[This is about counter-strike:source, not sc2 unfortunately]
*Edit* This is probably really shitty writing, but I just wanted to blog about it.
When I was very young and growing up(8 or so) we had one computer in the house. It sat between me and my brother's room, and we were got a DSL connection fairly early on. With me being the younger brother, and my brother being addicted to counter-strike, I got very little time on it, however, when I was on it, I was playing counter-strike[1.6]. This was maybe 20 minutes a day and it was quite a fun time.
At some point, my family got another computer that was more up to date(2004 maybe) and naturally, that was the computer my brother took, and he switched over to playing counter-strike:source(css). I continued playing CS1.6 and longed for the day that i would have a computer powerful enough to run the game that looked like so much fun that my brother was constantly playing. Well... I eventually got that computer, and this is essentially the story of what happened.
When I first got a computer capable of running counter-strike:source, I pubbed quite a bit. I was maybe 13 at the time and pubbing was a source of enjoyment. In 2008, near the collapse of the CGS, I discovered(through some pub clan) the enjoyment that was that of competitive gaming, and I never looked back. I constantly played scrims through mIRC and gamed essentially all day. After about 6 months of this I got truly competitive about the game.
I began trying my best to be the best. I watched juansource(CSS's equivalent of a day9 in depth daily) all the time, often falling asleep watching it, and while I was up I was either scrimming, deathmatching(to improve my aim) aim mapping(to improve my aim) or sitting in an empty server thinking up strategies for my team to use the next time we scrimmed. Let me get this straight. I didn't play this game just "a lot", I played it korean style, 10-12 hours a day(even on school days) every day, literally every moment I had I was on the computer and every moment of that was spent in game trying to get better.
I lived this "life" for approximately 2.5 years, culminating in my grade 11 run in which i went to less than 40% of my classes, and failed every non-academic course i took. This game was my life. For those 2 and a half years i was dedicated to never losing, always improving, and being the best that I could possibly be. I can tell you, however, I didn't even almost succeed. My best css achievement was going 9-0[full season is 16 games] in the lowest league division, and then having the team die on me due to unreliable fucking crazy people on the team. That was essentially the end of my css "career"(if you would call it that). I quickly realized that even though I spent every waking moment trying to be the best at this game, and it was literally two times the amount of any pro that touched the game since the death of the CGS, I would never be good enough to even call myself almost nearly there.
The moral of this story, essentially, is that even if you put your heart and soul into something, if you don't have the innate talent you cannot, and will not, ever make it to "the big leagues" even when it's just a game, and the big leagues don't even pay more than $5000 to split between 5 people for a first place victory in the biggest tournament.
I won't say that what I did was stupid or a waste of time because I honestly don't believe it was. It taught me a life lesson that I'll never forget, however, I should have realized much sooner that it wasn't going to happen, and in the end, I sacrificed all too much for a dream that never came to fruition.
Follow your dreams, but don't fuck up your life in the process.
In a team game you are good as your weakest link. It sounds like with better networking your luck could have been different, especially since you were putting in the effort.
On January 12 2012 07:07 voo05 wrote: Follow your dreams, but don't fuck up your life in the process.
these are wise words
Amen to that.
Emotional story. I hope your life is back on track, at least, as close as it can be. This is why I never like playing 2v2 in BW, because you can never really trust ur ally(ies) unless you actually know them.
On January 12 2012 07:19 Sinensis wrote: In a team game you are good as your weakest link. It sounds like with better networking your luck could have been different, especially since you were putting in the effort.
that's a possibility, however one thing i forgot to mention in the blog is that not only did I dedicate my life to a game for several years but I also am a fat piece of shit so I've never had more than a few friends(and even less true friends) and not developed my social skills as i should have by this point, so often when I was in a position to join a team I thought I could play on my level, they wouldn't want me because I'm one awkward mother fucker
Really good read, sorry about the consequences. But, if this is any comfort: "Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checked by failure...than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." -Teddy Roosevelt
On January 12 2012 07:28 happyft wrote: Really good read, sorry about the consequences. But, if this is any comfort: "Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checked by failure...than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." -Teddy Roosevelt
Yeah I've read those types of quotes quite a few times.
you failed the minute you switched to css from 1.6 :D I was considering getting serious with 1.6 back in the day, back when cal-m meant a shit load. then cal p ruined cal-m and then cal died, and then cpl tt. that scene was really fucking awesome for a time. really a shame to see it taper off.
at least now you can go into pubs and go 20-0 before you get banned for owning the 14 year old retard server admins too hard every month or so. i know that's what i do with my residual 1.6 skills ^^
Sorry to hear, but that does sound like a really good life lesson. I had my same run with SC2, doing nothing but it outside of school and hw. Lucky me, school was/is always a priority, so I didn't go down the same road you did. In the end, I burned out, despite the # of hours I put into it.
Sad stuff! But at least we can mourn together, right? ;3
On January 12 2012 07:36 Alejandrisha wrote: you failed the minute you switched to css from 1.6 :D I was considering getting serious with 1.6 back in the day, back when cal-m meant a shit load. then cal p ruined cal-m and then cal died, and then cpl tt. that scene was really fucking awesome for a time. really a shame to see it taper off.
at least now you can go into pubs and go 20-0 before you get banned for owning the 14 year old retard server admins too hard every month or so. i know that's what i do with my residual 1.6 skills ^^
hahaha I never really liked 1.6 because of the wallbang mechanic tbh
oh i have a 1.6 story also. we had like 1 loss in our reform cal season and 1 in our reform cevo season and i had played with those guys for like 4 years. and then it turns out one of my guys (he was actually the newest edition.. prob 6-7 months playing with him)--and i mean you know this.. if you play this game with a set team for an extended period of time you trust the shit out of them--was toggling and we had like 75% of our matches overturned
That sucks dude, nice change of pace for a blog though, going on about a failed atempt as opposed to all those "I'm going to go pro." Threads.
Regardless, CSS was the first game I played some what competitivly, had great fun playing it, although my skill was like mid on mIRC scrims but my team was like high (I had a shit pc and was carried :D). Was a lot of fun though, made a lot of friends :D.
On January 12 2012 07:42 Alejandrisha wrote: oh i have a 1.6 story also. we had like 1 loss in our reform cal season and 1 in our reform cevo season and i had played with those guys for like 4 years. and then it turns out one of my guys (he was actually the newest edition.. prob 6-7 months playing with him)--and i mean you know this.. if you play this game with a set team for an extended period of time you trust the shit out of them--was toggling and we had like 75% of our matches overturned
that's when i quit.
fuck team games. self reliance.
I understand the feeling, It's happened to me a few times.(however, not with people that I played with for that long.. maybe 2 months)
all i wonder is where were your parents during this? they let you play 10-12 hours on the computer on school days, and let you fail your classes? i would slap my kids silly if they tried that.
