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Have any of you ever gone back and reread your old diary or blog entries? From 3-6 years ago? What did you learn? How have you changed? How did that process make you feel?
Was reading through some of my old blog posts on Xanga (remember when that was around?). They were from my high school days; now I'm out of college. It's funny to look back and see what these intervening six years did to me, but... back then:
I used to be much more of a poet
I used to be a lot angrier at the world
I thought Jurassic Park would be better if involved a dinosaur hunting scheme with helicopters, chainguns, and RPGs
I used to be much less tolerant and forgiving towards all my friends
I used to be much less tolerant of myself
I used to be a lot more blunt.
Those are just a few cursory observations.
Has anyone here done anything similar?
 
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woops can mod delete second post pls
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So I'm not old at all (18), but I looked back at my Xanga posts in 7th grade....and I was a dick.
I think the biggest difference is that I didn't used to be afraid to say what I thought. Obviously, this had its benefits and detriments. It got me as far as being suspended from school once, but honestly I kind of miss the confident me.
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Physically? Yes.
Mentally? No.
Damn wasted my 1k post on this blog ;/
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On February 09 2011 07:20 l0st_romantic wrote:
woops can mod delete second post pls
you can just edit it 
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There's no wasting when you're making an honest post that contributes to the conversation. I couldn't tell you what my 1k post was :S
I have a very short turn around on feeling like I've "grown so much since then". Of course I'm 17, so I guess that's very normal. I look at posts from about a year ago, some from only a couple months ago, and I think "yuk, I will never make another post like that ever again, what the hell was I thinking?" I'm very self critical of old videos and pictures of myself. I lost a lot of weight since I was 15, and I think the mindset of being obese is something that I find very childish now, and I'm embarrassed that I was ever so childish so be that overweight.
I only get like 3-4 haircuts a year. So, when I have short hair, I think that flicking your head to get the hair out of your eyes looks like a stupid twitch, but a few months later when my hair gets long I think it's damn sexy. I outgrow myself very quickly, yeah. Or I'm just fickle.
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I used to be a lot more depressed about nothing.
I used to think living in Japan would be the best thing EVER.
I used to think Florida was on the West Coast.
My feelings used to get hurt a lot easier- I was a LOT more sensitive to what people said to me and how they acted to me.
I used to obsess over people who didn't like me, and would often times try to find out why or try to get them to like me.
I used to think that I was the only person in the world who was depressed and had "horrible" things happen to them.
I used to be a lot more pessimistic, and did not like the idea of random changes.
I had very little confidence and self esteem.
I was a push over.
I didn't think much of my friends.
I had the worst spelling ever.
But now..
+ Show Spoiler +I'm depressed about certain things now- It's more focused. But I know how to cheer myself up and often avoid being depressed at all.
I'm not that interested in living in Japan anymore, but I'd love to visit. I'd much prefer living in Europe.
I know now that Florida isn't on the West Coast. XD
My feelings still get hurt easily, but I take it and laugh it away now. I'm still overly sensitive though. I just don't show anyone. *_*
I don't care if people don't like me now. 83 Unless they're supposed to be my friend ; ;
I've acknowledged the things that other people are going through and continue to go through, and know that my problems aren't nearly as bad as they could be.
I'm far more optimistic about the future, and willing to go with the changes and the flow~
I have far more confidence and self esteem now. It wavers, but I still have it nonetheless.
I'm not a push over anymore. xD
I absolutely cherish and adore my friends.
I can spell!
I dislike looking through my old Xanga, LiveJournal, and Gaia journals. It's almost embarrassing that I was just a self centered human being with little thought of anyone else.
But at the same time, it's nice to see that I've grown into someone who doesn't fret about who doesn't like her, even if I have the tendency to be more abrasive and rude now. But, change will come with time ~ ^_^
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I used to be very insecure and worry often about what people thought of me.
I used to wait on girls hand and foot so they'd like me more (it didn't work that way)
I used to spout off about things I only knew a few talking points about and use a lot of bluster to pass myself off as knowledgeable.
I used to be afraid to ladder on iccup because I might lose a lot and get made fun of for sucking (which only made me suck more)
I used to drink to escape from anything emotionally challenging.
I used to hate just about everybody.
I still hate just about everybody (except a few close friends get passes now) but I've dealt with the rest!
Now if only I could deal with my browsing-the-web-instead-of-being-productive problem...
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I have changed and grown more to be what society expects of me.
I now think in longer time periods. When I previously thought a week ahead and that was enough, I now sometimes find myself trying to plan out my life.
