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StarCraft II Parody Guide v2

Blogs > drryworrx
Post a Reply
drryworrx
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States76 Posts
July 03 2011 01:15 GMT
#1
Hello again everybody! Drryworrx here again, bringing you another installment of parody guides for your entertainment! I felt these belong in the Strategy Section to help break up the same ole same ole.

That being said, I have spent months researching everything contained herein and is all based on complete and accurate facts as determined by the fact generator in my head.


---------------------


Section 1.0: Load Time Timing Pushes

-------

-----Protoss Load Time-Timing Pushes: 10 Second Loads
----------These players usually have decent computers for StarCraft II. The load times are generally caused by their internet, and that will undoubtedly open the doorway for some very interesting timing pushes.
----------A build commonly used by players like this include the ever popular 4gate expansion push. The best way to defend against such a push is to wall off your ramp with missile turrets. Why missile turrets instead of the "standard" bunker/barracks/supply depot? Because The turrets are very cost efficient and it guarantees none of those pesky game-ending Protoss units, Observers, to get into your base. Observers can be very pesky meta game and can often times cause an inexperienced player to lose outright if the appropriate measures are not taken. On the same note, I would suggest to all you Terran players out there to vigorously place turrets in any open space you can find not occupied by your structures. This is a solid counter to Observers and those horrible, game-threatening Warp Prism Cannon Drops.
----------Given the nature of the load time however, you can expect this push to come in several seconds later than what would normally be assumed to a standard 4gate play. This will give all you Terran players ample time to load a few bunkers full of Reapers. Reapers are excellent counters to anything gateway, and from my personal experience, can deny sentry pushes with ease.
----------For all you Zerg players out there, I suggest using your first queen to spread your creep as soon as possible so you can wall your ramp off with Spore Crawlers. When the push comes, fill the gap with your queen as they do decent damage to this type of early aggression and will buy you enough time to get your spawning pool down for spine crawlers before going back to making workers.

-----Protoss Load Time-Timing Pushes: 15-25 Second Loads
----------This type of play is becoming extremely popular against players who still use Pentium processors. They purposefully use their bad load times to throw you off your game.
----------They do this because they plan on executing a build that is becoming very popular amongst the silver-league Protoss players; the 1 gate chargelot rush! The key to this build is allowing your gas to pool really high so that you can get your leg speed, +1/+1/+1 all at the same exact time. They ignore the cybernetics core for quick upgrades.
----------The best way to defend against this type of play that my brother and myself have discovered while laddering is:
----------Terran: Wall the very bottom of your ramp off with Factories. I say factories because they are extremely durable and it is very hard for Zealots to kill them in small numbers. While you are working on your wall, mass your workers and build about 3 to 4 Barracks and pump out Marauders with Concussive Shot. You can get stim if you scouted and find that they have gotten leg speed, but if you scout and don't see it then ignore stim and Concussive Shot will do the job just fine.
----------Zerg: Make a macro hatch at the top of your ramp and wall off the gaps with two spine crawlers. Hatches have so much health that it will take alot of Zealots to push through the wall, but being on a choke point, your spine crawlers will easily take care of any aggression from them they apply. After your wall is completed, make two additional queens for injects, tumors and transfusions on the wall. After that, go back to hard droning.
----------Protoss: Do the standard gateway/cyber core/zealot wall-off and pump out some stalkers or scouts then proceed to mass workers. Holding off the push while making workers will put you in a huge eco lead. But beware of those pesky Observers if he decides to deviate from the rush build and make a Robo/Cyber Core.


-----Zerg Load Timing-Timing Pushes: 10 Second Loads:
----------This type of player is famous for his 10-pool all-ins. The professionals will tell you that the 10-pool is named because they make a spawning pool on 10 food, which in actuality it's because of the 10 second load time. For each second it takes them to load the map, they add it to their over-all placement time of their spawning pool.
----------Terran: Defend against this by being IMBA and making a quick barracks when scouted and holding down the A button. Zerg 10-pools will send a drone in extremely early just to find out exactly where you are if on a 4 player map such as Tal'Darim Altar, but will just save the drone itself for the pool seeing as how they wont need to find you.
----------Protoss: A 12 gate and some minimal probe sacrifice will hold you off well enough until you get the couple zealots you need out to defend. Nothing too special here. PvP even into late game is extremely easy so there is not much to worry about.
----------Zerg: This should be defended with either a couple spine crawlers near your worker line or countered with a quick 10-pool of your own. Good enough.

-----Zerg Load Timing-Timing Pushes: 25 Second Loads:
----------Due to having a poor computer, this type of player generally tries to compensate for massing Mutalisks early game. This probably has something to do with Muta's being really OP in the early game.
----------Terran: Defend against this by potmarking your base with missile turrets. The turret defense will usually protect you into the mid game when drops become a bit more prevalent. Marines after that point will do the trick because let's be honest, it's not hard to A1A your way to victory.
----------Protoss: A couple cannons on your mineral line will usually suffice. I would suggest one cannon per pylon however so that they can't snipe them or your tech structures.
----------Zerg: Make 3-4 Queens early and a fast Evolution Chamber and you should be set. Just spam transfuse and everything should be good to go until you can get your own muta's out.


