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So I have this problem and I want to take it out of my chest cus I think i've fallen in to my emotions (zzz) its the worst thing, so why not make a inane blog in good old TL?
The problem is... wait for it...
Girls, yeah thats right.
First let me go to introduce myself for judgement sakes, I guess:
I'm a senior at my high school in New Zealand, whos in his 2nd to last year. I'm midweight, have plenty of good friends instead of those fake ones and I'm currently enjoying my life so far. I'm what you call an 'Korean New Zealander' or 'Korean Kiwi' which i'm saying that I was born in New Zealand, stayed in this country for about 12 years(?) (My family moved back to Korea when I was young and we came back)
So like a lot of people in Teamliquid; I love games, I love anime and especially playing Starcraft2. I'm a freak on the computer. I use it for about 3 or more hours a day depending on how much spare time I have. In my opinion I don't have that much of a super nerd personality(An example is you know theres always someone who loves war and just says plain idiotic things such as "I want the war back, we need it" I mean really, why would anyone want war back?) instead I have a pretty average personality for my age and gender; I talk about cars, anime, games and I never go too far with these jokes.
Okay well thats me in a nutshell, now for the real purpose of the blog.
Recently in High School I met this amazing girl, she is actually seriously beautiful. And her personality is amazing, we have some stuff in common together for example; she's a huge anime freak  So usually I take advantage of this and talk about anime with her or crack some jokes, which she laughs to. Anyway i've known her for about 3 weeks, we talk a lot on Facebook and in school, mostly about anime or asking if shes going with anyone to the school ball.
For the past week I've wanted to ask her out to the movies or something to the mall however I always bail out and just yesterday (Friday) I was searching for her to ask out in real life cus of random confidence gain, and I couldn't find her which bit the dust again. T_T
Now another problem is that she seems way outta my league, she's quite popular and is one of the best looking girls i've ever seen in my life. For me im not popular at all (I dont want to join that area of social groups so I dont try) im midweight and im asian. So that kills my confidence a bit because I dont want my own feelings to get hurt when I get rejected
I dont know whats with my head, but I keep feeling positive about it and I feel like shes gonna say yes when I ask her out which gives me butterflies. ~.~ Damnit
So like I said I wanted to ask her out in real life on Friday because obviously, that is a much bettter method, and I failed because I couldn't find her (The schools huge) And I'm starting to resort to asking her out through the internet.... In my opinion doing that feels really weak, shows barely any confidence which girls like and I think its a lot easier to get rejected through this method. However my mind doesnt like my mind, because I keep having this big impatient feeling and I feel like I have to ask her out anyway possible and its not easy to get rid of, I'm 90% certain that im gonna go ask her out this weekend.
Another problem is that I dont know what to do in dates especially the idea of taking someone out to the movies for a first date? Is this a good idea?
So you good people of TeamLiquid, what do yo think? Am I way out of her league? Should I wait until Monday where I can ask her in school? Or should I try ask her through Facebook tonight to watch a movie with me?
Anyway sorry for this rent and it's English errors, i'm rushing this because I really want this out of my chest and writing about it to the public helps.
Anyway its time to eat some breakfast and fruit salad
Fruit salad, Yummy yummy.
Poll -
+ Show Spoiler +Poll: Should I ask her out through the internet or in real lifeReal Life (135) 91% Facebook (13) 9% 148 total votes Your vote: Should I ask her out through the internet or in real life (Vote): Facebook
(Vote): Real Life
  
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Blazinghand
United States25550 Posts
On June 25 2011 07:10 SEA_GenesiS wrote:
Another problem is that I dont know what to do in dates especially the idea of taking someone out to the movies for a first date? Is this a good idea?
So you good people of TeamLiquid, what do yo think? Am I way out of her league? Should I wait until Monday where I can ask her in school? Or should I try ask her through Facebook tonight to watch a movie with me?
Anyway sorry for this rent and it's English errors, i'm rushing this because I really want this out of my chest and writing about it to the public helps.
Movies are good, but make sure it's one both of you want to see-- you don't want a boring first date. Make sure, also, that it's not JUST a movie since you want a chance to talk.
