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On October 19 2011 14:40 dapierow wrote: So, I don't usually need help with girls or anything but when im in university and try to talk to girls, it always seems like I don't know whether it is just a conversation or maybe I should pursue it into something more, seems a lot more difficult because unlike meeting a girl in a mall, you may see her more often and she might totally think your a creep if you try to hit on her, otherwise at the mall its like ok ill never see her again, or at work where you see her almost every day, or at the bar when your totally drunk. School seems like a hidden treasure for picking up girls but I just don't know how to make the change from a conversation to "lets go date and possibly fuck". I mean I usually start off with the "you look familiar, do we have any classes together?" when she answers "i dont think so" I ask "what program are you in?" and then I talk about how im such a geek and am in computer science (i look like the gym/jock/jerseyshore guy). Maybe im just afraid that I look really creepy in the uni, or the fact if i get rejected, that when i see her again ill feel embarrassed. Hell the fact that after I do go on a date or fuck her and i do avoid her and she sees me at school WDF do i do. Ive never picked up a girl from school, but really want to because since of all the benefits of fucking a student: cheap,place on campus/free of parents/roommates(School is almost all single dorms), and of course drunken dorm parties. Some facts of my school: full of hotties and was rate the #1 school for girls in canada in UMM(urban male magazine).
Wtf bro, who approaches random chicks at school. You only do that at nightclubs and bars. Pickup is creepy at school. Gotta build your social circle and your coolness and socialness and see girls as friends and highways to more girls. Then since you are friends/leader of cool people and girls, then girls come onto you since you're the cool guy, and people are okay with the cool guy dating tons of girls. Not hey random girl, I just had one night stand with you. Cool! now I can't f any of your hot friends cuz I got into your pants being creepy without thinking of seeing you a second time and you cockblock me from all the other hot girls. The people who are trying to "pickup" girls at school(I see them) are creepy and it's obvious they want to get in the girls pants WITH ALL HER FRIENDS AROUND, WHO MIGHT JUDGE HER HAVING SEX WITH A RANDOM STRANGER THEY MET FOR THE FIRST TIME.
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On October 19 2011 14:49 0123456789 wrote:Show nested quote +On October 19 2011 14:40 dapierow wrote: So, I don't usually need help with girls or anything but when im in university and try to talk to girls, it always seems like I don't know whether it is just a conversation or maybe I should pursue it into something more, seems a lot more difficult because unlike meeting a girl in a mall, you may see her more often and she might totally think your a creep if you try to hit on her, otherwise at the mall its like ok ill never see her again, or at work where you see her almost every day, or at the bar when your totally drunk. School seems like a hidden treasure for picking up girls but I just don't know how to make the change from a conversation to "lets go date and possibly fuck". I mean I usually start off with the "you look familiar, do we have any classes together?" when she answers "i dont think so" I ask "what program are you in?" and then I talk about how im such a geek and am in computer science (i look like the gym/jock/jerseyshore guy). Maybe im just afraid that I look really creepy in the uni, or the fact if i get rejected, that when i see her again ill feel embarrassed. Hell the fact that after I do go on a date or fuck her and i do avoid her and she sees me at school WDF do i do. Ive never picked up a girl from school, but really want to because since of all the benefits of fucking a student: cheap,place on campus/free of parents/roommates(School is almost all single dorms), and of course drunken dorm parties. Some facts of my school: full of hotties and was rate the #1 school for girls in canada in UMM(urban male magazine). Wtf bro, who approaches random chicks at school. You only do that at nightclubs and bars. Pickup is creepy at school. Gotta build your social circle and your coolness and socialness and see girls as friends and highways to more girls. Then since you are friends/leader of cool people and girls, then girls come onto you since you're the cool guy, and people are okay with the cool guy dating tons of girls. Not hey random girl, I just had one night stand with you. Cool! now I can't f any of your hot friends cuz I got into your pants being creepy without thinking of seeing you a second time and you cockblock me from all the other hot girls. The people who are trying to "pickup" girls at school(I see them) are creepy and it's obvious they want to get in the girls pants WITH ALL HER FRIENDS AROUND, WHO MIGHT JUDGE HER HAVING SEX WITH A RANDOM STRANGER THEY MET FOR THE FIRST TIME. Uh dude, there's absolutely nothing wrong with approaching random girls at school (or most other places, for that matter.) Take me, for example. I met my current girlfriend when I randomly approached her at a concert. Started talking to her, got a conversation going, and the rest is history. You have a really narrow mindset on dating if you actually think you can only approach women at bars or clubs.
