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Girl Help !! - Page 3

Blogs > FFGenerations
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Grobyc
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada18410 Posts
July 29 2011 03:21 GMT
#41
Going to hop on the "you got friend zoned" boat, especially with that "we've been "best friends" for 3-4 years" opener. If you honest to god could not live without knowing if it would work then you need to be honest with her and find out her feelings. If she says she just wants you as a friend you are 100% fucked, instead of currently just being 95% fucked.
If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a benevolent lizard who helps rebuild a city and then moonwalks into the ocean.
hongo
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
207 Posts
July 29 2011 03:38 GMT
#42
Sorry dude, that friends barrier is impossible to break!
taldarimAltar
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
973 Posts
July 29 2011 03:42 GMT
#43
Pretend to get drunk and hug her real tight, then if she likes you she'll reciprocate, if not i don't think it'll work out man.
skyrunner
Profile Joined August 2009
371 Posts
July 29 2011 03:57 GMT
#44
On July 29 2011 12:42 taldarimAltar wrote:
Pretend to get drunk and hug her real tight, then if she likes you she'll reciprocate, if not i don't think it'll work out man.

hahah this is genius.

im gonna try it with random girls i know if i can
kOre
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
Canada3642 Posts
July 29 2011 04:04 GMT
#45
On July 29 2011 12:57 skyrunner wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 29 2011 12:42 taldarimAltar wrote:
Pretend to get drunk and hug her real tight, then if she likes you she'll reciprocate, if not i don't think it'll work out man.

hahah this is genius.

im gonna try it with random girls i know if i can

YEAAAAH BRO! it works with randoms pretty well actually lol
http://www.starcraftmecca.net - Founder
Djabanete
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States2786 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-29 04:24:13
July 29 2011 04:20 GMT
#46
Talk to her.

I don't want to give a lot of personal details, but I've been in a similar situation, and following the above advice worked out wonderfully.
May the BeSt man win.
Ushio
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada868 Posts
July 29 2011 04:34 GMT
#47
On July 29 2011 10:52 Azzur wrote:
I'm sorry to say this, but you have almost 0% chance. Get acquainted with the ladder theory: http://www.laddertheory.com/

You're the classic definition of the "cuddle bitch": http://www.laddertheory.com/laddermanifestations.htm

It's a bad position to be in because most of them think that they are in the right ladder when they are not.

As for the future, the advice that I'll give is that girls are not attracted to guys who are hesitant. Be confident, take risks - you'll make mistakes but you'll be better off.


You just solved the game. Laddertheory is amazing
http://myanimelist.net/profile/billng
itachisan
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
Canada109 Posts
July 29 2011 04:50 GMT
#48
On July 29 2011 11:12 kOre wrote:
just pull her in and don't think about it, do this a couple times and she'll get the hint and then the next time PUCKER UP AND GO FOR IT :D

if she reacts negatively to you pulling her in (say when you are sitting on a couch watching a movie or something) then ... yeah lol


In all seriousness, I agree with this. I mean...what do you have to lose?
You want to continue being her pet? Or would you rather get down to the bottom of this and move on. Being her "friend" is clearly bothering you, because you want to know how she feels about you.

If the kissy kissy kiss turns out good, congrats. If not, worse thing that could happen is you enduring the rest of your stay with her being awkward, then after that you move on to better things.

Take a gamble. It's a win-win situation!
taldarimAltar
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
973 Posts
July 29 2011 07:28 GMT
#49
On July 29 2011 13:04 kOre wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 29 2011 12:57 skyrunner wrote:
On July 29 2011 12:42 taldarimAltar wrote:
Pretend to get drunk and hug her real tight, then if she likes you she'll reciprocate, if not i don't think it'll work out man.

hahah this is genius.

im gonna try it with random girls i know if i can

YEAAAAH BRO! it works with randoms pretty well actually lol

The pretense of being drunk give you the license to do almost anything at night, it even gives you the opportunity to start a conversation the next time you see her.
"Sorry bout that night, i was real drunk and what exactly did I do?"
SarR
Profile Joined June 2011
476 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-29 11:36:27
July 29 2011 11:33 GMT
#50
When are you people gonna get this...
Alpha gets the pussy.
Beta gets to cuddle.

You werent "alpha" enough and got "zoned". The guy who danced with her 3 times is definately alpha. His chances of fucking her is way higher than yours.

When will guys fuckin get this.....YOU DONT GET PUSSY BY BEING SWEET AND AFFECTIONATE AND SUPPORTIVE and all that other bullshit. You WILL get "ZONED"...God!! come on already guys get with it please for the love of God.

