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On October 30 2011 14:40 yourwhiteshadow wrote:Show nested quote +On October 30 2011 14:32 iamahydralisk wrote:On October 30 2011 14:22 ODieN wrote:On October 30 2011 14:14 iamahydralisk wrote:
oh fuuuuck a cute korean girl asked me out D: ...and what did you do? told her I needed time to think. ie I'm going to sleep on it and see how I feel in the morning. too late. shoulda said yes first, then think about it later. now, she's going to wonder if you've already got a gf. some girls aren't into being the side dish, they wanna be the main entree, you better hope she doesn't pick up on this.
I already told the korean girl I'm dating another girl, but I'm unhappy with it and I need to talk to my girlfriend first. I feel like this is the best course of action because if I say yes, I'm A. cheating on my girlfriend, and B. leading the korean girl on. it wouldn't be fair to either of them if I said yes.
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On October 30 2011 14:50 iamahydralisk wrote:Show nested quote +On October 30 2011 14:40 yourwhiteshadow wrote:On October 30 2011 14:32 iamahydralisk wrote:On October 30 2011 14:22 ODieN wrote:On October 30 2011 14:14 iamahydralisk wrote:
oh fuuuuck a cute korean girl asked me out D: ...and what did you do? told her I needed time to think. ie I'm going to sleep on it and see how I feel in the morning. too late. shoulda said yes first, then think about it later. now, she's going to wonder if you've already got a gf. some girls aren't into being the side dish, they wanna be the main entree, you better hope she doesn't pick up on this. I already told the korean girl I'm dating another girl, but I'm unhappy with it and I need to talk to my girlfriend first. I feel like this is the best course of action because if I say yes, I'm A. cheating on my girlfriend, and B. leading the korean girl on. it wouldn't be fair to either of them if I said yes.
that's not the point. the point is, if you do decide later on not to pursue the korean girl, then you can politely decline. if you do choose to pursue korean girl, you'd be better off keeping her in the dark about your ex. nobody likes to hear or know about exes, because it makes you seem like you aren't ready to move on. if she's serious about dating you, then she'll constantly be wondering whether you have moved on and whether you have actually broken up with your ex and no longer have feelings for her. your choice though.
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It's too late now, cause I already told her. I don't regret it though. I think honesty is the best policy and I pretty much have a mantra to never cheat on a girl. In my mind, saying yes to go on a date with another girl is cheating.
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man, hydralisk's life is pretty damn amusing.
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On October 29 2011 17:28 IotaSC wrote:
Wow this is a gigantic blog/thread ._. Cool to see you helping people out IKL.
Just to see what your or others' thoughts might be, I figured I'd ask. I don't really have a relationship-related problem or anything, at the moment it isn't really that big of a deal to me with where I'm at (just started college this semester, somewhat enjoying just doing whatever, interest clubs, and music/independence).
However, what makes me feel like I should feel like it's a big deal is that I've never been in a relationship to date. Ever. Probably because I lacked confidence moreso before than now, partly cuz I was in a very small highschool whose "clicks" solidified too quickly to transcend, and because I overthink things. I generally don't act on impulse, and because I knew I didn't want silly and trivial weeks-months relationships I simply didn't try to get a girlfriend simply for the sake of it. The only situation related I was ever in was when SHE asked ME, but I wasn't really into her that way or at the very least knew that the distance (diff. colleges) would totally not work. Also, she was kinda ditzy, and at the least I learned from it moreso that I want someone I can talk to, not necessarily that is super intellectual, but just chill at the very least.
At this point having had no prior experience with dating and such, I'm sort of hoping that when I find someone and it seems like it'd work, I would at least try to talk/get to know them better, or capitalize in some way rather than just letting them pass by. The issue is I don't really know how to tell if someone seems interested/flirty, or even just wanting to know me or be more friendly, partly because I never encounter anything like this (anti-social kinda, and the clubs i'm in aren't exactly conducive to many or desirable girl members). Perhaps it's because I seem to lack confidence or have my head in the clouds to others, but I don't really think the former is the case now, maybe the latter.
Basically, I'm okay with not dating randomly and waiting until I feel like I really would want to date/get to know someone better, but I wondered what your thoughts might be given my odd past-present void or relationships/experience. Do I want to find someone and a meaningful relationship? Absolutely. Though sooner would be nicer than later, I wouldn't say I feel totally driven or obligated by societal pressures to at all. Perhaps I should just work on actually making more friends that are girls >.> kinda hard to do given that gaming club and anime club are quite lacking...
