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I used to be completely in love with money. Scrooge McDuck and similar characters were my absolute heroes.
I was fascinated with ancient Rome, Sparta and other totalitarian cultures and always rooted for the Empire in Star Wars and similar entities in other fiction. I wanted to be an instrumental force in a future effort to expand our countries borders through conquest by conventional warfare.
I thought aristocracy was a beautiful thing and always felt sympathy for the upper-class antagonist in Hollywood movies. Just like we made sacrifices in public benefits and health care in an initiative to put men on the moon, why shouldn't the elite be the shining example of how far Humanity has come from our uncivilized beginnings? I never found the question; "should we have a society where everyone is "ok" or were some are extremely well off and some aren't?", hard to answer. If there was no ideal to strive for, why would anyone make an effort to fight human complacency? If there was no evidence of something better to reach for - what would stop us all from living out our lives in a comfortable couch watching television?
I used to believe everyone was born with genes that determined our intellectual potential and ultimately our faith and that men and women had unequal minds due to biological differences. For long i thought beauty was all i wanted from the one i'd spend the rest of my life partnered with.
That used to be me.
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On February 12 2011 04:00 Thrill wrote:
I used to be completely in love with money. Scrooge McDuck and similar characters were my absolute heroes.
I was fascinated with ancient Rome, Sparta and other totalitarian cultures and always rooted for the Empire in Star Wars and similar entities in other fiction. I wanted to be an instrumental force in a future effort to expand our countries borders through conquest by conventional warfare.
I thought aristocracy was a beautiful thing and always felt sympathy for the upper-class antagonist in Hollywood movies. Just like we made sacrifices in public benefits and health care in an initiative to put men on the moon, why shouldn't the elite be the shining example of how far Humanity has come from our uncivilized beginnings? I never found the question; "should we have a society where everyone is "ok" or were some are extremely well off and some aren't?", hard to answer. If there was no ideal to strive for, why would anyone make an effort to fight human complacency? If there was no evidence of something better to reach for - what would stop us all from living out our lives in a comfortable couch watching television?
I used to believe everyone was born with genes that determined our intellectual potential and ultimately our faith and that men and women had unequal minds due to biological differences. For long i thought beauty was all i wanted from the one i'd spend the rest of my life partnered with.
That used to be me.
This. Just this.
Only difference is I loved the Empire in Star Wars because I grew up with the Clone Troopers.
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On February 12 2011 04:00 Thrill wrote:
"should we have a society where everyone is "ok" or were some are extremely well off and some aren't?", hard to answer. If there was no ideal to strive for, why would anyone make an effort to fight human complacency? If there was no evidence of something better to reach for - what would stop us all from living out our lives in a comfortable couch watching television?
Ultimately hard workers get richer in general and lazy people end up poorer so it works out. Aristocracy was noblemen making money because they were born with people working under them and getting taxes for nothing. Not the same thing.
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On February 11 2011 23:41 Hawk wrote:Show nested quote +On February 11 2011 11:40 tonight wrote:
I went to check my old livejournal that I used... I don't know? 5-6years ago, but then I got this:
This journal has been deleted and purged.
So, yeah. I was around 18 or so I think and I was probably just a whiny little shit. is your live journal even gayer than i'm imagining it is?? i would think so Show nested quote +On February 11 2011 10:58 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:
When your legitimate thoughts make people think you're trolling, something's gotta be changed. I don't find that to be a problem  my thoughts were just dumb on their own at times, and i posted without thinking... compared with thinking for about 2 seconds now before jamming post
It was pretty gay I'm not going to lie.
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Reading my old posts on various forums/social networks, even from around 2 years ago, I cannot believe how dumb, naive and annoying I was. Seriously, if I met my past self somehow, I'd probably punch myself in the face. There are moments when I actually get nostalgic, but I mostly dislike my past self.
Also, I'm kicking myself for not trying to play Brood War back in its prime.
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I'm a lot more confident than I was in my teenage years. Prime example would be when I was 17 I had a really hot girl I was crushing over bluntly invite me over for a "make out session followed by some hardcore sex". Being the coward virgin I was I laughed it of with a sarcastic "OK" followed by saying "that would just be weird" since she was my friends ex...biggest regret of my life lol...if only I could go back and hit that like a boss.
Other than that my personality hasn't changed much at all.
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I've never had an online blog. When I was like 10 though, someone gave me a journal notebook. One day in phys ed, there was this kid bragging about all the money that his relatives gave him or something like that. I told him off, everyone started laughing, and I walked out of the change room. I can't remember too well, but I think he ended up coming out crying but when the teacher asked him what was wrong, he never said anything. I don't think he held a grudge against me or anything, since we still talk once in a while to this day and went to school together until senior year in high school.
Looking back, I don't regret what I did. I wasn't even that harsh, I just said something to make what he said sound insignificant.
