EPTFor any of you who don't like to ladder or wish they could bring themselves to do it more, this is for you:
At one point I, like many of you, had some ladder anxiety. I was sitting in the gold league, afraid to hit that find match button for fear of losing for reasons I couldn't understand. It happens. But I realized that I wouldn't ever improve if I didn't play, no matter how many streams I watched or how many VODs I scoured over. Slowly I got a much better grasp on RTS concepts and felt more confident in my ability to play. The reasons I lost were more clear to me. I knew that I could accept my mistakes and learn from then, and eventually I would improve. I got over that hump. For the most part, I conquered my ladder anxiety. I wanted to go ladder whenever I could, I enjoyed it, and losses just weren't a big deal anymore.
As much as that change in my mental approach to the ladder helped my play (I did make it to top 8 in my platinum league ^^), I recently had an experience that changed it even further. I, along with 4 of my fellow students, played our opening match in the Collegiate Star League. We, Ursinus College, played Slippery Rock University. I was scheduled to play the second match of the series, a PvP. Up until last week, my PvP was miserable. It seemed like every decision I made was wrong. I didn't want to 4-gate everything, but I just couldn't seem to keep up. I decided I was going to find a solid build to use, and got a build from Day9 and Tyler- the super quick immortal defense. I practiced it a lot, took it to the ladder, and had lots of success. PvP quickly became my best matchup. I went into my scheduled match pretty confident... unless he stole my gas. Then I would be fucked. I had never played in a game that meant anything before, I really only laddered. I didn't really know what to expect. Would I get crushed? Did my opponent practice harder than I did for this match? I am going to embarrass myself?
To make a mid-game story short, he didn't steal my gas, I executed the build, I held off his stalker pressure, and promptly stomped on his army with a 2 colossus no-range push. I won the match! And to make things better, we clinched the series 3-1, winning our first matchup of the season.
To get to the point of how that experience shaped my view of the ladder, I went to play on the ladder after my grand victory, and playing against a random opponent, playing for nothing but ladder points just felt so different. It felt like a weight was taken off my shoulders as I was playing my first game. I think I won that game- I don't know, it doesn't matter.
The next game I played, I played a Zerg player on Shakruas Plateau. I opened with the standard "hi, gl hf" to which he responded, "fuk you." Then I thought, THIS GUY IS GETTING CANNON RUSHED. I never cannon rush. I don't cheese. I don't enjoy it. But for some reason, I didn't care about that anymore. I cannon rushed him, it didn't work, and I laughed my ass off as I watched it fail miserably. It was at that point that I felt like I was different than the day before. I had just totally dicked around on the ladder and didn't take it seriously at all, and I had fun doing it. Then I realized, that's what the ladder is supposed to be!
So to those of you who find yourselves facing this 'ladder anxiety,' or who find yourself beating yourself up over loses on the ladder, take this advice: play in something that matters, even if it's just challenging someone you know to a best of three series. There are tons of tournaments for players of all leagues to sign up for. Just do it! Practice for you match, get excited, nervous, whatever. Even if you lose, who cares? You tried. Once you play something that you care about, your opinion on the ladder will change. Sometimes we just need a little perspective. If you only play on the ladder, then the ladder becomes the only thing you care about. If it's the only thing you play, it becomes all that matters to you. Playing in some tournament or show match will make you realize exactly what the ladder should be: FUN and not totally serious practice.
Hope this helps some of you.
-Spaceman
