|
I'm what one might call "protective." When emotionally attached to someone, especially if the person is female, I get a little protective. I just want them to be happy and safe, and if possible, do what I can to facilitate that.
I don't think anything is wrong with that. I think caring about someone and doing what you can to improve their well being is a good thing. A lot of people don't have someone to protect them.
However, too much of a good thing is a bad thing. Personally, I do not see myself as overprotective. Some people are, and you can tell. They're overbearing and controlling. They think they know better than you. They tell you what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. They take caring about someone and turn it into controlling that someone, instead of letting that someone be who they are.
I don't think there's an exact line between being protective and overprotective, but I do think it's obvious when you're one or the other.
Sometimes I think best visually and therefore can describe something using admittedly cheesy analogies: When a friend falls, help them back up. Don't try to stop everything from happening to them in the first place; just be there when something does happen.
|
reminds me of how badly i always wanted a little sister. But instead im the youngest. Atleast my cousin has 2 kids of apropriate age i can be protective about. Too bad they live on the other side of sweden though :/
|
On February 11 2011 14:10 Starparty wrote:
reminds me of how badly i always wanted a little sister. But instead im the youngest. Atleast my cousin has 2 kids of apropriate age i can be protective about. Too bad they live on the other side of sweden though :/
That makes me wonder how age and relationship play into it.
Older brothers are typically thought of as the protective ones. Or, older siblings in general would be generally thought of as being the protective ones. I've never once heard anyways say their younger brother or sister is protective of them.
I'm effectively an only child, but when I think about my cousins, for example, there's one cousin younger than me whom I'd be inclined to be protective of.
Hmm.
|
Did you just watch Blindside or something? There are times when being overprotective is good. Such as your example. If someone is highly likely to be injured or worse. Sometimes you know someone better than they know themselves. My 4 year old nephew for instance.
Always seemed to me that the types of guys who were controlling and overbearing on their GFs were the dumb ones trying to be protective but fucking it up and being way too overprotective. The problem with this is that it only pushes the girl further away and they don't even understand why she left.
|
Im not sure how to respond to a post like this. It just tells me that you are the appropriate level of protective but doesnt really give a story 
|
On February 11 2011 14:23 SpoR wrote:
Did you just watch Blindside or something? There are times when being overprotective is good. Such as your example. If someone is highly likely to be injured or worse. Sometimes you know someone better than they know themselves. My 4 year old nephew for instance.
Always seemed to me that the types of guys who were controlling and overbearing on their GFs were the dumb ones trying to be protective but fucking it up and being way too overprotective. The problem with this is that it only pushes the girl further away and they don't even understand why she left.
Nope, I've never seen that. There's just random things going on in my life that made me think of it. I just spontaneously decided to make a blog about it.
On February 11 2011 14:34 puppykiller wrote:Im not sure how to respond to a post like this. It just tells me that you are the appropriate level of protective but doesnt really give a story
Yeah, I know. Sorry. I blogged about it more because I can, no so much because I need or want advice, feedback, input, or to share a story, ^_^
|
There's a fine line between protective and possessive. Be careful where you stand on it.
edit: That being said, every girl is different. Some want total independence. Others will love having a protective guy in their life. Some even want a guy who's a little overprotective. Everyone and every relationship is different.
|
I don't think there's an exact line between being protective and overprotective, but I do think it's obvious when you're one or the other.
I think the line is where you're protecting someone for their own sake, and when you're protecting someone for your sake. If it's for their sake you're able to think what they want, and what happiness really is for them, so you know the limits to how much you should interfere (well, if you've got a brain that is). If you're protecting them for your sake, you're only thinking about their presence in your life, and thus they become dehumanized and like a possession.
I think even if someone is likely to get injured or hurt, it is overprotective to stop them if you've given your advice and they really don't care. People need to make their own mistakes, and if the thing they're doing is so obviously stupid you can't believe they're doing it, you're probably just not very compatible people and shouldn't interfere with each other too much.
I've had experiences with people who can and can't seem to look out for themselves, and I have to say I'm starting to realise the people who can't are just pure drama. It doesn't end up making me feel like a big man who's needed, it just ends up being exhausting and not worth the time.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