I don't think I've changed very much regarding my principles and values. Looking back at some of my past relationships in junior high, I feel that I've matured quite a bit. Some of the things I said to these girls was straight up stupid. I had little to no consideration for others emotions, and how my actions would affect others. After 9th grade, I started thinking back on some of the things I did, and realizing my mistakes.
tl;dr, If I were watching myself 6 years ago, I'd want to punch myself.
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On February 12 2011 00:06 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:Show nested quote +On February 12 2011 00:03 Haemonculus wrote:
I look back at shit I did or wrote a few years ago and think "Wow I was such a retard." Yet back then I would look back on things even a few years before that and thought the same thing.
So likely in another few years I'll look back on me today and think "wow I was dumb."
THE CYCLE CONTINUES Pretty much exactly this. I feel like my (social) growth lags behind my age by about 2 years permanently, leaving me generally socially awkward all the time. It's really frustrating. (though I think I might've finally gotten out of the cycle by becoming antisocial. one way to do it, right?) EDIT: relevant + Show Spoiler +
I kind of got this too, basically when I was 18 I could completely relate to 16 year olds, but didn't quite understand the mindset of 18 year olds. When I was 20 I finally got what it was all about, just a few years too late. Like you I got frustrated and just went for antisocial, but to be honest it only put me further behind. So please, snap out of it as fast as you can!
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On February 12 2011 04:38 Slayer91 wrote:Show nested quote +On February 12 2011 04:00 Thrill wrote:
"should we have a society where everyone is "ok" or were some are extremely well off and some aren't?", hard to answer. If there was no ideal to strive for, why would anyone make an effort to fight human complacency? If there was no evidence of something better to reach for - what would stop us all from living out our lives in a comfortable couch watching television?
Ultimately hard workers get richer in general and lazy people end up poorer so it works out. Aristocracy was noblemen making money because they were born with people working under them and getting taxes for nothing. Not the same thing.
I probably wasn't clear enough so i'll elaborate briefly on that point.
Hard work is covered by Scrooge McDuck - no one worked harder than that guy (duck?) in the Don Rosa "Buck McDuck" adaptation. My argument [was] that he would not have worked as hard as he did, had he been born "reasonably well off" in a world where everyone is "reasonably well off". He was born into a world of extreme differences - but he was born a man (duck) and he determined early on that he wouldn't bow down to any other man (duck). He recognized money made the world go around and that once he had acquired it - they, the oppressive highborn, would come crawling to him for loans to pay off their debts from squandering, gambling and whatever.
As for aristocracy as a concept - you describe it as "Aristocracy was noblemen making money because they were born with people working under them". How is that any different from the way the world works today in a society without titles? You could work your whole adult life as a brain surgeon and still end up with less than 1% of the wealth "Junior" will inherit when his or her father dies. Chances are that at the peak of your career, you'll be employed by a hospital which is run by a board that's financed by a foundation where Junior is born a majority share holder.
Now i used to think that with stars to aim for, we'd at least have a shot at reaching the moon. We need banquets and state dinners, tailored suits and eloquent discussions. We need the belief that the best humanity has to offer represents an ideal to strive for or we might as well all move to the rain forest and live off the fruit we pick and the game we hunt while enjoying sex and religion in our spare time.
Or so i thought.
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asking whether if someone has grown up is like whether if someone has reached a higher ladder league.
There are different leagues of grown-up-ness, the higher the league, the fewer members it have.
So my answer to ur question is... not sure? hard to say what league I'm in.
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Hong Kong20321 Posts
HEL LYEA jahahah i wish i listened to the advice of older people like my parents now back in the day. now im older and also know some younger kids they're probably not gonna listen to my advice either.
hm..
my writing style has become less hyper lawls.
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On February 12 2011 08:50 fabulously wrote:Show nested quote +On February 12 2011 00:06 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:On February 12 2011 00:03 Haemonculus wrote:
I look back at shit I did or wrote a few years ago and think "Wow I was such a retard." Yet back then I would look back on things even a few years before that and thought the same thing.
So likely in another few years I'll look back on me today and think "wow I was dumb."
THE CYCLE CONTINUES Pretty much exactly this. I feel like my (social) growth lags behind my age by about 2 years permanently, leaving me generally socially awkward all the time. It's really frustrating. (though I think I might've finally gotten out of the cycle by becoming antisocial. one way to do it, right?) EDIT: relevant + Show Spoiler + I kind of got this too, basically when I was 18 I could completely relate to 16 year olds, but didn't quite understand the mindset of 18 year olds. When I was 20 I finally got what it was all about, just a few years too late. Like you I got frustrated and just went for antisocial, but to be honest it only put me further behind. So please, snap out of it as fast as you can!