Oh, and good luck to all the people that have like super srs bsns current moral dilemmas or relationship issues that are really haunting them, and I tend to believe that a mentally objective state is best in most fragile/volatile situations, relationship-related or not.
Why has no one commented on this yet?!?!?!?!?!
Anyways, you sound a lot like me when I got to college. I never grew the balls to ask out my high school crush/borderline obsession, so my experience was quite lacking. I didn't meet my first girlfriend until February of my second year (I was almost 20.5). Don't sweat it - as long as you're making the effort and meeting lots of people it's very likely to happen. In the mean time ask yourself: what kind of relationship am I looking for?
Saying something like "I want to see if it would work" isn't very clear. The way I see it there's two ways you can go: (a) short term relationships where you go for immediate companionship (and, most the time, a sexual outlet) or (b) long term relationships where you seriously evaluate if you want to share your life with this person. Obviously with (a) you will meet a wider variety of women and experience a lot while with (b) you're shooting for quality over quantity. This isn't an absolute scale and there are certainly many circumstances where a short term fling turns into a longer relationship, but my point is that you should be going after what you WANT.
Concerning your social situations, there's an easy fix for that. A wise syndicated advice columnist (Harlen Cohen) says the key to meeting more people in college is to put yourself in more rooms. What does this mean? For starters, your gaming and anime club are two separate rooms. Gauge your interests and visit special interest groups that specialize in it. If you already did that, then try something new. There's really no harm in it instead of, say, two hours of less ladder time? Religious (or non-religious) groups, free workout sessions, student government, and volunteer activities are great places to start looking. The idea is meeting a large quantity of people instead of waiting for your first girlfriend to meet you. I'm dating my third girlfriend right now (we met years ago through an online marching band forum); I met my first through a residence hall dance and my second tagged along to a party of friends I met through a childish games organization.
Since you're also single, you may as well take the opportunity to delve more into what your goals, desires, and interests are. What better time for self-improvement?
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Thanks alot for responding Servius, I wondered if anyone would actually end up having seen it! I appreciate hearing your experience it being somewhat similar to mine, and it's good to know that just because I might not have experience doesn't mean that I can't still find someone mostly just by meeting people and whatnot.
Yeah, I guess I didn't say clearly in that post but I most definitely am only really looking for (b) long term, and quality over quantity is definitely what I'm going for.
I agree with the whole social situation thing, though part of it for me is that while I'm a part of a manipulative arts club (Juggling, Poi, Glowstringing, pen spinning (the one I do and have done for 2 years), etc), and the anime and gaming ones as I said, for the most part the few girls that end up being a part of them don't really fit my interests. So part of the issue isn't that I'm doing too little, I almost spread myself too thinly in my hobbies to an extent, though often they're ones not in clubs, it's kinda more that the things I'm doing aren't really the best settings for meeting girls...
Guess I should see if we have some other, casual, interest clubs that aren't as niche/mostly-guy-oriented that I'd still enjoy ^^
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On November 02 2011 02:19 Mogwai wrote:
man, hydralisk's life is pretty damn amusing.
it gets better bro. my girlfriend slept with some other guy and broke up with me. even after I was pretty much a boss for her.
I'm hurt, but eh... at least I can pursue korean girl without feeling guilty.
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On November 02 2011 12:45 iamahydralisk wrote:Show nested quote +On November 02 2011 02:19 Mogwai wrote:
man, hydralisk's life is pretty damn amusing. it gets better bro. my girlfriend slept with some other guy and broke up with me. even after I was pretty much a boss for her. I'm hurt, but eh... at least I can pursue korean girl without feeling guilty.
sometimes I seriously wonder if you're just pulling all our chains by pretending the plot to some obscure sitcom is your life :p. it's very complicated and dramatic, lol.
good luck with korean girl!
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Yeah, I can't believe people could ever be like that.....you mean the world to her one day, she's willing to give you up if it's what's best for you because she loves you so much, and then she all of a sudden turns on a dime, fucks some dude and leaves you? Messed up man, ditto on that good luck with the korean girl!
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ex girlfriend says she still loves me and she wants to try the relationship again when she moves here (possibly in January, possibly later). I'd be willing to give it another shot if she was here to stay... but until then, I'm going to date around and see where that leads me.
