guilt doesn't motivate me.
From a psych standpoint, we're driven to feel good and to be right.
Guilt in and of itself is a very weak blip on the radar. Something to consider.
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On February 10 2012 09:33 jubil wrote:
You're breathing right now, right? That means no matter what else you think about your life, you have a good starting place. I don't think any human life can be called a failure at 21 - that's like calling the game in the first 10 minutes.
Besides, the word failure really has no meaning. I'm certain there are people in your situation as well as people who have far less than you that do not consider themselves failures, and on the other hand there are people who have a ton of the things you want that think they are failures. You have to ask yourself, what do you really want, that fits with your personality and your interests and work towards that, instead of judging yourself based on random standards you get from who-knows-where.
I disagree. I consider my 23 years an abysmal failure. The other side of the coin, however, is that I am still in a tenable position to change that, as is the OP here..
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You are only about 21, relax. Take a deep breath. I know at that age everything seems super important and "if I don't succeed now, I fail," but it's not true. You still have A LOT of time ahead of you in the prime of your life.
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Hey man,
I just wanted you to know that some good came of what you've posted here, it's made me do a whole lot of thinking about my own life, and I'm going to try and make some changes with you.
If we find some way to make ourselves happy, and to contribute to society in even the smallest fashion (to make other people happy,) then I think we will have succeeded.
Good luck.
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im pretty much in the same position as you. dont have any friends, schools going a bit sour, my body's pretty well broken by age 21(arthritis, psoriasis, asthma, tumor in lungs). just enjoy the sunshine
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On February 10 2012 06:32 mewbert wrote:Show nested quote +On February 10 2012 06:30 Golgotha wrote:
you are 20 years old. if you were pushing 60 i would say something, but you are SO YOUNG, you have too much time to fix and change. remember it is never too late, and for youngsters like you there is no such thing as late. chin up. I think you are giving him bad advice, words like these are what enable people to fuck their life up for so long, you need to change now if you want to be happy in the future, every desicion you make should be a long term goal if you are really unhappy with yourself and want to change.
what? how is that bad advice? the op is clearly distraught over the mistakes he has made and he labels himself as a failure. however, the truth is that he can change and fix his problems, he is not doomed to be a failure forever. You think I told him to fuck around until the very last moment and then miraculously shape up? where did I say that?  I did not say such things.
Look, you seem to think that you need to change now in order to be happy in the future. Well, changing is easy for some but very hard for others. Some people need time before waking the hell up. Thus, even if the OP does not change NOW, he is not doomed forever. That is my message. I doubt it will fuck his life up. lol.
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On February 10 2012 13:05 Golgotha wrote:Show nested quote +On February 10 2012 06:32 mewbert wrote:On February 10 2012 06:30 Golgotha wrote:
you are 20 years old. if you were pushing 60 i would say something, but you are SO YOUNG, you have too much time to fix and change. remember it is never too late, and for youngsters like you there is no such thing as late. chin up. I think you are giving him bad advice, words like these are what enable people to fuck their life up for so long, you need to change now if you want to be happy in the future, every desicion you make should be a long term goal if you are really unhappy with yourself and want to change. what? how is that bad advice? the op is clearly distraught over the mistakes he has made and he labels himself as a failure. however, the truth is that he can change and fix his problems, he is not doomed to be a failure forever. You think I told him to fuck around until the very last moment and then miraculously shape up? where did I say that? I did not say such things. Look, you seem to think that you need to change now in order to be happy in the future. Well, changing is easy for some but very hard for others. Some people need time before waking the hell up. Thus, even if the OP does not change NOW, he is not doomed forever. That is my message. I doubt it will fuck his life up. lol.
You ruined me. Kidding aside I don't understand fighting and negative attitude in this blog so I chose to ignore people like that and I appreciate your advice Golgotha. Also to everyone else who replied in here saying they've been inspired to change or that they're going through this right now feel free to PM me please. I really don't have other people to talk to so I don't mind exchanging stories with you and giving and receiving advice. I'm trying to build relationships and a foundation to start fixing myself and I think TL is great for that I've already met some very nice people from this thread.
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Every passing moment is a chance to turn it all around.
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On February 10 2012 06:24 0123456789 wrote:
I honestly think the solution to most of these kind of blogs' problems is the computer. Step away from the computer, distance yourself from it. Don't touch it for a week. And most of your problems will solve themselves. Computer or any type of external stimulation like tv, phone, ipod, everything stimulating.
This. At least for me. Internet/computer addiction is a very real problem for some people.
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Congratulations! You've failed! Now you have the opportunity to reinvent yourself from the ground up!
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On February 10 2012 06:24 0123456789 wrote:
I honestly think the solution to most of these kind of blogs' problems is the computer. Step away from the computer, distance yourself from it. Don't touch it for a week. And most of your problems will solve themselves. Computer or any type of external stimulation like tv, phone, ipod, everything stimulating.
I think I agree with this statement.