I also have things that have changed for the worse. Such as not caring as much, both on a personal and a global level. Previously I would spend a lot of time helping people out on forums, linking them to guides and so on. Now I just sigh and move on or try to teach them how to solve it themselves with a short answer.
I am not sure I am happier with who I am and the other changes that has come with time. But change is inevitable and there is always an out if I want to give up.
Oh and I don't blog or write a diary. If I can't recall it then I can relive it or it wasn't as important as it seemed at the time. I don't take any pictures either. I suspect this is something that might change in the next 10 years as I move on, but how can I know?
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I used to think my opinions could somehow change the world, making me kind of outspoken and edgy. I also was certain there were a way to make everyone happy or at least content with a situation, which made me try to be on friendly terms with everyone, taking both sides in every conflict. During time I have kind of given up on trying so hard. Accepting that in most cases it is impossible to please everyone. My opinions are still mine, but I no longer try to convince everyone else I am right
Reading some of my old posts and messagelogs makes me wanna go back in time and slap myself in the face. So I guess I have kind of grown up, but I still feel pretty immature in many many ways. Most ways, actually.
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3-5 years ago...
- I was a socialist.
- I always wanted to fit in, thought rap and emo rock were cool.
- I was pretty cocky.
- When I liked someone and they didn't like me back, I tried to change it.
- I used to think the Honors classes were tough shit and more or less the intelligence level of the average Asian stereotype.
- I tried to emulate my funny friends to be funny.
- I was pretty gullible.
- My feelings were hurt when people made fun of me.
- Optimist
Now...
+ Show Spoiler +- On the political spectrum I'd say I'm just shy of being an anchor for Fox News.
- Only one in my grade who listens to power metal, and one of ~15 who listen to trance..
- My humility is directly proportional to how old the recipient is.
- If I like somebody and they don't return the favor, fuck it, I'll search for someone else.
- I know the Honors classes are just for putting the dumbasses separate from me.
- I'm the troll of my grade.
- I'm open-minded but paranoid.
- My feelings can't be hurt anymore. I ran a donation project where the more people made fun of me on Ventrilo, the more I donated to the homeless shelter.
- Realist
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Not at all, other than doing my share in the society and for the family, I pretty much like/do the same things I did when I was 18, even playing starcraft and that was 12 years ago... Of course the mental aspect change with time and in that aspect I guess 12 years are enough time for anyone to grow up, but the music, the games, the films genre, everything related to having fun keeps being equally enjoyable.
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I always had some kind of "vague" plan where I should set some mental state to a certain state at a certain age, so far I've hit most of them spot on.
Growing up definitely, I learned how to handle time, stress, and work a lot better, especially last semester where each day is an overwhelming tide.
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I was an annoying asian kid on tl who spammed emoticons like ^^ and +_+.
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Looking back on my old forum posts, when I was 11 or 12 I was a dick...but I didn't realize it 
I like to think that I've fixed some of those issues.
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I got a lot more shallow and became much happier.
huh.
Well, that probably isn't objectively true, I just became less solipsistic so I feel more shallow lol.
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Crap lol, that's almost like looking at two different people
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On February 09 2011 11:25 l0st_romantic wrote:Crap lol, that's almost like looking at two different people
Any topic by redneck_mike sounds like a really persistent troll, but the sad thing was that was all legit. Like, that's how I played StarCraft and thought it worked.
Kinda like a little kid trying to run the world.
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I set fire to all my journals I had written when I was like eighteen, but I found a journal I must have missed from when I was eight.
I wrote Garfield fanfiction.
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I have a livejournal that will turn 7 at the end of the month. I started it Junior year of high school and now I'm a first year grad student after taking 5 years to graduate undergrad.
Two things happen when I read old entries (mostly from high school, I have probably posted once every two months on average since 2005): I go "ha! that's pretty funny, good memories" and "holy shit I was a freakin IDIOT!".
It's also fun to show people the idiot posts and see some reactions...
I think I'll go on a nostalgia binge for a few minutes. Thanks for the reminder!
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Reading my old myspace, I was way too arrogant about my intelligence
From memory, I was an asshole until about 7th grade
By reading my diaries that I've been keeping for like 7 years now, I can't really tell that I've changed that much which is rather surprising. By this I mean that were I, in my current capacity, placed in a situation in the past, I'm not sure if I would have reacted too differently.
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I was an annoying little asshole. The kind of kid that I would look at now and say "holy shit if my kid ever turned out like that I would have to put them down". There's generic "I-was-such-an-idiot-lol" kind of stuff, but there's also a lot of genuinely terrible trends I see in older posts/blogs/etc. that I still find in myself whenever I get too arrogant or defensive about something I'm emotionally attached to. So I guess in a way I haven't really grown up, just learned to suppress the douchebag inside a little bit better (or maybe that is what growing up is, ha).