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Moar update. She wanted to come here this coming Saturday because there was a concert we'd had plans to go to for a while, but we got into another fight and it looks like that won't be happening. We got into a fight because she's been cold as ice lately and basically treating me like shit. She's been acting completely apathetic towards me and our relationship in general. Stuff like... The fact that she wanted to just drive down for the day of the concert and leave the same day (before, she would've wanted to stay the entire weekend, but now I'm apparently not even worth spending the night for), and when we were talking about how we would act together (would we act like a couple, or just friends, etc), she didn't seem to give a damn about that at all. And there were other things... like, we'd be talking about something important and I'd ask her a question, and her response would be "I don't care." Just stuff like that.
Here's the last text I sent her and it's the last text I plan on sending her unless she has some sort of epiphany and stops being a heartless bitch. Name removed just to make sure.
"Okay, you know what? If you're going to ignore me and treat me like I'm nothing to you... then don't come. I can't do this, (name removed). I can't put my heart and soul into something that won't give me anything back. I still don't really get why you're being so cold. You're not thinking about what this is doing to me... Maybe you want me to hurt. I don't know. Whatever though... This is over for now. We can try when you get here, but for now, I can't do this. I deserve better than someone who treats me like dirt and takes me for granted. If you realize what you're doing and change your mind, talk to me."
And that's it. It hurts like hell to say things like that because I really do want to see her, but at this point, I seriously just can't. I've been in a relationship before where it was literally 99% my effort and 1% hers, and I will never ever go back to that again. I don't mean to sound conceited, but I know I'm a good guy (note: not a typical "nice guy." I have a pair and I know how to use it lol) and I treated this ex incredibly well. If she can't even take the time out of her day to fucking text me back, then I say fuck her. I just refuse to be in any sort of relationship, friendship or otherwise, where I feel like the other person doesn't care at all. It's hard to care about someone when their actions suggest that they don't feel the same. Even though this hurts pretty damn bad... Deep down, I'm glad because I know it's for the better. I need to move on, and talking to her, seeing her, etc... Would make it impossible for me to do that.
So that's the end of this story, I guess. I'm more ranting than anything else at this point... Any advice or comments are welcome.
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On November 07 2011 05:18 iamahydralisk wrote:
"Okay, you know what? If you're going to ignore me and treat me like I'm nothing to you... then don't come. I can't do this, (name removed). I can't put my heart and soul into something that won't give me anything back. I still don't really get why you're being so cold. You're not thinking about what this is doing to me... Maybe you want me to hurt. I don't know. Whatever though... This is over for now. We can try when you get here, but for now, I can't do this. I deserve better than someone who treats me like dirt and takes me for granted. If you realize what you're doing and change your mind, talk to me."
And that's it. It hurts like hell to say things like that because I really do want to see her, but at this point, I seriously just can't. I've been in a relationship before where it was literally 99% my effort and 1% hers, and I will never ever go back to that again. I don't mean to sound conceited, but I know I'm a good guy (note: not a typical "nice guy." I have a pair and I know how to use it lol) and I treated this ex incredibly well. If she can't even take the time out of her day to fucking text me back, then I say fuck her. I just refuse to be in any sort of relationship, friendship or otherwise, where I feel like the other person doesn't care at all. It's hard to care about someone when their actions suggest that they don't feel the same. Even though this hurts pretty damn bad... Deep down, I'm glad because I know it's for the better. I need to move on, and talking to her, seeing her, etc... Would make it impossible for me to do that.
So that's the end of this story, I guess. I'm more ranting than anything else at this point... Any advice or comments are welcome.
Well, I hate to say it but your text is pretty whiny. There's nothing less attractive than a guy who wines about how he's treated all the time. The proper response to a girl treating you badly is to call her on it and ignore her until she changes. This will make you feel better about yourself, and it will also make her more attracted to you.
Gratz on manning up. You did the right thing. It sounds like you let it drag on a lot longer than you should have! But live and learn.
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On November 07 2011 06:36 ziggurat wrote:Show nested quote +On November 07 2011 05:18 iamahydralisk wrote:
"Okay, you know what? If you're going to ignore me and treat me like I'm nothing to you... then don't come. I can't do this, (name removed). I can't put my heart and soul into something that won't give me anything back. I still don't really get why you're being so cold. You're not thinking about what this is doing to me... Maybe you want me to hurt. I don't know. Whatever though... This is over for now. We can try when you get here, but for now, I can't do this. I deserve better than someone who treats me like dirt and takes me for granted. If you realize what you're doing and change your mind, talk to me."