She's not out of your league, you should go for it. Don't ask people out via facebook, as a general rule; ask in person or via phone (CALL, not text) whenever possible.
Go do it. She'll probably say yes and it will be super super awesome.
GL HF
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If she says no then what do you lose but if she says yes (sexytime).
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Blazinghand
United States25550 Posts
On June 25 2011 07:14 Nfi wrote:
If she says no then what do you lose but if she says yes (sexytime).
This is also true, but isn't the reason you should be asking her out. You're asking her out because you want to date her. Remember, it's entirely possible she wants you to ask her out, or would be willing to go out, but since she's a woman and you're a man, it's your societal role to be the initiator and ask her out (at least, in my culture) and deal with the chance of rejection.
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Real life is always the best option man, asking someone out by facebook is like dumping them by text.
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First off, don't ask Teamliquid. Is the girl Korean/NZer? It actually makes a difference as race will work against you with kiwi girls and for you with Korean girls.
Also based on the information you gave it's pretty much impossible to know what's going on, as most guys will interpret things one way when it's really another. But to get a very quick answer on whether she's interested or not just ask her out, and you'll know one way or another
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United States10774 Posts
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Fuck FaceBook, good to see you realise it's for dire occasions only. Get the courage you need and go talk to her RIGHT NOW. Better to be rejected than to never know what could have happened. I know you said you don't like rejection, but that's something you'll have to live with. Humans have different views on what's aesthetically pleasant or not. You just have to deal with that.
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Go talk to her right now. In real life
I swear, if I could go back to yell at my high school self, I would hit him so hard and tell him to ask out that one girl...
sigh
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Call her and ask her out to go with you somewhere.
Movie is too cliche and you don't actually get to talk/interact with the person. So lame.
If there's a nice park or something with a trail ask her to go there and you guys can walk around and talk.
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I never knew why people start relationships in HS :X
It's a time when you have no money and when school ends, if you play to go to any University, there is a good chance you will break apart.
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I know its like the macerna or Raise the roof, but I'm doing it anyways.....
CHILL GET OUT
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Whats so hard about talking to a girl and saying "hey, you busy later tonight? I got nothing planned...wanna hang out? I'm sure we can find something to do."
Boom, done, you've gained her attention for the moment and possibly for the rest of the day/night/whatever.
Just be....ya know, normal good ole you.
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Surprisingly, there are a lot of beautiful girls, who sit home alone on the weekends simply because you guys think they're out of your league.
Of course, if you muster up the courage to ask her out, it must be real life - good grief, kid - never over the internet. And an agreed upon movie is a fantastic date, because when you take her for a soda or ice cream sundae afterwards, you'll have something to talk about - no awkward moments.
You do, however, have to ask her in a way that she knows it's a date and not just out of friendship, otherwise you're doomed from the get go.
GLHF!
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Dude, if she's willing to have a conversation with you, she's probably willing to try at least one date. That's just kind of how it works. If you end up having fun (meaning her), you'll get another date. The worst she can say is no, anyways.
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Man up face to face real life....never ask someone out over facebook..that's just dumb ]= just saying...worst that's gunna happen is she'll say no
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9933 Posts
i kinda want to close this thread. i hope you understand that facebook shouldn't even be an option.
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Lack confidence you say? Well look no further, for Teamliquid is here. And here at TL, we believe in you. Believe in us who believe in you. Find where she is and slam open the door. If you can get some really bright shining lights behind you so it looks like a god just walked in, do it.Dazzle the stage. Walk up to her, grab her hand, get down on one knee and say "Raise your voice, and let's sing out our youth together!" Get the attention of everyone in the room, but stare only into her eyes. At this point, she'll definitely be dazzled enough to accept your proposal.
If not, phase 2 begins. Withdraw from her, appearing hurt. Whisper "It's a pinch" softly, before quickly staring at her again and saying "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM???" Kick something, it's very important to kick something. Storm out, but not before yelling "I will succeed, believe it!" She'll be overwhelmed.
