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This is really hard to talk about so sorry if it's not as eloquent as possible.
So im sure at some point or another every guy has thought that their parents are completely insane, but Im really starting to fear that for me, that it's coming true.
My mom has suffered from epilepsy and migraines for her entire life and has seizures maybe 1-2 times a year normally. Due to the medicine she takes she also gets some form of bi-polar disorder whenever her epilepsy starts acting up more severely than normal. It's become pretty much something that I've Learned to live with. Her mood swings really make her really hard to get along with but I try and see through that she really doesn't act this way and that it's not her fault.
Usually these episodes will last maybe one to two weeks, but over the past two or so months I've watched her degenerate from someone that lives with epilepsy to someone that acts like a mentally insane person. It's pretty much impossible to live with her as she is completely unpredictable and abrasive and rude.
I know most people will think that I'm just exaggerating or being unreasonable, but here are just a few examples of the things I'm talking about
1. She constantly walks around the outside of the house rearranging lawn chairs, moving things, bringing things in and out of the house. For example, today i came home today and she had moved all of the garbage cans in the house and barricaded the entrance to the driveway.
2. She's convinced that running electricity like computers and air conditioners is the cause of her seizures. She also started believing in ghosts.
3. The other day we were at the boat club and she would not stop laughing for no reason. She told us that there was a crowd around her and the only way to get them away was to keep laughing.
4. Her temper is extremely short and shell go on rampages around the house throwing things around and yelling or blatantly insulting everyone. The other day she went into the basement and switched the main circuit breaker off, and blew a fuse or something. We had no power until an electrician could fix it. This was only because my sister had slept late until 11 (not an uncommon occurrence at all). I basically left the house and spent the next 2 days sleeping at a LAN cafe because she was being incredibly abusive and insulting.
5. She is often violently abusive, and she steals money from my and my sisters room because she 'deserves it' (she is the inheritor of a massive trust fund, it's not like she's short on money)
6. She talks to herself as if there are people talking to her.
I mean, I really don't know what to do. My father is out all the time working which makes it hard to rely on him to be able to bring her back down to earth. I've tried talking to her but she gets all defensive, and talking to her starts to become like talking to cleverbot. Shell start yelling random unrelated things.
Really is there anything I can do. Every time I suggest to my dad to take her to a psychologist he says it wouldn't do anything.
I know I'm an adult and can just leave, but I honestly have nowhere to go and am still searching for a real job until I attend college next year.
Anyways, at the very least, writing things down helps me relieve the stress of the situation.
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Man, that's a tough situation.
She has a medical condition so it's not really her fault that she's like that but at the same time you shouldn't have to live with that kind of abuse. Even then.. it's your mother so you kind of have a duty to help her out and stick with her.
My advice is to make sure she's taking any medications she's been given... and perhaps go see a doctor or psychiatrist (psychologist might be useless... they can't prescribe drugs), tell them about her worsening condition, and see if there is any necessary change in medication.
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I'm no expert here, but it doesn't sound like your mom is going to spontaneously overcome these new problems. Your dad says taking her to a psychologist won't help, but in the unlikely event that he's right, it certainly can't hurt. She really needs some help. How long before she does something stupid that causes some serious harm or puts a member of your family in danger? The things you're describing are very serious.
You could try talking to a psychiatrist about it. That way, you don't have to try and persuade anyone in your family to do anything, and a psychiatrist will know better than anyone what to do. Besides that, I'm sure there are some smart people here on TL that have more specialized knowledge about mental health issues.
If she can be helped, your mom will thank you for your initiative later.
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United States13896 Posts
Wait so she is taking medicine for the migranes and that brought on these symptoms? Or were the migranes a symptom and she regularly takes this medicine to treat her bipolar disorder?