And that's it. It hurts like hell to say things like that because I really do want to see her, but at this point, I seriously just can't. I've been in a relationship before where it was literally 99% my effort and 1% hers, and I will never ever go back to that again. I don't mean to sound conceited, but I know I'm a good guy (note: not a typical "nice guy." I have a pair and I know how to use it lol) and I treated this ex incredibly well. If she can't even take the time out of her day to fucking text me back, then I say fuck her. I just refuse to be in any sort of relationship, friendship or otherwise, where I feel like the other person doesn't care at all. It's hard to care about someone when their actions suggest that they don't feel the same. Even though this hurts pretty damn bad... Deep down, I'm glad because I know it's for the better. I need to move on, and talking to her, seeing her, etc... Would make it impossible for me to do that.
So that's the end of this story, I guess. I'm more ranting than anything else at this point... Any advice or comments are welcome. Well, I hate to say it but your text is pretty whiny. There's nothing less attractive than a guy who wines about how he's treated all the time. The proper response to a girl treating you badly is to call her on it and ignore her until she changes. This will make you feel better about yourself, and it will also make her more attracted to you. Gratz on manning up. You did the right thing. It sounds like you let it drag on a lot longer than you should have! But live and learn.
It's funny because that text actually made her admit I was right and then she decided she wanted to come again... So I don't even fucking know. I can definitely see where you're coming from about how women hate whiny guys and I'm normally not like that at all, but it's hard to be cold and emotionless about something when you actually care a shit ton.
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From now on though, I'm gonna try to be more nonchalant about everything. The main reason I texted her that is because I was trying to get some sort of reaction out of her... you might say that's immature, but like I said, I was fucking sick of her "I don't give a damn" attitude.
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On November 07 2011 14:13 iamahydralisk wrote:Show nested quote +On November 07 2011 06:36 ziggurat wrote:On November 07 2011 05:18 iamahydralisk wrote:
"Okay, you know what? If you're going to ignore me and treat me like I'm nothing to you... then don't come. I can't do this, (name removed). I can't put my heart and soul into something that won't give me anything back. I still don't really get why you're being so cold. You're not thinking about what this is doing to me... Maybe you want me to hurt. I don't know. Whatever though... This is over for now. We can try when you get here, but for now, I can't do this. I deserve better than someone who treats me like dirt and takes me for granted. If you realize what you're doing and change your mind, talk to me."
And that's it. It hurts like hell to say things like that because I really do want to see her, but at this point, I seriously just can't. I've been in a relationship before where it was literally 99% my effort and 1% hers, and I will never ever go back to that again. I don't mean to sound conceited, but I know I'm a good guy (note: not a typical "nice guy." I have a pair and I know how to use it lol) and I treated this ex incredibly well. If she can't even take the time out of her day to fucking text me back, then I say fuck her. I just refuse to be in any sort of relationship, friendship or otherwise, where I feel like the other person doesn't care at all. It's hard to care about someone when their actions suggest that they don't feel the same. Even though this hurts pretty damn bad... Deep down, I'm glad because I know it's for the better. I need to move on, and talking to her, seeing her, etc... Would make it impossible for me to do that.
So that's the end of this story, I guess. I'm more ranting than anything else at this point... Any advice or comments are welcome. Well, I hate to say it but your text is pretty whiny. There's nothing less attractive than a guy who wines about how he's treated all the time. The proper response to a girl treating you badly is to call her on it and ignore her until she changes. This will make you feel better about yourself, and it will also make her more attracted to you. Gratz on manning up. You did the right thing. It sounds like you let it drag on a lot longer than you should have! But live and learn. It's funny because that text actually made her admit I was right and then she decided she wanted to come again... So I don't even fucking know. I can definitely see where you're coming from about how women hate whiny guys and I'm normally not like that at all, but it's hard to be cold and emotionless about something when you actually care a shit ton.
for whatever it's worth, I think your text was perfectly reasonable. guys love to shell out advice about what girls like and find attractive, but they're mostly just blowing smoke out their ass. just be yourself. if you really feel the way you said you did in that text message, it's asinine to think you should be bullshitting someone you're thinking of being in a relationship with just to make yourself seem more attractive, IMO.