+ Show Spoiler +In all seriousness, this is less important in the grand scheme of things then you can imagine. Next time you see her, with confidence, just ask her out. Otherwise, you'll never go on any awesome dates. If she rejects you, such is life. But atleast she'll know how confident and interested you are in her, and if she ever builds strong enough feelings for you she'll remember that.
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Never ask for girl advice on TL
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Because chivalry is dead and boys rarely ask girls out on dates anymore, I would think most girls would say yes to any genuine request and give you the courtesy of at least one date.
Also, you should act quickly. It sounds like the "friend zone" could be imminent.
If she does reject you, move on. It really isn't a big deal to be turned down, and I'm sure she would do it politely if you are friendly with each other.
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Don't do it over the internet please. If you are afraid of eye contact, or you get shy, just wear a sunglasses when you talk to her. It's summer now, so it's quite normal to wear sunglasses to hide your uncomfortable glance. Best of luck to you!!!
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On June 25 2011 08:11 Cudaflu wrote:
Because chivalry is dead and boys rarely ask girls out on dates anymore, I would think most girls would say yes to any genuine request and give you the courtesy of at least one date.
Also, you should act quickly. It sounds like the "friend zone" could be imminent.
If she does reject you, move on. It really isn't a big deal to be turned down, and I'm sure she would do it politely if you are friendly with each other.
Chivlary lives.. but only in few numbers.
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On June 25 2011 07:41 Mailing wrote:
I never knew why people start relationships in HS :X
It's a time when you have no money and when school ends, if you play to go to any University, there is a good chance you will break apart.
Because she's a 'seriously beautiful girl' has talked to him before, of course :d.
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On June 25 2011 08:07 AppleTart wrote:
Never ask for girl advice on TL There's been many times where TL gives good girl advice, your probably just too tired to see it. -_-
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On June 25 2011 08:23 Lennon wrote:
Grow some balls. Every man has a pair, it's just that some need to grow some hair on their balls.
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LOL tbh, I didnt check out Chill's blog cus i thought it was for girls, misleading title I guess. Anyway, thanks guys. thats all I needed
Oh and please delete or close this threat if you wish, I have no use for it now.
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If she's actually popular, you better just ask in person during the week. There's actually more of a mental block for girls on Fridays due to the weekend
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Even as someone who knows nothing on this subject, I can tell it's just something you have to do. You already have the things in common and the ability to make her laugh on your side. And judging by how you describe her she seems like a nice girl and you really like her. So go for it. Try to soon also (not that you need to panic every second you don't, but I find trouble that I become friends with every girl I like and get into an awkward situation) but you want to find out soon, be able to start getting close to her more quickly, or get over it more quickly if it doesn't work out. And definitely ask in real life. I don't even think it's a matter of confidence, but asking over the internet is weak/chidish/tacky.
On June 25 2011 07:10 SEA_GenesiS wrote:
However my mind doesnt like my mind
Anyway its time to eat some breakfast and fruit salad
Fruit salad, Yummy yummy.
Both of these lines made me die laughing lol.
SEA_GenesiS HWAITING!!!
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Don't ask the girl out. Hint at her that you like her until she asks you out. I think poking her with sticks is a good hint.
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I'd like to add one thing if I may ... be like Day[9] and don't lie about yourself or your gamer/nerdness. If she won't accept you for who you are even if she is super awesome than it's not worth it. I always respect guys who are confident in themselves and who whey are; guys who are ashamed of something they do are not appealing.
I'm sure if you ask her out in person she'll say yes and you'll have a blast. A movie is nice, be a gentleman and you should be fine. Don't move too fast. Open doors for her. If not the car door at least the doors to the theater. Some girls hate that but I think it is respectful and shows you are thinking about her. (Hope this Midwestern USA advice will help you in NZ!)
GL HF!!!
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On June 25 2011 10:17 Zaranth wrote:
I'd like to add one thing if I may ... be like Day[9] and don't lie about yourself or your gamer/nerdness. If she won't accept you for who you are even if she is super awesome than it's not worth it. I always respect guys who are confident in themselves and who whey are; guys who are ashamed of something they do are not appealing.