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On October 19 2011 15:09 iamahydralisk wrote:Show nested quote +On October 19 2011 14:49 0123456789 wrote:On October 19 2011 14:40 dapierow wrote: So, I don't usually need help with girls or anything but when im in university and try to talk to girls, it always seems like I don't know whether it is just a conversation or maybe I should pursue it into something more, seems a lot more difficult because unlike meeting a girl in a mall, you may see her more often and she might totally think your a creep if you try to hit on her, otherwise at the mall its like ok ill never see her again, or at work where you see her almost every day, or at the bar when your totally drunk. School seems like a hidden treasure for picking up girls but I just don't know how to make the change from a conversation to "lets go date and possibly fuck". I mean I usually start off with the "you look familiar, do we have any classes together?" when she answers "i dont think so" I ask "what program are you in?" and then I talk about how im such a geek and am in computer science (i look like the gym/jock/jerseyshore guy). Maybe im just afraid that I look really creepy in the uni, or the fact if i get rejected, that when i see her again ill feel embarrassed. Hell the fact that after I do go on a date or fuck her and i do avoid her and she sees me at school WDF do i do. Ive never picked up a girl from school, but really want to because since of all the benefits of fucking a student: cheap,place on campus/free of parents/roommates(School is almost all single dorms), and of course drunken dorm parties. Some facts of my school: full of hotties and was rate the #1 school for girls in canada in UMM(urban male magazine). Wtf bro, who approaches random chicks at school. You only do that at nightclubs and bars. Pickup is creepy at school. Gotta build your social circle and your coolness and socialness and see girls as friends and highways to more girls. Then since you are friends/leader of cool people and girls, then girls come onto you since you're the cool guy, and people are okay with the cool guy dating tons of girls. Not hey random girl, I just had one night stand with you. Cool! now I can't f any of your hot friends cuz I got into your pants being creepy without thinking of seeing you a second time and you cockblock me from all the other hot girls. The people who are trying to "pickup" girls at school(I see them) are creepy and it's obvious they want to get in the girls pants WITH ALL HER FRIENDS AROUND, WHO MIGHT JUDGE HER HAVING SEX WITH A RANDOM STRANGER THEY MET FOR THE FIRST TIME. Uh dude, there's absolutely nothing wrong with approaching random girls at school (or most other places, for that matter.) Take me, for example. I met my current girlfriend when I randomly approached her at a concert. Started talking to her, got a conversation going, and the rest is history. You have a really narrow mindset on dating if you actually think you can only approach women at bars or clubs.
i concur, pick up girls anywhere. work, school, club, concert, sc2, css server, at a starbucks, at the drive thru, w/e...
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I'd even go as far as saying that picking up girls in random places might be better than picking them up at a bar or whatever, because it takes way more balls to pick a girl up at a grocery store than it does at a bar... and if the girl realizes that, she'll be more likely to take a liking to you.
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On October 19 2011 15:31 iamahydralisk wrote: I'd even go as far as saying that picking up girls in random places might be better than picking them up at a bar or whatever, because it takes way more balls to pick a girl up at a grocery store than it does at a bar... and if the girl realizes that, she'll be more likely to take a liking to you.
isn't it just more fun anyways? and personally, i don't think i'd date a girl who's constantly clubbing/bar hopping.
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United Kingdom10823 Posts
On October 19 2011 15:32 yourwhiteshadow wrote:Show nested quote +On October 19 2011 15:31 iamahydralisk wrote: I'd even go as far as saying that picking up girls in random places might be better than picking them up at a bar or whatever, because it takes way more balls to pick a girl up at a grocery store than it does at a bar... and if the girl realizes that, she'll be more likely to take a liking to you. isn't it just more fun anyways? and personally, i don't think i'd date a girl who's constantly clubbing/bar hopping.
I never found much success at clubs, because the girls are either too drunk, or the music is too damn loud to hear anything properly. I agree though, there's no rule to stick to picking up girls only at bars. Though, I haven't seen the situation that you've described hydra, with me or my friends.
I'm sure its happened though, just not around the crowd I hung out in at uni. Most of the pick-ups happened at the Freshers' Week events during that day, interestingly
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United Kingdom10823 Posts
Also, welcome back thread, I missed you
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The creep factor thing is just something to get used to with life, it's not just a school thing. It also applies to friends/family of friends and coworkers. Basically you just need to consider the likelyhood of having to see and interact with this person under other circumstances when considering a relationship with them. Usually if this is someone you're likely to have to interact with, you should be more careful about entering a relationship with them to avoid social awkwardness, especially if you're just looking for a hook-up.