Nawwwwww. What's the worst that could happen? :3
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On February 12 2011 14:15 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:Show nested quote +On February 12 2011 08:50 fabulously wrote:On February 12 2011 00:06 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:On February 12 2011 00:03 Haemonculus wrote:
I look back at shit I did or wrote a few years ago and think "Wow I was such a retard." Yet back then I would look back on things even a few years before that and thought the same thing.
So likely in another few years I'll look back on me today and think "wow I was dumb."
THE CYCLE CONTINUES Pretty much exactly this. I feel like my (social) growth lags behind my age by about 2 years permanently, leaving me generally socially awkward all the time. It's really frustrating. (though I think I might've finally gotten out of the cycle by becoming antisocial. one way to do it, right?) EDIT: relevant + Show Spoiler + I kind of got this too, basically when I was 18 I could completely relate to 16 year olds, but didn't quite understand the mindset of 18 year olds. When I was 20 I finally got what it was all about, just a few years too late. Like you I got frustrated and just went for antisocial, but to be honest it only put me further behind. So please, snap out of it as fast as you can! Nawwwwww. What's the worst that could happen? :3
You wake up one day and wonder where your youth has gone At least that kind of happened to me, having avoided and dodged most social settings for years, I just simply did not relate to other people my age anymore. I felt like I still was in my late teens/early twenties when I was what most people would consider adult. My old friends were married with kids while I still had the mindset of a 18 year old, kind of! Either way, good luck, being antisocial can be an easy way out in short terms, I know, but I wouldn't recommend it in the long run
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On February 12 2011 03:11 Kakera wrote:Show nested quote +On February 12 2011 03:03 Haemonculus wrote:On February 12 2011 01:08 Chef wrote:On February 12 2011 00:03 Haemonculus wrote:
I look back at shit I did or wrote a few years ago and think "Wow I was such a retard." Yet back then I would look back on things even a few years before that and thought the same thing.
So likely in another few years I'll look back on me today and think "wow I was dumb."
THE CYCLE CONTINUES At some point your cognitive abilities will begin to decline and you'll think 'damn, I used to be able to learn new things' when trying to figure out how to operate the robomaid. You may continue to gain life experience, but you'll also forget experiences and simply become a gelatinous blob that struggles to adapt to each new challenge, whether it be remembering to flush the toilet, or taking up a hobby you thought you used to be good at. If my parents are any indication, anyway. Haha, well I already feel old in some ways, but I know what you mean. At some point it just all starts going downhill T_T Since the moment we're born we're dying. So birth... was probably that point. 
You don't reach your maximum physical or mental abilities at birth though.
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I never had a blog/livejournal or whatever, but...
I was a naive lil dipshit when I was a teenager.
Nowadays I'd say I'm still a naive lil dipshit, but I'm more conscious of my attitude.
edit:
I also remember I use to be ridiculously shy around people I didn't know... funny because I worked a customer service job, but I could never look people in the eyes and would speak really fast because I was nervous to talk to them.
Nowadays I only talk really fast when the subject is something I'm really excited/animated about and I always look people in the eyes.
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On February 12 2011 14:15 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:Show nested quote +On February 12 2011 08:50 fabulously wrote:On February 12 2011 00:06 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:On February 12 2011 00:03 Haemonculus wrote:
I look back at shit I did or wrote a few years ago and think "Wow I was such a retard." Yet back then I would look back on things even a few years before that and thought the same thing.
So likely in another few years I'll look back on me today and think "wow I was dumb."
THE CYCLE CONTINUES Pretty much exactly this. I feel like my (social) growth lags behind my age by about 2 years permanently, leaving me generally socially awkward all the time. It's really frustrating. (though I think I might've finally gotten out of the cycle by becoming antisocial. one way to do it, right?) EDIT: relevant + Show Spoiler + I kind of got this too, basically when I was 18 I could completely relate to 16 year olds, but didn't quite understand the mindset of 18 year olds. When I was 20 I finally got what it was all about, just a few years too late. Like you I got frustrated and just went for antisocial, but to be honest it only put me further behind. So please, snap out of it as fast as you can! Nawwwwww. What's the worst that could happen? :3
I get what you're saying... I wouldn't say you were antisocial though, just really really shy maybe? Think about it this way:
When we were in high school, people did a lot of stupid shit to try and impress the other sex right? If you were shy/lacked confidence you probably didn't ANY of those things, because let's face it... you were shy and lacked confidence. As you matured though you began to grow up and gain more confidence. So now the things that seemed stupid when you were 16 make more sense in your mind when you're 18. Once you get even older the things that seemed stupid when you were 18 make even more sense when you're 20. Emirite?
Pretty much you shouldn't worry too much about being 2+ years behind in "social settings" or whatever have you. I think most people are generally young and dumb until they're 30. Who knows though, I'm only 24 (in 3 days I will be lol).
Unless you're saying you consciously chose to be antisocial, I don't think you were antisocial. Rather you were asocial.