I'm guessing she takes depakote (or divalproex or Valproic acid whatev you wanna call it) as it is used both to treat seizures and bipolar disorder. What your describing sounds like an extreme manic episode. I would say that the best thing you can do is to get her to see a specialist, you may need to reevaluate the prescribed dosage of the medicine she is taking. Definitely get her to see someone. The swings (both Manic and Depressive) can be mitigated as long as she is seeking help and taking the right meds. Doing nothing at such a point is the last thing I would suggest.
edit: If you get nothing else out of this post, I'd suggest you talk to an expert yourself (if you can't get her to see one) and describe the situation and learn the best way you can help her. Look for a support group that deals with mental illnesses. At the very least they can help you better understand and cope with it.
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Really is there anything I can do. Every time I suggest to my dad to take her to a psychologist he says it wouldn't do anything.
Yeah she should definitely be seeing a psychiatrist. She's clearly very unwell. There may be some medication that would help her situation. One would hope that if her psychosis is caused by her medication than an alternative could be found as that's a ridiculously severe side-effect.
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It sounds like she is developing schizophrenia. My aunt developed schizophrenia, and it got worse and worse, and eventually she separated from other people and got to where she was living in her car in some random parking lot. It's been a battle for my family to get her to seek help. A battle which has been lasting years. Your mom doesn't sound like she is far off from this...
Anyways good luck with that, you should probably seek advice from an expert.. it's hard to predict how these things will go.
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Psychiatrist and psychologist assistance are very important, and the sooner the better. Bring up the side-affects with your family doctor and ask for recommendations, you should not let shame or personal difficulties get in the way.
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On August 08 2011 16:22 Hakker wrote:
I know I'm an adult and can just leave, but I honestly have nowhere to go and am still searching for a real job until I attend college next year.
I'd say that your top priority should be getting help, so you are not dealing with the problem alone. Here are some steps you can take in this direction.
1. Talk to your close family members, your sister and your father. Lay out your concerns clearly, with evidence. (Make sure you can talk to them without your mother suspecting, paranoia is a bitch.)
2. It's really hard when someone close to you has a mental illness. Consider bringing an older cousin, aunt, or uncle into the conversation. They might be able to provide a neutral perspective, and also might be helpful in convincing your father that something has to be done.
3. As for non-family help, getting your mother to a psychiatrist might be difficult as a first step. I like Primadog's suggestion of consulting a family doctor. A trusted teacher or other mentor might also be a good first step, especially if #2 is not an option.
This is based on my wife's struggle with her mother's mental illness. Hope you can find something that works, good luck.
Edit: these suggestions assume you are worried that she is getting mentally ill, but they also apply if you just want help coping with your mother while she has these side effects.
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I really think that she needs to see a psychiatrist but convincing my father that that's necessary has been impossible because he thinks that it will just pass. The problem I see with this is that the last time she got anywhere near this bad, and I try to make him see that this is much worse than it has ever been, it ended with my mom having a breakdown and physically attacked my dad for no reason while he was asleep.
The twisted thing is that my mom called the police on him for holding her down while she attacked him and he nearly went to jail. There's also the fact that whenever my dad tries to confront her about the way she's acting or basically disagrees with her in any way she threatens to divorce him. My dad is an amazing guy and is probably one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet, I really look up to him and to see him caught in this pains me as much as seeing my mother in this situation.
Are there really any avenues I have for seeking psychiatric help without money? Until I find a job I'm basically living off savings at the moment. Even just talking to someone and getting their recommendations would be huge.
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What State are you in? Are your family on a health care plan?
From the sound of it, your mom needs your support right now. It will be hard work and painful for you, but it'll be worth the effort, and in the end, she'll be thankful that her son pull through in her time of need.
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are you shitting me? get her to a psychiatric unit ASAP
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this is a medical emergency phone up the hospital and get it sorted
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My grandfather had epilepsy growing up and it affected his entire life like this. I really believe that the stigma he received growing up was the source of all his problems. He was very obsessive-compulsive about some things (like your mother is) and he did all kinds of weird shit. He used to yell at people, fall down staircases, forget how to blow his nose, refuse to leave the house until everything was perfect, occasionally lose control of his bowels, the list goes on. He smoked like a fiend, and I bet that it de-stressed him a lot. His father basically treated him like crap because of his epilepsy, and with help he probably could have lived a much more normal life.