On January 12 2012 08:03 dAPhREAk wrote: all i wonder is where were your parents during this? they let you play 10-12 hours on the computer on school days, and let you fail your classes? i would slap my kids silly if they tried that.
same.. my gaming sched back in middle school/high school was like.. school til 2:30, baseball ti'l 5:30 or 6, maybe see gf for 2-3 hrs then play for 1-2 hrs and i thought i was a gamer just because i put all of my free time into it. but i guess it really wasn't that much :/ in the off season i could go for 4-5 hrs a day max, though.
On January 12 2012 08:03 dAPhREAk wrote: all i wonder is where were your parents during this? they let you play 10-12 hours on the computer on school days, and let you fail your classes? i would slap my kids silly if they tried that.
I failed my first class in grade 11, along with 1 other, just was only getting borderline in all my classes from grade 8 onward
On January 12 2012 08:03 dAPhREAk wrote: all i wonder is where were your parents during this? they let you play 10-12 hours on the computer on school days, and let you fail your classes? i would slap my kids silly if they tried that.
I failed my first class in grade 11, along with 1 other, just was only getting borderline in all my classes from grade 8 onward
not to pry but what was home life like? if i was on comp for 4-5 hrs my mom would start nagging me to do something and i'm glad she did haha. oh the nerd baller i'd have been, though tt
On January 12 2012 08:03 dAPhREAk wrote: all i wonder is where were your parents during this? they let you play 10-12 hours on the computer on school days, and let you fail your classes? i would slap my kids silly if they tried that.
I failed my first class in grade 11, along with 1 other, just was only getting borderline in all my classes from grade 8 onward
not to pry but what was home life like? if i was on comp for 4-5 hrs my mom would start nagging me to do something and i'm glad she did haha. oh the nerd baller i'd have been, though tt
pretty shitty, I moved in with my dad at some point because he just leaves me alone.
This should be forwarded to a certain sc2 player really...
As for me, I could probably have succeeded in CS1.5/6 around 2004, was pretty good at that time, if I had put in more than 3h a day, and hadn't enlisted in the army. I barely skipped any classes though (was already 20 and in engineering school) since I considered that was more important.
Well, don't regret it if you manage to overturn your life ! Those were good years. You can't do that afterwards, shit's starting to get too important.
On January 12 2012 07:36 Alejandrisha wrote: you failed the minute you switched to css from 1.6 :D I was considering getting serious with 1.6 back in the day, back when cal-m meant a shit load. then cal p ruined cal-m and then cal died, and then cpl tt. that scene was really fucking awesome for a time. really a shame to see it taper off.
yeh i know exactly what you mean. I think I got into cs1.6 2004 or something and started playing competitively 2005? I remember the first CS movie i watched was The Fellowship of NoA. I fucking loved the game and was CAL-m at my peak, but I never really considered going pro - I think the amount of competition available just due to CAL and CEVO were enough for me. Not to mention there was never any monetary incentive back then to go pro. After CS:S came out and the scene was split/dying I just started playing BW which was never as exciting/fun/exhilarating as cs1.6 but was more like winning a game of chess or something.
Hopefully CS:GO can measure up at least a little to CS1.6
omg 1.6 movies were the most amazing thing ever. i watched eolithic at least 10 times! noa movie was probably my #2 as well :D
yeah we never played to become famous or professional. it was just insanely satisfying to start humble, and then eventually beat really good teams as we grew. in fact, my happiest gaming moment was when my lowly cal-o/im squad beat genome, a great cal-m team that eventually went cal-p in a scrim.. not even a league match. every round we won we got so pumped.
I used to play CSS, started competitive play when CAL was in its last season, then moved on to ESEA. My best accomplishment was making ESEA-Invite with Fighting Irish. However, practicing for 3 hrs a night got extremely boring and this was around the same time that sc2 came out so I gave it up and went on to play sc2. Never really played that much css though besides practicing a few hours a night with my team and a few ESEA pugs a day. Also I couldn't stand the fps community, you can't even play cs without having to talk shit because of how much everyone flames each other.
I was quite succesful in CSS. I played in team logitech.fi dunno if you followed eu scene in 06-07 i think (cant even remember the years anymore). I think we finished 2nd twice in the eurocup, won SGL, 3rd in some lan in denmark and won all the finnish LANs... definitely top3-5 team in europe at the time.
CSS and all team games for that matter are about finding a skilled 5 man team with good chemistry and motivation to get better. Sounds easy enough but it can be extremely hard especially when most players are quite young though i think the player pool in games is getting older, thank god. If you're not a social person it can be hard to get into the 'pro' player circles and you're stuck playing with whoever you can get
On January 12 2012 09:48 SyNc` wrote: I used to play CSS, started competitive play when CAL was in its last season, then moved on to ESEA. My best accomplishment was making ESEA-Invite with Fighting Irish. However, practicing for 3 hrs a night got extremely boring and this was around the same time that sc2 came out so I gave it up and went on to play sc2. Never really played that much css though besides practicing a few hours a night with my team and a few ESEA pugs a day. Also I couldn't stand the fps community, you can't even play cs without having to talk shit because of how much everyone flames each other.
sounds like you missed out on the glory that was pubmasters :D
the cs community was pretty mature back in the day when cal was in its first few seasons. don't really know what happened but everything went to shit all the clips up the end of it were from cal-m matches, when cal-m was srs bsns :D
On January 12 2012 07:07 voo05 wrote: [This is about counter-strike:source, not sc2 unfortunately]
*Edit* This is probably really shitty writing, but I just wanted to blog about it.
When I was very young and growing up(8 or so) we had one computer in the house. It sat between me and my brother's room, and we were got a DSL connection fairly early on. With me being the younger brother, and my brother being addicted to counter-strike, I got very little time on it, however, when I was on it, I was playing counter-strike[1.6]. This was maybe 20 minutes a day and it was quite a fun time.
At some point, my family got another computer that was more up to date(2004 maybe) and naturally, that was the computer my brother took, and he switched over to playing counter-strike:source(css). I continued playing CS1.6 and longed for the day that i would have a computer powerful enough to run the game that looked like so much fun that my brother was constantly playing. Well... I eventually got that computer, and this is essentially the story of what happened.
When I first got a computer capable of running counter-strike:source, I pubbed quite a bit. I was maybe 13 at the time and pubbing was a source of enjoyment. In 2008, near the collapse of the CGS, I discovered(through some pub clan) the enjoyment that was that of competitive gaming, and I never looked back. I constantly played scrims through mIRC and gamed essentially all day. After about 6 months of this I got truly competitive about the game.
I began trying my best to be the best. I watched juansource(CSS's equivalent of a day9 in depth daily) all the time, often falling asleep watching it, and while I was up I was either scrimming, deathmatching(to improve my aim) aim mapping(to improve my aim) or sitting in an empty server thinking up strategies for my team to use the next time we scrimmed. Let me get this straight. I didn't play this game just "a lot", I played it korean style, 10-12 hours a day(even on school days) every day, literally every moment I had I was on the computer and every moment of that was spent in game trying to get better.