I think one of the main things is that I always expected to know more things about the world by now.
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I think the difference between me then and now is that I was a lot more confident then. Now, I'm not so sure that I am right, that the world is right, or if I really do have an impact on the world. Paradoxically, I am more confident in my ability to improve my own life. The net effect is a certain sense of apathy.
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On February 10 2011 05:28 l0st_romantic wrote:
I think the difference between me then and now is that I was a lot more confident then. Now, I'm not so sure that I am right, that the world is right, or if I really do have an impact on the world. Paradoxically, I am more confident in my ability to improve my own life. The net effect is a certain sense of apathy.
This actually kind of sums up my differences as well. Could easily have been my own words, if I had managed to put my thoughts properly into words
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All youth knows is love and hate... love and hate ...
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looking at some of my posts i made at 18-19 on this site, i can say that if i had access to a time machine id probably do like that coke zero commercial and just tackle myself away from the computer quite frequently
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On February 11 2011 04:12 Hawk wrote:
looking at some of my posts i made at 18-19 on this site, i can say that if i had access to a time machine id probably do like that coke zero commercial and just tackle myself away from the computer quite frequently
Agreed, I'd hop right into that time machine too. When your legitimate thoughts make people think you're trolling, something's gotta be changed.
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I was more of an idiot than I am now. I'm very conscious of the fact that I have a history of stupidity which anyone can access if they want to, which is why anonymity is very important to me. There are so many applications I would love to use TL for that I won't because it just isn't worth it to have so much dirt on my real name.
The internet was a place of learning that I managed to build semi-well known personalities on a variety of websites. It feels like such a shame that I've spent so much time on it and yet it is completely unusable. If someone asks me what I've been doing the last decade, I can't really answer because most of the stuff I did was done by an internet personality. That makes me look rather empty and unlived. Sometimes it is funny when people think I'm smart, because they've never seen all the mistakes I made to get this way.
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i used to be very very very naive
i used to think that if you constantly thought of something, it would eventually come true ...
i used to think that putting my finger into the electricity sockets would transform me into a super saiyan ...
i used to think that my parents would never find out about me browsing porn, but one day my dad was like "lol son there's a thing called Temporary Files" ...
yes i've grown up
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I went to check my old livejournal that I used... I don't know? 5-6years ago, but then I got this:
This journal has been deleted and purged.
So, yeah. I was around 18 or so I think and I was probably just a whiny little shit.
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I'm less naive and know a lot more general knowledge since I was in my tweens, but personality wise, nothing major has change at all, and I doubt my love for gaming will ever go away.
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On February 11 2011 11:40 tonight wrote:
I went to check my old livejournal that I used... I don't know? 5-6years ago, but then I got this:
This journal has been deleted and purged.
So, yeah. I was around 18 or so I think and I was probably just a whiny little shit.
is your live journal even gayer than i'm imagining it is?? i would think so
On February 11 2011 10:58 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:
When your legitimate thoughts make people think you're trolling, something's gotta be changed.
I don't find that to be a problem
my thoughts were just dumb on their own at times, and i posted without thinking... compared with thinking for about 2 seconds now before jamming post
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I look back at shit I did or wrote a few years ago and think "Wow I was such a retard." Yet back then I would look back on things even a few years before that and thought the same thing.
So likely in another few years I'll look back on me today and think "wow I was dumb."
THE CYCLE CONTINUES
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On February 12 2011 00:03 Haemonculus wrote:
I look back at shit I did or wrote a few years ago and think "Wow I was such a retard." Yet back then I would look back on things even a few years before that and thought the same thing.
So likely in another few years I'll look back on me today and think "wow I was dumb."
THE CYCLE CONTINUES
Pretty much exactly this. I feel like my (social) growth lags behind my age by about 2 years permanently, leaving me generally socially awkward all the time. It's really frustrating. (though I think I might've finally gotten out of the cycle by becoming antisocial. one way to do it, right?)
EDIT: relevant
+ Show Spoiler +
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On February 09 2011 07:19 l0st_romantic wrote:
I thought Jurassic Park would be better if involved a dinosaur hunting scheme with helicopters, chainguns, and RPGs
I guess I'm less mature than you because I think that sounds awesome
I know when I was 16 I thought I was the shit. I still think I'm the shit, but I no longer think my 16-year-old self is the shit.
edit: I know the cycle isn't going to stop. The best proof I have that time travel isn't possible is that my future self still hasn't kicked my ass for screwing up his life
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On February 12 2011 00:03 Haemonculus wrote:
I look back at shit I did or wrote a few years ago and think "Wow I was such a retard." Yet back then I would look back on things even a few years before that and thought the same thing.
