EPT24 yo and never been on a date - Page 2
| Blogs > caruso |
|
Xyik
Canada728 Posts
| ||
|
Demonace34
United States2493 Posts
On September 20 2011 22:37 Hawk wrote: forget finding you a date, i'd like to hear more about how you had a live in gf for five years and didn't spend a mother fuckin' dime on taking her to dinner once. You turned the game on it's ear and fucked the shit out of it for free. The fuck? Those girls are usually ones with daddy issues. The best is when you have them sneaking into your house after your parents go to bed and them leaving shortly after a movie and a good time. After you get that it is hard to actually spend money and take a girl out for dinner. Advice for you. Go up to girls and look like a fool a couple times when you are nervous. Ask questions, see what they like, ask them out to do something that you both might enjoy (drinking or a movie or something spontaneous). Girls want to go on dates and get treated well most of the time...if they say no, say cool and go onto the next one. | ||
|
caruso
Germany733 Posts
On September 20 2011 23:10 EdSlyB wrote: Ladies - "Those fingers are very flexible..." Me - "You know that I play the sax too? You have to see my tongue work, baby...!" Somehow I feel I wouldn't like the kind of girl who falls for that. Also, I hate any drama. Things should be easy. | ||
|
Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On September 20 2011 22:30 Morfildur wrote: Well, you could do the same i did when i was 21 (though in the more modern facebook-variant): Go on facebook. Search for: - Female - 20+ - Living in your city - Single Then message every girl with "hey, how are you?" until one responds. Ask for a date. If no => next. Yes, i was a desperate virgin at that age :p Dear... God........ | ||
|
ComaDose
Canada10357 Posts
Damn cursed over sexual late teenage years messing with my shit. | ||
|
Flaccid
8835 Posts
On September 20 2011 22:26 caruso wrote: I considered online-dating, but it feels rather pathetic and you have to upload a picture, and looks aren't my forte, as mentioned. There is absolutely nothing wrong with online dating - I know many great couples made up of regular, good-looking people who have met online. It's simply another alternative (and in my opinion a better one) from the tedium of 'going to the bar' in order to meet women. It also removes a good chunk of the drawback as you aren't putting yourself out there in a way where you can absolutely get destroyed, retreating with what's left of your devastated self-confidence after some lady shits all over you in front of all of her friends; which I gather is something you can use. Are you actually looking for a relationship? If so, more expensive sites like eharmony separate the people who are serious about meeting someone from the larger-world of online meat-markets, such as lavalife, plentyoffish, etc. You get what you pay for. I know three couples who got married in the last year after meeting through eharmony. It's an environment where someone might be more willing to take a shot on a guy like you, seeing you as 'good relationship material' as opposed to just a pretty face and a hard dick to keep them warm for a couple of nights. Don't think of it as pathetic. Is it really any more pathetic than someone getting slobbering drunk to the tune of fucking T-Pain so that they comfortably embarrass themselves in front of scantily clad teenagers at the local club? It's probably a better fit for you. That, and you have nothing to lose. | ||
|
Vul
United States685 Posts
On September 20 2011 22:46 caruso wrote: Yeah I'm awesome. I didn't fuck for 3 months now, but yeah, I should wear a shirt saying "pussy destroyer". Come on guys, advice! Here's my best advice: As far as your looks, if you don't like your looks start going to the gym, you will feel stronger and more confident. But about the OP, when you ask a girl out, you don't want to say "will you go out on a date with me" or something like that. Instead you want to invite her to something fun, or to just get coffee/tea. If you feel really inclined to do dinner and a movie, save that shit for later. That's not a good way to get to know someone, plus it can be more tense if you are already nervous. Better to invite her to something you would want to do regardless. | ||
|
caruso
Germany733 Posts
On September 20 2011 23:38 Vul wrote: Here's my best advice: As far as your looks, if you don't like your looks start going to the gym, you will feel stronger and more confident. I have no problem with my body, I'm slim and pretty fit, that's no problem at all. Generally, I don't care about my looks. Two showers a day and a lot of care for the teeth, but that's about it. I'm not interested in fashion, I don't style my hair, I don't want contacts and all that. It just seems so tedious to spend so much time about the part of myself I care least about. | ||
|
caruso
Germany733 Posts
