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What on earth was I thinking? At first, I thought it was great. My store manager likes me as a person, and a friend. I remember overhearing her talk on the phone, referring to me with the dangerous “friend” word. I was flattered.
It’s only dangerous when the friendship crosses certain lines at work. I was promoted within this company rather quickly, and I’m so grateful for the opportunities I was given. Yes, I did work very hard to become the assistant manager at the retail store we manage together. We’re an awesome team.
Except for the fact I’m trying to leave. I make more than 10.00, but less than 12.00 an hour. I don’t have any benefits. I work my ass off and I feel that occasionally I’m taken advantage of because we’re (damnit) friends! So when I was approached by a woman from one of our main competitors (Carter’s) I was definitely interested.
She came into my store and left her business card. That’s fine, it’s called networking. We’re down for that, any applications we get for associate positions that have been filled we can send her way. Cool. This time, however, I pocketed her business card and didn’t say a word to anyone. I felt like I was holding this big secret, she personally encouraged me to come in the store. She had a full time, higher paid, with benefits position open. I was immediately in love. Typically, I’m very confident when it comes to applying, interviewing, etc. But I’m terrified of leaving my store. This is my store; these are my employees and friends. My boss will lose it when/if I leave. I don’t know how to ease the idea that I could leave her, and I don’t want to tell her too soon in case this doesn’t happen. It would hurt the unprofessional relationship we have, lol.
I went into Carter’s last night, and they set me up with an interview before I even filled out the application. That interview was today, and the woman DRILLED me with questions. It was the most difficult, nerve racking interview I’ve ever had. She was intimidating. She liked me though, and made that clear. I can’t even recall how many times she said “I only hire THE BEST, nothing else is acceptable.” At the end, she mentioned there was something about me she really liked. I was set up for a second interview with the district manager immediately after.
I should totally be feeling confident. My interview with the queen of the Carter’s Columbus district is on Tuesday. I have two problems. First, they have like 6 candidates for this position. The competition concerns me; I don’t want to bring this up to my boss if they decide I’m not the right fit for their company. However, if they do offer me the position, she’s going to flip and ask why (as a friend) I wouldn’t tell her I was searching in the first place. She’s literally going to lose it. If I leave, she will be screwed. She has enough lower management on staff to get by though, so it wouldn’t be but so devastating. I sent her a three page text tonight complaining about various scheduling issues tonight. I want to build myself a lead in to this awful discussion I guess I’ll be having with her. : /
I’ve been working since I was 15 and I’ve never felt this way about leaving a job before. It’s crazy! I know it would be so much easier if I hadn’t developed such a personal relationship with the manager above me. I really regret it. I don’t want to say anything too early but I don’t want to offend her by waiting too long to mention something either… I’m at a loss! O.o
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At the end of the day you have to seek your own interest. If your boss is truly your friend then she should be glad for you to get a better opportunity. If she takes issue then sorry but she is not really your friend.
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friends come and go. if she can't be happy that you're leaving for a better place, then your manager wasn't really a great friend... if you're working a dead end job like it sounds like you are, i'd recommend taking the offer before you regret you hadn't.
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just tell her asap what youre doing, so she has time to prepare her options if you leave. By springing it on her when you already have the job, you are being a bad friend. If you tell her ahead of time and she freaks out shes being a bad friend. Although I think you should have mentioned your willingness to move on or your dissatisfaction with your low pay earlier too lol
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It's all about the cash money
Use the extra money you make to buy back your friendship with beers
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I think the best thing is to just say you were offered a different position and decided its time to move on. Don't sidestep too much with excuses of scheduling and such. Yes you are friends, and if she is a true friend she will understand that you are only doing what is best for your future. Just be honest and upfront. With any luck you two can remain friends, and if not, you still have no reason to feel bad about this.
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On August 13 2011 13:57 Malgrif wrote:
friends come and go. if she can't be happy that you're leaving for a better place, then your manager wasn't really a great friend... if you're working a dead end job like it sounds like you are, i'd recommend taking the offer before you regret you hadn't.
True. With this other company there are a lot more options, and the benefits are great. My dream is to work in an HR department (I'm a business major) so I'm not too concerned with my current (somewhat dead end, yeah..) position.
BUT. I still want the opportunity to move up in the business, especially since I may not get the job I'm looking for immediately after I graduate. I could possibly work in this current business for three or more years.
Being an adult is hard, lol!
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You did what you had to, you must always think about yourself first. You should hint to your current boss that you are dissatisfied with your current compensation at least. Surely your boss didn't think you'd stay there for life at 10 dollars an hour right? Even if you are friends that's more reason to pay you a little more.
Sounds like a lot of responsibility for you man. I worked at starbucks and got paid more than you for just making lattes. The only one you have to think about is yourself. Business is business. Friendships come second.
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On August 13 2011 14:05 moopie wrote:
I think the best thing is to just say you were offered a different position and decided its time to move on. Don't sidestep too much with excuses of scheduling and such. Yes you are friends, and if she is a true friend she will understand that you are only doing what is best for your future. Just be honest and upfront. With any luck you two can remain friends, and if not, you still have no reason to feel bad about this.