My ex-girlfriend also had childhood onset epilepsy and OCD. One was probably a cause of the other. It's a real tough condition to deal with, let me tell you. She would do things so totally abnormal and find ways to justify them with ass-backwards logic. She really needed help, but no one could give it to her but herself (her immediate family basically checked out on her years ago, and she puts on an act for everyone but her sister, who besides me is the only one who knows how bad it is).
You can help your mother. Talk to your sister then the both of you try to convince your dad. She could be much better, let me tell you.
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These are definately symptoms of schizophrenia. This is a condition which can be controlled with medicine, but you really should get her to a psychiatrist.
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Get her to a psychiatrist now, before it is too late.
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If it wasn't already going on for 2 months I would have said that she might have suffered a big epileptic episode that caused a part of her brain to swell up and press upon other parts of her brain.
It is not unheard of for something like that to happen if you bang your head up really good in a heavy episode and it would explain why she sees things that aren't there all of a sudden. Especially if the swelling presses upon the optic nerves.
But normally such a swelling should slink again on it's own I think and not last for 2 months...
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in other cultures mental problems like these are cured by "love". you can try get a psychotherapy or whatever, but instead of discussing/arguing with her, just honestly love her. let her do whatever and just respond with love. don't get upset. just love!  .. there is a very great chance that this will help her a lot. but if you get upset inside and still pretend to be loving, it won't work. you have to honestly just love.
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On August 08 2011 17:21 Hakker wrote:
I really think that she needs to see a psychiatrist but convincing my father that that's necessary has been impossible because he thinks that it will just pass. The problem I see with this is that the last time she got anywhere near this bad, and I try to make him see that this is much worse than it has ever been, it ended with my mom having a breakdown and physically attacked my dad for no reason while he was asleep.
The twisted thing is that my mom called the police on him for holding her down while she attacked him and he nearly went to jail. There's also the fact that whenever my dad tries to confront her about the way she's acting or basically disagrees with her in any way she threatens to divorce him. My dad is an amazing guy and is probably one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet, I really look up to him and to see him caught in this pains me as much as seeing my mother in this situation.
Are there really any avenues I have for seeking psychiatric help without money? Until I find a job I'm basically living off savings at the moment. Even just talking to someone and getting their recommendations would be huge.
Looking at your post and the behavior you describe it sounds like a very stressful situation. When living right in the middle of something like you and your dad are it's easy to miss the bigger perspective and normalize what is happening, at least until looking at it in retrospect. I think it's clear from what you are writing that it's a severe situation, that your mother is in need of help, and that it's not something that will just pass.
You seem aware of this but not your father and I think he is the person who needs to be convinced. Tell him about what is going on and how it affects you, like you not wanting to come home, and how you are worried about your mother. If you can't get through to him maybe you could write a letter because that is harder to ignore. (On a side note, are you sure you know everything about your mothers condition and what they have done about it in the past?).
It's hard to say exactly what might be wrong. Things like delusions and talking to people who aren't there are pretty severe symptoms. Maybe it's mania, maybe it's a side effect of the medications, maybe schizophrenia, maybe something else entirely. A psychiatrist looking into the matter should be able to tell and also treat it.
I don't know about the US medical system or who you could talk to about it, hopefully someone else does. It's not all on your shoulders and not your responsability but I think talking to your father is a good first step. Hope it sorts itself out.
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there are plenty of meds that people take for manic depression or bi polar disorder. she needs to be on them or she may accidentally hurt herself or others. It is not uncommon for people with these symptoms to commit suicide as well.
Get a bunch of info on the disorders and the meds and make a presentation to show your father. Make notes of all the crazy shit your mom does so he makes the connections.
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EPT