On September 20 2011 23:38 Flaccid wrote: There is absolutely nothing wrong with online dating - I know many great couples made up of regular, good-looking people who have met online. It's simply another alternative (and in my opinion a better one) from the tedium of 'going to the bar' in order to meet women. It also removes a good chunk of the drawback as you aren't putting yourself out there in a way where you can absolutely get destroyed, retreating with what's left of your devastated self-confidence after some lady shits all over you in front of all of her friends; which I gather is something you can use. Are you actually looking for a relationship? If so, more expensive sites like eharmony separate the people who are serious about meeting someone from the larger-world of online meat-markets, such as lavalife, plentyoffish, etc. You get what you pay for. I know three couples who got married in the last year after meeting through eharmony. It's an environment where someone might be more willing to take a shot on a guy like you, seeing you as 'good relationship material' as opposed to just a pretty face and a hard dick to keep them warm for a couple of nights. Don't think of it as pathetic. Is it really any more pathetic than someone getting slobbering drunk to the tune of fucking T-Pain so that they comfortably embarrass themselves in front of scantily clad teenagers at the local club? It's probably a better fit for you. That, and you have nothing to lose. Haha, that's really well written and made me laugh. I don't know man, you make a really good point about and for online dating, but I have strong inexplicable reservations... | ||
|
Autofire2
Pakistan290 Posts
My two cents on the general topic (not the current convo), after a fair amount of experience. Everyone and EVERYONE will talk about how you need to believe in yourself and be confident. But you know what? Almost anyone can tell when you're faking it. Guess what: to appear confident you have to DO SOMETHING WORTH BEING CONFIDENT ABOUT. This is hard (obviously, or everyone would have that magical "confidence" that gets people everything from jobs to women) but not as hard as you'd think, especially with women. This is the "macro" of being an attractive person. looks Now, some people are born more attractive than others and that's just the genetic lottery. Nothing much to be done about that, same as how some people are born more intelligent. But there are basic things EVERYONE can do to look much better, no matter how you started out. 1. Get in shape. This is great for a number of reasons, and there's an excellent thread here on TL about health and fitness. I can't tell you how incredible I felt when I lost a lot of weight (which mean't my broad shoulders finally starting working for my body type). You gain confidence IMMEDIATELY, and it shows. You don't stress about what makes you look fat and you don't get depressed about it. For guys who are too skinny, the equivalent is beefing up a little with some weights. Nothing insane; you're not looking to be a bodybuilder, just in shape. This is by far the hardest thing on this list. But its the bread and butter of feeling like an attractive person and BEING one. 2. Get a good haircut. Many people often feel they just don't have good hair, and burn with constant envy at those who get out of bed, spend a minute on their hair and look like movie stars. Here's the thing: a good haircut will, in 8 out of 10 cases, BLOW YOU AWAY with how much better you look. A stylist rather than a supercuts, essentially. 3. Stand up straight. Seriously, thats it. It's a little harder than it sounds to get in the habit of but if you always try to keep your shoulders back and your head level, you'll look better, feel 'taller' and therefore more confident. 4. Get decent clothes. You can lounge around in old tshirts with silly sayings on them at home. When you go out to the bar or a party or whatever, make an effort. I suck at fashion myself, so I let female friends much more aware than I pick for me. In the beginning, a muted but slick looking and well cut proper shirt with well fitting jeans or whatever can go a long way. social 1. Speak CLEARLY and in a relaxed way. You can't control certain emotions sometimes but you CAN control how you speak. People who are socially awkward (I used to be) tend to either mumble, or speak VERY fast, and both are very off-putting. It gives the impression you just aren't confident about what you're saying. 2. Look women (and other people) in the eye when talking. Again, that's seriously it. Like the good posture thing, its a little harder to consistently do than it is to say but not THAT hard. Lemme know if you want to hear more  I was unwell in high school...like really unwell...and being sort of shy and bookish to begin with, I was in social limbo when I finally came back. I had put on a lot of weight, and spent my days reading books and playing video games. Disgusted with myself, I finally resolved to "fix" those things about me I didn't like and which made me lose confidence in myself. | ||
|
Flaccid
8835 Posts
On September 20 2011 23:46 caruso wrote: Haha, that's really well written and made me laugh. I don't know man, you make a really good point about and for online dating, but I have strong inexplicable reservations... Get past them. Like I said, you have nothing to lose. Wait til one of the better sites has a promotion or something like that and spend a few bucks. At the very least, you might get to talk with some nice people. | ||
|
niteReloaded
Croatia5281 Posts
1. You say you don't look good, but then you say you don't care how you look. If that's true, than your attitude is perfect, nothing to change here. Women don't care too much how you look, they care how you carry yourself. 2. You've been in a long term relationship, and had multiple sexual relationships. Meaning you're not socially retarded. You've just never formally initiated contact or been on a 'real' date. To me you sound like Lewis Hamilton who's afraid of driving a certain street just because he's never been there before. TL has supplied us with numerous girl blogs, but yours isn't even a real problem. | ||