I lived this "life" for approximately 2.5 years, culminating in my grade 11 run in which i went to less than 40% of my classes, and failed every non-academic course i took. This game was my life. For those 2 and a half years i was dedicated to never losing, always improving, and being the best that I could possibly be. I can tell you, however, I didn't even almost succeed. My best css achievement was going 9-0[full season is 16 games] in the lowest league division, and then having the team die on me due to unreliable fucking crazy people on the team. That was essentially the end of my css "career"(if you would call it that). I quickly realized that even though I spent every waking moment trying to be the best at this game, and it was literally two times the amount of any pro that touched the game since the death of the CGS, I would never be good enough to even call myself almost nearly there.
The moral of this story, essentially, is that even if you put your heart and soul into something, if you don't have the innate talent you cannot, and will not, ever make it to "the big leagues" even when it's just a game, and the big leagues don't even pay more than $5000 to split between 5 people for a first place victory in the biggest tournament.
I won't say that what I did was stupid or a waste of time because I honestly don't believe it was. It taught me a life lesson that I'll never forget, however, I should have realized much sooner that it wasn't going to happen, and in the end, I sacrificed all too much for a dream that never came to fruition.
Follow your dreams, but don't fuck up your life in the process.
Great except.... "The moral of this story, essentially, is that even if you put your heart and soul into something, if you don't have the innate talent you cannot, and will not, ever make it to 'the big leagues'"
This is SO wrong and I hate it when people say this because it is just an excuse. Oh that guy beat me because he was just born smarter and more talented. This is wrong. What makes someone the best is hard work and dedication.
You said it didn't work for you, well its not suppose to work the first time. Almost every successful person has had a major fail like you've experienced, except the difference is that they kept on working at it until they become the best.
On January 12 2012 07:07 voo05 wrote: [This is about counter-strike:source, not sc2 unfortunately]
*Edit* This is probably really shitty writing, but I just wanted to blog about it.
When I was very young and growing up(8 or so) we had one computer in the house. It sat between me and my brother's room, and we were got a DSL connection fairly early on. With me being the younger brother, and my brother being addicted to counter-strike, I got very little time on it, however, when I was on it, I was playing counter-strike[1.6]. This was maybe 20 minutes a day and it was quite a fun time.
At some point, my family got another computer that was more up to date(2004 maybe) and naturally, that was the computer my brother took, and he switched over to playing counter-strike:source(css). I continued playing CS1.6 and longed for the day that i would have a computer powerful enough to run the game that looked like so much fun that my brother was constantly playing. Well... I eventually got that computer, and this is essentially the story of what happened.
When I first got a computer capable of running counter-strike:source, I pubbed quite a bit. I was maybe 13 at the time and pubbing was a source of enjoyment. In 2008, near the collapse of the CGS, I discovered(through some pub clan) the enjoyment that was that of competitive gaming, and I never looked back. I constantly played scrims through mIRC and gamed essentially all day. After about 6 months of this I got truly competitive about the game.
I began trying my best to be the best. I watched juansource(CSS's equivalent of a day9 in depth daily) all the time, often falling asleep watching it, and while I was up I was either scrimming, deathmatching(to improve my aim) aim mapping(to improve my aim) or sitting in an empty server thinking up strategies for my team to use the next time we scrimmed. Let me get this straight. I didn't play this game just "a lot", I played it korean style, 10-12 hours a day(even on school days) every day, literally every moment I had I was on the computer and every moment of that was spent in game trying to get better.
I lived this "life" for approximately 2.5 years, culminating in my grade 11 run in which i went to less than 40% of my classes, and failed every non-academic course i took. This game was my life. For those 2 and a half years i was dedicated to never losing, always improving, and being the best that I could possibly be. I can tell you, however, I didn't even almost succeed. My best css achievement was going 9-0[full season is 16 games] in the lowest league division, and then having the team die on me due to unreliable fucking crazy people on the team. That was essentially the end of my css "career"(if you would call it that). I quickly realized that even though I spent every waking moment trying to be the best at this game, and it was literally two times the amount of any pro that touched the game since the death of the CGS, I would never be good enough to even call myself almost nearly there.
The moral of this story, essentially, is that even if you put your heart and soul into something, if you don't have the innate talent you cannot, and will not, ever make it to "the big leagues" even when it's just a game, and the big leagues don't even pay more than $5000 to split between 5 people for a first place victory in the biggest tournament.
I won't say that what I did was stupid or a waste of time because I honestly don't believe it was. It taught me a life lesson that I'll never forget, however, I should have realized much sooner that it wasn't going to happen, and in the end, I sacrificed all too much for a dream that never came to fruition.
Follow your dreams, but don't fuck up your life in the process.
Great except.... "The moral of this story, essentially, is that even if you put your heart and soul into something, if you don't have the innate talent you cannot, and will not, ever make it to 'the big leagues'"
This is SO wrong and I hate it when people say this because it is just an excuse. Oh that guy beat me because he was just born smarter and more talented. This is wrong. What makes someone the best is hard work and dedication.
You said it didn't work for you, well its not suppose to work the first time. Almost every successful person has had a major fail like you've experienced, except the difference is that they kept on working at it until they become the best.
It isn't wrong. Not everyone is capable of following their dreams. If willpower and hard work was the only barrier to being a professional athlete, there would be a lot more people in the NBA.
That being said OP, if you really were practicing 12 hours a day, I doubt it was your individual skill that held you back but rather your team.
great advice here. unless your very good from a young age and can keep school up dont evan try to be pro unless your done with high school and make some sort of money.
I was just a pubstar in some texas server but it was good times chillin out. Pick de_train. Go terrorist. Boost up onto the ledge in spawn and chill out in the car lol. Sometimes i miss my online friends. Maybe i could find them if i reinstall steam one of these days lol.
On January 12 2012 08:03 dAPhREAk wrote: all i wonder is where were your parents during this? they let you play 10-12 hours on the computer on school days, and let you fail your classes? i would slap my kids silly if they tried that.
I failed my first class in grade 11, along with 1 other, just was only getting borderline in all my classes from grade 8 onward
not to pry but what was home life like? if i was on comp for 4-5 hrs my mom would start nagging me to do something and i'm glad she did haha. oh the nerd baller i'd have been, though tt
I dunno, I feel pretty comfortable with my real life personality although I throw all my free time into girlfriend or gaming. Why do you feel it helped you to do other stuff with your free time in high school? I'd rather put my "hobby time" into something that will be worthwhile for me later on as I plan to be doing things in esports for a long time.
On January 12 2012 07:07 voo05 wrote: [This is about counter-strike:source, not sc2 unfortunately]
*Edit* This is probably really shitty writing, but I just wanted to blog about it.
