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Thanks
Winter Parmesan and Myself, Tortellini
Two days banned, forever scarred...
This is a tale of Torte de Lini. Although it’d be rather great to take a leaf from the Peanuts comic books and start with: “It was a dark and stormy night”, I’m going to tell it accurately: It may have been a dark and stormy night, but I was too busy being indoor to tell! It was February 24th, 2011. A time of technological advances, bad jokes and cheap junk food, a time where instantaneous information was taken for granted and people used the extent of the “internet” to play games and other trivial matters. Torte de Lini (also known to his friends as Torte de Weenie or to those who go on the forums: that guy who doesn’t shut up) was masquerading all over the Team Liquid forums when he noticed an interesting topic: “Ask the TL staff anything!” (click here). To the mind of Torte de Lini, this was genius! He could ask anything and the staff would be obligated to answer. Dare he ask for great websites to look for porn due to Torte de Lini’s inability to think of anything besides food? Nah, he was well-aware that their tastes of men or women are not up to par to the women Torte de Lini could get with his ravishing good looks and amazing personality traits (but ironically needs porn to suppress his sexual levels…). How about if he could be a staff member? But that, too, would strike fear in the hearts of the staff members (except for Chill, we all know he has a spare heart from all the banned users he’s ripped from their bodies). Hm… what to ask? Why ask when you can just reply and piggy-back on other people’s questions:
Alas, it seemed someone wanted to call his bluff. If Torte de Lini can get to 200 posts without getting a warning within a week, then the member gets a temp. ban of two days:
While it was presumed that Torte de Lini would win, the unthinkable occurred: a warning [b]I’d post the warning, but I don’t think we’re allowed D; but the reason was something along the lines of “haha, this is a warning from one of the staff members, don’t reply because none of us can read!”. With a punctured pride and a sole and cliché tear in his eye, Torte de Lini resigned and admitted to his utter fate:
Original Message From Meapak_Ziphh:
Dude... I was the person Mani was talking to in his original qoute... and if I didn't have access you would have outed it because it was referenced in your warning PM
To be honest, I only made the bet because you posted an image macro so I went and posted that comment about you being banned in the thread but when I looked back at the other thread several mods had posted and you weren't banned and then I learned you already had a report button so I was preparing my concession because I figure you had some special relationship with the mods lol.
.Dude... I was the person Mani was talking to in his original qoute... and if I didn't have access you would have outed it because it was referenced in your warning PM
To be honest, I only made the bet because you posted an image macro so I went and posted that comment about you being banned in the thread but when I looked back at the other thread several mods had posted and you weren't banned and then I learned you already had a report button so I was preparing my concession because I figure you had some special relationship with the mods lol.
As if the evidence wasn’t clear enough, it was clear that Torte de Lini’s nemesis was being provocative with false kindness and pretentious douchebaggery. Torte de Lini has already admitted defeat and he dares to let him off the bet like a coward!? Nonsense! BLASPHEMY! UNACCEPTABLE!
Torte de Lini, defeated, fell into his coffin, his bed that only cradled him with warmth, but couldn’t bring the sunshine into his discouraged eyes and hurt mind. He knew that tomorrow would be pointless, futile to even wake up. The very words would be forever imprinted in his mind:
BANNED
He proceeded to do as Chill would after a long day of moderating: cry himself to sleep and so Torte de Lini wept, wept long and hard until the sun rose and his back ached from the deep sorrows that dripped from his glossed eyes. It was a long night, but the day would prove itself to be longer. A competition of day and night toyed in the exhaustive night of Torte de Lini…
***
Coming onto the forums, Torte de Lini saw what he knew would come and understood the repercussions. The reason?
Now what to do? What about posting? You have been banned until Feb 27 2011. Banned users cannot post or send PMs. Oh joy. An eternal reminder at the top of the forums, telling me that I’m an outcast, a loser, the ground people spit on and mock for one’s inability to follow the simple rules. The irony here is that I just got done telling everyone how stupidly easy it is to follow the 10 commandments:
On February 25 2011 03:31 Torte de Lini wrote:
I think those who can't manage themselves are a bit of the psychopaths. There are only 10 rules on TL.net and they're just confines of civility you would have in real life.
How fucking hard is it to follow them?
Let me give you the rules in very Layman's terms:
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=17883
And those are the rules. They're overlapping practically. I don't understand how anyone can get banned unless they're psychopaths. Warned? Yeah, I got warned, but because I failed to abide to the formal public warning. But that's it.
I'm getting breaking news right now: The mods are people Does this mean that there's leniency within the staff when you unintentionally break a rule?
Blasphemy!
(http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=195716¤tpage=4#71)I think those who can't manage themselves are a bit of the psychopaths. There are only 10 rules on TL.net and they're just confines of civility you would have in real life.
