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Yeah, everything Quint said at the top of the page 2 is spot-on. I don't have much to add.
You have crap friends who seem to be using you for your mathematical prowess. If you're being treated badly then call them out on it! Either they can accept that you're right and they're excluding you from a lot of activities (in turn making you feel bad), or they can get pissed (their lack of admitting fault showing immaturity). The only way I would personally feel comfortable seeing these people again is a shift in their actions. Either way, if I were you I'd be looking for some new friends.
Before (or while) this happens, you need to do as Quint says and improve your self image. You already selflessly help people in school and have no problems admitting to being a nice guy. Start with that 
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"We humans have that subtle ability to sense and react to the aura someone gives out. If you act with no confidence and hate yourself, then most likely people will treat you like shit. "
this is so true. depression is a constant reaffirming cycle. you feel like shit -> people treat you like shit -> you feel even worse. its disgusting and really shows you what the people around you are truely like. fucking animals. (especially females, who react very strongly with their animal/instinctive emotions and value their emotions very greatly; men can be more rational, empathetic and sympathetic, tho they can also be bullies.)
idk how to deal with it myself, other than give a big FUCK YOU to life, stop trusting everyone, and start just focusing on myself and learning a skill that i believe in and that will make me happy (like learning a language)
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Well I wouldn't say to stop trusting people and not care what others think and not have friends. It is a necessity to have those "instincts." Humans thrive off of socializing. We need to be social. Hell our species was able to survive the world and time because of us sticking together. By learning to stick with our species we evolved and survived. Prairie dogs are another example of the pros in being social and having a society.
We are most happy when we have someone we know to trust and love. That is our nature. And so it is in most animal. I am a firm believer in this. Sure you can accomplish all this great things not having to worry about your social life...but is it worth it? What is the point in having all this money and accomplishments...when you have no one to share with you when you go home...
That right there is the one question everyone asks. That is the one aspect in my life I am missing and sad and afraid...
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actually if people are making you feel shitty when you're depressed or anxious, id say thats a perfect reason not to trust them with your emotional wellbeing and to stop being friends with them.
there are enough nice people out there (somewhere) that you can safely say FUCK OFF YOU TWAT every time you realise that whoever you're hanging out with isnt good for you
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On January 31 2011 11:07 luckyseven wrote:
actually if people are making you feel shitty when you're depressed or anxious, id say thats a perfect reason not to trust them with your emotional wellbeing and to stop being friends with them.
there are enough nice people out there (somewhere) that you can safely say FUCK OFF YOU TWAT every time you realise that whoever you're hanging out with isnt good for you
well in that case that works.
seriously OP just call em out like you did to that girl you mentioned. Be like "uhh wtf I thought we were all gonna go see that movie together..."
If the signal is so strong and you can see it...just ditch them...no one deserves to be treated like shit. You can replace them. Obviously they don't care about you but need you for your math skills.
Btw you are not an actual "nice" guy if you want something in return. A true nice guy does tasks DESPITE knowing that he may never receive something back from that party...like me. It is in our gene to help people. Sure I could just start acting like an asshole and have complete disregard for others...but its easier said than done. If you are a true nice guy and you try to be an "asshole," you are going to realize how you won't be able to keep the act up...its a curse...but a blessing depending on how you are willing to "bend" your perception. It sucks....I know.
But I would rather be that small light in the dark room to help someone see and be extinguished by death's finger then let the darkness overwhelm it.
A great quote: "No one wants to be a nice guy. But everyone needs the nice guy."
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i think some people are so obsessed and anxious about how other people feel, and how they make other people feel, that they totally lose touch with how they themselves feel, and hence lose all sense of self-respect and personal values and etc
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i mean something so fucking basic as realising when you're hungry and saying out loud "im hungry lets go to a restuarant" . you suppress even such basic feelings because you attribute zero value to yourself. women are fucking great at "listening" to their feelings/bodies, but "nice guy" men fucking need to learn it from scratch
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On January 31 2011 11:35 luckyseven wrote:
i think some people are so obsessed and anxious about how other people feel, and how they make other people feel, that they totally lose touch with how they themselves feel, and hence lose all sense of self-respect and personal values and etc
I am somewhat guilty in that.
Any compliment I receive or any "accomplishment" that affected others positively I will cling on that and milk the value out of it.
Obviously I am not obsessed or that sad to make it unhealthy to stalk people...but I do wish I didn't care as much you know.
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To the op, honestly it just sounds like you're being too passive. If you float something like "hey wanna see this movie" and everyone says "sure eventually" then that's a maybe. It's not "we'll call you tomorrow at 8 to come with us". You can't expect people to take an interest in you out of nowhere, they have no incentive to add you to their group. You have to make it happen. Instead of changing your facebook status, you should be making wall posts (or better, talking or calling) instead. Otherwise you'll be randomguy001 that they'll forget about a few days down the road when they do see the movie.
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I haven't read every reply here, but from my own experience i can say:
1. Ignore everyone, stop caring about their opinion. You are who you are, you don't need them.
2. Don't help them for a while when they need help, just say "Sorry, i'm busy" or similar.
3. You are better than they are. You sound like a selfless, helpful, nice guy... there is one in a million who is like you... they aren't. They are selfish and they don't care about anyone (most people don't).
4. Live your life, do what you want to do. Sooner or later you will meet people that are like you and you won't be invisible to them - the SC playing girl of your dreams might be just around the corner.
5. Most people who think they are stupid aren't. You are maybe no genius, but i bet you are more intelligent than most people around you... though there is always someone who is just better in everything he does.
In short: Be who you are and do what you want, then everything will be fine.
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Go to an Asian country where foreigners are idolized!! Become auto-AWESOME!
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One way of dealing with your problem is to work on becoming the best/great at something. Could be something related to your field at college, could be something outside of it (business, games, art).
Such things take a few years, but at the end of it, through that process, you will have gained self confidence and a stronger understanding of who you are. Then you will realize the problem isn't about being invisible, it's about finding people that jive with who you are.
But you are no one until you make who you are.
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EPT