When I was very young and growing up(8 or so) we had one computer in the house. It sat between me and my brother's room, and we were got a DSL connection fairly early on. With me being the younger brother, and my brother being addicted to counter-strike, I got very little time on it, however, when I was on it, I was playing counter-strike[1.6]. This was maybe 20 minutes a day and it was quite a fun time.
At some point, my family got another computer that was more up to date(2004 maybe) and naturally, that was the computer my brother took, and he switched over to playing counter-strike:source(css). I continued playing CS1.6 and longed for the day that i would have a computer powerful enough to run the game that looked like so much fun that my brother was constantly playing. Well... I eventually got that computer, and this is essentially the story of what happened.
When I first got a computer capable of running counter-strike:source, I pubbed quite a bit. I was maybe 13 at the time and pubbing was a source of enjoyment. In 2008, near the collapse of the CGS, I discovered(through some pub clan) the enjoyment that was that of competitive gaming, and I never looked back. I constantly played scrims through mIRC and gamed essentially all day. After about 6 months of this I got truly competitive about the game.
I began trying my best to be the best. I watched juansource(CSS's equivalent of a day9 in depth daily) all the time, often falling asleep watching it, and while I was up I was either scrimming, deathmatching(to improve my aim) aim mapping(to improve my aim) or sitting in an empty server thinking up strategies for my team to use the next time we scrimmed. Let me get this straight. I didn't play this game just "a lot", I played it korean style, 10-12 hours a day(even on school days) every day, literally every moment I had I was on the computer and every moment of that was spent in game trying to get better.
I lived this "life" for approximately 2.5 years, culminating in my grade 11 run in which i went to less than 40% of my classes, and failed every non-academic course i took. This game was my life. For those 2 and a half years i was dedicated to never losing, always improving, and being the best that I could possibly be. I can tell you, however, I didn't even almost succeed. My best css achievement was going 9-0[full season is 16 games] in the lowest league division, and then having the team die on me due to unreliable fucking crazy people on the team. That was essentially the end of my css "career"(if you would call it that). I quickly realized that even though I spent every waking moment trying to be the best at this game, and it was literally two times the amount of any pro that touched the game since the death of the CGS, I would never be good enough to even call myself almost nearly there.
The moral of this story, essentially, is that even if you put your heart and soul into something, if you don't have the innate talent you cannot, and will not, ever make it to "the big leagues" even when it's just a game, and the big leagues don't even pay more than $5000 to split between 5 people for a first place victory in the biggest tournament.
I won't say that what I did was stupid or a waste of time because I honestly don't believe it was. It taught me a life lesson that I'll never forget, however, I should have realized much sooner that it wasn't going to happen, and in the end, I sacrificed all too much for a dream that never came to fruition.
Follow your dreams, but don't fuck up your life in the process.
Great except.... "The moral of this story, essentially, is that even if you put your heart and soul into something, if you don't have the innate talent you cannot, and will not, ever make it to 'the big leagues'"
This is SO wrong and I hate it when people say this because it is just an excuse. Oh that guy beat me because he was just born smarter and more talented. This is wrong. What makes someone the best is hard work and dedication.
You said it didn't work for you, well its not suppose to work the first time. Almost every successful person has had a major fail like you've experienced, except the difference is that they kept on working at it until they become the best.
errr... even though there is some truth in what you said (every successful person experienced failure blabla), it does *not* mean that talent does not exist and/or does not matter a lot. Take maths. Some people naturally get it waaayyy quicker. We've all seen it. Some students will understand everything in like 5 minutes, and it'll take days for others.
So yeah, sure, with hours of work, no-talent guys can improve. But there are only 24hrs per day, and only about 80 years in a life. So if someone learns 40 times faster than you, and works a decent amount of time, then you're just screwed. And you should do something else.
On January 12 2012 08:03 dAPhREAk wrote: all i wonder is where were your parents during this? they let you play 10-12 hours on the computer on school days, and let you fail your classes? i would slap my kids silly if they tried that.
I failed my first class in grade 11, along with 1 other, just was only getting borderline in all my classes from grade 8 onward
not to pry but what was home life like? if i was on comp for 4-5 hrs my mom would start nagging me to do something and i'm glad she did haha. oh the nerd baller i'd have been, though tt
I dunno, I feel pretty comfortable with my real life personality although I throw all my free time into girlfriend or gaming. Why do you feel it helped you to do other stuff with your free time in high school? I'd rather put my "hobby time" into something that will be worthwhile for me later on as I plan to be doing things in esports for a long time.
well, actually, it didn't. i don't think i really paid much mind to my parents trying to get me away from games. thanks for bringing that up..i don't know why i thought about it like that O_O i'm heading into the city tomorrow to visit gf. maybe i'll see you walkin around xD
Excellent story. I've made the jump to try all sorts of things like moving overseas for love, or trying to be an indie game developer (and I did actually have the background in coding to get started). If I wasn't on to such a good thing in my life at the moment, I'd probably be trying to become a musician next. Even when these things fail miserably and you realise you may have thrown away some great opportunities or time & money on something that ultimately left you back where you started or worse, if you've followed your heart you've been true to yourself. That's never a bad thing.
Similar story here with WoW arena cept I made it to the top(destroying r1 players from every bg when everyone xferred to bloodlust)
I disagree with the statement that you just sometimes can't make it. You just need to improve at improving if that makes sense... The argument came up in an earlier post 'It isn't wrong. Not everyone is capable of following their dreams. If willpower and hard work was the only barrier to being a professional athlete, there would be a lot more people in the NBA.'
With so many people sharing one dream, you need to improve faster than everyone. Also sports are a lot different to gaming, physical injury / limitations play a MASSIVE role in any sort of sport. Gaming on the other hand is entirely about hand eye coordination and thinking.
All in all, the most valuable thing I've learned is that being number #1 is irrelevant, because soon after you are someone who is more dedicated than you(and there always will be) will dethrone you.
These days I prefer using the term challenge over competitive. I want to challenge myself to play guitar as best I can, play sc2 , play quake, play mario kart ffs AS BEST I CAN. Not for glory, not to cure any insecurities but because it's HOW I FUCKING LIKE TO DO SHIT.
Long rant from me, good blog(first one in months on TL)
Totally feel ya on the social skills, if I didnt move out of home at 18 I feel I still would be a massive loner. Luckily Wrath of the lich king ruined any fun that was WoW arena lol.
the thing is that even with a game that is essentially entirely based around an online community, you can't just play the game 12 hours a day and just hope to make it to the main stage. becoming pro has a lot to do with networking, connections, and being more than just someone who is capable of playing all day everyday - something that pretty much anybody can attest to.
this applies to pretty much every single thing that you could ever want to do in life. You can't just make it to the top by being willing to train all day. There are thousands of others that are just as willing but also have other things going for them that get them recruited and realized as people worth spending money on. Without the willingness to make opportunities for yourself, all your training simply becomes wasted time.
I see what you're saying, but it's kind of a jaded view imo since I personally think you didn't go about your path in the best way. You did more than what others who strive for the same probably did, but I still don't think you did enough.