|
OpticalShot
Canada6330 Posts
On September 20 2011 23:10 EdSlyB wrote: Hell yeah!! I did the same. My ace was always the piano in the rehearsal room where my wind band played. Played some rock /soft ballads the ladies would be very relaxed and impressed: Ladies - "Those fingers are very flexible..." Me - "You know that I play the sax too? You have to see my tongue work, baby...!" Music is the key to life. Play /listen music and you'll live better and happier. Naw man that's wayyy too suggestive. It's more like, play play play... while scanning the room for targets. Acquire targets, note coordinates. Then once your fancy piece ends (or you feel like you've played enough), casually walk out the door - but make eye-contact ("eye-stamp") with your targets (they'll be looking at you), strong but brief, then casually walk out. Next time you see girl, girl will talk to you first. When I was trying to hit on choir girls though, it was more of play choir songs which will make them voluntarily join in to "practice," in which case all that needed to be done was to pick the best one and say that she needs more practice... with me volunteering to accompany, of course. After school hours, empty music room, a boy, a girl, and a piano... | ||
|
EdSlyB
Portugal1621 Posts
On September 20 2011 23:21 caruso wrote: Somehow I feel I wouldn't like the kind of girl who falls for that. Also, I hate any drama. Things should be easy. Well...that dialogue was made up. ^^ But what happened is that the girls that I would take to listen me usually got more at ease so if the date was a little 'cold' after that things would be warmer. They would see that despite being a little shy I was actually a romantic and sensitive guy. They would be at least more open to conversation and from that point onward things would go more naturally. For me, the piano was the ultimate ice breaker. And the fact that I played an instrument showed them that I wasn't a dumbass. Of course that I only took there girls that would indeed like to hang out with someone like me. The kind of girls you refer too, probably wouldn't appreciate in the slightest some guy playing piano. If I wanted those kind of girls I would bought myself a motorcycle and not a piano. ^^ Cheers. GL | ||
|
caruso
Germany733 Posts
On September 20 2011 23:59 niteReloaded wrote: OP, your 'problem' is not really a problem.. 1. You say you don't look good, but then you say you don't care how you look. If that's true, than your attitude is perfect, nothing to change here. Women don't care too much how you look, they care how you carry yourself. 2. You've been in a long term relationship, and had multiple sexual relationships. Meaning you're not socially retarded. You've just never formally initiated contact or been on a 'real' date. To me you sound like Lewis Hamilton who's afraid of driving a certain street just because he's never been there before. TL has supplied us with numerous girl blogs, but yours isn't even a real problem. I fail to see why mine isn't a problem. Maybe it's not as severe as with other people, but I start feeling increasingly badly about it and I can't muster up the courage to actually do something about it. I met none of the girls under usual circumstances. One was my roommate, a couple I met at school, one was a blind date set up by a friend's girlfriend (my first and last, I've never seen a more profoundly disappointed look on a face and I don't care to see something like that ever again. She looked like a small boy who wanted an SNES for Christmas and got a bunch of socks), one I met in WoW (lol) and so on. I initiaed none of these encounters, and I never would have been able to do it. Now that I'm too old to rely on freak-girls wanting to live out their Harry Potter fetish, I feel increasingly lonely and that sucks. | ||
|
Flaccid
8835 Posts
I wonder how many people giving advice have actually dated women as opposed to just girls. It's a very different experience. And being in his mid-20s, the OP has a pretty good chance of encountering women on his travels. tl;dr: He's not going to learn the guitar and go hang around high school band rooms. WTF. | ||
|
caruso
Germany733 Posts
On September 21 2011 00:13 Flaccid wrote: tl;dr: He's not going to learn the guitar and go hang around high school band rooms. WTF. I probably will do just that, I'm going to study music and educational psychology soon, but getting girls that way would result in me ending up in jail  Thanks for the post again. You're ofc absolutely right, girls are so different from women, which doesn't necessarily make it easier for me. | ||
|
Gamegene
United States8308 Posts
| ||
|
Fatal Fury
16 Posts
Stare at her straight in the face, eyes level, and say: "I love you so God damn much, Catherine. I would kill for you." Do not look away, do not back down. Eventually, she will blush, and that will be the sign that her pussy juices have begun overflowing. + Show Spoiler + ![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/7Zu6K.jpg) Alternatively, buy this E-Book (and seed it for us, bitch): http://www.myspacetoyourplace.com/ | ||
|
caruso
Germany733 Posts
On September 21 2011 00:31 Gamegene wrote: Just pretend you're an awesome guy. And you will be an awesome guy if you're not obnoxious. Jesus... | ||
| ||