So likely in another few years I'll look back on me today and think "wow I was dumb."
THE CYCLE CONTINUES
At some point your cognitive abilities will begin to decline and you'll think 'damn, I used to be able to learn new things' when trying to figure out how to operate the robomaid. You may continue to gain life experience, but you'll also forget experiences and simply become a gelatinous blob that struggles to adapt to each new challenge, whether it be remembering to flush the toilet, or taking up a hobby you thought you used to be good at.
If my parents are any indication, anyway.
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On February 12 2011 01:08 Chef wrote:Show nested quote +On February 12 2011 00:03 Haemonculus wrote:
I look back at shit I did or wrote a few years ago and think "Wow I was such a retard." Yet back then I would look back on things even a few years before that and thought the same thing.
So likely in another few years I'll look back on me today and think "wow I was dumb."
THE CYCLE CONTINUES At some point your cognitive abilities will begin to decline and you'll think 'damn, I used to be able to learn new things' when trying to figure out how to operate the robomaid. You may continue to gain life experience, but you'll also forget experiences and simply become a gelatinous blob that struggles to adapt to each new challenge, whether it be remembering to flush the toilet, or taking up a hobby you thought you used to be good at. If my parents are any indication, anyway.
Haha, well I already feel old in some ways, but I know what you mean.
At some point it just all starts going downhill T_T
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On February 12 2011 03:03 Haemonculus wrote:Show nested quote +On February 12 2011 01:08 Chef wrote:On February 12 2011 00:03 Haemonculus wrote:
I look back at shit I did or wrote a few years ago and think "Wow I was such a retard." Yet back then I would look back on things even a few years before that and thought the same thing.
So likely in another few years I'll look back on me today and think "wow I was dumb."
THE CYCLE CONTINUES At some point your cognitive abilities will begin to decline and you'll think 'damn, I used to be able to learn new things' when trying to figure out how to operate the robomaid. You may continue to gain life experience, but you'll also forget experiences and simply become a gelatinous blob that struggles to adapt to each new challenge, whether it be remembering to flush the toilet, or taking up a hobby you thought you used to be good at. If my parents are any indication, anyway. Haha, well I already feel old in some ways, but I know what you mean. At some point it just all starts going downhill T_T
Since the moment we're born we're dying. So birth... was probably that point.
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I've suddenly gotten a lot wittier.
That, or else I suddenly started to think my posts and humour in general (in that IRL thing) have gotten a lot wittier..
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I used to be completely in love with money. Scrooge McDuck and similar characters were my absolute heroes.
I was fascinated with ancient Rome, Sparta and other totalitarian cultures and always rooted for the Empire in Star Wars and similar entities in other fiction. I wanted to be an instrumental force in a future effort to expand our countries borders through conquest by conventional warfare.
I thought aristocracy was a beautiful thing and always felt sympathy for the upper-class antagonist in Hollywood movies. Just like we made sacrifices in public benefits and health care in an initiative to put men on the moon, why shouldn't the elite be the shining example of how far Humanity has come from our uncivilized beginnings? I never found the question; "should we have a society where everyone is "ok" or were some are extremely well off and some aren't?", hard to answer. If there was no ideal to strive for, why would anyone make an effort to fight human complacency? If there was no evidence of something better to reach for - what would stop us all from living out our lives in a comfortable couch watching television?
I used to believe everyone was born with genes that determined our intellectual potential and ultimately our faith and that men and women had unequal minds due to biological differences. For long i thought beauty was all i wanted from the one i'd spend the rest of my life partnered with.
That used to be me.
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On February 12 2011 04:00 Thrill wrote:
I used to be completely in love with money. Scrooge McDuck and similar characters were my absolute heroes.
I was fascinated with ancient Rome, Sparta and other totalitarian cultures and always rooted for the Empire in Star Wars and similar entities in other fiction. I wanted to be an instrumental force in a future effort to expand our countries borders through conquest by conventional warfare.
I thought aristocracy was a beautiful thing and always felt sympathy for the upper-class antagonist in Hollywood movies. Just like we made sacrifices in public benefits and health care in an initiative to put men on the moon, why shouldn't the elite be the shining example of how far Humanity has come from our uncivilized beginnings? I never found the question; "should we have a society where everyone is "ok" or were some are extremely well off and some aren't?", hard to answer. If there was no ideal to strive for, why would anyone make an effort to fight human complacency? If there was no evidence of something better to reach for - what would stop us all from living out our lives in a comfortable couch watching television?
