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I have a livejournal that will turn 7 at the end of the month. I started it Junior year of high school and now I'm a first year grad student after taking 5 years to graduate undergrad.
Two things happen when I read old entries (mostly from high school, I have probably posted once every two months on average since 2005): I go "ha! that's pretty funny, good memories" and "holy shit I was a freakin IDIOT!".
It's also fun to show people the idiot posts and see some reactions...
I think I'll go on a nostalgia binge for a few minutes. Thanks for the reminder!
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Reading my old myspace, I was way too arrogant about my intelligence From memory, I was an asshole until about 7th grade By reading my diaries that I've been keeping for like 7 years now, I can't really tell that I've changed that much which is rather surprising. By this I mean that were I, in my current capacity, placed in a situation in the past, I'm not sure if I would have reacted too differently.
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I was an annoying little asshole. The kind of kid that I would look at now and say "holy shit if my kid ever turned out like that I would have to put them down". There's generic "I-was-such-an-idiot-lol" kind of stuff, but there's also a lot of genuinely terrible trends I see in older posts/blogs/etc. that I still find in myself whenever I get too arrogant or defensive about something I'm emotionally attached to. So I guess in a way I haven't really grown up, just learned to suppress the douchebag inside a little bit better (or maybe that is what growing up is, ha).
I think one of the main things is that I always expected to know more things about the world by now.
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I think the difference between me then and now is that I was a lot more confident then. Now, I'm not so sure that I am right, that the world is right, or if I really do have an impact on the world. Paradoxically, I am more confident in my ability to improve my own life. The net effect is a certain sense of apathy.
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On February 10 2011 05:28 l0st_romantic wrote: I think the difference between me then and now is that I was a lot more confident then. Now, I'm not so sure that I am right, that the world is right, or if I really do have an impact on the world. Paradoxically, I am more confident in my ability to improve my own life. The net effect is a certain sense of apathy.
This actually kind of sums up my differences as well. Could easily have been my own words, if I had managed to put my thoughts properly into words
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All youth knows is love and hate... love and hate ...
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looking at some of my posts i made at 18-19 on this site, i can say that if i had access to a time machine id probably do like that coke zero commercial and just tackle myself away from the computer quite frequently
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On February 11 2011 04:12 Hawk wrote: looking at some of my posts i made at 18-19 on this site, i can say that if i had access to a time machine id probably do like that coke zero commercial and just tackle myself away from the computer quite frequently
Agreed, I'd hop right into that time machine too. When your legitimate thoughts make people think you're trolling, something's gotta be changed.
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I was more of an idiot than I am now. I'm very conscious of the fact that I have a history of stupidity which anyone can access if they want to, which is why anonymity is very important to me. There are so many applications I would love to use TL for that I won't because it just isn't worth it to have so much dirt on my real name.
The internet was a place of learning that I managed to build semi-well known personalities on a variety of websites. It feels like such a shame that I've spent so much time on it and yet it is completely unusable. If someone asks me what I've been doing the last decade, I can't really answer because most of the stuff I did was done by an internet personality. That makes me look rather empty and unlived. Sometimes it is funny when people think I'm smart, because they've never seen all the mistakes I made to get this way.
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i used to be very very very naive
i used to think that if you constantly thought of something, it would eventually come true ...
i used to think that putting my finger into the electricity sockets would transform me into a super saiyan ...
i used to think that my parents would never find out about me browsing porn, but one day my dad was like "lol son there's a thing called Temporary Files" ...
yes i've grown up
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I went to check my old livejournal that I used... I don't know? 5-6years ago, but then I got this: This journal has been deleted and purged.
So, yeah. I was around 18 or so I think and I was probably just a whiny little shit.
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I'm less naive and know a lot more general knowledge since I was in my tweens, but personality wise, nothing major has change at all, and I doubt my love for gaming will ever go away.
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On February 11 2011 11:40 tonight wrote: I went to check my old livejournal that I used... I don't know? 5-6years ago, but then I got this: This journal has been deleted and purged.