Hmm. Good point. Then she would realize why I was sidestepping and that would only (probably) upset her more.
Also, another good point - I won't have a reason to feel shitty if she's not a true friend. Thanks! My mind is cluttered with worried and I feel like I'm not thinking clearly! 
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On August 13 2011 14:10 freeloader625 wrote:
You did what you had to, you must always think about yourself first. You should hint to your current boss that you are dissatisfied with your current compensation at least. Surely your boss didn't think you'd stay there for life at 10 dollars an hour right? Even if you are friends that's more reason to pay you a little more.
Sounds like a lot of responsibility for you man. I worked at starbucks and got paid more than you for just making lattes. The only one you have to think about is yourself. Business is business. Friendships come second.
I've had multiple discussions with her about how my position as ASM with our company was severely underpaid. I make 11.00 an hour to be exact, I started there at 9.50 as an even lower level of management. They promised me more than 12.00 at first but she personally had no control on my pay rate, our company has strict policies when it comes to that stuff. 
Oh, and I love Starbucks. I dated a few barista boys in my day lol. They pay their management pretty well from what I've heard. Although, I wouldn't want to work there. Something about it seems frustrating.
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i feel you on the predicament.. i've been in similar situations before. i work in dublin and westerville(polaris) now, but i felt bad leaving my old job because my boss and i were good friends.. trust me when i say if she's really your friend, she won't hold it against you.
if you are concerned about pay/benefits though, i can probably get you a much better job.. depending on your skills.. and i know a lady i could introduce you to who is PHR certified and can possibly give you advice/step in the door in the future for your HR goal (she is PM/QM for columbus metro library ATM)
this is all, of course, assuming that you meant columbus ohio when you said columbus
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Does anyone feel like it's right to admit to looking at other jobs?
Consider if you wanted women. Most people would be against the idea of approaching multiple women and waiting for one to accept, but we apply to jobs this way. The reasoning is that employer employee standards are like this whereas relationship standards are not. You can't go into a relationship waiting for the best offer, but you can go into jobs waiting for the best offer.
It's pretty much standard that you never tell your employers if you are looking for a new job because doing so can make you sound like a bad investment and may get you laid off. The risk is that you get fired and don't get this other job. Then you could lose out on a lot of money.
Society sucks.
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Yeah I think everyone here agrees you're not getting fairly compensated. If we all know that then your boss knows it too, but she probably has a budget to work with so she tries to pay everyone the least possible (not because shes evil, but that's the job a management; increase profits at all costs). She won't harbor bad feelings if you leave unless she was using you the entire time because deep down inside she knows you're under paid. As a friend she knows that, but as a manager she won't act on it.
And yes, us barista boys are quite sexy indeed. :D
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
I work in Silicon Valley.
Changing jobs is a part of life.
If the current company loses someone, it's because they took that person for granted. They didn't meet the market
You don't tell anyone in your company that you're leaving until you have an offer, signed the papers, and the contract is in place. You don't tell them where you're going until you're physically sitting at your desk at your next place.
This is just the way it is. If your "boss" can't handle that, then that person is simply out of touch with reality.
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On August 13 2011 14:30 LaSt)ChAnCe wrote:
i feel you on the predicament.. i've been in similar situations before. i work in dublin and westerville(polaris) now, but i felt bad leaving my old job because my boss and i were good friends.. trust me when i say if she's really your friend, she won't hold it against you.
if you are concerned about pay/benefits though, i can probably get you a much better job.. depending on your skills.. and i know a lady i could introduce you to who is PHR certified and can possibly give you advice/step in the door in the future for your HR goal (she is PM/QM for columbus metro library ATM)
this is all, of course, assuming that you meant columbus ohio when you said columbus
I live in Westerville and work in Polaris! Oh man, you could probably stalk me given the info I have in this blog and others LOL. Where do you work, if you don't mind me asking? And yes, I'm always interested in furthering my career, PM me with info! :D
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What kind of friend would actually be pissed that you left the place you mutually work? Sounds like a very histronic person to me...
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On August 13 2011 13:52 SarR wrote:
At the end of the day you have to seek your own interest. If your boss is truly your friend then she should be glad for you to get a better opportunity. If she takes issue then sorry but she is not really your friend.
The guy the got in first pretty much sums up anything I'd say here. Got to look out for you're self.
Sounds like you're happy with where you work now and that’s pretty important. You got to be happy at work and enjoy going in each day. But there's no reason to suggest you wouldn't be happy at the new job you're been offered. So I would say go for it. I understand why you're hesitant though you're pretty happy with your current job and you scared of losing that.
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i work at cardinal health right now.. will PM you
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This may be the first time you do something like this, but I guarantee it won't be your last. This is just one of those things that has to play out for you to take care of yourself. It's how reality works.
Of course, be nice about it. You can always try to make it up to her somehow, but it's up to her how she reacts to it.
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EPT