I used to believe everyone was born with genes that determined our intellectual potential and ultimately our faith and that men and women had unequal minds due to biological differences. For long i thought beauty was all i wanted from the one i'd spend the rest of my life partnered with.
That used to be me.
This. Just this.
Only difference is I loved the Empire in Star Wars because I grew up with the Clone Troopers.
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On February 12 2011 04:00 Thrill wrote:
"should we have a society where everyone is "ok" or were some are extremely well off and some aren't?", hard to answer. If there was no ideal to strive for, why would anyone make an effort to fight human complacency? If there was no evidence of something better to reach for - what would stop us all from living out our lives in a comfortable couch watching television?
Ultimately hard workers get richer in general and lazy people end up poorer so it works out. Aristocracy was noblemen making money because they were born with people working under them and getting taxes for nothing. Not the same thing.
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On February 11 2011 23:41 Hawk wrote:Show nested quote +On February 11 2011 11:40 tonight wrote:
I went to check my old livejournal that I used... I don't know? 5-6years ago, but then I got this:
This journal has been deleted and purged.
So, yeah. I was around 18 or so I think and I was probably just a whiny little shit. is your live journal even gayer than i'm imagining it is?? i would think so Show nested quote +On February 11 2011 10:58 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:
When your legitimate thoughts make people think you're trolling, something's gotta be changed. I don't find that to be a problem my thoughts were just dumb on their own at times, and i posted without thinking... compared with thinking for about 2 seconds now before jamming post
It was pretty gay I'm not going to lie.
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Reading my old posts on various forums/social networks, even from around 2 years ago, I cannot believe how dumb, naive and annoying I was. Seriously, if I met my past self somehow, I'd probably punch myself in the face. There are moments when I actually get nostalgic, but I mostly dislike my past self.
Also, I'm kicking myself for not trying to play Brood War back in its prime.
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I'm a lot more confident than I was in my teenage years. Prime example would be when I was 17 I had a really hot girl I was crushing over bluntly invite me over for a "make out session followed by some hardcore sex". Being the coward virgin I was I laughed it of with a sarcastic "OK" followed by saying "that would just be weird" since she was my friends ex...biggest regret of my life lol...if only I could go back and hit that like a boss.
Other than that my personality hasn't changed much at all.
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I've never had an online blog. When I was like 10 though, someone gave me a journal notebook. One day in phys ed, there was this kid bragging about all the money that his relatives gave him or something like that. I told him off, everyone started laughing, and I walked out of the change room. I can't remember too well, but I think he ended up coming out crying but when the teacher asked him what was wrong, he never said anything. I don't think he held a grudge against me or anything, since we still talk once in a while to this day and went to school together until senior year in high school.
Looking back, I don't regret what I did. I wasn't even that harsh, I just said something to make what he said sound insignificant.
I don't think I've changed very much regarding my principles and values. Looking back at some of my past relationships in junior high, I feel that I've matured quite a bit. Some of the things I said to these girls was straight up stupid. I had little to no consideration for others emotions, and how my actions would affect others. After 9th grade, I started thinking back on some of the things I did, and realizing my mistakes.
tl;dr, If I were watching myself 6 years ago, I'd want to punch myself.
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On February 12 2011 00:06 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:Show nested quote +On February 12 2011 00:03 Haemonculus wrote:
I look back at shit I did or wrote a few years ago and think "Wow I was such a retard." Yet back then I would look back on things even a few years before that and thought the same thing.
So likely in another few years I'll look back on me today and think "wow I was dumb."
THE CYCLE CONTINUES Pretty much exactly this. I feel like my (social) growth lags behind my age by about 2 years permanently, leaving me generally socially awkward all the time. It's really frustrating. (though I think I might've finally gotten out of the cycle by becoming antisocial. one way to do it, right?) EDIT: relevant + Show Spoiler +
I kind of got this too, basically when I was 18 I could completely relate to 16 year olds, but didn't quite understand the mindset of 18 year olds. When I was 20 I finally got what it was all about, just a few years too late. Like you I got frustrated and just went for antisocial, but to be honest it only put me further behind. So please, snap out of it as fast as you can!
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On February 12 2011 04:38 Slayer91 wrote:Show nested quote +On February 12 2011 04:00 Thrill wrote:
"should we have a society where everyone is "ok" or were some are extremely well off and some aren't?", hard to answer. If there was no ideal to strive for, why would anyone make an effort to fight human complacency? If there was no evidence of something better to reach for - what would stop us all from living out our lives in a comfortable couch watching television?
