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Have any of you ever gone back and reread your old diary or blog entries? From 3-6 years ago? What did you learn? How have you changed? How did that process make you feel?
Was reading through some of my old blog posts on Xanga (remember when that was around?). They were from my high school days; now I'm out of college. It's funny to look back and see what these intervening six years did to me, but... back then:
I used to be much more of a poet
I used to be a lot angrier at the world
I thought Jurassic Park would be better if involved a dinosaur hunting scheme with helicopters, chainguns, and RPGs
I used to be much less tolerant and forgiving towards all my friends
I used to be much less tolerant of myself
I used to be a lot more blunt.
Those are just a few cursory observations.
Has anyone here done anything similar?
 
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woops can mod delete second post pls
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So I'm not old at all (18), but I looked back at my Xanga posts in 7th grade....and I was a dick.
I think the biggest difference is that I didn't used to be afraid to say what I thought. Obviously, this had its benefits and detriments. It got me as far as being suspended from school once, but honestly I kind of miss the confident me.
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Physically? Yes.
Mentally? No.
Damn wasted my 1k post on this blog ;/
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On February 09 2011 07:20 l0st_romantic wrote:
woops can mod delete second post pls
you can just edit it 
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There's no wasting when you're making an honest post that contributes to the conversation. I couldn't tell you what my 1k post was :S
I have a very short turn around on feeling like I've "grown so much since then". Of course I'm 17, so I guess that's very normal. I look at posts from about a year ago, some from only a couple months ago, and I think "yuk, I will never make another post like that ever again, what the hell was I thinking?" I'm very self critical of old videos and pictures of myself. I lost a lot of weight since I was 15, and I think the mindset of being obese is something that I find very childish now, and I'm embarrassed that I was ever so childish so be that overweight.
I only get like 3-4 haircuts a year. So, when I have short hair, I think that flicking your head to get the hair out of your eyes looks like a stupid twitch, but a few months later when my hair gets long I think it's damn sexy. I outgrow myself very quickly, yeah. Or I'm just fickle.
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I used to be a lot more depressed about nothing.
I used to think living in Japan would be the best thing EVER.
I used to think Florida was on the West Coast.
My feelings used to get hurt a lot easier- I was a LOT more sensitive to what people said to me and how they acted to me.
I used to obsess over people who didn't like me, and would often times try to find out why or try to get them to like me.
I used to think that I was the only person in the world who was depressed and had "horrible" things happen to them.
I used to be a lot more pessimistic, and did not like the idea of random changes.
I had very little confidence and self esteem.
I was a push over.
I didn't think much of my friends.
I had the worst spelling ever.
But now..
+ Show Spoiler +I'm depressed about certain things now- It's more focused. But I know how to cheer myself up and often avoid being depressed at all.
I'm not that interested in living in Japan anymore, but I'd love to visit. I'd much prefer living in Europe.
I know now that Florida isn't on the West Coast. XD
My feelings still get hurt easily, but I take it and laugh it away now. I'm still overly sensitive though. I just don't show anyone. *_*
I don't care if people don't like me now. 83 Unless they're supposed to be my friend ; ;
I've acknowledged the things that other people are going through and continue to go through, and know that my problems aren't nearly as bad as they could be.
I'm far more optimistic about the future, and willing to go with the changes and the flow~
I have far more confidence and self esteem now. It wavers, but I still have it nonetheless.
I'm not a push over anymore. xD
I absolutely cherish and adore my friends.
I can spell!
I dislike looking through my old Xanga, LiveJournal, and Gaia journals. It's almost embarrassing that I was just a self centered human being with little thought of anyone else.
But at the same time, it's nice to see that I've grown into someone who doesn't fret about who doesn't like her, even if I have the tendency to be more abrasive and rude now. But, change will come with time ~ ^_^
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I used to be very insecure and worry often about what people thought of me.
I used to wait on girls hand and foot so they'd like me more (it didn't work that way)
I used to spout off about things I only knew a few talking points about and use a lot of bluster to pass myself off as knowledgeable.