How fucking hard is it to follow them?
Let me give you the rules in very Layman's terms:
- 1. My house, my rules, bitch. What I say, goes. If yo aren't paying for the roof, you don't get to woof
- 2. Don't waste time and stop being a whiny hole where the sun doesn't shine. Be civil and contain yourself. Don't do what you don't like others doing to you.
- 3. Think before opening your mouth
- 4. If you're living under my house, earn your place around here. This isn't your home, it's my home. Contribute or add to the upkeeping.
- 5. Don't not be contributory. Oh and don't use double-negatives
- 6. Respect your elders. They've earned their keep. They know how shit works and news flash: they've somehow managed to be civil and respectable people
- 7. Speak English. It's just easier that way.
- 8. Be who you are suppose to be. If you're Kathy Griffin, stay the hell away. If you're Johnny Carson, come on in.
- 9. You must be this literate to enter TL.net
- 10. Have fun, I didn't build this swingset to have tea in it.
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=17883
And those are the rules. They're overlapping practically. I don't understand how anyone can get banned unless they're psychopaths. Warned? Yeah, I got warned, but because I failed to abide to the formal public warning. But that's it.
I'm getting breaking news right now: The mods are people Does this mean that there's leniency within the staff when you unintentionally break a rule?
Blasphemy!
How ironic! Paranoia that the mods are clearly disgruntled with me had me look away, turn the other cheek and sigh relentlessly. How can I contribute to TeamLiquid without posting on their forums? Maybe I’ll just moderate and report people. But alas, MY PRECIOUS REPORT BUTTON IS GONE, THE VERY ONE BROOD GRANTED TO ME (QQ)! This is blasphemy! Banned users can’t report other users? How does that make sense at all? That’s so fucking ridiculous! Why can’t banned users report? Aren’t they the exact people that would know who to report since they are banned and thus can identify other users who should be banned or are in violation of the rules? Talk about a wasted resource, silly Team Liquid! This is no different than how Bronze players are the most skilled in all of Battle.net (those who know, know this is true)! Since I can’t notify any TL Staff member of this blunder, I might as well move on: how about streaming? Doesn't seem to be working...
Right… a blog entry perhaps? Let me creative mind flow during these dark, dark times?
Sigh… so now what? Brush up on my pick-up lines to further advance my chances to be with Plexa or lilsusie besides exchanging thoughts of one another within the realm of my imagination? Nah…
Oh what of Liquipedia? Surely I can contribute there! Graffiti some ideas on a leaflet and dogtail it for future use and laughter? Let’s see…
Silly me, I forgot that all banned members are to be stigmatized and labeled (see sociology -> labeling theory). I QQ’d harder than a typical Zerg player would on Steppes of War and realized that no one loves me or has posted a single disagreement with my ban. An unjust ban due to hasty betting and confidence. Is it wrong for me to be confident, good-looking and sensibly attractive with my words of enlightenment and slight exaggeration, especially in this lesson-learned tale of the day of a banned user?
Resolved and lonely on the other side of this figurative fence, I went on IRC. Let’s see them ban me on the IRC:
[13:47] == TorteDeLini [webchat@modemcable010.19-56-74.mc.videotron.ca] has joined #liquipedia
[13:47] <TorteDeLini> Hi
[13:47] <[Antoine]> tortedebanned
[13:48] <TorteDeLini> nun-uh
[13:48] <TorteDeLini> I'm playing the Tutorial on SC2
[13:48] <TorteDeLini> She's such a nice person
[13:49] <@salle[]> she?
[13:49] <TorteDeLini> The android lady that I can't remember her name.
[13:49] <TorteDeLini> er robot
[13:50] <TorteDeLini> She's like: 'Ello, please train a Morrouder" with her accent.
[13:50] <TorteDeLini> And I'm "al'right sweetie pie, anything you say <33"
[13:47] <TorteDeLini> Hi
[13:47] <[Antoine]> tortedebanned
[13:48] <TorteDeLini> nun-uh
[13:48] <TorteDeLini> I'm playing the Tutorial on SC2
[13:48] <TorteDeLini> She's such a nice person
[13:49] <@salle[]> she?
[13:49] <TorteDeLini> The android lady that I can't remember her name.
[13:49] <TorteDeLini> er robot
[13:50] <TorteDeLini> She's like: 'Ello, please train a Morrouder" with her accent.
[13:50] <TorteDeLini> And I'm "al'right sweetie pie, anything you say <33"
Even on the Liquipedia IRC, I get mocked for my indecency. I put up a strong front, but I could feel my tail between my legs and my head hung at a new low!
[15:28] <Blueblister> HAHAHApoor torte TT
[15:28] <Blueblister> Blie
[15:28] <Blueblister> Blueblister signs off
[15:28] <Blueblister> Good night folks!