At least that's my take on it all. There was a brief period where I thought about asking my brother's girlfriend's sister out, but ultimately I thought it was a stupid idea since I would have to see her somewhat regularly and if things went bad, that would be ridiculously awkward. Glad I made that call since my bro ended up marrying that girlfriend and after getting to know her sister more, I'm 100% certain things would not have gone well.
EDIT: I dunno if it's even creep factor that I'm talking about though. Creep factor shouldn't really be a thing unless you're being creepy about it, to which the obvious solution is don't be creepy when trying to pick up girls. I guess I'm just trying to say that you shouldn't look for hookups that you're going to be seeing social/professionally unless you're looking for something serious (still can end poorly, but if you're just looking for something casual, it's almost 100% going to be awkward post-relationship).
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Man... I really need help this time lol. So basically...
I'm still having the same issue I was before (see my previous post), except intensified. I'm getting more and more depressed every day because of it. I'm seriously unhappy at this point, and it's only magnified by the fact that there are girls here that I am attracted to and would like to date. I went to dinner with a girl tonight... and during the entire night, I was torn between making a move and not making a move. If I were single, I'd have absolutely no issue doing so, but I couldn't bring myself to do it... I nearly held her hand a few times and that's about it. I'm just torn as fuck... I do genuinely care about the girl I'm with now, but the distance is making me hella depressed, and the fact that realistically, it'll be 2 or 3 months before she could move here... and then add in the girls here I'd like to date.
what do I do
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Wow this is a gigantic blog/thread ._. Cool to see you helping people out IKL.
Just to see what your or others' thoughts might be, I figured I'd ask. I don't really have a relationship-related problem or anything, at the moment it isn't really that big of a deal to me with where I'm at (just started college this semester, somewhat enjoying just doing whatever, interest clubs, and music/independence).
However, what makes me feel like I should feel like it's a big deal is that I've never been in a relationship to date. Ever. Probably because I lacked confidence moreso before than now, partly cuz I was in a very small highschool whose "clicks" solidified too quickly to transcend, and because I overthink things. I generally don't act on impulse, and because I knew I didn't want silly and trivial weeks-months relationships I simply didn't try to get a girlfriend simply for the sake of it. The only situation related I was ever in was when SHE asked ME, but I wasn't really into her that way or at the very least knew that the distance (diff. colleges) would totally not work. Also, she was kinda ditzy, and at the least I learned from it moreso that I want someone I can talk to, not necessarily that is super intellectual, but just chill at the very least.
At this point having had no prior experience with dating and such, I'm sort of hoping that when I find someone and it seems like it'd work, I would at least try to talk/get to know them better, or capitalize in some way rather than just letting them pass by. The issue is I don't really know how to tell if someone seems interested/flirty, or even just wanting to know me or be more friendly, partly because I never encounter anything like this (anti-social kinda, and the clubs i'm in aren't exactly conducive to many or desirable girl members). Perhaps it's because I seem to lack confidence or have my head in the clouds to others, but I don't really think the former is the case now, maybe the latter.
Basically, I'm okay with not dating randomly and waiting until I feel like I really would want to date/get to know someone better, but I wondered what your thoughts might be given my odd past-present void or relationships/experience. Do I want to find someone and a meaningful relationship? Absolutely. Though sooner would be nicer than later, I wouldn't say I feel totally driven or obligated by societal pressures to at all. Perhaps I should just work on actually making more friends that are girls >.> kinda hard to do given that gaming club and anime club are quite lacking...
Oh, and good luck to all the people that have like super srs bsns current moral dilemmas or relationship issues that are really haunting them, and I tend to believe that a mentally objective state is best in most fragile/volatile situations, relationship-related or not.
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On October 29 2011 14:31 iamahydralisk wrote:Man... I really need help this time lol. So basically... I'm still having the same issue I was before (see my previous post), except intensified. I'm getting more and more depressed every day because of it. I'm seriously unhappy at this point, and it's only magnified by the fact that there are girls here that I am attracted to and would like to date. I went to dinner with a girl tonight... and during the entire night, I was torn between making a move and not making a move. If I were single, I'd have absolutely no issue doing so, but I couldn't bring myself to do it... I nearly held her hand a few times and that's about it. I'm just torn as fuck... I do genuinely care about the girl I'm with now, but the distance is making me hella depressed, and the fact that realistically, it'll be 2 or 3 months before she could move here... and then add in the girls here I'd like to date. what do I do 
Talk to her about it. Maybe you just need to say you really care about her but the distance is just too much and you can't handle it. If/when she moves closer maybe you can get back togeather again, but for now you are clearly not handling the distance at all.