Ultimately hard workers get richer in general and lazy people end up poorer so it works out. Aristocracy was noblemen making money because they were born with people working under them and getting taxes for nothing. Not the same thing.
I probably wasn't clear enough so i'll elaborate briefly on that point.
Hard work is covered by Scrooge McDuck - no one worked harder than that guy (duck?) in the Don Rosa "Buck McDuck" adaptation. My argument [was] that he would not have worked as hard as he did, had he been born "reasonably well off" in a world where everyone is "reasonably well off". He was born into a world of extreme differences - but he was born a man (duck) and he determined early on that he wouldn't bow down to any other man (duck). He recognized money made the world go around and that once he had acquired it - they, the oppressive highborn, would come crawling to him for loans to pay off their debts from squandering, gambling and whatever.
As for aristocracy as a concept - you describe it as "Aristocracy was noblemen making money because they were born with people working under them". How is that any different from the way the world works today in a society without titles? You could work your whole adult life as a brain surgeon and still end up with less than 1% of the wealth "Junior" will inherit when his or her father dies. Chances are that at the peak of your career, you'll be employed by a hospital which is run by a board that's financed by a foundation where Junior is born a majority share holder.
Now i used to think that with stars to aim for, we'd at least have a shot at reaching the moon. We need banquets and state dinners, tailored suits and eloquent discussions. We need the belief that the best humanity has to offer represents an ideal to strive for or we might as well all move to the rain forest and live off the fruit we pick and the game we hunt while enjoying sex and religion in our spare time.
Or so i thought.
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asking whether if someone has grown up is like whether if someone has reached a higher ladder league.
There are different leagues of grown-up-ness, the higher the league, the fewer members it have.
So my answer to ur question is... not sure? hard to say what league I'm in.
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Hong Kong20321 Posts
HEL LYEA jahahah i wish i listened to the advice of older people like my parents now back in the day. now im older and also know some younger kids they're probably not gonna listen to my advice either.
hm..
my writing style has become less hyper lawls.
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On February 12 2011 08:50 fabulously wrote:Show nested quote +On February 12 2011 00:06 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:On February 12 2011 00:03 Haemonculus wrote:
I look back at shit I did or wrote a few years ago and think "Wow I was such a retard." Yet back then I would look back on things even a few years before that and thought the same thing.
So likely in another few years I'll look back on me today and think "wow I was dumb."
THE CYCLE CONTINUES Pretty much exactly this. I feel like my (social) growth lags behind my age by about 2 years permanently, leaving me generally socially awkward all the time. It's really frustrating. (though I think I might've finally gotten out of the cycle by becoming antisocial. one way to do it, right?) EDIT: relevant + Show Spoiler + I kind of got this too, basically when I was 18 I could completely relate to 16 year olds, but didn't quite understand the mindset of 18 year olds. When I was 20 I finally got what it was all about, just a few years too late. Like you I got frustrated and just went for antisocial, but to be honest it only put me further behind. So please, snap out of it as fast as you can!
Nawwwwww. What's the worst that could happen? :3
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On February 12 2011 14:15 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:Show nested quote +On February 12 2011 08:50 fabulously wrote:On February 12 2011 00:06 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:On February 12 2011 00:03 Haemonculus wrote:
I look back at shit I did or wrote a few years ago and think "Wow I was such a retard." Yet back then I would look back on things even a few years before that and thought the same thing.
So likely in another few years I'll look back on me today and think "wow I was dumb."
THE CYCLE CONTINUES Pretty much exactly this. I feel like my (social) growth lags behind my age by about 2 years permanently, leaving me generally socially awkward all the time. It's really frustrating. (though I think I might've finally gotten out of the cycle by becoming antisocial. one way to do it, right?) EDIT: relevant + Show Spoiler + I kind of got this too, basically when I was 18 I could completely relate to 16 year olds, but didn't quite understand the mindset of 18 year olds. When I was 20 I finally got what it was all about, just a few years too late. Like you I got frustrated and just went for antisocial, but to be honest it only put me further behind. So please, snap out of it as fast as you can! Nawwwwww. What's the worst that could happen? :3
You wake up one day and wonder where your youth has gone At least that kind of happened to me, having avoided and dodged most social settings for years, I just simply did not relate to other people my age anymore. I felt like I still was in my late teens/early twenties when I was what most people would consider adult. My old friends were married with kids while I still had the mindset of a 18 year old, kind of! Either way, good luck, being antisocial can be an easy way out in short terms, I know, but I wouldn't recommend it in the long run
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On February 12 2011 03:11 Kakera wrote:Show nested quote +On February 12 2011 03:03 Haemonculus wrote:On February 12 2011 01:08 Chef wrote:On February 12 2011 00:03 Haemonculus wrote:
I look back at shit I did or wrote a few years ago and think "Wow I was such a retard." Yet back then I would look back on things even a few years before that and thought the same thing.