[15:30] <TorteDeLini> Not funny D:<
[15:30] <TorteDeLini> For meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
[15:30] <TorteDeLini> All the cool people chill here, so I'mma chill here for now on~
[15:32] <@salle[]> gnite Blueblister
[15:32] <@Pholon> ô_ô
[15:33] <TorteDeLini> Sup cool people
[15:33] <[Antoine]> this place is too surface now, with torte here
[15:34] <TorteDeLini> D:<
[15:34] <TorteDeLini> why the h8 m8
[15:34] <@Imperator_> Haha.
[15:34] <TorteDeLini> I'm the top (potential) liquipedia contributor here D:<
[15:34] == Blueblister [webchat@90-224-142-137-no110.business.telia.com] has quit [Ping timeout]
[15:34] <@Imperator_> LOL
[15:34] <@Imperator_> How many edits do you have Torte?
[15:34] <TorteDeLini> potentially thousands
[15:35] <@Imperator_> Ah.
[15:35] <TorteDeLini> I can't log in, so I can't edit.
[15:35] <@Imperator_> I don't have "potentially" thousands.
[15:35] <TorteDeLini> That's because you're not me
[15:35] <@Imperator_> The side effect of losing a bet.
[15:35] <TorteDeLini> Be me
[15:35] <TorteDeLini> I let him win.
[15:35] <@Imperator_> But I like posting on TL.
[15:35] <TorteDeLini> me toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
[15:36] <@Imperator_> Then why did you let him win?
[15:36] <TorteDeLini> I was making the other posters look weak
[15:36] <TorteDeLini> Didn't want to hurt everyone's feelings ):
[15:37] <TorteDeLini> Now that I can't post, I wanna do edits, but it won't let me D:<
[15:37] <@salle[]> but you wouldn't have wanted to post on lp if you hadn't been banned on tl?
[15:38] <@salle[]> or "edit" LP ...
[15:38] <TorteDeLini> touche :3
[15:38] <TorteDeLini> If you guys temp. ban me for a week, I just go to another aspect of TL
[15:38] <TorteDeLini> So I end up doing edits @_@
[15:28] <Blueblister> Blie
[15:28] <Blueblister> Blueblister signs off
[15:28] <Blueblister> Good night folks!
[15:30] <TorteDeLini> Not funny D:<
[15:30] <TorteDeLini> For meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
[15:30] <TorteDeLini> All the cool people chill here, so I'mma chill here for now on~
[15:32] <@salle[]> gnite Blueblister
[15:32] <@Pholon> ô_ô
[15:33] <TorteDeLini> Sup cool people
[15:33] <[Antoine]> this place is too surface now, with torte here
[15:34] <TorteDeLini> D:<
[15:34] <TorteDeLini> why the h8 m8
[15:34] <@Imperator_> Haha.
[15:34] <TorteDeLini> I'm the top (potential) liquipedia contributor here D:<
[15:34] == Blueblister [webchat@90-224-142-137-no110.business.telia.com] has quit [Ping timeout]
[15:34] <@Imperator_> LOL
[15:34] <@Imperator_> How many edits do you have Torte?
[15:34] <TorteDeLini> potentially thousands
[15:35] <@Imperator_> Ah.
[15:35] <TorteDeLini> I can't log in, so I can't edit.
[15:35] <@Imperator_> I don't have "potentially" thousands.
[15:35] <TorteDeLini> That's because you're not me
[15:35] <@Imperator_> The side effect of losing a bet.
[15:35] <TorteDeLini> Be me
[15:35] <TorteDeLini> I let him win.
[15:35] <@Imperator_> But I like posting on TL.
[15:35] <TorteDeLini> me toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
[15:36] <@Imperator_> Then why did you let him win?
[15:36] <TorteDeLini> I was making the other posters look weak
[15:36] <TorteDeLini> Didn't want to hurt everyone's feelings ):
[15:37] <TorteDeLini> Now that I can't post, I wanna do edits, but it won't let me D:<
[15:37] <@salle[]> but you wouldn't have wanted to post on lp if you hadn't been banned on tl?
[15:38] <@salle[]> or "edit" LP ...
[15:38] <TorteDeLini> touche :3
[15:38] <TorteDeLini> If you guys temp. ban me for a week, I just go to another aspect of TL
[15:38] <TorteDeLini> So I end up doing edits @_@
Mocked even further by Antoine, I confront him with my letters and numbers, but it appears he just cowers into the abyss of silence as I continue to reign dominance and cheer into this IRC
[15:43] <TorteDeLini> So how about them Knicks?
[15:44] <TorteDeLini> I don't really watch B-Ball
[15:44] <TorteDeLini> What do you watch then?
