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*RESOLVED* This is basically how the situation played out, feel free to read the OP below the spoiler if your interested. + Show Spoiler +Eh alright so Thanks for all the support and words of wisdom Thaiska especially, just because anybody with just 2 posts who still breaks it down like that is pretty baller. Anyhow incase any of you are wondering let me explained what happened in the days following my OP.
Basically I was still waffling around with what I was going to do in class and we had a group project. I was grouped up with these 3 other girls who I did not know really well, but never the less I hit it off pretty good with them. It has been a while just having a good time, even in school with girls I didn't even know kinda made me realize how much easier it is when I am with somebody I dont have any history with. Im not exactly the shy type with girls, so feeling excited about the girl in the op just piqued my attention a bit but realistically I dont think she is my type even if things worked out with us.
Any how since then Ive been chatting and flirting with one of the girls I was grouped up with and we get along pretty well so it all has worked out pretty well.
Not that anything you guys say will actually influence my decision, I'm just a little curious as to what your take is on this situation.
Basically after crushing on this girl for a year I asked her out (I basically get super nervous and tense and had like a meltdown while I asked her but kept a baller face which im guessing she saw through but didn't seem to mind.)I see this girl in class everyday but and normally strike up conversation with her pretty easy, but what do you know its completely awkward now. Anyways as the date comes closer she tells me in a text that she cant go anymore (she said she had to babysit for her aunt). At this point we stopped talking completely.
So that was about two years ago, things between me and her are pretty much back to where they were before except there is a little tension i guess?
Anyhow for some reason I kinda just want to see how things would work out between us. She is cute in a classic sort of way, dosnt dress slutty but still seems attractive to me. There a few other girls who are interested in me and they are decently good looking(not a brag blog I swear) girls but I know where relationships with those kind of girls end up, and I gusse the whole reason I still have a thing for the girl i'm crushing on is because she seems different than anyone else to me.
Anyways the only drawback I have is we are in 3 classes together and if things dont work out im not looking forward to the same awkward glances and ignoring each other for the rest of the year.
idk what im going to do yet and dont really have anyone else to talk this shit over with because none of my friends have ever pursued a girl so TL, let me hear what you have to say.
   
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Are you in highschool? It's pretty easy to avoid a girl in a huge lecture hall if you're in a University. It's your call since you know how the situation would make you feel best.
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On January 26 2011 12:14 Zidane wrote: Are you in highschool? It's pretty easy to avoid a girl in a huge lecture hall if you're in a University. It's your call since you know how the situation would make you feel best.
I am a senior right now at highschool, which is kinda why im also considering it because in my head worst case scenario i only see her another 4 months and thats it but still...
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Better to have tried and failed then not and spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been
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do itttt or else you'll have a lifetime of regret
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On January 26 2011 12:14 tube wrote: do it DO IT. It's not over until you quit lol
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people are takin shots at 5/10 riskin their whole bankroll yea go for it
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On January 26 2011 12:19 MOARpylons wrote: Better to have tried and failed then not and spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been
^^ that + its already awkward, if your gonna have a shitty relationship now, why the hell not take it to the next level!
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the end of high school is one of the best times to do things you might regret 'cause you aren't seeing those people again lol
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Not really.. you still can see them... jsut tkaes MUCH more effort to plan a reunion, which some people just doesn't bother with. Quake48 just DO IT, gotta get used to biting the bullet once in a while.
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I agree with all of the people above. If you miss your chance now, you'll never get another.
Just do it, and even if it does turn out to be awkward, you won't be seeing her ever again (in all likelihood); you also will be able to rest, knowing that you already gave it your best shot.
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DOOOOO EEEET!!!!
To quoth the Chronicles of Narnia:
"Make your choice, adventurous Stranger; Strike the bell and bide the danger, Or wonder, till it drives you mad, What would have followed if you had."
Your words at the beginning suggest you're going to do it anyway. Good luck!
GET TO DA CHOPPA NAOW!!!
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Do it. You've only got a few months left, you don't want to agonize over could-have-beens. If it doesn't work out don't sweat it. You'll be out of school soon enough so either way you won't see this girl much longer.
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Dude just do it. I know you're young and 4months seems like forever but trust me worst case scenario you just don't talk to each other anymore for only 4 months. (though I don't see why you can't still be friendly with each other even if she turns you down)
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She's the one you're interested in. Don't miss this opportunity because of what happened two years ago. The only bad thing I can see is that if she was really interested in you, she would have found a way to avoid the babysitting stuff, or she would at least have suggested to postpone it to the next week or something. But maybe she really had to do babysitting for her aunt and you were too frustrated/emo/shy/pick-what-fits-best to ask to postpone it. The fact is, even two years later you're still hesitating.
good luck, and don't be afraid ! girls don't bite ! (at least most of them)
When I read the poll I thought about Starsky (gif inside) + Show Spoiler +
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LOL
dude asks a girl out
she says she's busy and can't go
they stop talking for a long time
HOLD ON A SECOND
what the fuck?? Something here is wrong. oh and you hang out with people who have never pursued a girl?
A) you dont give a fuck and you're a badass bro slammin nattys and only taking what comes your way
B) You have no self esteem and overthink everything which is ruining your success with the ladies
Im guessing its B.
solution: Buy some sick rings, nice shoes and a new attitude. Gain some confidence and stop thinking about everything and just ask her out. IF she says no then I was right. If she says yes which there is chance (although we dont know what you look like so...) then take her mini golfing and to a restaurant.