The next girl blog I see better be about someone nailing their neighbor's step-daughter while her mom sleeps in the next room!!!
Hassybaby
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United Kingdom10823 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-29 12:09:55
July 29 2011 12:09 GMT
#51
On July 29 2011 20:33 SaRrAceN wrote:
When are you people gonna get this...
Alpha gets the pussy.
Beta gets to cuddle.

You werent "alpha" enough and got "zoned". The guy who danced with her 3 times is definately alpha. His chances of fucking her is way higher than yours.

When will guys fuckin get this.....YOU DONT GET PUSSY BY BEING SWEET AND AFFECTIONATE AND SUPPORTIVE and all that other bullshit. You WILL get "ZONED"...God!! come on already guys get with it please for the love of God.

The next girl blog I see better be about someone nailing their neighbor's step-daughter while her mom sleeps in the next room!!!



Well there's always one idiot in each of these girl blogs. Glad that's out of the way

Just go for it next time. You gotta go all-in at some point to win the game, so just give it a try. Worst case, it because awkward between you guys for a bit. But if you've been best friends for years, you should be ok.

Not doing something is always worse, even if what you do is wrong. At least you know where you are then
"These guys are mindfucking me into a sex coma" | "Mayonnaise is a must-have lubricant when performing necrophilia"
OpticalShot
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada6330 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-29 12:41:59
July 29 2011 12:41 GMT
#52
Well if you have no alternative place to stay besides her place, risking a bold move might result in lots of awkwardness. At the same time, however, risking the move as quickly as possible allows you to have the remaining time fucking the living hell out of her. Okay maybe you don't want exactly that, but you get a ton of time to do romantic things that may or may not include sex.

SO TAKE THE RISK

One of my friends (who's pretty good with the ladies) always used to remind me, "there is no friendship between men and women." By an extension of that, there is only different levels of attraction - similar to the ladder theory that was linked previously in this thread. Clearly, with this girl, the level of attraction she gives off to you is pretty damn high. Attraction levels change for various reasons over time, so it doesn't matter if you were her best friend for many years, things can change.

If you can't find the perfect moment to pull the trigger, grab a couple drinks and down them (with her). You can drink with her in the privacy of her place with nobody else, how easy can this be? With decent pace control you should be able to reach the tipsy stage without getting knocked out, make sure she's about the same (control your pace accordingly), then you know what to do after that.

Oh and no need to list a lengthy story of explanations and crap to her, just grab her and stare into her eyes for a bit and she'll get it.
[TLMS] REBOOT
TheGiz
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Canada708 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-29 13:11:09
July 29 2011 13:09 GMT
#53
Basically, when you start hanging out with a girl you have to make a move within 2 meetings. That is, of course, if she's already someone you know. You can hang out together once and get away with not making a move, since you're just setting up the acquaintance, but the second time there better be some physical, unambiguous connection that indicates that you want some kind of sexual interaction with her. Generally, a girl will probably see you in that context at that time and go along with it.

If you go too long without going forward, expect to be permanently locked in the friend category. You are now just a piece of entertainment for her, and she will take your emotional support while satisfying her more raw physical needs with less sensitive and more aggressive men. You're basically wasting your time if you think you can get a relationship out of it.

The exception to the above rule is if you started out established as friends, and you initially never considered screwing around with that person. That might result in some UST that builds and has the potential to be acted on. This can happen with friends' girlfriends or roommates and the like (whom you're not initially friends with).

If you're friends with a girl you're attracted to, you can either lay it on the line or try more annoying coy shit like stroking their hair for ten years, OR just lay down and accept it. Sometimes it's nice to have a good girl friend (who you'd totally bone in a second, I know) whom you get along with and just leave it at that - that's probably how she sees the situation anyways.



For your specific situation, I'd say you're way too far gone. Either you have to step up your attraction (PUA style) and pray it works, or lay it all on the line and hope for the best. If it doesn't work you're just going to have to lay down and accept that you'll never be more than just friends, or better yet, GET OUT OF THAT SITUATION.
Life is not about making due with what you have; it's about finding out just how much you can achieve. Never settle for anything less than the best. - - - Read my blog!
Servius_Fulvius
Profile Joined August 2009
United States947 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-29 13:55:13
July 29 2011 13:53 GMT
#54
On July 29 2011 11:14 FFGenerations wrote:
nice post from a guy i relate to, including about the "friend zone" thing being BS
its really hard for me, i do feel like i miss opportunities and am passive when i shouldnt be - like im TOO careful,


From your OP to this response, I've gotta say that you sound EXACTLY like I did in high school.

This is not a compliment. I was pathetic in high school. I spent two years after some girl constantly wanting to do things like hold hands, put an arm around her, kiss, etc.

But I never did.

Why?

Because I was an idiot!

Don't be an idiot.

You have three options:

1). Follow your gut and make a move.
She may totally go for it, but she could also slap you in the face! This is a "high risk high reward" option; I personally don't think it's the right move for you.