The whole idea of dating as a game and how you need to project yourself and all that crap kinda pisses me off. It might get you casually laid better than being yourself, but if you're looking for a real partnership, honesty is the best policy if you ask me.
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On November 08 2011 02:49 Mogwai wrote:Show nested quote +On November 07 2011 14:13 iamahydralisk wrote:On November 07 2011 06:36 ziggurat wrote:On November 07 2011 05:18 iamahydralisk wrote:
"Okay, you know what? If you're going to ignore me and treat me like I'm nothing to you... then don't come. I can't do this, (name removed). I can't put my heart and soul into something that won't give me anything back. I still don't really get why you're being so cold. You're not thinking about what this is doing to me... Maybe you want me to hurt. I don't know. Whatever though... This is over for now. We can try when you get here, but for now, I can't do this. I deserve better than someone who treats me like dirt and takes me for granted. If you realize what you're doing and change your mind, talk to me."
And that's it. It hurts like hell to say things like that because I really do want to see her, but at this point, I seriously just can't. I've been in a relationship before where it was literally 99% my effort and 1% hers, and I will never ever go back to that again. I don't mean to sound conceited, but I know I'm a good guy (note: not a typical "nice guy." I have a pair and I know how to use it lol) and I treated this ex incredibly well. If she can't even take the time out of her day to fucking text me back, then I say fuck her. I just refuse to be in any sort of relationship, friendship or otherwise, where I feel like the other person doesn't care at all. It's hard to care about someone when their actions suggest that they don't feel the same. Even though this hurts pretty damn bad... Deep down, I'm glad because I know it's for the better. I need to move on, and talking to her, seeing her, etc... Would make it impossible for me to do that.
So that's the end of this story, I guess. I'm more ranting than anything else at this point... Any advice or comments are welcome. Well, I hate to say it but your text is pretty whiny. There's nothing less attractive than a guy who wines about how he's treated all the time. The proper response to a girl treating you badly is to call her on it and ignore her until she changes. This will make you feel better about yourself, and it will also make her more attracted to you. Gratz on manning up. You did the right thing. It sounds like you let it drag on a lot longer than you should have! But live and learn. It's funny because that text actually made her admit I was right and then she decided she wanted to come again... So I don't even fucking know. I can definitely see where you're coming from about how women hate whiny guys and I'm normally not like that at all, but it's hard to be cold and emotionless about something when you actually care a shit ton. for whatever it's worth, I think your text was perfectly reasonable. guys love to shell out advice about what girls like and find attractive, but they're mostly just blowing smoke out their ass. just be yourself. if you really feel the way you said you did in that text message, it's asinine to think you should be bullshitting someone you're thinking of being in a relationship with just to make yourself seem more attractive, IMO. The whole idea of dating as a game and how you need to project yourself and all that crap kinda pisses me off. It might get you casually laid better than being yourself, but if you're looking for a real partnership, honesty is the best policy if you ask me.
Ya but whining is different from being honest. The most attractive thing to women is confidence. If you know at a very deep level that if you lose this girl then you can easily find another one just as hot or hotter, then you won't care nearly as much about how she treats you. If she's bitchy you'll just forget about her and find another girl.
If you have this kind of confidence women can sense it, and they realize that they can't get away with treating you badly. And they don't. It's truly amazing to see what kind of difference confidence makes to a relationship. It's like if your GF becomes way hotter you'll probably be a lot nicer to her ... well it's the same thing if you become way more confident.
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On November 09 2011 13:11 ziggurat wrote:Show nested quote +On November 08 2011 02:49 Mogwai wrote:On November 07 2011 14:13 iamahydralisk wrote:On November 07 2011 06:36 ziggurat wrote:On November 07 2011 05:18 iamahydralisk wrote:
"Okay, you know what? If you're going to ignore me and treat me like I'm nothing to you... then don't come. I can't do this, (name removed). I can't put my heart and soul into something that won't give me anything back. I still don't really get why you're being so cold. You're not thinking about what this is doing to me... Maybe you want me to hurt. I don't know. Whatever though... This is over for now. We can try when you get here, but for now, I can't do this. I deserve better than someone who treats me like dirt and takes me for granted. If you realize what you're doing and change your mind, talk to me."