I'm sure if you ask her out in person she'll say yes and you'll have a blast. A movie is nice, be a gentleman and you should be fine. Don't move too fast. Open doors for her. If not the car door at least the doors to the theater. Some girls hate that but I think it is respectful and shows you are thinking about her. (Hope this Midwestern USA advice will help you in NZ!)
GL HF!!!
While day9 is great and all, I wasnt aware that he is a dating guru. Its best not to let your weirdness/quirks out all at once or it might scare her off. E.g None of my gfs or my now fiance had any idea i played games etc when we met. unless the girl is really into that, i wouldnt go down that path.
Also, if she is reallypopular like you say, and you are not I expect rejection incoming, girls care alot about social status. There is only one way to find out however, so ask her out, in person if you think you have a shot.
If it doesnt work, try to increase your social status and try again with some other chick, plenty of em out there.
gl
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You didn't make texting an option in the poll. Or, you could ask your friend to text the request for you.
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Just Leeroy Jenkins is up and get in there. Honestly the worst thing to do is turtle up like E. Honda and wait for them to try and push in with a small life advantage, since they'll just move on to other players.
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Just ask her out, if you fail, at least you tried right? If shes so beautiful as you say, if you don't act fast, you won't have a chance in the future.
And, dont go to the movie on a first date. It sucks, some dinner is good then you can decide what to do later.
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On June 25 2011 08:01 intrigue wrote:
i kinda want to close this thread. i hope you understand that facebook shouldn't even be an option.
I've had 3 diff girls ask me out on dates while facebook chatting me. Guys totally overthink this shit and try way too hard with the whole confidence/mystery/etc crap. If the girl likes you, she doesn't give two shits how you ask her out. She'll just be glad you asked her. And believe it or not, most of the time a girl has a very good idea whether she likes a guy or not long before he asks her out.
So, no, I totally disagree. If he sers has trouble bumping into her in real life, then there's nothing wrong with hitting her up on FB and just saying "Hey, I been looking for you all week in school. Where the hell you been? etc etc. OK, cool, well I was thinking of going out to so and so this weekend and was wondering if you'd like to come with me."
That's really all it takes.
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I no longer read the OP in girl blogs. I just look for ILOVEKITTENS' response.
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![[image loading]](http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/chicago-eats-allergy-free/bruceleemyherojpg.png) "As you think, so shall you become." -- Bruce Lee
Words from the mouth of one of the grandest, most badass pussymagnets on the planet. But, this is not a redundant essay on why Lee is the shit. This is your blog. TL;DR: you need some more Lee in your life.
Actually, you are Korean, so maybe not. But, regardless.
Your problem is that you lack faith. You lack strength. You are starting this otherwise simple task of asking a human being a question as a boy riddled with self-doubt and depreciation. I will give you some credit though, you have identified the issue at hand: women seek confident men, because they don't want to be the ones handing you tissues during a sappy movie or telling you that you don't look fat (your 'medium-sized' description betrays a lack of confidence already). So, if I tell you that you don't have confidence, that kind of makes the solution clear, no? Refer to the quote above.
This is just a high school girl. In a big school. That you will no longer be attending, much sooner than you think, and most of the negative things that happened to you will be more distant than Alpha Centauri (am I right, my fellow 20-something-year-olds?). Once again, Bruce Lee lends us some knowledge:
"Forget about winning and losing, forget about pride and pain."
All four of those concepts apply directly to this situation, and are holding you back from potentially achieving amateur baller status. If you ask her and she says yes, you got what you wanted. If she says no, then you got experience, which you needed. If she says no, there will only be pain if you let words hurt you. There will only be damage to your pride if you let her put herself above you in YOUR mind. Whether or not she is such in her mind is wholly irrelevant to what should be your perception of yourself. Look in the mirror. This is who you are. You can ask yourself, "Do you want to go to dinner with me?" Why can't you ask her? Why are you afraid? "Forget about pride and pain." There is no fear when there is no pride or pain.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/N1RKe.jpg)
Now, onto your questions.