I used to be afraid to ladder on iccup because I might lose a lot and get made fun of for sucking (which only made me suck more)
I used to drink to escape from anything emotionally challenging.
I used to hate just about everybody.
I still hate just about everybody (except a few close friends get passes now) but I've dealt with the rest!
Now if only I could deal with my browsing-the-web-instead-of-being-productive problem...
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I have changed and grown more to be what society expects of me.
I now think in longer time periods. When I previously thought a week ahead and that was enough, I now sometimes find myself trying to plan out my life.
I also have things that have changed for the worse. Such as not caring as much, both on a personal and a global level. Previously I would spend a lot of time helping people out on forums, linking them to guides and so on. Now I just sigh and move on or try to teach them how to solve it themselves with a short answer.
I am not sure I am happier with who I am and the other changes that has come with time. But change is inevitable and there is always an out if I want to give up.
Oh and I don't blog or write a diary. If I can't recall it then I can relive it or it wasn't as important as it seemed at the time. I don't take any pictures either. I suspect this is something that might change in the next 10 years as I move on, but how can I know?
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I used to think my opinions could somehow change the world, making me kind of outspoken and edgy. I also was certain there were a way to make everyone happy or at least content with a situation, which made me try to be on friendly terms with everyone, taking both sides in every conflict. During time I have kind of given up on trying so hard. Accepting that in most cases it is impossible to please everyone. My opinions are still mine, but I no longer try to convince everyone else I am right
Reading some of my old posts and messagelogs makes me wanna go back in time and slap myself in the face. So I guess I have kind of grown up, but I still feel pretty immature in many many ways. Most ways, actually.
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3-5 years ago...
- I was a socialist.
- I always wanted to fit in, thought rap and emo rock were cool.
- I was pretty cocky.
- When I liked someone and they didn't like me back, I tried to change it.
- I used to think the Honors classes were tough shit and more or less the intelligence level of the average Asian stereotype.
- I tried to emulate my funny friends to be funny.
- I was pretty gullible.
- My feelings were hurt when people made fun of me.
- Optimist
Now...
+ Show Spoiler +- On the political spectrum I'd say I'm just shy of being an anchor for Fox News.
- Only one in my grade who listens to power metal, and one of ~15 who listen to trance..
- My humility is directly proportional to how old the recipient is.
- If I like somebody and they don't return the favor, fuck it, I'll search for someone else.
- I know the Honors classes are just for putting the dumbasses separate from me.
- I'm the troll of my grade.
- I'm open-minded but paranoid.
- My feelings can't be hurt anymore. I ran a donation project where the more people made fun of me on Ventrilo, the more I donated to the homeless shelter.
- Realist
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Not at all, other than doing my share in the society and for the family, I pretty much like/do the same things I did when I was 18, even playing starcraft and that was 12 years ago... Of course the mental aspect change with time and in that aspect I guess 12 years are enough time for anyone to grow up, but the music, the games, the films genre, everything related to having fun keeps being equally enjoyable.
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I always had some kind of "vague" plan where I should set some mental state to a certain state at a certain age, so far I've hit most of them spot on.
Growing up definitely, I learned how to handle time, stress, and work a lot better, especially last semester where each day is an overwhelming tide.
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I was an annoying asian kid on tl who spammed emoticons like ^^ and +_+.
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Looking back on my old forum posts, when I was 11 or 12 I was a dick...but I didn't realize it 
I like to think that I've fixed some of those issues.
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I got a lot more shallow and became much happier.
huh.
Well, that probably isn't objectively true, I just became less solipsistic so I feel more shallow lol.
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Crap lol, that's almost like looking at two different people
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On February 09 2011 11:25 l0st_romantic wrote:Crap lol, that's almost like looking at two different people
Any topic by redneck_mike sounds like a really persistent troll, but the sad thing was that was all legit. Like, that's how I played StarCraft and thought it worked.
Kinda like a little kid trying to run the world.
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I set fire to all my journals I had written when I was like eighteen, but I found a journal I must have missed from when I was eight.
I wrote Garfield fanfiction.
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EPT