So, yeah. I was around 18 or so I think and I was probably just a whiny little shit.
is your live journal even gayer than i'm imagining it is?? i would think so
On February 11 2011 10:58 [UoN]Sentinel wrote: When your legitimate thoughts make people think you're trolling, something's gotta be changed. I don't find that to be a problem
my thoughts were just dumb on their own at times, and i posted without thinking... compared with thinking for about 2 seconds now before jamming post
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I look back at shit I did or wrote a few years ago and think "Wow I was such a retard." Yet back then I would look back on things even a few years before that and thought the same thing.
So likely in another few years I'll look back on me today and think "wow I was dumb."
THE CYCLE CONTINUES
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On February 12 2011 00:03 Haemonculus wrote: I look back at shit I did or wrote a few years ago and think "Wow I was such a retard." Yet back then I would look back on things even a few years before that and thought the same thing.
So likely in another few years I'll look back on me today and think "wow I was dumb."
THE CYCLE CONTINUES Pretty much exactly this. I feel like my (social) growth lags behind my age by about 2 years permanently, leaving me generally socially awkward all the time. It's really frustrating. (though I think I might've finally gotten out of the cycle by becoming antisocial. one way to do it, right?)
EDIT: relevant + Show Spoiler +
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On February 09 2011 07:19 l0st_romantic wrote: I thought Jurassic Park would be better if involved a dinosaur hunting scheme with helicopters, chainguns, and RPGs
I guess I'm less mature than you because I think that sounds awesome
I know when I was 16 I thought I was the shit. I still think I'm the shit, but I no longer think my 16-year-old self is the shit.
edit: I know the cycle isn't going to stop. The best proof I have that time travel isn't possible is that my future self still hasn't kicked my ass for screwing up his life
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On February 12 2011 00:03 Haemonculus wrote: I look back at shit I did or wrote a few years ago and think "Wow I was such a retard." Yet back then I would look back on things even a few years before that and thought the same thing.
So likely in another few years I'll look back on me today and think "wow I was dumb."
THE CYCLE CONTINUES At some point your cognitive abilities will begin to decline and you'll think 'damn, I used to be able to learn new things' when trying to figure out how to operate the robomaid. You may continue to gain life experience, but you'll also forget experiences and simply become a gelatinous blob that struggles to adapt to each new challenge, whether it be remembering to flush the toilet, or taking up a hobby you thought you used to be good at.
If my parents are any indication, anyway.
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On February 12 2011 01:08 Chef wrote:Show nested quote +On February 12 2011 00:03 Haemonculus wrote: I look back at shit I did or wrote a few years ago and think "Wow I was such a retard." Yet back then I would look back on things even a few years before that and thought the same thing.
So likely in another few years I'll look back on me today and think "wow I was dumb."
THE CYCLE CONTINUES At some point your cognitive abilities will begin to decline and you'll think 'damn, I used to be able to learn new things' when trying to figure out how to operate the robomaid. You may continue to gain life experience, but you'll also forget experiences and simply become a gelatinous blob that struggles to adapt to each new challenge, whether it be remembering to flush the toilet, or taking up a hobby you thought you used to be good at. If my parents are any indication, anyway. Haha, well I already feel old in some ways, but I know what you mean.
At some point it just all starts going downhill T_T
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On February 12 2011 03:03 Haemonculus wrote:Show nested quote +On February 12 2011 01:08 Chef wrote:On February 12 2011 00:03 Haemonculus wrote: I look back at shit I did or wrote a few years ago and think "Wow I was such a retard." Yet back then I would look back on things even a few years before that and thought the same thing.
So likely in another few years I'll look back on me today and think "wow I was dumb."
THE CYCLE CONTINUES At some point your cognitive abilities will begin to decline and you'll think 'damn, I used to be able to learn new things' when trying to figure out how to operate the robomaid. You may continue to gain life experience, but you'll also forget experiences and simply become a gelatinous blob that struggles to adapt to each new challenge, whether it be remembering to flush the toilet, or taking up a hobby you thought you used to be good at. If my parents are any indication, anyway. Haha, well I already feel old in some ways, but I know what you mean. At some point it just all starts going downhill T_T Since the moment we're born we're dying. So birth... was probably that point.
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I've suddenly gotten a lot wittier.
That, or else I suddenly started to think my posts and humour in general (in that IRL thing) have gotten a lot wittier..
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