Movies are over-rated and you do not know her taste yet, it is not a good place to hold a conversation and it is woefully cliche. Think about it empirically - you are not facing each other, both of your attention is being grabbed by a massive screen and surround sound, and conversing is frowned upon. I would rather sit next to a girl in an electric chair, at least I could make a joke about it. Be a man, take her out to an early dinner (6 or 7pm). Then do something interactive with her afterward. You should ask her what she likes to do before you ask her out to dinner, then suggest the most plausible option.
What do I think? I think you think too much. When you go down the trail of "what-ifs" that led you to your absolute lack of permanent conviction, I'm sure there are many absurd and exaggerated fears at play.
There is no such thing as a league. There are attractive people and unattractive, and in general there is nothing that can be done about that. But who you are as a personality is completely under your control, and personality is more important than looks after the first 10 seconds of meeting a person. You don't believe this, that's why you are even considering the Facebook option of asking this girl - because you won't be showing your face. Man up. Be happy being YOU. At least for the 2 minutes that it takes to smoothly build up to a dinner invite.
Should you ask her through Facebook? Can you imagine Bruce Lee asking a girl over Facebook to go to the movies, because he is scared to face her in person? Fuck no. Now, what mental factors separate you from being like the late Bruce Lee? None. Once again, man up. If she says no, then she isn't worthy of you, not the other way around. Because, honestly who says no to a fucking dinner? Only a bitch who views herself as too self-important. It's not like dinner will bind you two for life. This is a point you should consider as well, but maybe that is for next time.
Remember...
![[image loading]](http://siliconcowboy.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/bruce-lee.jpg) FIGHTING!
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On June 25 2011 12:11 ILOVEKITTENS wrote:"As you think, so shall you become." -- Bruce Lee Words from the mouth of one of the grandest, most badass pussymagnets on the planet. But, this is not a redundant essay on why Lee is the shit. This is your blog. TL;DR: you need some more Lee in your life. Actually, you are Korean, so maybe not. But, regardless. Your problem is that you lack faith. You lack strength. You are starting this otherwise simple task of asking a human being a question as a boy riddled with self-doubt and depreciation. I will give you some credit though, you have identified the issue at hand: women seek confident men, because they don't want to be the ones handing you tissues during a sappy movie or telling you that you don't look fat (your 'medium-sized' description betrays a lack of confidence already). So, if I tell you that you don't have confidence, that kind of makes the solution clear, no? Refer to the quote above. This is just a high school girl. In a big school. That you will no longer be attending, much sooner than you think, and most of the negative things that happened to you will be more distant than Alpha Centauri (am I right, my fellow 20-something-year-olds?). Once again, Bruce Lee lends us some knowledge: "Forget about winning and losing, forget about pride and pain." All four of those concepts apply directly to this situation, and are holding you back from potentially achieving amateur baller status. If you ask her and she says yes, you got what you wanted. If she says no, then you got experience, which you needed. If she says no, there will only be pain if you let words hurt you. There will only be damage to your pride if you let her put herself above you in YOUR mind. Whether or not she is such in her mind is wholly irrelevant to what should be your perception of yourself. Look in the mirror. This is who you are. You can ask yourself, "Do you want to go to dinner with me?" Why can't you ask her? Why are you afraid? "Forget about pride and pain." There is no fear when there is no pride or pain. Now, onto your questions. Movies are over-rated and you do not know her taste yet, it is not a good place to hold a conversation and it is woefully cliche. Think about it empirically - you are not facing each other, both of your attention is being grabbed by a massive screen and surround sound, and conversing is frowned upon. I would rather sit next to a girl in an electric chair, at least I could make a joke about it. Be a man, take her out to an early dinner (6 or 7pm). Then do something interactive with her afterward. You should ask her what she likes to do before you ask her out to dinner, then suggest the most plausible option. What do I think? I think you think too much. When you go down the trail of "what-ifs" that led you to your absolute lack of permanent conviction, I'm sure there are many absurd and exaggerated fears at play. There is no such thing as a league. There are attractive people and unattractive, and in general there is nothing that can be done about that. But who you are as a personality is completely under your control, and personality is more important than looks after the first 10 seconds of meeting a person. You don't believe this, that's why you are even considering the Facebook option of asking this girl - because you won't be showing your face. Man up. Be happy being YOU. At least for the 2 minutes that it takes to smoothly build up to a dinner invite. Should you ask her through Facebook? Can you imagine Bruce Lee asking a girl over Facebook to go to the movies, because he is scared to face her in person? Fuck no. Now, what mental factors separate you from being like the late Bruce Lee? None. Once again, man up. If she says no, then she isn't worthy of you, not the other way around. Because, honestly who says no to a fucking dinner? Only a bitch who views herself as too self-important. It's not like dinner will bind you two for life. This is a point you should consider as well, but maybe that is for next time. Remember... FIGHTING!