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On February 13 2012 09:45 Hidden_MotiveS wrote:Show nested quote +On February 10 2012 06:24 0123456789 wrote:
I honestly think the solution to most of these kind of blogs' problems is the computer. Step away from the computer, distance yourself from it. Don't touch it for a week. And most of your problems will solve themselves. Computer or any type of external stimulation like tv, phone, ipod, everything stimulating. I think I agree with this statement.
I'm pretty sure the internet does not hinder me from what I need to do nor was it a cause for my problem with myself, but I do appreciate the advice.
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On February 13 2012 13:23 `Zapdos wrote:Show nested quote +On February 13 2012 09:45 Hidden_MotiveS wrote:On February 10 2012 06:24 0123456789 wrote:
I honestly think the solution to most of these kind of blogs' problems is the computer. Step away from the computer, distance yourself from it. Don't touch it for a week. And most of your problems will solve themselves. Computer or any type of external stimulation like tv, phone, ipod, everything stimulating. I think I agree with this statement. I'm pretty sure the internet does not hinder me from what I need to do nor was it a cause for my problem with myself, but I do appreciate the advice.
I guess I was commenting on what was bringing myself down. In my personal experience setting unrealistic expectations on oneself and using a board as motivation hasn't been too effective, but perhaps it will work for you. Otherwise I'd talk to this friend of yours about it.
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On February 10 2012 13:05 Golgotha wrote:Show nested quote +On February 10 2012 06:32 mewbert wrote:On February 10 2012 06:30 Golgotha wrote:
you are 20 years old. if you were pushing 60 i would say something, but you are SO YOUNG, you have too much time to fix and change. remember it is never too late, and for youngsters like you there is no such thing as late. chin up. I think you are giving him bad advice, words like these are what enable people to fuck their life up for so long, you need to change now if you want to be happy in the future, every desicion you make should be a long term goal if you are really unhappy with yourself and want to change. what? how is that bad advice? the op is clearly distraught over the mistakes he has made and he labels himself as a failure. however, the truth is that he can change and fix his problems, he is not doomed to be a failure forever. You think I told him to fuck around until the very last moment and then miraculously shape up? where did I say that? I did not say such things. Look, you seem to think that you need to change now in order to be happy in the future. Well, changing is easy for some but very hard for others. Some people need time before waking the hell up. Thus, even if the OP does not change NOW, he is not doomed forever. That is my message. I doubt it will fuck his life up. lol.
the way he conveyed it is crass, but he is right that your post does not convey the sense of urgency that is needed in this case. The changes needed are not something that can be delayed for a few more months, because he's creating permanent damage to both his grades, and possibly his health. To get where he wants to be, the op needs life altering changes asap, because the older you get, the harder and harder it is to get back into shape, to unfuck your grades, to find the motivation to get your four year degree when you're 20-something taking a bunch of courses with dipshit freshmen kids.
Getting a 1.x in community college is real bad. I landed there after flunking out of university myself, and i can say from experience that those courses are designed so that even the dumbest of people will pass with a little effort. I'm gonna assume the op is not retarded, but lazy as fuck. The only way you fail CC is if you don't give a fuck at all, and if you can't get it up for CC, you're boned at a four year, and even something like Berklee or some other kind of art/music school where grades really don't matter as much. And that says nothing of your GPA, which is hard as hell to bring up when you've sunk it that low.
Prior to getting booted from my four year, I had two semesters with a 1.x and then I dipped below 1.0 after I just stopped showing up. Even after returning and pretty much getting 3.5 or better ever semster, I still only graduated with a 2.8 or 9 (I think my core was higher but whatever). Point is, even if you get suddenly motivated tomorrow, that is a huge fucking hole to dig out of, and the only way you do that is by starting asap.
Even if you are of just moderate intelligence, almost all levels of schooling are about how many miles of shit you're willing to walk through to get to your end goal. it's really something like 80% effort and 20% plain old smarts. You make up the difference by putting in the extra effort. If smarty pants dipshit that fucks the curve takes an hour to study, you take three.
If you're not willing to put forth the required effort, you should drop out for a semester and get a full time job. For a lot of people i've talked to that have been through similar issues (and for myself), working 40 hours a week for peanuts with no prospect of improvement is a pretty damn strong motivator to get your shit together in school and in life. Shit, working full time through school is a damn good way to get yourself so busy that you don't have time to be sitting around, moping in your room by yourself and fucking around playing games instead of studying. It teaches you how to manage your time, and how to manage money. You'll also meet more people. I really wish I had started college like that instead of waiting til I dropped out.
anyway, good luck. You're behind the 8 ball a bit, but you can definitely recover. it's up to you to put forth the immense effort you will need to unfuck what you've done. You've at least recognized where you're at, which is a major step forward.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wWFJU8XXVaw/S6t8wmupk3I/AAAAAAAAAD4/Cfua-jqJkwI/s1600/FantasyFirePhoenix.jpg)