On January 12 2012 15:22 pjw wrote: Similar story here with WoW arena cept I made it to the top(destroying r1 players from every bg when everyone xferred to bloodlust)
I disagree with the statement that you just sometimes can't make it. You just need to improve at improving if that makes sense... The argument came up in an earlier post 'It isn't wrong. Not everyone is capable of following their dreams. If willpower and hard work was the only barrier to being a professional athlete, there would be a lot more people in the NBA.'
With so many people sharing one dream, you need to improve faster than everyone. Also sports are a lot different to gaming, physical injury / limitations play a MASSIVE role in any sort of sport. Gaming on the other hand is entirely about hand eye coordination and thinking.
All in all, the most valuable thing I've learned is that being number #1 is irrelevant, because soon after you are someone who is more dedicated than you(and there always will be) will dethrone you.
These days I prefer using the term challenge over competitive. I want to challenge myself to play guitar as best I can, play sc2 , play quake, play mario kart ffs AS BEST I CAN. Not for glory, not to cure any insecurities but because it's HOW I FUCKING LIKE TO DO SHIT.
Long rant from me, good blog(first one in months on TL)
Totally feel ya on the social skills, if I didnt move out of home at 18 I feel I still would be a massive loner. Luckily Wrath of the lich king ruined any fun that was WoW arena lol.
Playing an FPS game, at least, depends on reaction times, twitch shooting, hand-eye coordination, and decision making. all of which(imo) differ from person to person based on talent to begin with
This was moving. I can actually relate myself. I failed a semester of college back in 1998 because of Vanilla SC. I played day and night and stopped going to classes. I ended up having to drop all of my classes and take a semester off to quit playing. Luckily, it didn't affect my life significantly and I still did well in college overall. I even got accepted to grad school and got my Ph.D. in genetics. But I could see how it could have really ruined my life if I hadn't stopped as soon as I did.
In our society, as we grow older things like gaming become less important, and they are replaced by things like education, a job, a wife, kids etc... With the emerging eSports scene; maybe our society will change and playing a video game will be an honourable thing. However, as it stands, playing video games still seems like a "waste of time" and you, the writer, and me, the reader, are both under that notion, so we can sit here and read what you wrote and think "yeah, bro, you screwed yourself in a way...." However!!!!! I don't think you screwed yourself. You were passionate and stoked on the game, and you followed through to try your hardest. Live with no regrets my friend! Just give as much passion to other things when they come up in your life when you feel the need to chase after them as well ie: girl friend, job ect... Keep on keepin on...
On January 13 2012 06:13 ComebackKid wrote: In our society, as we grow older things like gaming become less important, and they are replaced by things like education, a job, a wife, kids etc... With the emerging eSports scene; maybe our society will change and playing a video game will be an honourable thing. However, as it stands, playing video games still seems like a "waste of time" and you, the writer, and me, the reader, are both under that notion, so we can sit here and read what you wrote and think "yeah, bro, you screwed yourself in a way...." However!!!!! I don't think you screwed yourself. You were passionate and stoked on the game, and you followed through to try your hardest. Live with no regrets my friend! Just give as much passion to other things when they come up in your life when you feel the need to chase after them as well ie: girl friend, job ect... Keep on keepin on...
On January 12 2012 07:07 voo05 wrote: [This is about counter-strike:source, not sc2 unfortunately]
*Edit* This is probably really shitty writing, but I just wanted to blog about it.
When I was very young and growing up(8 or so) we had one computer in the house. It sat between me and my brother's room, and we were got a DSL connection fairly early on. With me being the younger brother, and my brother being addicted to counter-strike, I got very little time on it, however, when I was on it, I was playing counter-strike[1.6]. This was maybe 20 minutes a day and it was quite a fun time.
At some point, my family got another computer that was more up to date(2004 maybe) and naturally, that was the computer my brother took, and he switched over to playing counter-strike:source(css). I continued playing CS1.6 and longed for the day that i would have a computer powerful enough to run the game that looked like so much fun that my brother was constantly playing. Well... I eventually got that computer, and this is essentially the story of what happened.
When I first got a computer capable of running counter-strike:source, I pubbed quite a bit. I was maybe 13 at the time and pubbing was a source of enjoyment. In 2008, near the collapse of the CGS, I discovered(through some pub clan) the enjoyment that was that of competitive gaming, and I never looked back. I constantly played scrims through mIRC and gamed essentially all day. After about 6 months of this I got truly competitive about the game.
I began trying my best to be the best. I watched juansource(CSS's equivalent of a day9 in depth daily) all the time, often falling asleep watching it, and while I was up I was either scrimming, deathmatching(to improve my aim) aim mapping(to improve my aim) or sitting in an empty server thinking up strategies for my team to use the next time we scrimmed. Let me get this straight. I didn't play this game just "a lot", I played it korean style, 10-12 hours a day(even on school days) every day, literally every moment I had I was on the computer and every moment of that was spent in game trying to get better.
I lived this "life" for approximately 2.5 years, culminating in my grade 11 run in which i went to less than 40% of my classes, and failed every non-academic course i took. This game was my life. For those 2 and a half years i was dedicated to never losing, always improving, and being the best that I could possibly be. I can tell you, however, I didn't even almost succeed. My best css achievement was going 9-0[full season is 16 games] in the lowest league division, and then having the team die on me due to unreliable fucking crazy people on the team. That was essentially the end of my css "career"(if you would call it that). I quickly realized that even though I spent every waking moment trying to be the best at this game, and it was literally two times the amount of any pro that touched the game since the death of the CGS, I would never be good enough to even call myself almost nearly there.
The moral of this story, essentially, is that even if you put your heart and soul into something, if you don't have the innate talent you cannot, and will not, ever make it to "the big leagues" even when it's just a game, and the big leagues don't even pay more than $5000 to split between 5 people for a first place victory in the biggest tournament.
I won't say that what I did was stupid or a waste of time because I honestly don't believe it was. It taught me a life lesson that I'll never forget, however, I should have realized much sooner that it wasn't going to happen, and in the end, I sacrificed all too much for a dream that never came to fruition.
Follow your dreams, but don't fuck up your life in the process.
Great except.... "The moral of this story, essentially, is that even if you put your heart and soul into something, if you don't have the innate talent you cannot, and will not, ever make it to 'the big leagues'"
This is SO wrong and I hate it when people say this because it is just an excuse. Oh that guy beat me because he was just born smarter and more talented. This is wrong. What makes someone the best is hard work and dedication.
You said it didn't work for you, well its not suppose to work the first time. Almost every successful person has had a major fail like you've experienced, except the difference is that they kept on working at it until they become the best.
errr... even though there is some truth in what you said (every successful person experienced failure blabla), it does *not* mean that talent does not exist and/or does not matter a lot. Take maths. Some people naturally get it waaayyy quicker. We've all seen it. Some students will understand everything in like 5 minutes, and it'll take days for others.