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On February 12 2011 04:00 Thrill wrote:
I used to be completely in love with money. Scrooge McDuck and similar characters were my absolute heroes.
I was fascinated with ancient Rome, Sparta and other totalitarian cultures and always rooted for the Empire in Star Wars and similar entities in other fiction. I wanted to be an instrumental force in a future effort to expand our countries borders through conquest by conventional warfare.
I thought aristocracy was a beautiful thing and always felt sympathy for the upper-class antagonist in Hollywood movies. Just like we made sacrifices in public benefits and health care in an initiative to put men on the moon, why shouldn't the elite be the shining example of how far Humanity has come from our uncivilized beginnings? I never found the question; "should we have a society where everyone is "ok" or were some are extremely well off and some aren't?", hard to answer. If there was no ideal to strive for, why would anyone make an effort to fight human complacency? If there was no evidence of something better to reach for - what would stop us all from living out our lives in a comfortable couch watching television?
I used to believe everyone was born with genes that determined our intellectual potential and ultimately our faith and that men and women had unequal minds due to biological differences. For long i thought beauty was all i wanted from the one i'd spend the rest of my life partnered with.
That used to be me.
That used to be me as well, except I always was rooting for the side of stability in any sort of movie that portrayed a struggle. I was cheering for Darth Vader and Palpatine, I was cheering for the Soviets in Red Dawn...
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Man I used to bitch quite a bit, I still do but a lot less.
I wonder if I will look back in like 5-10 years from now and see my college self and think, "Fuck I was so stupid back then" haha
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On February 13 2011 05:14 nemY wrote:Show nested quote +On February 12 2011 14:15 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:On February 12 2011 08:50 fabulously wrote:On February 12 2011 00:06 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:On February 12 2011 00:03 Haemonculus wrote:
I look back at shit I did or wrote a few years ago and think "Wow I was such a retard." Yet back then I would look back on things even a few years before that and thought the same thing.
So likely in another few years I'll look back on me today and think "wow I was dumb."
THE CYCLE CONTINUES Pretty much exactly this. I feel like my (social) growth lags behind my age by about 2 years permanently, leaving me generally socially awkward all the time. It's really frustrating. (though I think I might've finally gotten out of the cycle by becoming antisocial. one way to do it, right?) EDIT: relevant + Show Spoiler + I kind of got this too, basically when I was 18 I could completely relate to 16 year olds, but didn't quite understand the mindset of 18 year olds. When I was 20 I finally got what it was all about, just a few years too late. Like you I got frustrated and just went for antisocial, but to be honest it only put me further behind. So please, snap out of it as fast as you can! Nawwwwww. What's the worst that could happen? :3 I get what you're saying... I wouldn't say you were antisocial though, just really really shy maybe? Think about it this way: When we were in high school, people did a lot of stupid shit to try and impress the other sex right? If you were shy/lacked confidence you probably didn't ANY of those things, because let's face it... you were shy and lacked confidence. As you matured though you began to grow up and gain more confidence. So now the things that seemed stupid when you were 16 make more sense in your mind when you're 18. Once you get even older the things that seemed stupid when you were 18 make even more sense when you're 20. Emirite? Pretty much you shouldn't worry too much about being 2+ years behind in "social settings" or whatever have you. I think most people are generally young and dumb until they're 30. Who knows though, I'm only 24 (in 3 days I will be lol). Unless you're saying you consciously chose to be antisocial, I don't think you were antisocial. Rather you were asocial.
Naw you don't really know me. I spent some effort making friends / having one girlfriend in high school but most of my friends were really awkward and my girlfriend was really dumb. The friends who I don't consider really awkward in retrospect remain my friends, the rest I've drifted away from. I did plenty of stupid shit to impress the opposite sex, just awkward stupid shit instead of the right stupid shit.
And yeah I'm choosing consciously more and more to be antisocial, especially at Dartmouth which has quite a messed up social scene (though I will join more 'intellectual' campus groups in hopes of finding worthwhile people though). For more information on Dartmouth's social scene, this article's pretty good at describing the fratty environment (60% kids here are in the greek system), though I imagine Duke is worse than Dartmouth.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/01/the-hazards-of-duke/8328/
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The only thing that "changed" about me since I was 14 is that I continually lowered my expectations for intelligence of the human race in general. This also taught me not to listen to anyone's advice seriously, because chances are very high they have no fucking clue and I was right in the first place and shouldn't have wasted mine or their effort by asking for advice.
It also became easier to explain almost every problem humanity faces to this day, including wars, scarcity and corruption.
I look at my ICQ/MSN logs from 2002 and I agree with my younger self almost entirely. Oh I also learned to be more selfish and manipulative and slightly less lazy.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://nedroid.com/comics/2011-01-13-beartato-badmemories.png)