2). Tell her how you feel.
I think this is the best option for you. If I learned anything from my years of unrequited love, it's that telling her and getting it over with is FAR less painful than torturing myself with it for a long period of time. Relationships are built on communication and you're not communicating. You can hear the "we're just friends" line, or she could totally go for you. She's not a mind-reader, so you shouldn't bank on nonverbal communication to convey your point. Take the chance and go for it!

3). Do Nothing
Keep the present course of action. This will drive you insane. You will start becoming more reckless around her, say stupid things, and anger easily. Been there, done that, NOT FUN! Grow a pair and do something already!

There is no 100% safe option. Sorry. I know you don't want to feel this way, but action without 100% assurance of success is your only way out. Good luck!

krndandaman
Profile Joined August 2009
Mozambique16569 Posts
July 29 2011 14:35 GMT
#55
--- Nuked ---
Knightlax
Profile Joined July 2010
United States150 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-29 14:52:40
July 29 2011 14:51 GMT
#56
I kind of like the post [2 spots] above me. If I were in your shoes, I'd find a place to sit down with her and "tell her how you feel". That doesn't mean you tell her "I love you, I want to be w/ you, etc.", but what you do say is something like:

Listen, we've been friends for years but the truth is that I'm attracted to you. I've been here for 5 days and I'm kind of losing my sanity. In the past I've brought up the "relationship thing" and you weren't interested, so I've also spent a lot of time trying to keep it friends only. But that's not going to work for me. Spending just 5 days with you, in another country no less, is enough to frustrate every emotion I have. Not a smart move on my part. On one hand, I don't want to ruin our friendship, but on the other hand, I want a relationship that goes beyond being "just friends". I think it wiser to keep my sanity, even if that means scaling back my contact with you to next to nothing.

I wouldn't use that word-for-word because every situation is unique, but I think that gives you somethings to think about. Just make sure to:

1. Tell her how you feel (about her) and what you're feeling (about you)
2. Be willing to step away from the whole thing, and tell her you will

In all honesty, she probably wont respond the way you hope. There will probably be some part of her that says to herself "I don't need this right now" or "this is unfair of him". If anything, it will take some time for her to come around if she does come around at all. Make sure you don't get mad at her (though its okay if you're mad/frustrated in general). But whatever you do, don't keep doing what you've been doing, you will drive yourself insane, and no one wants to be in a relationship with an insane person.
eVolvE342
Profile Joined January 2011
157 Posts
July 29 2011 15:15 GMT
#57
You say that you aren't really good at saying interesting things and that you tend to "nerd out" midway through conversations. That is ok. You don't have to be talking her down all the time (in fact thats probably not a good thing). Just find a few topics that are broad that you know she likes to talk about. Careful observe her. Toss slight joking comments about little things she does that you find "cute" "funny" or wutever. Girls will be surprised if you remember little things and bring them back up later. Say she laughed about something at time A, keep that in mind so that you can make a similar remark if something happens at time B that will remind her of her laughter. If you are uncomfortable with your conversation skills just pick your moments wisely. Emphasize the quality of what you say over the quantity. Though this isn't to say that you should creepily never say anything, thats obviously not a good thing. (not everything you say will be a hit though. even professional speech writers and comedians have their off days)

Remember shes already your friend so there is no point in playing the "bad boy" card or seriously changing the way you act around her. So what you need to do is showcase your most sexual attractive attributes.

Also as far as nerding out goes, if you are nerdy your gonna have to embrace that (we all all in some way or another) but you don't have to be ultra nerdy around her. It is ok to sensor yourself in conversation (but don't completely change who you are, that could come back to hurt you in the end). Girls don't mind a little nerdiness they just generally don't want to be showered in nerd talk. Also different nerdy topics carry different weight. Find out what her nerdy habits are (we all have them if you look hard enough) and "tailor" your nerdiness to things she can relate to.

StorkHwaiting
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States3465 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-29 16:02:41
July 29 2011 16:00 GMT
#58
On July 29 2011 23:51 Knightlax wrote:
I kind of like the post [2 spots] above me. If I were in your shoes, I'd find a place to sit down with her and "tell her how you feel". That doesn't mean you tell her "I love you, I want to be w/ you, etc.", but what you do say is something like:

Listen, we've been friends for years but the truth is that I'm attracted to you. I've been here for 5 days and I'm kind of losing my sanity. In the past I've brought up the "relationship thing" and you weren't interested, so I've also spent a lot of time trying to keep it friends only. But that's not going to work for me. Spending just 5 days with you, in another country no less, is enough to frustrate every emotion I have. Not a smart move on my part. On one hand, I don't want to ruin our friendship, but on the other hand, I want a relationship that goes beyond being "just friends". I think it wiser to keep my sanity, even if that means scaling back my contact with you to next to nothing.