So yeah, sure, with hours of work, no-talent guys can improve. But there are only 24hrs per day, and only about 80 years in a life. So if someone learns 40 times faster than you, and works a decent amount of time, then you're just screwed. And you should do something else.
I know someone who came into college having taken absolutely no calculus, had a shitty math SAT score, was just all-around bad at math, but decided to become a math major, and then did just that. He's now working on his math PhD at a prestigious USA research institution.
On January 12 2012 07:07 voo05 wrote: [This is about counter-strike:source, not sc2 unfortunately]
*Edit* This is probably really shitty writing, but I just wanted to blog about it.
When I was very young and growing up(8 or so) we had one computer in the house. It sat between me and my brother's room, and we were got a DSL connection fairly early on. With me being the younger brother, and my brother being addicted to counter-strike, I got very little time on it, however, when I was on it, I was playing counter-strike[1.6]. This was maybe 20 minutes a day and it was quite a fun time.
At some point, my family got another computer that was more up to date(2004 maybe) and naturally, that was the computer my brother took, and he switched over to playing counter-strike:source(css). I continued playing CS1.6 and longed for the day that i would have a computer powerful enough to run the game that looked like so much fun that my brother was constantly playing. Well... I eventually got that computer, and this is essentially the story of what happened.
When I first got a computer capable of running counter-strike:source, I pubbed quite a bit. I was maybe 13 at the time and pubbing was a source of enjoyment. In 2008, near the collapse of the CGS, I discovered(through some pub clan) the enjoyment that was that of competitive gaming, and I never looked back. I constantly played scrims through mIRC and gamed essentially all day. After about 6 months of this I got truly competitive about the game.
I began trying my best to be the best. I watched juansource(CSS's equivalent of a day9 in depth daily) all the time, often falling asleep watching it, and while I was up I was either scrimming, deathmatching(to improve my aim) aim mapping(to improve my aim) or sitting in an empty server thinking up strategies for my team to use the next time we scrimmed. Let me get this straight. I didn't play this game just "a lot", I played it korean style, 10-12 hours a day(even on school days) every day, literally every moment I had I was on the computer and every moment of that was spent in game trying to get better.
I lived this "life" for approximately 2.5 years, culminating in my grade 11 run in which i went to less than 40% of my classes, and failed every non-academic course i took. This game was my life. For those 2 and a half years i was dedicated to never losing, always improving, and being the best that I could possibly be. I can tell you, however, I didn't even almost succeed. My best css achievement was going 9-0[full season is 16 games] in the lowest league division, and then having the team die on me due to unreliable fucking crazy people on the team. That was essentially the end of my css "career"(if you would call it that). I quickly realized that even though I spent every waking moment trying to be the best at this game, and it was literally two times the amount of any pro that touched the game since the death of the CGS, I would never be good enough to even call myself almost nearly there.
The moral of this story, essentially, is that even if you put your heart and soul into something, if you don't have the innate talent you cannot, and will not, ever make it to "the big leagues" even when it's just a game, and the big leagues don't even pay more than $5000 to split between 5 people for a first place victory in the biggest tournament.
I won't say that what I did was stupid or a waste of time because I honestly don't believe it was. It taught me a life lesson that I'll never forget, however, I should have realized much sooner that it wasn't going to happen, and in the end, I sacrificed all too much for a dream that never came to fruition.
Follow your dreams, but don't fuck up your life in the process.
Great except.... "The moral of this story, essentially, is that even if you put your heart and soul into something, if you don't have the innate talent you cannot, and will not, ever make it to 'the big leagues'"
This is SO wrong and I hate it when people say this because it is just an excuse. Oh that guy beat me because he was just born smarter and more talented. This is wrong. What makes someone the best is hard work and dedication.
You said it didn't work for you, well its not suppose to work the first time. Almost every successful person has had a major fail like you've experienced, except the difference is that they kept on working at it until they become the best.
errr... even though there is some truth in what you said (every successful person experienced failure blabla), it does *not* mean that talent does not exist and/or does not matter a lot. Take maths. Some people naturally get it waaayyy quicker. We've all seen it. Some students will understand everything in like 5 minutes, and it'll take days for others.
So yeah, sure, with hours of work, no-talent guys can improve. But there are only 24hrs per day, and only about 80 years in a life. So if someone learns 40 times faster than you, and works a decent amount of time, then you're just screwed. And you should do something else.
I know someone who came into college having taken absolutely no calculus, had a shitty math SAT score, was just all-around bad at math, but decided to become a math major, and then did just that. He's now working on his math PhD at a prestigious USA research institution.
bad grades and/or bad level at time t does not imply no talent. It can be because the guy: a/ has never studied maths a single second before (in this case, he had taken no calculus classes?) b/ has never given a shit. Maybe spending all his time thinking about other stuff (sports, friends, work, whatever) c/ has been to classes/tried, but with stupid professors, wrong environment d/ so many other reasons
long story short: no, talent is not big flashy number tattooed on your face. So yes, you can *look* bad but actually have talent. There is no way to know for sure if you have talent for one particular thing or not (precisely because this information is not written anywhere). For the OP, given his experience, he came to the conclusion that he was lacking talent. Maybe he's wrong, and what he was lacking was a super good mouse? We will never know. But in my opinion he made the right call.
Oh, and mentioning one guy you know who succeeded despite an *apparent* lack of talent doesnt prove anything. I actually know dozens of students who have studied maths like crazy (like 18hrs a day for 2 or 3 years) and never got even close to the level of other dozens of gifted students who would just study 2hrs a day. So yeah, maybe the former were just using the wrong methods to study, maybe they were not eating enough vegetables... you can look for other reasons to explain that sometimes 18hrs/day <<< 2hrs/day. But I'm pretty sure in 95% of the cases it's just pure talent difference.
I had the same experience with counter-strike source. The only hope you have of going pro is to 1) LAN [and do ok] 2) Be in with the medium+ teams, which is easy when you LAN, and hopefully getting in to a inter team, then pro only coming once you've established yourself there). Every single Pro team in Aus started at LAN/bunch of friends. There was never any 'getting in' on the pro scene here, every other pro team was maybe 1 or 2 inter team players and recycled players from dying/reforming Pro teams. Of course, I couldn't achieve 1 or 2, I live in regional Australia, so no LAN for me, and an endless cycle of amateur teams, and having hopes dashed once I got to main+ teams because of cheaters and dying/failed teams. Didn't matter if you spend 100 hours working on strats and aim becoming the best player in a team game like CSS.
But none of that translates directly to RTS games like SC2, they can be played with 200 ping, and travel is possible....so much easier to fly yourself or one person overseas than an entire team ($10,000 A TRIP?!) - even with huge sponsors like Intel only make that possible if they fund most of it.
Wow it's like reading what happened to me... Exactly the same, I went hours playing non stop and school work dipped dangerously low... My saving grace? The parents not paying the internet bill.