Bahahahahahaha if this was a blog itself i would rate it 5/5 but thank you :D that brings me up a lot.
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Can we compile all of ILOVEKITTENS' responses into some glorious thread? Every post i've seen is sheer gold hahaahhahaha
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On June 25 2011 13:32 Flyingsnow wrote:
Can we compile all of ILOVEKITTENS' responses into some glorious thread? Every post i've seen is sheer gold hahaahhahaha
I've already said this but i'll say it again.
GIVE THAT MAN A STAR!!!
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I'm glad I didn't rate the blog until ILOVEKITTENS posted, now it's 5/5 ezy.
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Don't miss on such opportunities because of "leagues". I used to think the same way in high school, and probably missed quite a few opportunities.
Then I started going out with THE most beatiful girl of the school. It took some time, but it gave us 3 years of happiness so far.
If you asked me back then, I would tell you that I don't have a chance. But it happened. Having enough confidence in yourself will does wonders in your life. Better start now! If you think about it, some of the guys who are successful with girls are just confident people, not that good looking nor smart. I just had a pretty nice body, and a nice brain, but that was it, I was no sportsteam captain
I also think that a movie isn't bad. Pick a big expected-but-not-stupid hit. Follow up/precede with a snack at a park or something similar. The movie is actually just there to hint that you're interested in her, and to spend some time with her when you take a snack without immediately commiting to a whole evening of eye-contact (in the case of you taking her to dinner). It depends of whether you're already flirting or not. If you're just buddies, a dinner can be a surprising proposition. If you're already flirting, then dinner is indeed much better.
Going to the movies is a cliché, but there are reasons things become clichés. And I feel like many people tend to like them, in the end, and at some point regret not going through some of them. A girl might regret that no one has ever sent her flowers. A boy might regret never having an high-school love story!
You don't need to be exceptional all the time. There are 6 billion people out there... you're bind to be normal, to some extent. Try your best to go from commonplace situations to more personal setting. Don't be boring, but don't try too hard neither. Exceptional moments are those that truly require exceptional behaviours. The rest is just glitter.
But, anyway, just do something. If you don't, you will regret it and be bitter about it. If you fail, then you will at least have no illusions.
Trying is a big step forward in itself.
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In all honesty, I don't think you will ask her out. Have you asked anyone out before?
You're probably too afraid of getting rejected.
Most TL blogs end up in girl failure since there's no followup. I could tell you to just go up to her and ask, but you'll probably just overthink it and be like "well she's with her friends now" "I don't want my teachers to know" "Blah blah other issues".
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I've found that doing nothing is worse than having done something and failing. There was a girl that I was going to ask out because I thought it would have worked out. I was scared and didn't. I was scared that people would think badly of me or something along those lines and I didn't want to be forgotten or left in the dust. Because I didn't ask her, someone else eventually did and I was left behind with nothing. If I asked, maybe there would have been at least a 20% chance she would have said yes. If she said no my situation wouldn't have been much different to what I have now. So basically if you think there's a chance it'll work, take it. It's essentially a free lottery ticket with potentially higher odds.
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I agree with AngryFarmer, just go for it and get the experience, so that even if you fail this time you'll be that much better on your next attempt. It may be painful and scary, but you'll eventually have to do it so you may as well do it now! Good luck, hope it turns out alright for you!
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EPT