And that's it. It hurts like hell to say things like that because I really do want to see her, but at this point, I seriously just can't. I've been in a relationship before where it was literally 99% my effort and 1% hers, and I will never ever go back to that again. I don't mean to sound conceited, but I know I'm a good guy (note: not a typical "nice guy." I have a pair and I know how to use it lol) and I treated this ex incredibly well. If she can't even take the time out of her day to fucking text me back, then I say fuck her. I just refuse to be in any sort of relationship, friendship or otherwise, where I feel like the other person doesn't care at all. It's hard to care about someone when their actions suggest that they don't feel the same. Even though this hurts pretty damn bad... Deep down, I'm glad because I know it's for the better. I need to move on, and talking to her, seeing her, etc... Would make it impossible for me to do that.
So that's the end of this story, I guess. I'm more ranting than anything else at this point... Any advice or comments are welcome. Well, I hate to say it but your text is pretty whiny. There's nothing less attractive than a guy who wines about how he's treated all the time. The proper response to a girl treating you badly is to call her on it and ignore her until she changes. This will make you feel better about yourself, and it will also make her more attracted to you. Gratz on manning up. You did the right thing. It sounds like you let it drag on a lot longer than you should have! But live and learn. It's funny because that text actually made her admit I was right and then she decided she wanted to come again... So I don't even fucking know. I can definitely see where you're coming from about how women hate whiny guys and I'm normally not like that at all, but it's hard to be cold and emotionless about something when you actually care a shit ton. for whatever it's worth, I think your text was perfectly reasonable. guys love to shell out advice about what girls like and find attractive, but they're mostly just blowing smoke out their ass. just be yourself. if you really feel the way you said you did in that text message, it's asinine to think you should be bullshitting someone you're thinking of being in a relationship with just to make yourself seem more attractive, IMO. The whole idea of dating as a game and how you need to project yourself and all that crap kinda pisses me off. It might get you casually laid better than being yourself, but if you're looking for a real partnership, honesty is the best policy if you ask me. Ya but whining is different from being honest. The most attractive thing to women is confidence. If you know at a very deep level that if you lose this girl then you can easily find another one just as hot or hotter, then you won't care nearly as much about how she treats you. If she's bitchy you'll just forget about her and find another girl. If you have this kind of confidence women can sense it, and they realize that they can't get away with treating you badly. And they don't. It's truly amazing to see what kind of difference confidence makes to a relationship. It's like if your GF becomes way hotter you'll probably be a lot nicer to her ... well it's the same thing if you become way more confident.
That text was 100% honesty. I'm not trying to sound conceited, but I'm one of the most confident people I know. it's what got me the concert girl in the first place. I legit believe I can have any girl I want if I find what makes them tick and use it to my advantage.
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On November 09 2011 13:11 ziggurat wrote:Show nested quote +On November 08 2011 02:49 Mogwai wrote:On November 07 2011 14:13 iamahydralisk wrote:On November 07 2011 06:36 ziggurat wrote:On November 07 2011 05:18 iamahydralisk wrote:
"Okay, you know what? If you're going to ignore me and treat me like I'm nothing to you... then don't come. I can't do this, (name removed). I can't put my heart and soul into something that won't give me anything back. I still don't really get why you're being so cold. You're not thinking about what this is doing to me... Maybe you want me to hurt. I don't know. Whatever though... This is over for now. We can try when you get here, but for now, I can't do this. I deserve better than someone who treats me like dirt and takes me for granted. If you realize what you're doing and change your mind, talk to me."
And that's it. It hurts like hell to say things like that because I really do want to see her, but at this point, I seriously just can't. I've been in a relationship before where it was literally 99% my effort and 1% hers, and I will never ever go back to that again. I don't mean to sound conceited, but I know I'm a good guy (note: not a typical "nice guy." I have a pair and I know how to use it lol) and I treated this ex incredibly well. If she can't even take the time out of her day to fucking text me back, then I say fuck her. I just refuse to be in any sort of relationship, friendship or otherwise, where I feel like the other person doesn't care at all. It's hard to care about someone when their actions suggest that they don't feel the same. Even though this hurts pretty damn bad... Deep down, I'm glad because I know it's for the better. I need to move on, and talking to her, seeing her, etc... Would make it impossible for me to do that.
