Guide to Irony and Satire - Page 2

One day mankind will solve death. If we just have enough of other people's money and we have scientific progress we can achieve immortality for everyone. Of course it won't happen in America, because we are backwards and get everything wrong and should learn from the other countries how to behave.

There is no reason for a person to die of cancer or any other deadly disease. Every time I hear about someone dying in the news, or taking great pains to try and survive as long as possible, I question where the system failed them. We've got a lot of ignorant capitalists here who believe in things like natural selection and think it's normal for people to die. Well it's not. We just haven't advanced politically far enough to end death, like many countries have ended poverty.

I just hope America isn't beat to solving mortality by a nation like Cuba or North Korea. That would be very embarrassing considering how many economic advantages we have.

What makes you think I'm trolling? Maybe I didn't explain what I meant very clearly. Let me try and rephrase the argument...

There are many, many people who have died, right? I mean I hear about it all the time in the news and in history and stuff. And yet, at the same time, there are tons of people alive and living. Clearly that means that death isn't really necessary, or else we would all be dead.

So how come some people die and so many other people haven't died? Well clearly it's because there is an unequal distribution of wealth. If all of the people who died had the same exact health care as the people who are alive, then no one would be dead. So to cure mortality, all we have to do is take the health care from the richest people and apply it to the poorest people.

This is pretty much common sense. But our voters and politicians are so dumb they don't see this logic. People are really very immoral because they refuse to give up their money, essentially they want other people to die for their own greed. If it wasn't for greed we could have cured death a long time ago.

Banning movies from a country now?

lol, and they call themselves the land of the free and the home....

Oh wait, never mind, this is Europe. Time to put on my rose colored glasses.

I'm taking AP Calculus 7, AP Theoretical and Applied Physics, AP Molecular Chemistry and Biology. I've have two doctorates, one from Harvard and one from Yale. I passed the bar recently, but I also want to earn a Nobel Prize at some point in the future as well.

What Nobel Prizes have you guys won so far?

Yeah, I think my blog is different too, let me tell you about it too!

So there's this girl. Her name? Her name is something the mortals refer to her to sum up her entity to a level of comprehension. The problem with this girl is unlike any other I've occurred. She is not the problem, but her beauty continues to fester and plague my thoughts. Each and every thought-process that churns within my mind somehow webs into the features of her face. Everytime I see her, I go blind with delight. Everytime I speak of her, my tongue becomes swollen with cinnamon of timidity and my babbling slowly erodes to speechlessness. Each time I think of her, I begin to dream, my eyes flutter to a slow draw and I dream, I dream for so long.

She is but an escapade of my responsibility, my worries and insecurity. When I'm with her, time dissolves to a pause; it calms itself so I can admire an art that is forever in motion, forever in touch with my emotions and eternally tugging my heart, sore at smiling and love. When the opportunity presents itself for me to actually gawk at her astonishing beauty; either of her button nose, her adorable cheeks or emerald eyes that dazzle wider than any jewel-polisher could achieve I grow more thirsty. I yearn to disrobe her, to remove these fickle pieces of clothing-ware that but only keep us apart, no matter how minimal. I am hungry to define our love on a physical par that my young adolescent self imagined with a cloth and a sturdy hand. I wish to dig my nose into her long hair, conditioned and tamed to sparkle a rich hazel of many tasty almonds. I wish to mirror her gaze into my own and peck my lips against plump ones, rich with beauty and potential taste of love.

This is a girl I cannot behold to the highest degree of understanding. She is of another universe, another hierarchy or being that hails from another existence and glorious beauty. To give her a name would not give justice and to describe her is but an iceberg that never melts. When a man feels love, they but only pursue an end that is hopefully and may potentially be with her.

This girl is the outline of my exhausted heart.

Well that was fun, off-topic and somehow not proving the point that nearly all girl topics revolve around the same problems and socialistic behavior

User was temp banned for this post.

On June 24 2011 16:39 ghrur wrote:


I disagree! I think that satire is a great way to introduce a new viewpoint/perspective. The point of satire is to make an argument, and arguments can support/refute old ideas or introduce something new.

And the fact that it's in the realms of reality is exactly what makes it great satire! Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal is great because it makes you believe he's actually got a novel idea, and then pushes for his proposal in such a way that causes the reader to worry about his seriousness. Satire thrives off that tension, and if jdseemoreglass is making people think about that, he's doing it well.

I think the problem lies in the fact that satire is mockery. Mockery, by nature, is disrespectful and this site doesn't support that.