[15:44] <TorteDeLini> Starcraft 2 games.
[15:44] <TorteDeLini> Wow, what a nerd...
[15:45] <TorteDeLini> Nah, SC2 are kind of like sporting events, several members with high-levels of testosterone yell about grown men duking it out on an arena-like stadium from various locations of the world as we, the members, spectate via large electronic squares.
[15:45] * salle[] wonders if TorteDeLini is starting to lose his grip of sanity from not being able to post on his favorite forum
[15:45] <TorteDeLini> You have a point, but I don't think it should be consider a sport.
[15:46] <+disciple> oh TorteDeLini
[15:46] <TorteDeLini> I think what you're thinking of is physical sports. To which SC2 is not, but starcraft 2 is a competitive sport testing the mental capabilities and understanding of the game both players are competing on. It combines many aspects of sports and intergrates them into an interesting game and gameplay.
[15:46] <+disciple> why you got banned man
[15:46] <+disciple> Im your fan
[15:46] <TorteDeLini> Strategy, communication, mental strength and healthy competition is what makes many games, despite not physical, very competitive and very interesting to watch.
[15:46] <TorteDeLini> I lost a bet ):
[15:44] <TorteDeLini> I don't really watch B-Ball
[15:44] <TorteDeLini> What do you watch then?
[15:44] <TorteDeLini> Starcraft 2 games.
[15:44] <TorteDeLini> Wow, what a nerd...
[15:45] <TorteDeLini> Nah, SC2 are kind of like sporting events, several members with high-levels of testosterone yell about grown men duking it out on an arena-like stadium from various locations of the world as we, the members, spectate via large electronic squares.
[15:45] * salle[] wonders if TorteDeLini is starting to lose his grip of sanity from not being able to post on his favorite forum
[15:45] <TorteDeLini> You have a point, but I don't think it should be consider a sport.
[15:46] <+disciple> oh TorteDeLini
[15:46] <TorteDeLini> I think what you're thinking of is physical sports. To which SC2 is not, but starcraft 2 is a competitive sport testing the mental capabilities and understanding of the game both players are competing on. It combines many aspects of sports and intergrates them into an interesting game and gameplay.
[15:46] <+disciple> why you got banned man
[15:46] <+disciple> Im your fan
[15:46] <TorteDeLini> Strategy, communication, mental strength and healthy competition is what makes many games, despite not physical, very competitive and very interesting to watch.
[15:46] <TorteDeLini> I lost a bet ):
Striving for attention and a friend, I aimlessly start babbling to myself. Recreating my love for TL within their own IRC and moderating it. A fan, Disciple, screams in excitement of my presence, but it wasn’t long before Antoine ruined the party once more:
[15:47] <[Antoine]> what in the world is going on
[15:47] <TorteDeLini> I made my own forum on LP's IRC. I'm the top poster and top mod in here.
[15:47] <TorteDeLini> I moderate my own posts and conversations
[15:47] <TorteDeLini> I'm that pro.
[15:47] <TorteDeLini> I just got my pro-poster license.
[15:47] <TorteDeLini> I made my own forum on LP's IRC. I'm the top poster and top mod in here.
[15:47] <TorteDeLini> I moderate my own posts and conversations
[15:47] <TorteDeLini> I'm that pro.
[15:47] <TorteDeLini> I just got my pro-poster license.
Antoine, back in his rabbit hole, plots another question to interrupt me with as I continue to trudge conversations with myself:
[15:48] <TorteDeLini> Wow, you're so right Torte de Lini, Starcraft 2 may not be a physical sport, but it is a sport on its own. I whole-heartedly support your views and will now start watching Starcraft 2 games and its long history of drama, competition and thrill.
[15:48] <@salle[]> they never say that though
[15:49] <TorteDeLini> I always say that D:<
[15:49] <@salle[]> they say taht "you're wrong and I know what sport is and it's handegg!!! so there!!!!"
[15:49] <TorteDeLini> Oh
[15:49] <TorteDeLini> I can make it more realistic.
[15:49] <@salle[]> plz do
[15:49] <@salle[]> I could use a few pointers on how to convert non-believers
[15:49] <TorteDeLini> so ezzzzzzzzzz
[15:50] <@salle[]> foshizzle?
[15:50] <TorteDeLini> Oh fuck you Torte de Lini, what a load of shit. Starcraft 2 a sport? Give me a break, is walking my dog a sport because I can compete with others in races around the block hopping over baby carriages?
[15:51] <TorteDeLini> Starcraft is just a bunch of nerds sitting in front of their computers because they're too lazy to go outside and play a real sport. Why aren't all video-games consider sports and why does the general population not value video-game e-sports as much as actual sports.
