EPT
So a little more than eight months ago, I entered a long-distance relationship with an absolutely amazing girl. I felt a connection between us that was stronger than the distance between us, and I was largely right. In less than three months, I found myself flying across the country to meet her for the last three weeks of my summer vacation, and it was amazing. I got to know her family and her on a personal level, and I felt the connection grow even stronger.
However, upon going home, I realized things weren't as great as they seemed. Distance, while not a problem for me, proved to be difficult for her to cope with. I tried to convince her that everything would be okay. We went through some rough patches of uncertainty and fear, but we ended up being okay.
During the winter break, she surprised me with a visit to my home for the three weeks we could muster, and things were amazing again. She got along fantastically with my friends and family, and by the end of the vacation, I found myself looking forward to nothing more than to be with her again.
But again, the pain of distance reared its ugly head. Personal problems back home that I couldn't help her with combined with the distance between us started to pile onto her, along with the natural stress of school responsibilities. This culminated in the past few nights, where we discussed the future of our relationship.
At first, she expressed her fears that we were moving too quickly. Despite the five-hour time difference, we made small sacrifices in our lives to do things like go to sleep at the same time and call each other on the phone every night. She felt that we wouldn't always be able to do those kinds of things for each other, and proposed we add a little emotional distance between us. I said okay, knowing well that the physical distance troubled her so much.
Was that a mistake? It might prove to have been because yesterday night, she told me that she would just rather be friends. Spending time apart from her for the past few days, I saw something. She seemed legitimately happy. Now it may be hard to discern something like this through the Internet, but I could feel it. She seemed a lot more lighthearted and less stressed.
When all was said and done... I agreed to it. She seems happier, and in the end that's all that really matters to me. But I can't help but feel that I gave up too easily on something that means so much to me this time. She's proposed splitting because of distance before, but I never conceded the point and always convinced her that things would be okay. I couldn't help but feel like I was fighting a battle with inevitability and that we were pushing these feelings under the rug.
But still, even if we're still close friends... I can't help but feel empty. The entire relationship had me feeling feelings that I had never felt before, and feeling more strongly than I had before about anything. I guess it ends like that, too.
What's the easiest way to cope with something like this?
