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[Girl Blog] Botched Push
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eviltomahawk
United States11135 Posts
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synapse
China13814 Posts
My sincerest condolences. | ||
semioldguy
United States7488 Posts
edit: at least you came back a man. | ||
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Torenhire
United States11681 Posts
Sorry it didn't work out though, but at least you're not stuck in "what if I told her" land like 99% of the other TL Girl bloggers end up. ^^ | ||
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intotheheart
Canada33091 Posts
edit: [The Song] Might be wildly inappropriate, but don't give up. Stay strong. | ||
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Cowpieguy
United States97 Posts
If, however, she tenses when you touch her or seems to be displeased, then she probably doesn't want to be more than friends. And that's why it's so hard to make this physical contact. It's a period of not knowing for you, and that's very scary. It's much easier to blurt out a question and get a yes or no. But in my experience, women never seem to like that, and like I said, I think that's because friendship doesn't turn into romance in one moment. Like you said, you developed feelings for her after spending more and more time with her. Popping a question like you did on her just gives her no room to manuever. You have to have the confidence to express your feelings for her in smaller ways and have the guts and patience for her to decide how she feels over time. I hope this helps man. I've done what you did many a time and it's just never worked for me. Best wishes for happiness. | ||
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Blazinghand
United States25558 Posts
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Shield
Bulgaria4824 Posts
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hazelynut
United States2196 Posts
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synapse
China13814 Posts
On January 27 2012 11:05 hazelynut wrote: Okok so the friendzone doesn't actually exist - she's either interested in you or she isn't. You cannot salvage this situation. Basically leave it alone and work on your own shit for now. ...that's the friendzone. | ||
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Torenhire
United States11681 Posts
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Turbovolver
Australia2396 Posts
But it's not a magical thing you end up in by waiting too long or by asking at the end of a dinner instead of at the start. Which is what the word "friend zone" implies. | ||
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Detrimentally
United States78 Posts
On January 27 2012 11:05 hazelynut wrote: Okok so the friendzone doesn't actually exist - she's either interested in you or she isn't. You cannot salvage this situation. Basically leave it alone and work on your own shit for now. You just contradicted yourself. Yes, the friend-zone exists and, sadly, it destroys many, many men. EDIT to your above response: No, its something you get put in by either a lack of physical and/or emotional attraction as well as judgement made about how you act around her. If she doesn't have an intense physical attraction, you listen to her problems, etc, you are in the friendzone. | ||
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Divinek
Canada4045 Posts
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caradoc
Canada3022 Posts
On January 27 2012 11:12 Turbovolver wrote: But it's not a magical thing you end up in by waiting too long or by asking at the end of a dinner instead of at the start. Which is what the word "friend zone" implies. nah, it's just the friendzone. You don't always know when you bumble your way into that cursed forest, it's not like the border is clearly marked with big red signs and flashing lights. Thing is though, once you end up in that forest, none of the paths lead back out, they just wind around and go into places like the Swamps of TryhardAwkward, The Briars of LemmeComplainAbouttheCompetition, The Frustrated Morass, or The Black Abyss of CantTakeNo.... @OP, just enjoy the friendzone and be a friend, or cut the contact down imo. eh, and as a general bit of tactical advice, I know when you're watching a great game you see that amazing engagement and you're like I want to do THAT, then you gear up the whole game to do that push, and it fails miserably, and you wonder what you did wrong... but theres all sorts of stuff you sometimes need to do in advance of the push, like using tactics like err...harass, or getting a positional advantage, or forcing a tech switch where you'll have an advantage over your opponent, etc. and stuff first to soften up your opponent, so that when the push finally comes, it's really just a formality-- The push didn't decide the game, the game was decided earlier. On January 27 2012 11:20 Divinek wrote: you didnt fuck anything up she just doesnt like you this also happens a lot too. nothing you can do about it, nothing you COULD have done about it. nothing to worry about. On January 27 2012 11:12 Torenhire wrote: Arguing about friendzone with a girl is probably not a good plan lol. Straight path to the black abyss, or the swamps if she's nice. | ||
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Keyboard Warrior
United States1178 Posts
DONT Skype to talk about it, dear lord. You have to discuss it in person. Dont rush it, there will be a perfect time for it. ask here to go to the park, something semi-intimate but not romantic, otherwise she will shut you down, And although it is not encouiraged that you surrender, try to entertain the fact that she might not like you, and that is perfectly fine. Life goes on. For now, play your cards well. | ||
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ziggurat
Canada847 Posts
On January 27 2012 11:24 caradoc wrote: eh, and as a general bit of tactical advice, I know when you're watching a great game you see that amazing engagement and you're like I want to do THAT, then you gear up the whole game to do that push, and it fails miserably, and you wonder what you did wrong... but theres all sorts of stuff you sometimes need to do in advance of the push, like using tactics like err...harass, or getting a positional advantage, or forcing a tech switch where you'll have an advantage over your opponent, etc. and stuff first to soften up your opponent, so that when the push finally comes, it's really just a formality-- The push didn't decide the game, the game was decided earlier. Excellent advice. And a good analogy too. | ||
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Brett
Australia3822 Posts
On January 27 2012 11:20 Divinek wrote: you didnt fuck anything up she just doesnt like you This (although attraction is a fluid concept, rather than an arbitrary yes or no). Don't beat yourself up about this, and certainly don't obsess over this girl. DO use it as an opportunity to correct any glaring errors you made though, like not pulling qthe trigger sooner. | ||
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Bigtony
United States1606 Posts
On January 27 2012 11:20 Divinek wrote: you didnt fuck anything up she just doesnt like you Agree ^ You probably could have been more direct (rather than 'casual suggesting' it), but if she's not into you that's it. I also don't buy "the friend zone." It's just a bullshit thing made up by guys who don't get the woman they want. There are countless stories of friendships becoming romantic. Fuck, for like the past 2000 years that's how most non-arranged relationships came about. You didn't date anyone, you were just friends. Not enough information about your friendship to give real advice though. How intimate is/was your relationship? Obviously not in the sexual meaning, just how close were you actually? | ||
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ig0tfish
United States345 Posts
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