So likely in another few years I'll look back on me today and think "wow I was dumb."
THE CYCLE CONTINUES At some point your cognitive abilities will begin to decline and you'll think 'damn, I used to be able to learn new things' when trying to figure out how to operate the robomaid. You may continue to gain life experience, but you'll also forget experiences and simply become a gelatinous blob that struggles to adapt to each new challenge, whether it be remembering to flush the toilet, or taking up a hobby you thought you used to be good at. If my parents are any indication, anyway. Haha, well I already feel old in some ways, but I know what you mean. At some point it just all starts going downhill T_T Since the moment we're born we're dying. So birth... was probably that point.
You don't reach your maximum physical or mental abilities at birth though.
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I never had a blog/livejournal or whatever, but...
I was a naive lil dipshit when I was a teenager.
Nowadays I'd say I'm still a naive lil dipshit, but I'm more conscious of my attitude.
edit:
I also remember I use to be ridiculously shy around people I didn't know... funny because I worked a customer service job, but I could never look people in the eyes and would speak really fast because I was nervous to talk to them.
Nowadays I only talk really fast when the subject is something I'm really excited/animated about and I always look people in the eyes.
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On February 12 2011 14:15 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:Show nested quote +On February 12 2011 08:50 fabulously wrote:On February 12 2011 00:06 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:On February 12 2011 00:03 Haemonculus wrote:
I look back at shit I did or wrote a few years ago and think "Wow I was such a retard." Yet back then I would look back on things even a few years before that and thought the same thing.
So likely in another few years I'll look back on me today and think "wow I was dumb."
THE CYCLE CONTINUES Pretty much exactly this. I feel like my (social) growth lags behind my age by about 2 years permanently, leaving me generally socially awkward all the time. It's really frustrating. (though I think I might've finally gotten out of the cycle by becoming antisocial. one way to do it, right?) EDIT: relevant + Show Spoiler + I kind of got this too, basically when I was 18 I could completely relate to 16 year olds, but didn't quite understand the mindset of 18 year olds. When I was 20 I finally got what it was all about, just a few years too late. Like you I got frustrated and just went for antisocial, but to be honest it only put me further behind. So please, snap out of it as fast as you can! Nawwwwww. What's the worst that could happen? :3
I get what you're saying... I wouldn't say you were antisocial though, just really really shy maybe? Think about it this way:
When we were in high school, people did a lot of stupid shit to try and impress the other sex right? If you were shy/lacked confidence you probably didn't ANY of those things, because let's face it... you were shy and lacked confidence. As you matured though you began to grow up and gain more confidence. So now the things that seemed stupid when you were 16 make more sense in your mind when you're 18. Once you get even older the things that seemed stupid when you were 18 make even more sense when you're 20. Emirite?
Pretty much you shouldn't worry too much about being 2+ years behind in "social settings" or whatever have you. I think most people are generally young and dumb until they're 30. Who knows though, I'm only 24 (in 3 days I will be lol).
Unless you're saying you consciously chose to be antisocial, I don't think you were antisocial. Rather you were asocial.
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On February 12 2011 04:00 Thrill wrote:
I used to be completely in love with money. Scrooge McDuck and similar characters were my absolute heroes.
I was fascinated with ancient Rome, Sparta and other totalitarian cultures and always rooted for the Empire in Star Wars and similar entities in other fiction. I wanted to be an instrumental force in a future effort to expand our countries borders through conquest by conventional warfare.
I thought aristocracy was a beautiful thing and always felt sympathy for the upper-class antagonist in Hollywood movies. Just like we made sacrifices in public benefits and health care in an initiative to put men on the moon, why shouldn't the elite be the shining example of how far Humanity has come from our uncivilized beginnings? I never found the question; "should we have a society where everyone is "ok" or were some are extremely well off and some aren't?", hard to answer. If there was no ideal to strive for, why would anyone make an effort to fight human complacency? If there was no evidence of something better to reach for - what would stop us all from living out our lives in a comfortable couch watching television?