The closing line is so true, I've seen so many people throw away their lives because they want to "go pro" when half the time it just isn't plausible. I mean the best we managed at a LAN was like, 16th and I can only recall one time we reached the latter stages of a tournament online, we were good but compared to the real teams no where near.
Edit: Someone mentioned that their CS/CSS team were like a family, I remember every person in the team I was in who was what and their personalities. I sure as hell miss those guys but we've all parted ways. The real world should always win
On January 13 2012 15:10 Yenticha wrote: Oh, and mentioning one guy you know who succeeded despite an *apparent* lack of talent doesnt prove anything. I actually know dozens of students who have studied maths like crazy (like 18hrs a day for 2 or 3 years) and never got even close to the level of other dozens of gifted students who would just study 2hrs a day. So yeah, maybe the former were just using the wrong methods to study, maybe they were not eating enough vegetables... you can look for other reasons to explain that sometimes 18hrs/day <<< 2hrs/day. But I'm pretty sure in 95% of the cases it's just pure talent difference.
I know dozens of incredibly stupid people who had near perfect GPAs...
I have to wholeheartedly disagree with the emboldened comment.
While your story indeed is sad, I think you might be taking things out of context. While to you it may seem like you just never had it in you to go pro, chances are higher that you were simply doing something wrong and didn't realize it - stories like this won't shake my belief of hard work being enough to become a pro (even though I'm not trying to do it.. yet?), because the possibility that you made some mistake you didn't realize are simply higher and more probable. That said, nice story.
While I like the ending quote, I don't really agree with the talent thing. IMO, work ethic and just having passion for something is a talent in itself...but since CSS is a teamgame, it might've seen like you didn't have talent, when it would be the lack of dedication of your team.
For such a young poster these are quite wise words. Welcome to TL. Thoroughly enjoyed reading this and appreciated the message personally. I know the feeling : /
On January 14 2012 01:02 OutlaW- wrote: While your story indeed is sad, I think you might be taking things out of context. While to you it may seem like you just never had it in you to go pro, chances are higher that you were simply doing something wrong and didn't realize it - stories like this won't shake my belief of hard work being enough to become a pro (even though I'm not trying to do it.. yet?), because the possibility that you made some mistake you didn't realize are simply higher and more probable. That said, nice story.
That's quite possible, however from my POV it's hard to think like that when I spent so much time just entirely dedicated to one thing, and my skill only measured up to mid esea-main(equivalent of mid-high masters maybe)
Thanks for sharing the story, I hope this can reach out to all the delusional teenagers who are ready to so easily throw off the important things in life for an incredibly slim chance at a progaming career.
I believe the root of the problem is the accessibility of computer games. All careers require hours and hours of dedicated studies, training, experience, teamwork, and on top of that, you need talent and luck. It's the same with progaming. Too many gamers, including those I've seen here at TL, are under the wrong impression that couple-hours-a-day counts as dedicated training, and beating a couple others counts as talent enough to be on par with some of the best in the world.
Just as not everyone is born to be a professional athlete, not everyone is born to be a progamer.
On January 12 2012 15:22 pjw wrote: Similar story here with WoW arena cept I made it to the top(destroying r1 players from every bg when everyone xferred to bloodlust)
I disagree with the statement that you just sometimes can't make it. You just need to improve at improving if that makes sense... The argument came up in an earlier post 'It isn't wrong. Not everyone is capable of following their dreams. If willpower and hard work was the only barrier to being a professional athlete, there would be a lot more people in the NBA.'
With so many people sharing one dream, you need to improve faster than everyone. Also sports are a lot different to gaming, physical injury / limitations play a MASSIVE role in any sort of sport. Gaming on the other hand is entirely about hand eye coordination and thinking.
All in all, the most valuable thing I've learned is that being number #1 is irrelevant, because soon after you are someone who is more dedicated than you(and there always will be) will dethrone you.
These days I prefer using the term challenge over competitive. I want to challenge myself to play guitar as best I can, play sc2 , play quake, play mario kart ffs AS BEST I CAN. Not for glory, not to cure any insecurities but because it's HOW I FUCKING LIKE TO DO SHIT.
Long rant from me, good blog(first one in months on TL)
Totally feel ya on the social skills, if I didnt move out of home at 18 I feel I still would be a massive loner. Luckily Wrath of the lich king ruined any fun that was WoW arena lol.
Playing an FPS game, at least, depends on reaction times, twitch shooting, hand-eye coordination, and decision making. all of which(imo) differ from person to person based on talent to begin with
aim is directly related to how good the people you are playing. Like, aim maps never really help except warming up. I found that when i was getting better, you have to play people who have better aim to get better aim, cause the better players have faster reactions and better movement, they force you to aim faster and more accurately. I honestly don't think its a talent thing, just that you were not practicing the right way. The thing that happens for a lot of people around that good but kinda not so good level of skill in team games is that they practice in ways that are really bad. Like, they will play a shit ton of aim maps, but against players with bad aim. Or they scrim a lot, against players of similar skill, so they never are forced to get better. I never think of talent, especially at such a low level of CS play, a mental hurdle blocked you, not some innate talent in the rest of players.
If anything korea's starcraft dominancs shows that mechanics is truly a developped skill. Idra can practice his mechanics all damn day in America, but if he's not playing the best his mechanics will still not be the best, same with aim or any other skill.
On January 12 2012 15:22 pjw wrote: Similar story here with WoW arena cept I made it to the top(destroying r1 players from every bg when everyone xferred to bloodlust)
I disagree with the statement that you just sometimes can't make it. You just need to improve at improving if that makes sense... The argument came up in an earlier post 'It isn't wrong. Not everyone is capable of following their dreams. If willpower and hard work was the only barrier to being a professional athlete, there would be a lot more people in the NBA.'
With so many people sharing one dream, you need to improve faster than everyone. Also sports are a lot different to gaming, physical injury / limitations play a MASSIVE role in any sort of sport. Gaming on the other hand is entirely about hand eye coordination and thinking.
All in all, the most valuable thing I've learned is that being number #1 is irrelevant, because soon after you are someone who is more dedicated than you(and there always will be) will dethrone you.
These days I prefer using the term challenge over competitive. I want to challenge myself to play guitar as best I can, play sc2 , play quake, play mario kart ffs AS BEST I CAN. Not for glory, not to cure any insecurities but because it's HOW I FUCKING LIKE TO DO SHIT.
Long rant from me, good blog(first one in months on TL)
Totally feel ya on the social skills, if I didnt move out of home at 18 I feel I still would be a massive loner. Luckily Wrath of the lich king ruined any fun that was WoW arena lol.