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On October 29 2011 19:52 TabyLing wrote:Show nested quote +On October 29 2011 14:31 iamahydralisk wrote:Man... I really need help this time lol. So basically... I'm still having the same issue I was before (see my previous post), except intensified. I'm getting more and more depressed every day because of it. I'm seriously unhappy at this point, and it's only magnified by the fact that there are girls here that I am attracted to and would like to date. I went to dinner with a girl tonight... and during the entire night, I was torn between making a move and not making a move. If I were single, I'd have absolutely no issue doing so, but I couldn't bring myself to do it... I nearly held her hand a few times and that's about it. I'm just torn as fuck... I do genuinely care about the girl I'm with now, but the distance is making me hella depressed, and the fact that realistically, it'll be 2 or 3 months before she could move here... and then add in the girls here I'd like to date. what do I do  Talk to her about it. Maybe you just need to say you really care about her but the distance is just too much and you can't handle it. If/when she moves closer maybe you can get back togeather again, but for now you are clearly not handling the distance at all. I did talk to her about it a bit (I didn't quite let on how severe it really was), and she said she wants to try to make it work, no matter what. That's what I want too, but I don't really see anything that would help at this point.
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I told her and I got just about the most unexpected reaction... She basically gave me permission to have another girlfriend because she says I shouldn't be lonely while she's not here. I turned that idea down because it just seems wrong... I feel a lot better now because I got it all off my chest and some of the things she said are really telling of how she feels about me. She told me she'd want me to break up with her if I could be happier without her (because she wants me to be happy more than anything else), and she told me she'd love me no matter what I decided. I'm kinda blown away by how amazing of a person she is.
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Wow, it sounds like she's worth it bro ._____.
As Day[9] would say, be a better gamer, always go for the long macro game when you have the option rather than cheesing and getting quick cheap wins. Playing with a long-term focus and goal of refinement is more rewarding in the end 
Of course that's just one opinion, but either way, I can't really see those other girls being quite like that, though I don't know them..
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On October 30 2011 07:08 iamahydralisk wrote: I told her and I got just about the most unexpected reaction... She basically gave me permission to have another girlfriend because she says I shouldn't be lonely while she's not here. I turned that idea down because it just seems wrong... I feel a lot better now because I got it all off my chest and some of the things she said are really telling of how she feels about me. She told me she'd want me to break up with her if I could be happier without her (because she wants me to be happy more than anything else), and she told me she'd love me no matter what I decided. I'm kinda blown away by how amazing of a person she is.
sorta in a similar situation. been with my gf for 3 years, actually, i think this feb is gonna be 4. anyways, long story short, she got a fullbright scholarship and she's in taiwan. i get a lot of interest from other girls, and if i was single i'd have made a move by now, but i'm not about to lose an amazing person due to some stupid shit mistake on my part. if you've been with your girl for a while, and you really appreciate her, stick with what works. distance is temporary, and 3 months is nothing.
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oh fuuuuck a cute korean girl asked me out D:
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On October 30 2011 14:14 iamahydralisk wrote: oh fuuuuck a cute korean girl asked me out D: ...and what did you do?
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On October 30 2011 14:14 iamahydralisk wrote: oh fuuuuck a cute korean girl asked me out D: Oh, your life sucks.
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On October 30 2011 14:22 ODieN wrote:Show nested quote +On October 30 2011 14:14 iamahydralisk wrote: oh fuuuuck a cute korean girl asked me out D: ...and what did you do? told her I needed time to think. ie I'm going to sleep on it and see how I feel in the morning.
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On October 30 2011 14:32 iamahydralisk wrote:Show nested quote +On October 30 2011 14:22 ODieN wrote:On October 30 2011 14:14 iamahydralisk wrote: oh fuuuuck a cute korean girl asked me out D: ...and what did you do? told her I needed time to think. ie I'm going to sleep on it and see how I feel in the morning.
too late. shoulda said yes first, then think about it later. now, she's going to wonder if you've already got a gf. some girls aren't into being the side dish, they wanna be the main entree, you better hope she doesn't pick up on this.
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