[15:51] <TorteDeLini> I reported you, so a mod should handle your ass easily, but to refute your poor reply: E-sports are not as popular as actual sports because electronics and their implicit value in our civilization is relatively young in comparison to Sports and say the Olympics.
[15:52] <TorteDeLini> Secondly, I think you have a narrow-minded view of what a sport is, let's take a look at the Merriam-Webster dictionary: "A sport is an organized, competitive, entertaining, and skillful activity requiring commitment, strategy, and fair play, in which a winner can be defined by objective means."
[15:53] <TorteDeLini> Does Starcraft not fall into those lines? It's organized, it's competitive nad entertaining to those who know the sport and skill is proportionate to how the game is structured.
[15:53] <@salle[]> doesn't also say "physical activity?"
[15:53] <TorteDeLini> Exactly.
[15:53] <TorteDeLini> That Torte de Lini guy is an idiot.
[15:54] <TorteDeLini> Also, not all video-games are sports because some developpers prefer the game to be played at a casual level and intentionally make the game not geared towards competition. A fine example of this is Super Smash Bros. Brawl
[15:54] <TorteDeLini> Which the creator intentionally added some luck and random effects to the game to diminish the competitive nature of it since the game was not balanced in that way.
[15:54] <TorteDeLini> See? Easy.
[15:54] <TorteDeLini> What is Torte de Lini going to say to what Torte de Lini said?
[15:54] <TorteDeLini> Pft, nothing.
[15:55] <TorteDeLini> You're right, fucking four-eyes nerd Torte de Lini, get a life and stop reiterating obvious conoctions of logic and open-mindedness. Why don't you go outside and get a girl.
[15:56] <TorteDeLini> This is coming from the guy who's trying to disprove that e-sports are actual sports? Ha, sounds you need to go outside, take a breather and perhaps read up on basic English kthx
[15:48] <@salle[]> they never say that though
[15:49] <TorteDeLini> I always say that D:<
[15:49] <@salle[]> they say taht "you're wrong and I know what sport is and it's handegg!!! so there!!!!"
[15:49] <TorteDeLini> Oh
[15:49] <TorteDeLini> I can make it more realistic.
[15:49] <@salle[]> plz do
[15:49] <@salle[]> I could use a few pointers on how to convert non-believers
[15:49] <TorteDeLini> so ezzzzzzzzzz
[15:50] <@salle[]> foshizzle?
[15:50] <TorteDeLini> Oh fuck you Torte de Lini, what a load of shit. Starcraft 2 a sport? Give me a break, is walking my dog a sport because I can compete with others in races around the block hopping over baby carriages?
[15:51] <TorteDeLini> Starcraft is just a bunch of nerds sitting in front of their computers because they're too lazy to go outside and play a real sport. Why aren't all video-games consider sports and why does the general population not value video-game e-sports as much as actual sports.
[15:51] <TorteDeLini> I reported you, so a mod should handle your ass easily, but to refute your poor reply: E-sports are not as popular as actual sports because electronics and their implicit value in our civilization is relatively young in comparison to Sports and say the Olympics.
[15:52] <TorteDeLini> Secondly, I think you have a narrow-minded view of what a sport is, let's take a look at the Merriam-Webster dictionary: "A sport is an organized, competitive, entertaining, and skillful activity requiring commitment, strategy, and fair play, in which a winner can be defined by objective means."
[15:53] <TorteDeLini> Does Starcraft not fall into those lines? It's organized, it's competitive nad entertaining to those who know the sport and skill is proportionate to how the game is structured.
[15:53] <@salle[]> doesn't also say "physical activity?"
[15:53] <TorteDeLini> Exactly.
[15:53] <TorteDeLini> That Torte de Lini guy is an idiot.
[15:54] <TorteDeLini> Also, not all video-games are sports because some developpers prefer the game to be played at a casual level and intentionally make the game not geared towards competition. A fine example of this is Super Smash Bros. Brawl
[15:54] <TorteDeLini> Which the creator intentionally added some luck and random effects to the game to diminish the competitive nature of it since the game was not balanced in that way.
[15:54] <TorteDeLini> See? Easy.
[15:54] <TorteDeLini> What is Torte de Lini going to say to what Torte de Lini said?
[15:54] <TorteDeLini> Pft, nothing.
[15:55] <TorteDeLini> You're right, fucking four-eyes nerd Torte de Lini, get a life and stop reiterating obvious conoctions of logic and open-mindedness. Why don't you go outside and get a girl.
[15:56] <TorteDeLini> This is coming from the guy who's trying to disprove that e-sports are actual sports? Ha, sounds you need to go outside, take a breather and perhaps read up on basic English kthx
A good conversation turned sour due to Torte de Lini’s incessant back and forth. Salle, tiresome of this banter heads off to do laundry. Torte de Lini, unsure of what to do, let’s his mind wander, testing the waters for any banhammers:
[15:56] <@salle[]> brb ... laundry.
