A recent Dongraegu tweet complaining about imbalance ignited a flurry of tweets from other Korean progamers, a flurry so entertaining we couldn’t just let it pass by. Unfortunately, the translator available at such short notice happened to speak exclusively Elizabethan English. And so we present to you, the pro-gamers of the GSL, Shakespearean style.
The following scene is based on real tweets.
Scene: Castle of GSL, small hall.
Enter Sir Dongraegu and Sir Nestea stage left.
Dongraegu: Whether facing Terran or Zerg, the result of Protoss Immortal timings are decided by no means other than the Protoss player's 'skill' in the deployment of force-fields. From the moment at which one misplaces a force-field, the victory has been yielded, yet if thine force-field placement be true, victory is attained.
MC, the fool’s head appears through the high window
MC: Attend Nestea well. How strong could Protoss be? It has yet but seen three GSL finals. Perhaps the good sir should be Protoss and improve his FF skill.[laughs]
DRG: Go to shrift, ye shameless Protoss ruffian! There is strength to Protoss now, such strength I'm fit to retch!
DRG (to Nestea): Forgive me, sir Nestea, I could not go on being so aggrieved.
Nestea: Cede victories to Protoss players, for then King David shall enfeeble them on our behalf.
[Sighs] It is so very arduous to survive as a Zerg these days... Dongraegu, let us advance together from the tournament... though I know it be more likely that we both will fall.
DRG: From this vantage, the heart of the swarm shouldn't usher in a golden age for Zerg. Let us share a drink after we are toppled.
Nestea: Verily, would that thou had braced thineself for such when first thou selected Zerg. Personally, I feel I have aged a decade in these past twelve months.
MC (to DRG): Regardless of the strengths Toss hold, one should be relied upon to vanquish Genius, at least...
DRG: Art thou without even a modicum of shame?!
Enter Lady Jessica & Sir Choya stage left
Jessica (to DRG): Soothe thineself, sirrah! Anger will only diminish thee.
Choya: Toss maintains a fearsome strength these days, have faith my Zerg friends.
Nestea: In soothe, Toss is strong, but thou art no formidable foe, I am sorry to say.
Choya: Wouldst thou receive my all-in, cousin? [laughs at length]
Nestea: Never let it be said that thou were without a measure of wit, Choya.
Choya: [laughs] Yes, but Protoss does seem peculiar strong when upon PvZ my gaze alights nowadays.
Nestea: Truly, thou art a fine and noble man, to so admit the OP of thine own race. I shall reward thee with a feast.
Choya: Aye, I admit it, I am but a poor Protoss. I accept thine gift of food.
Dongraegu, Nestea, Jessica exit stage right.
Choya (aside): Indeed, I must admit that Immortals are prodigious strong. Protoss is formidable these days, but it still depends on who uses it. Inarguably impotent when I use it!
"Truly a masterpiece not seen since Shakespeare himself. The tragic fall of Mvp portrayed in gut-wrenching detail by the ever excellent David Tenant. SirJolt brings refreshing Irish flair and traditional English eloquence to Covent Garden yet again. 4 Stars." -Evening Standard
"(Some actress, that's how much I know about theatre) gives the performance of a lifetime as the engimatic and enchanting Jessica in this modern and innovative show. Two thumbs up." -The Sunday Times
On February 02 2012 22:36 SirJolt wrote: Choya (aside): Indeed, I must admit that Immortals are prodigious strong. Protoss is formidable these days, but it still depends on who uses it. Inarguably impotent when I use it!
I feel like this would have been better in a couplet in iambic pentameter. Maybe something like:
Choya (aside: ) Perhaps, in truth, immortals can't go wrong, But in my hands is Protoss not so strong!
Choya (aside: ) If I could make this graceful tactic lame Then thou shoudst hate the player, not the game.
Choya (aside: ) I still would lose to Zerg save in my dream, But there's a reason that I coach the team.
On February 02 2012 22:36 SirJolt wrote: Choya (aside): Indeed, I must admit that Immortals are prodigious strong. Protoss is formidable these days, but it still depends on who uses it. Inarguably impotent when I use it!
I feel like this would have been better in a couplet in iambic pentameter. Maybe something like:
Choya (aside: ) Perhaps, in truth, immortals can't go wrong, But in my hands is Protoss not so strong!
Choya (aside: ) If I could make this graceful tactic lame Then thou shoudst hate the player, not the game.
Choya (aside: ) I still would lose to Zerg save in my dream, But there's a reason that I coach the team.
On February 03 2012 10:41 igotmyown wrote: I was just reading some post Elizabethan era books last night, and I have to say the diction of the translation is too modern.
Contractions are overused and the word "strong" in particular.
The original version had been a lot more... I guess "honestly" elizabethan, but it was definitely getting to the point where it was difficult for people who hadn't read anything in that style recently to read
I scaled it back a fair bit in an effort to ensure readability. Until then, I had replaced terms like "spits on the ground" with "voids his rheum upon the earth."
It was more fun, but the audience would have been so limited. Awkward choices to make, but they're there.
While I'm here, big thanks to Waxangel for the original translation and suggestions :D
I'd love to know if the Choya stuff is actually based off of what he said or if they just threw him in to make it funnier. Poor guy is pretty hard on himself if that's true.
On February 02 2012 22:56 Mobius_1 wrote: Rofl that didn't take long.
"Truly a masterpiece not seen since Shakespeare himself. The tragic fall of Mvp portrayed in gut-wrenching detail by the ever excellent David Tenant. SirJolt brings refreshing Irish flair and traditional English eloquence to Covent Garden yet again. 4 Stars." -Evening Standard
"(Some actress, that's how much I know about theatre) gives the performance of a lifetime as the engimatic and enchanting Jessica in this modern and innovative show. Two thumbs up." -The Sunday Times
"SirJolt is hurting ESPORTS." -Hot_Bid
"cool story bro" -Reddit
LOL. At first I was like, "This is pretty lolzy", then I read Hot_Bid's and Reddit's. Then I was just plain laughing.
This is absolutely wonderful. I had already read this, but the Shakespearean style made this better. The usage of the word sirrah mad me especially happy ^^
EPT
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