So that's the end of this story, I guess. I'm more ranting than anything else at this point... Any advice or comments are welcome. Well, I hate to say it but your text is pretty whiny. There's nothing less attractive than a guy who wines about how he's treated all the time. The proper response to a girl treating you badly is to call her on it and ignore her until she changes. This will make you feel better about yourself, and it will also make her more attracted to you. Gratz on manning up. You did the right thing. It sounds like you let it drag on a lot longer than you should have! But live and learn. It's funny because that text actually made her admit I was right and then she decided she wanted to come again... So I don't even fucking know. I can definitely see where you're coming from about how women hate whiny guys and I'm normally not like that at all, but it's hard to be cold and emotionless about something when you actually care a shit ton. for whatever it's worth, I think your text was perfectly reasonable. guys love to shell out advice about what girls like and find attractive, but they're mostly just blowing smoke out their ass. just be yourself. if you really feel the way you said you did in that text message, it's asinine to think you should be bullshitting someone you're thinking of being in a relationship with just to make yourself seem more attractive, IMO. The whole idea of dating as a game and how you need to project yourself and all that crap kinda pisses me off. It might get you casually laid better than being yourself, but if you're looking for a real partnership, honesty is the best policy if you ask me. Ya but whining is different from being honest. The most attractive thing to women is confidence. If you know at a very deep level that if you lose this girl then you can easily find another one just as hot or hotter, then you won't care nearly as much about how she treats you. If she's bitchy you'll just forget about her and find another girl. If you have this kind of confidence women can sense it, and they realize that they can't get away with treating you badly. And they don't. It's truly amazing to see what kind of difference confidence makes to a relationship. It's like if your GF becomes way hotter you'll probably be a lot nicer to her ... well it's the same thing if you become way more confident.
So what i got from this post was, if a girl is bitchy to you, leave her ass and avoid the original issue? Without even attempting to try and fix said issue? People will always try to push a boundary in a relationship (friends and lovers) and its up to you to draw the line. I agree that if the person keeps treating you like shit after you've confronted them, you need to burn the bridge, but to avoid the problem or think its not there is just silly.
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On November 09 2011 13:11 ziggurat wrote:Show nested quote +On November 08 2011 02:49 Mogwai wrote:On November 07 2011 14:13 iamahydralisk wrote:On November 07 2011 06:36 ziggurat wrote:On November 07 2011 05:18 iamahydralisk wrote:
"Okay, you know what? If you're going to ignore me and treat me like I'm nothing to you... then don't come. I can't do this, (name removed). I can't put my heart and soul into something that won't give me anything back. I still don't really get why you're being so cold. You're not thinking about what this is doing to me... Maybe you want me to hurt. I don't know. Whatever though... This is over for now. We can try when you get here, but for now, I can't do this. I deserve better than someone who treats me like dirt and takes me for granted. If you realize what you're doing and change your mind, talk to me."
And that's it. It hurts like hell to say things like that because I really do want to see her, but at this point, I seriously just can't. I've been in a relationship before where it was literally 99% my effort and 1% hers, and I will never ever go back to that again. I don't mean to sound conceited, but I know I'm a good guy (note: not a typical "nice guy." I have a pair and I know how to use it lol) and I treated this ex incredibly well. If she can't even take the time out of her day to fucking text me back, then I say fuck her. I just refuse to be in any sort of relationship, friendship or otherwise, where I feel like the other person doesn't care at all. It's hard to care about someone when their actions suggest that they don't feel the same. Even though this hurts pretty damn bad... Deep down, I'm glad because I know it's for the better. I need to move on, and talking to her, seeing her, etc... Would make it impossible for me to do that.
So that's the end of this story, I guess. I'm more ranting than anything else at this point... Any advice or comments are welcome. Well, I hate to say it but your text is pretty whiny. There's nothing less attractive than a guy who wines about how he's treated all the time. The proper response to a girl treating you badly is to call her on it and ignore her until she changes. This will make you feel better about yourself, and it will also make her more attracted to you. Gratz on manning up. You did the right thing. It sounds like you let it drag on a lot longer than you should have! But live and learn. It's funny because that text actually made her admit I was right and then she decided she wanted to come again... So I don't even fucking know. I can definitely see where you're coming from about how women hate whiny guys and I'm normally not like that at all, but it's hard to be cold and emotionless about something when you actually care a shit ton. for whatever it's worth, I think your text was perfectly reasonable. guys love to shell out advice about what girls like and find attractive, but they're mostly just blowing smoke out their ass. just be yourself. if you really feel the way you said you did in that text message, it's asinine to think you should be bullshitting someone you're thinking of being in a relationship with just to make yourself seem more attractive, IMO. The whole idea of dating as a game and how you need to project yourself and all that crap kinda pisses me off. It might get you casually laid better than being yourself, but if you're looking for a real partnership, honesty is the best policy if you ask me. Ya but whining is different from being honest. The most attractive thing to women is confidence. If you know at a very deep level that if you lose this girl then you can easily find another one just as hot or hotter, then you won't care nearly as much about how she treats you. If she's bitchy you'll just forget about her and find another girl. If you have this kind of confidence women can sense it, and they realize that they can't get away with treating you badly. And they don't. It's truly amazing to see what kind of difference confidence makes to a relationship. It's like if your GF becomes way hotter you'll probably be a lot nicer to her ... well it's the same thing if you become way more confident.