[15:57] <TorteDeLini> Off into the distance, we hear the churns and whirls of Salle's washing machine.
[15:59] <TorteDeLini> To its side, its faithful companion: the dryer, waits earnestly for his next job, a pair of underwear? Some socks? The favourite sweater? In the past Dryer has had its shortcomings; sometimes letting in a red crayon or a pink bra ruining Salle's sheets and humiliating him in the comfort of his own home! The dryer has felt the same but tries to redeem itself by drying Salle's clothes as fast as possible with as little static as he can.
[15:59] <Puosu> This channel confuses me greatly
[16:00] <TorteDeLini> Dryer understands that he may be imperfect, that it may not be the fastest dryer of the bunch, but when he's beside his faithful companion: the washing machine, there's nothing the dryer can't do. This surge of faith, companionship and friendship has dryer motivated every evening to drying the very clothes Salle dumps in its lap.
[16:02] <TorteDeLini> Is this an infactuation? A deafening love that no other group of machines and appliances can understand? Doubtful, this isn't Nicolas Sparks, but then again, what the washing machine and dryer have together is something no one can take away. No lightning storm can shut these guys off and no blackouts can ruin their primodial need for one another. They share stories together like that time where a sock managed to escape the clutches of Salle's hands for 3 straight loads
[16:03] <TorteDeLini> The time where that handtowel hid on the roof of the dryer, leaving Salle to have wet hands for a whole week! Good times both machines had and now, they'll make another moment together as Salle reiterates the magic words: "Brb ... laundry." Salle understands the duty of laundry.
[16:04] <TorteDeLini> Salle knows that laundry is the reason the two machines live, laugh, dance together. It's what keeps them together and strong, What reminds them why they matter and how laundry defines their very selves!
[15:57] <TorteDeLini> Off into the distance, we hear the churns and whirls of Salle's washing machine.
[15:59] <TorteDeLini> To its side, its faithful companion: the dryer, waits earnestly for his next job, a pair of underwear? Some socks? The favourite sweater? In the past Dryer has had its shortcomings; sometimes letting in a red crayon or a pink bra ruining Salle's sheets and humiliating him in the comfort of his own home! The dryer has felt the same but tries to redeem itself by drying Salle's clothes as fast as possible with as little static as he can.
[15:59] <Puosu> This channel confuses me greatly
[16:00] <TorteDeLini> Dryer understands that he may be imperfect, that it may not be the fastest dryer of the bunch, but when he's beside his faithful companion: the washing machine, there's nothing the dryer can't do. This surge of faith, companionship and friendship has dryer motivated every evening to drying the very clothes Salle dumps in its lap.
[16:02] <TorteDeLini> Is this an infactuation? A deafening love that no other group of machines and appliances can understand? Doubtful, this isn't Nicolas Sparks, but then again, what the washing machine and dryer have together is something no one can take away. No lightning storm can shut these guys off and no blackouts can ruin their primodial need for one another. They share stories together like that time where a sock managed to escape the clutches of Salle's hands for 3 straight loads
[16:03] <TorteDeLini> The time where that handtowel hid on the roof of the dryer, leaving Salle to have wet hands for a whole week! Good times both machines had and now, they'll make another moment together as Salle reiterates the magic words: "Brb ... laundry." Salle understands the duty of laundry.
[16:04] <TorteDeLini> Salle knows that laundry is the reason the two machines live, laugh, dance together. It's what keeps them together and strong, What reminds them why they matter and how laundry defines their very selves!
Right when the story gets good, Salle interrupts with his corrections. Spoken like a true Liquipedian, amirite?
[16:04] <@salle[]> hehe I actually check the dryer and washing machine by turning them around 180 degrees so if anything is stuck I'll get it out
[16:04] <TorteDeLini> BUZZKILLINGTON EVERYONE^
[16:04] <@salle[]> and there's actually 3 machines... two washing machines and one tumble dryer
[16:04] <@Imperator_> Why does this channel confuse you Puosu?
[16:05] <TorteDeLini> omg
[16:05] <TorteDeLini> 3?
[16:05] <@salle[]> yeah
[16:05] <TorteDeLini> That's so dramatic!
[16:05] <@salle[]> I guess they're polyamorous
[16:05] <TorteDeLini> New sexy tumble dryer
[16:05] <TorteDeLini> fpfappfpafp
[16:05] <@salle[]> and the washing machines a bit bi
[16:05] <TorteDeLini> and two women washing machines fighting for his love.