-----Terran Load Timing-Timing Pushes: 10-25 Second Loads:
----------I combined the 10 and 25 second load timing pushes for terran into one group because it doesn't matter what happens at the loading screen, the Terran player will 9 times out of 10 go for fast marines with maybe a few Marauders.
----------Zerg: Get a couple spine crawlers up and get a fast baneling nest and just baneling every single one of them. This will buy you enough time to get your much needed second expansion and tech up to your meatier units.
----------Protoss: Zealot/Sentry or Stalker/Sentry will work just fine to defend against the marine ball for a while so you can tech up as well. Researching leg speed and blink in a situation where the Terran player is applying constant Marine pressure is vital as you can blink step weaker units out of the fight and swarm the Marauders even when they use Concussive Shell.
----------Terran: Best thing to do is make a couple bunkers then A spam-rally your Marines into them while you tech up to Siege Tanks and Vikings. Not much else needs to be said other than Tanks demolish Marine bundles, even with Medivacs.



-----------------------

----------Attitudes of the Timer-Pushers:
-----Generally the 10 Second Load Timers will generally have decent manners in game. Every now and then you'll get the one that complains that you're imbalanced for defending their rushes and all-ins, but if you are anything but Terran, you can just brush them off as cry babies.
-----The 25 Second Load Timers however usually show really bad manners regardless of the outcome of the match. To these players, any build or strategy you do that doesn't allow them to win is OP BS and you must be hacking for defending that particular play. They don't realize though that cheese all-in rushes hurt them in the end game and normally wont let them get back in the lead, but it doesn't matter to them, it is still your fault they're not good.
-----I would cut all conversations with these types of players, as it will only lead to arguments that could possibly lead to an Account Suspension or Ban.




-----------------


Hope this helps the people that read this, and any feedback would be greatly appropriated. I am interested as to see what you guys think of my second guide!

*
*Huk talking to idra* "Idra...how does he do it? What drives him?" *Idra looks at huk* "Some men can't be bought, bargained or reasoned with, huk. Some men just want to watch the world learn." *They both turn to look at day[9]*
Z3kk
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
4099 Posts
July 03 2011 01:17 GMT
#2
Er, why did you not combine your entries? Also, I'm sorry, but the layout looks absolute atrocious ><

I'm afraid this seems like too much of a try-hard, but it's very interesting and I read all of it :>
Failure is not falling down over and over again. Failure is refusing to get back up.
snexwang
Profile Joined April 2011
Australia224 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-03 01:23:33
July 03 2011 01:21 GMT
#3
Why the fuck did you repost both of your fucking shitty threads?

I wish I could hate you to death.

+ Show Spoiler +
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=239679
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=238842



User was warned for this post
drryworrx
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States76 Posts
July 03 2011 01:25 GMT
#4
On July 03 2011 10:21 snexwang wrote:
Why the fuck did you repost both of your fucking shitty threads?

I wish I could hate you to death.

+ Show Spoiler +
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=239679
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=238842




Because I want a place I can collect them all? Besides it is my blog after-all. You do not have to visit it.
*Huk talking to idra* "Idra...how does he do it? What drives him?" *Idra looks at huk* "Some men can't be bought, bargained or reasoned with, huk. Some men just want to watch the world learn." *They both turn to look at day[9]*
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
July 03 2011 02:20 GMT
#5
Use [ indent ] instead of hyphens. Blogs is another forum on TL. It doesn't function like other blogs on the internet which are personal space. Normal etiquette for collective environments applies because of this. In case you didn't get that: Blogs are not personal space. You share this space with other users ( http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/index.php?show_part=18 ). The 'you don't have to visit my blog' doesn't really apply because of that. If you want a personal space for collecting your stuff use blogspot or something.

The advantage of how blogs works on TL: Many people will read your blog.
The disadvantage: You have to be moderate.

Hope that clears things up...
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
drryworrx
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States76 Posts
July 03 2011 02:27 GMT
#6
On July 03 2011 11:20 Chef wrote:
Use [ indent ] instead of hyphens. Blogs is another forum on TL. It doesn't function like other blogs on the internet which are personal space. Normal etiquette for collective environments applies because of this. In case you didn't get that: Blogs are not personal space. You share this space with other users ( http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/index.php?show_part=18 ). The 'you don't have to visit my blog' doesn't really apply because of that. If you want a personal space for collecting your stuff use blogspot or something.

The advantage of how blogs works on TL: Many people will read your blog.
The disadvantage: You have to be moderate.

Hope that clears things up...



hah yeah it does, my bad
*Huk talking to idra* "Idra...how does he do it? What drives him?" *Idra looks at huk* "Some men can't be bought, bargained or reasoned with, huk. Some men just want to watch the world learn." *They both turn to look at day[9]*
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