what was even whiny about it? can you re-write that message without changing the meaning in a less "whiny" way?
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On November 10 2011 01:12 Mogwai wrote:Show nested quote +On November 09 2011 13:11 ziggurat wrote:On November 08 2011 02:49 Mogwai wrote:On November 07 2011 14:13 iamahydralisk wrote:On November 07 2011 06:36 ziggurat wrote:On November 07 2011 05:18 iamahydralisk wrote:
"Okay, you know what? If you're going to ignore me and treat me like I'm nothing to you... then don't come. I can't do this, (name removed). I can't put my heart and soul into something that won't give me anything back. I still don't really get why you're being so cold. You're not thinking about what this is doing to me... Maybe you want me to hurt. I don't know. Whatever though... This is over for now. We can try when you get here, but for now, I can't do this. I deserve better than someone who treats me like dirt and takes me for granted. If you realize what you're doing and change your mind, talk to me."
And that's it. It hurts like hell to say things like that because I really do want to see her, but at this point, I seriously just can't. I've been in a relationship before where it was literally 99% my effort and 1% hers, and I will never ever go back to that again. I don't mean to sound conceited, but I know I'm a good guy (note: not a typical "nice guy." I have a pair and I know how to use it lol) and I treated this ex incredibly well. If she can't even take the time out of her day to fucking text me back, then I say fuck her. I just refuse to be in any sort of relationship, friendship or otherwise, where I feel like the other person doesn't care at all. It's hard to care about someone when their actions suggest that they don't feel the same. Even though this hurts pretty damn bad... Deep down, I'm glad because I know it's for the better. I need to move on, and talking to her, seeing her, etc... Would make it impossible for me to do that.
So that's the end of this story, I guess. I'm more ranting than anything else at this point... Any advice or comments are welcome. Well, I hate to say it but your text is pretty whiny. There's nothing less attractive than a guy who wines about how he's treated all the time. The proper response to a girl treating you badly is to call her on it and ignore her until she changes. This will make you feel better about yourself, and it will also make her more attracted to you. Gratz on manning up. You did the right thing. It sounds like you let it drag on a lot longer than you should have! But live and learn. It's funny because that text actually made her admit I was right and then she decided she wanted to come again... So I don't even fucking know. I can definitely see where you're coming from about how women hate whiny guys and I'm normally not like that at all, but it's hard to be cold and emotionless about something when you actually care a shit ton. for whatever it's worth, I think your text was perfectly reasonable. guys love to shell out advice about what girls like and find attractive, but they're mostly just blowing smoke out their ass. just be yourself. if you really feel the way you said you did in that text message, it's asinine to think you should be bullshitting someone you're thinking of being in a relationship with just to make yourself seem more attractive, IMO. The whole idea of dating as a game and how you need to project yourself and all that crap kinda pisses me off. It might get you casually laid better than being yourself, but if you're looking for a real partnership, honesty is the best policy if you ask me. Ya but whining is different from being honest. The most attractive thing to women is confidence. If you know at a very deep level that if you lose this girl then you can easily find another one just as hot or hotter, then you won't care nearly as much about how she treats you. If she's bitchy you'll just forget about her and find another girl. If you have this kind of confidence women can sense it, and they realize that they can't get away with treating you badly. And they don't. It's truly amazing to see what kind of difference confidence makes to a relationship. It's like if your GF becomes way hotter you'll probably be a lot nicer to her ... well it's the same thing if you become way more confident. what was even whiny about it? can you re-write that message without changing the meaning in a less "whiny" way?
If the person sending the text is determined to say "you're being mean to me and it's hurting my feelings," then you're right, there's probably no way to say that without sounding whiny. But if the message is "I don't want you to come because lately you're not fun to hang around with" then it's easy to say that in a non-whiny way.
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