[16:05] <TorteDeLini> oh snap
[16:04] <TorteDeLini> BUZZKILLINGTON EVERYONE^
[16:04] <@salle[]> and there's actually 3 machines... two washing machines and one tumble dryer
[16:04] <@Imperator_> Why does this channel confuse you Puosu?
[16:05] <TorteDeLini> omg
[16:05] <TorteDeLini> 3?
[16:05] <@salle[]> yeah
[16:05] <TorteDeLini> That's so dramatic!
[16:05] <@salle[]> I guess they're polyamorous
[16:05] <TorteDeLini> New sexy tumble dryer
[16:05] <TorteDeLini> fpfappfpafp
[16:05] <@salle[]> and the washing machines a bit bi
[16:05] <TorteDeLini> and two women washing machines fighting for his love.
[16:05] <TorteDeLini> oh snap
Despite this intriguing bit of new information, the conversation shifted and Torte de Lini’s writing took another step in description:
[16:06] <@salle[]> Puosu : don't try to think too much
[16:06] <TorteDeLini> I'm confused of this channel too... all the cool people are the silent types :/
[16:06] <TorteDeLini> If I was a young dame, I'd be swooning left and right and all the guys being so reserved.
[16:06] <TorteDeLini> at all*
[16:07] <@salle[]> TorteDeLini : does that mean I'm not cool?
[16:07] <TorteDeLini> Au contraire.
[16:07] <@salle[]>
[16:07] <@salle[]> ohhh
[16:07] <TorteDeLini> You're of color
[16:07] <TorteDeLini> Thus you are a colorful person, an interesting personality.
[16:08] <TorteDeLini> Your array of charm is easily understood by the need to use the color of red and the "@" symbol, showing your creativity and desire to be noticed.
[16:08] <TorteDeLini> To attract attention of men and women, savoring in the eyes that you've managed to revolve around you.
[16:08] <TorteDeLini> Your enticing tale of the washer and dryer has dazzled many readers, listeners and admirers as they all swarm towards you in need of more of your epic and enthralling tales
[16:09] <TorteDeLini> Cool would be an understatement, an unjust form of defining your brilliance and mesmerizing personality traits that one can only hope to imitate, but fail to replicate perfectly.
[16:09] <@Imperator_> Fascinating.
[16:10] <TorteDeLini> ^cool reserved type emitting little emotion to sustain his portayal of confidence to which all women admire
[16:11] * salle[] just smiles and shakes his head
[16:12] <TorteDeLini> ^copycat
[16:13] <@salle[]> I'm just speachless I'm really not trying to be cool and reserved
[16:06] <TorteDeLini> I'm confused of this channel too... all the cool people are the silent types :/
[16:06] <TorteDeLini> If I was a young dame, I'd be swooning left and right and all the guys being so reserved.
[16:06] <TorteDeLini> at all*
[16:07] <@salle[]> TorteDeLini : does that mean I'm not cool?
[16:07] <TorteDeLini> Au contraire.
[16:07] <@salle[]>
[16:07] <@salle[]> ohhh
[16:07] <TorteDeLini> You're of color
[16:07] <TorteDeLini> Thus you are a colorful person, an interesting personality.
[16:08] <TorteDeLini> Your array of charm is easily understood by the need to use the color of red and the "@" symbol, showing your creativity and desire to be noticed.
[16:08] <TorteDeLini> To attract attention of men and women, savoring in the eyes that you've managed to revolve around you.
[16:08] <TorteDeLini> Your enticing tale of the washer and dryer has dazzled many readers, listeners and admirers as they all swarm towards you in need of more of your epic and enthralling tales
[16:09] <TorteDeLini> Cool would be an understatement, an unjust form of defining your brilliance and mesmerizing personality traits that one can only hope to imitate, but fail to replicate perfectly.
[16:09] <@Imperator_> Fascinating.
[16:10] <TorteDeLini> ^cool reserved type emitting little emotion to sustain his portayal of confidence to which all women admire
[16:11] * salle[] just smiles and shakes his head
[16:12] <TorteDeLini> ^copycat
[16:13] <@salle[]> I'm just speachless I'm really not trying to be cool and reserved
If you’re wondering if the rest of this story is in an edited IRC format that is missing several parts due to its irrelevancy, you can rest assured that it is!
[16:19] <TorteDeLini> Holy shit, I have to wait out another day after this.
[16:19] <@salle[]> all words form your vocabulary though... but I guess those are the ones for like SAT and stuff?
[16:19] <@salle[]> TorteDeLini : try to do something else you like
[16:19] <TorteDeLini> I like communication.
[16:19] <TorteDeLini> I enjoy the interaction of other people and their shared opinions, views and understanding of our world and subcultures.
[16:19] <@salle[]> or write one huge epic forum thread OP?
[16:19] <TorteDeLini> Not allowed.