I used to believe everyone was born with genes that determined our intellectual potential and ultimately our faith and that men and women had unequal minds due to biological differences. For long i thought beauty was all i wanted from the one i'd spend the rest of my life partnered with.
That used to be me.
That used to be me as well, except I always was rooting for the side of stability in any sort of movie that portrayed a struggle. I was cheering for Darth Vader and Palpatine, I was cheering for the Soviets in Red Dawn...
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Man I used to bitch quite a bit, I still do but a lot less.
I wonder if I will look back in like 5-10 years from now and see my college self and think, "Fuck I was so stupid back then" haha
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On February 13 2011 05:14 nemY wrote:Show nested quote +On February 12 2011 14:15 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:On February 12 2011 08:50 fabulously wrote:On February 12 2011 00:06 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:On February 12 2011 00:03 Haemonculus wrote:
I look back at shit I did or wrote a few years ago and think "Wow I was such a retard." Yet back then I would look back on things even a few years before that and thought the same thing.
So likely in another few years I'll look back on me today and think "wow I was dumb."
THE CYCLE CONTINUES Pretty much exactly this. I feel like my (social) growth lags behind my age by about 2 years permanently, leaving me generally socially awkward all the time. It's really frustrating. (though I think I might've finally gotten out of the cycle by becoming antisocial. one way to do it, right?) EDIT: relevant + Show Spoiler + I kind of got this too, basically when I was 18 I could completely relate to 16 year olds, but didn't quite understand the mindset of 18 year olds. When I was 20 I finally got what it was all about, just a few years too late. Like you I got frustrated and just went for antisocial, but to be honest it only put me further behind. So please, snap out of it as fast as you can! Nawwwwww. What's the worst that could happen? :3 I get what you're saying... I wouldn't say you were antisocial though, just really really shy maybe? Think about it this way: When we were in high school, people did a lot of stupid shit to try and impress the other sex right? If you were shy/lacked confidence you probably didn't ANY of those things, because let's face it... you were shy and lacked confidence. As you matured though you began to grow up and gain more confidence. So now the things that seemed stupid when you were 16 make more sense in your mind when you're 18. Once you get even older the things that seemed stupid when you were 18 make even more sense when you're 20. Emirite? Pretty much you shouldn't worry too much about being 2+ years behind in "social settings" or whatever have you. I think most people are generally young and dumb until they're 30. Who knows though, I'm only 24 (in 3 days I will be lol). Unless you're saying you consciously chose to be antisocial, I don't think you were antisocial. Rather you were asocial.
Naw you don't really know me. I spent some effort making friends / having one girlfriend in high school but most of my friends were really awkward and my girlfriend was really dumb. The friends who I don't consider really awkward in retrospect remain my friends, the rest I've drifted away from. I did plenty of stupid shit to impress the opposite sex, just awkward stupid shit instead of the right stupid shit.
And yeah I'm choosing consciously more and more to be antisocial, especially at Dartmouth which has quite a messed up social scene (though I will join more 'intellectual' campus groups in hopes of finding worthwhile people though). For more information on Dartmouth's social scene, this article's pretty good at describing the fratty environment (60% kids here are in the greek system), though I imagine Duke is worse than Dartmouth.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/01/the-hazards-of-duke/8328/
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The only thing that "changed" about me since I was 14 is that I continually lowered my expectations for intelligence of the human race in general. This also taught me not to listen to anyone's advice seriously, because chances are very high they have no fucking clue and I was right in the first place and shouldn't have wasted mine or their effort by asking for advice.
It also became easier to explain almost every problem humanity faces to this day, including wars, scarcity and corruption.
I look at my ICQ/MSN logs from 2002 and I agree with my younger self almost entirely. Oh I also learned to be more selfish and manipulative and slightly less lazy.
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I used to be a cocky, immature freshman who would get into arguments a lot. Then I was a mildly-depressed, un-confident, insecure sophomore/junior, now I'm somewhat of a mature and confident senior.
Hrm...now that I think about it, if I go back to my middle school years, it was almost the same pattern. o_O except condensed into 3 grades.
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I used to be a competitive fuck. I still am a competitive fuck. I blame myself for failure a lot more though.
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On February 13 2011 23:59 blahman3344 wrote:
I used to be a cocky, immature freshman who would get into arguments a lot. Then I was a mildly-depressed, un-confident, insecure sophomore/junior, now I'm somewhat of a mature and confident senior.
Hrm...now that I think about it, if I go back to my middle school years, it was almost the same pattern. o_O except condensed into 3 grades.
This... I'm still on sophomore though.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://nedroid.com/comics/2011-01-13-beartato-badmemories.png)