Playing an FPS game, at least, depends on reaction times, twitch shooting, hand-eye coordination, and decision making. all of which(imo) differ from person to person based on talent to begin with
aim is directly related to how good the people you are playing. Like, aim maps never really help except warming up. I found that when i was getting better, you have to play people who have better aim to get better aim, cause the better players have faster reactions and better movement, they force you to aim faster and more accurately. I honestly don't think its a talent thing, just that you were not practicing the right way. The thing that happens for a lot of people around that good but kinda not so good level of skill in team games is that they practice in ways that are really bad. Like, they will play a shit ton of aim maps, but against players with bad aim. Or they scrim a lot, against players of similar skill, so they never are forced to get better. I never think of talent, especially at such a low level of CS play, a mental hurdle blocked you, not some innate talent in the rest of players.
If anything korea's starcraft dominancs shows that mechanics is truly a developped skill. Idra can practice his mechanics all damn day in America, but if he's not playing the best his mechanics will still not be the best, same with aim or any other skill.
While it is true I often wasn't playing against the best players, that's almost irremediable since IRC and other scrim finding places are filled to the brim with people that are bad that think they're super amazing.
About idra: I think he has some of the best mechanics in the game, his decision making is just not on the super top level, and I'm not sure how that could be attributed to anything other than an innate talent?
Man, this is such a depressing blog especially since the OP is being so brutally honest with his life.
Best of luck in the future, exercise a lot/eat write, join social/academic circles, finish/start a degree, and you'll be back to owning in life just as you did in CSS in no time
It's sounds like the infrastructure of the esport you were trying to become pro in just wasn't there I can't say I agree that talent had anything to do with this. You misjudged the dedication of your team, the availability of work, and the reality of the competition. It just kinda sounds like you got obsessed with a video game and didn't think clearly about where it would lead.
I could play BW 10 hours a day trying to get good playing with other foreigners, but there's no scene outside Korea for me to go to, and it's unlikely I'd get good playing noobs. If I played 10 hours a day it would just be because I was avoiding life. You know what I'm saying? Nothing to do with a talent, everything to do with opportunity. You were an irresponsible kid playing video games, not much more. You really should consider it a waste.
On January 14 2012 08:14 Chef wrote: It's sounds like the infrastructure of the esport you were trying to become pro in just wasn't there I can't say I agree that talent had anything to do with this. You misjudged the dedication of your team, the availability of work, and the reality of the competition. It just kinda sounds like you got obsessed with a video game and didn't think clearly about where it would lead.
I could play BW 10 hours a day trying to get good playing with other foreigners, but there's no scene outside Korea for me to go to, and it's unlikely I'd get good playing noobs. If I played 10 hours a day it would just be because I was avoiding life. You know what I'm saying? Nothing to do with a talent, everything to do with opportunity. You were an irresponsible kid playing video games, not much more. You really should consider it a waste.
It's different in the fact that I wasn't just playing the game "for fun" it was an all out attempt to be the best, I can tell you with the utmost certainty that sitting in a server thinking up strats, and death matching for hours on end are not fun endeavors, and I didn't do them for fun. And so far as the BW analogy, I think that's entirely incomparable. I had the chance to play against the best, and I frequently did play against some of the top teams out there, I wasn't just playing against noobs... there was every opportunity for me to play against the best of the best(not consistently, but sometimes)
There's more to competition then just muscle memory. There's a mindset, a competitive drive, discipline and structure. It isn't just about how much you practice, but how you do it, and how to live your life as well. Being fat, and living such an undisciplined life almost certainly had an impact on your in game performance.
I'm not going to deny reality and pretend dna doesn't have anything to do with it. But before we all throw our dreams in the toilet, there is more to any endeavor beyond sheer effort, there's also self reflection, self criticism, self awareness, and moderation. As human beings we don't learn as well with pressure on us, and when you go "all or nothing", thats exactly what you're doing.
Basically this
It just kinda sounds like you got obsessed with a video game and didn't think clearly about where it would lead.
There was no direction no motive no discipline.
------------------------
Similar story here with WoW arena cept I made it to the top(destroying r1 players from every bg when everyone xferred to bloodlust)
On January 12 2012 15:22 pjw wrote: Similar story here with WoW arena cept I made it to the top(destroying r1 players from every bg when everyone xferred to bloodlust)
I disagree with the statement that you just sometimes can't make it. You just need to improve at improving if that makes sense... The argument came up in an earlier post 'It isn't wrong. Not everyone is capable of following their dreams. If willpower and hard work was the only barrier to being a professional athlete, there would be a lot more people in the NBA.'
With so many people sharing one dream, you need to improve faster than everyone. Also sports are a lot different to gaming, physical injury / limitations play a MASSIVE role in any sort of sport. Gaming on the other hand is entirely about hand eye coordination and thinking.
All in all, the most valuable thing I've learned is that being number #1 is irrelevant, because soon after you are someone who is more dedicated than you(and there always will be) will dethrone you.
These days I prefer using the term challenge over competitive. I want to challenge myself to play guitar as best I can, play sc2 , play quake, play mario kart ffs AS BEST I CAN. Not for glory, not to cure any insecurities but because it's HOW I FUCKING LIKE TO DO SHIT.
Long rant from me, good blog(first one in months on TL)
Totally feel ya on the social skills, if I didnt move out of home at 18 I feel I still would be a massive loner. Luckily Wrath of the lich king ruined any fun that was WoW arena lol.
Playing an FPS game, at least, depends on reaction times, twitch shooting, hand-eye coordination, and decision making. all of which(imo) differ from person to person based on talent to begin with
aim is directly related to how good the people you are playing. Like, aim maps never really help except warming up. I found that when i was getting better, you have to play people who have better aim to get better aim, cause the better players have faster reactions and better movement, they force you to aim faster and more accurately. I honestly don't think its a talent thing, just that you were not practicing the right way. The thing that happens for a lot of people around that good but kinda not so good level of skill in team games is that they practice in ways that are really bad. Like, they will play a shit ton of aim maps, but against players with bad aim. Or they scrim a lot, against players of similar skill, so they never are forced to get better. I never think of talent, especially at such a low level of CS play, a mental hurdle blocked you, not some innate talent in the rest of players.
If anything korea's starcraft dominancs shows that mechanics is truly a developped skill. Idra can practice his mechanics all damn day in America, but if he's not playing the best his mechanics will still not be the best, same with aim or any other skill.
While it is true I often wasn't playing against the best players, that's almost irremediable since IRC and other scrim finding places are filled to the brim with people that are bad that think they're super amazing.
About idra: I think he has some of the best mechanics in the game, his decision making is just not on the super top level, and I'm not sure how that could be attributed to anything other than an innate talent?
i was talking broodwar. But no, you do pickups, and aim all day with those better than you. It sounds more like you got stuck on a hump that alot of players hit when they are trying to get better. there are sometimes distinct areas you need to break through. Also? a team that broke up, that happens all the time. Often times you need a breakout performance in CS so you can start mingling with other actual good players. basically, get through open. Next season, go like 4-12 and don't make playoffs, team probably breaks up or someone leaves from demotivation. Rinse and repeat till you get good.
EPT