[16:20] <@salle[]> well not to post it
[16:20] <@salle[]> but if you write for 8+ hours it'll be great
[16:20] <@salle[]> and take lots of time to complete
[16:20] <TorteDeLini> I used to write long blog entries in TL Blogs ;D
[16:20] <TorteDeLini> Yeah, but we all know the replies will be absent since the attention span of many is severely diminished.
[16:20] <@Imperator_> You should write about being banned from TL for two days.
[16:20] <TorteDeLini> lololol
[16:20] <TorteDeLini> omg yes
[16:20] <@Imperator_> Your thoughts, fear, etc.
[16:21] <TorteDeLini> I shall
[16:21] <TorteDeLini> and I'll incorportate characters
[16:21] <TorteDeLini> kbrb
[16:21] <@Imperator_> Haha.
[16:21] <TorteDeLini> Washer and Dryer will finally get their story!
[16:21] <@salle[]> LOL
[16:23] <TorteDeLini> This is of a tale of Torte de Lini. Although it’d be rather great to take a leaf from the Peanuts comic books and start with: “It was a dark and stormy night”, I’m going to tell it accurately: It may have been a dark and stormy night, but I was too busy being in doors to tell!
[16:23] <TorteDeLini> Good start!
[16:23] <@Imperator_> lol
[16:25] <@salle[]> also you can say that it's probably a dark and stormy night somewhere if not right outside your door
[16:19] <@salle[]> all words form your vocabulary though... but I guess those are the ones for like SAT and stuff?
[16:19] <@salle[]> TorteDeLini : try to do something else you like
[16:19] <TorteDeLini> I like communication.
[16:19] <TorteDeLini> I enjoy the interaction of other people and their shared opinions, views and understanding of our world and subcultures.
[16:19] <@salle[]> or write one huge epic forum thread OP?
[16:19] <TorteDeLini> Not allowed.
[16:20] <@salle[]> well not to post it
[16:20] <@salle[]> but if you write for 8+ hours it'll be great
[16:20] <@salle[]> and take lots of time to complete
[16:20] <TorteDeLini> I used to write long blog entries in TL Blogs ;D
[16:20] <TorteDeLini> Yeah, but we all know the replies will be absent since the attention span of many is severely diminished.
[16:20] <@Imperator_> You should write about being banned from TL for two days.
[16:20] <TorteDeLini> lololol
[16:20] <TorteDeLini> omg yes
[16:20] <@Imperator_> Your thoughts, fear, etc.
[16:21] <TorteDeLini> I shall
[16:21] <TorteDeLini> and I'll incorportate characters
[16:21] <TorteDeLini> kbrb
[16:21] <@Imperator_> Haha.
[16:21] <TorteDeLini> Washer and Dryer will finally get their story!
[16:21] <@salle[]> LOL
[16:23] <TorteDeLini> This is of a tale of Torte de Lini. Although it’d be rather great to take a leaf from the Peanuts comic books and start with: “It was a dark and stormy night”, I’m going to tell it accurately: It may have been a dark and stormy night, but I was too busy being in doors to tell!
[16:23] <TorteDeLini> Good start!
[16:23] <@Imperator_> lol
[16:25] <@salle[]> also you can say that it's probably a dark and stormy night somewhere if not right outside your door
And so I typed away, furiously. I wondered aloud if I promised to do some community services for Team Liquid like writing this horrifying bored-defying tale as a warning to everyone who thinks being banned is cool (beans). I can go into classrooms and tell them of the frightening adventures of being exiled someplace on the internet. Scare them to never try cybersex without blackslashing a condom!
So there you have it. Day 1 of my journey into the shrouded savage place outside of Team Liquid without my report function, permission to stream or acknowledgement to blog of my toils. IRC only a step outside the kingdom of Team Liquid, I still feel isolated and alone, my peers and staff members looking down to me in shame and hatred.
If you’re wondering how productive I was on Day 2, I decided to draw accurate portraits of many of our staff members! I hope they enjoy it and I added instructions so they can impress their friends!
-
Cpt. Capital Letters GHOSTCLAW! -
I choose you Pusou! -
Sir Excalibur Z(orro)!
As you can tell, Day 2 was a very artsy day. These accurate depictions will be difficult for all to replicate, but I also feel that I learned a lot about myself. I’m a great poster and contributor on TL, I’m potentially superb at editing Liquipedia articles and I’m an expressive artist in the writing and art department as well as the administrative and moderating positions! I think we can all conclude why I was truly banned on TL…
If you’re looking for a tl;dr version of this, here it is: Being banned sucks, if you get banned from Team Liquid, you might as well resign yourself to a place of solitude and play the tutorial on Starcraft 2.
Many thanks to everyone I mentioned in this story :3!