I wouldn't use that word-for-word because every situation is unique, but I think that gives you somethings to think about. Just make sure to:

1. Tell her how you feel (about her) and what you're feeling (about you)
2. Be willing to step away from the whole thing, and tell her you will

In all honesty, she probably wont respond the way you hope. There will probably be some part of her that says to herself "I don't need this right now" or "this is unfair of him". If anything, it will take some time for her to come around if she does come around at all. Make sure you don't get mad at her (though its okay if you're mad/frustrated in general). But whatever you do, don't keep doing what you've been doing, you will drive yourself insane, and no one wants to be in a relationship with an insane person.


This is all wrong. You're assuming women respond to logic and reason and show empathy towards guys they aren't sleeping with/want to sleep with. That's probably why you ended your suggestion with the disclaimer that it probably won't work lol.

He'd be a million times better off coming home with another drunk girl and fucking her brains out while his "best friend" has to listen to them go at it all night from the next room.

Or, if he's in very good shape, he should make sure to come out of the shower and have the towel fall just as she turns to say hi. She will then be staring at his penis and chiseled muscles in the comfort of her own home. Instant sex.

Or he should get drunk, walk naked into her room at night, and get into bed with her and start "cuddling" like he always does except this time with a raging boner jabbing into her ass through her jammies.

Lastly, he could just walk into her room with his shirt off holding a 9" dildo in his left hand and his own dick in his right. Then stare right into her eyes and say "You are going to experience satisfaction now. One way or another." And then descend upon her with manic abandon.

In general though, women tend to respond well to nudity and aggression. That's if you're fit and good looking at least. If not, rubber band a wad of hundred dollar bills around your dick and carry a suitcase full of more money in each hand. Open the suitcases if she's still being tepid.
Roffles *
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
Pitcairn19291 Posts
July 29 2011 16:10 GMT
#59
^Wat?
God Bless
Hassybaby
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United Kingdom10823 Posts
July 29 2011 16:13 GMT
#60
On July 30 2011 01:00 StorkHwaiting wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 29 2011 23:51 Knightlax wrote:
I kind of like the post [2 spots] above me. If I were in your shoes, I'd find a place to sit down with her and "tell her how you feel". That doesn't mean you tell her "I love you, I want to be w/ you, etc.", but what you do say is something like:

Listen, we've been friends for years but the truth is that I'm attracted to you. I've been here for 5 days and I'm kind of losing my sanity. In the past I've brought up the "relationship thing" and you weren't interested, so I've also spent a lot of time trying to keep it friends only. But that's not going to work for me. Spending just 5 days with you, in another country no less, is enough to frustrate every emotion I have. Not a smart move on my part. On one hand, I don't want to ruin our friendship, but on the other hand, I want a relationship that goes beyond being "just friends". I think it wiser to keep my sanity, even if that means scaling back my contact with you to next to nothing.

I wouldn't use that word-for-word because every situation is unique, but I think that gives you somethings to think about. Just make sure to:

1. Tell her how you feel (about her) and what you're feeling (about you)
2. Be willing to step away from the whole thing, and tell her you will

In all honesty, she probably wont respond the way you hope. There will probably be some part of her that says to herself "I don't need this right now" or "this is unfair of him". If anything, it will take some time for her to come around if she does come around at all. Make sure you don't get mad at her (though its okay if you're mad/frustrated in general). But whatever you do, don't keep doing what you've been doing, you will drive yourself insane, and no one wants to be in a relationship with an insane person.


This is all wrong. You're assuming women respond to logic and reason and show empathy towards guys they aren't sleeping with/want to sleep with. That's probably why you ended your suggestion with the disclaimer that it probably won't work lol.

He'd be a million times better off coming home with another drunk girl and fucking her brains out while his "best friend" has to listen to them go at it all night from the next room.

Or, if he's in very good shape, he should make sure to come out of the shower and have the towel fall just as she turns to say hi. She will then be staring at his penis and chiseled muscles in the comfort of her own home. Instant sex.

Or he should get drunk, walk naked into her room at night, and get into bed with her and start "cuddling" like he always does except this time with a raging boner jabbing into her ass through her jammies.

Lastly, he could just walk into her room with his shirt off holding a 9" dildo in his left hand and his own dick in his right. Then stare right into her eyes and say "You are going to experience satisfaction now. One way or another." And then descend upon her with manic abandon.

In general though, women tend to respond well to nudity and aggression. That's if you're fit and good looking at least. If not, rubber band a wad of hundred dollar bills around your dick and carry a suitcase full of more money in each hand. Open the suitcases if she's still being tepid.


Do every single one of these suggestions, then your cell mate in jail can do them as well!
"These guys are mindfucking me into a sex coma" | "Mayonnaise is a must-have lubricant when performing necrophilia"
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