If you are in highschool do ice skating or bowling and a restaurant.
There is no awkward silence/tension unless you create it. When a girl is over a guy she just doesn't give a fuck. If she is over you and you feel awkward then you havent let it go.
idk man idk but if a girl EVER saw someone post a girl help thread online they would instantly be turned off.
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go for it, what do u have to lose really?
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Since you sound rather awkward around girls, I would say go for it. It'll be a good learning experience for you.
Don't expect her to actually accept, though. If she had been interested in you back then, she would have: a) rescheduled. b) turned down her aunt because she was going on a freakin' date.
Either that, or she's pretty awkward herself. In which case...gogo awkward couple? I guess? If she turns you down, try going out with one of those other girls, even if you know that the relationships won't work out. You're in high school, you most likely won't find your life-mate right away anyways.
If I misjudged you or you take offense to anything I said, I apologize. Just trying to be helpful.
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You should ask her again but don't make it seem so eager or formal like "I'm asking you out on a date".
Just say that you are doing something , going to grab coffee, having a drink, going to a party, whatever, and wondered if she'll like to come along.
In your mind, don't make it such a big deal either. Try to imagine that she's already accepted.
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Canada13386 Posts
reconnecting with an old friend of the opposite sex with whom you have/had a crush on and where the feeling was at least on some level mutual it can have good results :D (I'm going on almost 4 years with my GF with a similar situation happened to me and her - definitely gonna get married at some point)
So I say worth a try and I've seen this kind of thing work for others too so give it a chance :D
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On January 26 2011 12:21 HaruHaru wrote: do itttt or else you'll have a lifetime of regret Lifetime is a little melodramatic. You'll forget her your first two months of uni.
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Heh well thanks for the input so far guys, and just to clarify this was the first girl i had ever asked out to anything, and this happened early sophmore year, so If I seemed awquward that would be why. I by no means am up to my ears in pussy but I certainly have had my share of girls although none of them lasted for more than several months at a time. Anyhow most of you figured that out so thanks and keep it comin, kinda interesting to read you take.
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DO IT. let us know how it goes.
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haha ok well when i end up making a move I will let you guys know how it went
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obviously. Stop being a wuss and take all the advice given here with a grain of salt and apply yourself. If it doesn't work out, no sweat. And if she gives you an awkward look or whatever just act like you don't even know her and she'll feel awkward alone.
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Be a man. Do the right thing.
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On January 26 2011 12:29 Chimpalimp wrote:Show nested quote +On January 26 2011 12:19 MOARpylons wrote: Better to have tried and failed then not and spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been ^^ that + its already awkward, if your gonna have a shitty relationship now, why the hell not take it to the next level!
That's always been my motto. I'd rather look and feel like a jack ass (and have :D) for a week or so instead of for the rest of my life.
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I've tried the "don't do it" option with a girl I'd liked since middle school. I regret it very much now that I'll probably never see her again aside from some high school reunions since I'm in college now. Do it. Carpe diem.
+ Show Spoiler +Wow I feel pompous for using a Latin phrase or whatever language that is, not my intention, but really, do it.
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Kind of sad she don't dress slutty . But do it. If she says no, throw paper airplanes at her all day long.
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Awwww it's so cute how he thinks this girl is different!
Yes sir, enjoy your blissful youth while you can!
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Do you want to grow to be an old man, waiting to die alone?
You must engage her in lively discourse, using the full abilities of your charm and wit. Show her you are an interesting and motivated individual. Confidence must emanate from your every pore. Make no mistake of plainly asking her to "go out", but instead be cool, collected, and invite her to some sort of semi-social locale (see suggestions above, i.e. ice skating, mini-golf) where bodily contact may inevitably ensue should she show true interest - of which of course I am certain will occur. Godspeed.
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heh, it sounds from the situation that she didn't know how to say "no" without hurting your feelings, so she said yes to the date and then figured out a way out of it. the fact that she didn't follow up and that things get awkward points to the high likelihood that she's not interested in you (and probably interested in someone else). so on that basis I voted don't go for it.
buuut since you're in high school, it's always good to have experience in figuring these things out and getting rejected, as long as it doesn't scar you =P
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Zurich15317 Posts
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Do it, you only live once. It's better to look back and regret something you did instead of something you didn't do.
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It's easier said than done, but just go for it. In a year you'll regret not doing it. Trust me.
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here's my analysis:
if u do it, u'll probably regret it
if you don't do it, you'll still probably regret it
therefore you're screwed no matter what you do.
therefore do it anyways.
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United States7488 Posts
I'd say go out with one of the other girls for a bit first (the prettiest one). Then after that go back to the one your asking about.
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On January 27 2011 06:55 Kalingingsong wrote: here's my analysis:
if u do it, u'll probably regret it
if you don't do it, you'll still probably regret it
therefore you're screwed no matter what you do.
therefore do it anyways.
THIS perfectly sums up where I am at hah, but things actualy went pretty well today and I'm thinkin about making the move tomorow so wish me luck hah.
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Don't go all in 
Start flirting a bit innocently at first to check if there is some chemistry going on or if you can get some going. (comment on her looks/clothes etc.) If you step it up slowly, the date thing should come naturally. It will also pique her interest into you, since she isn't sure were to place you anymore. (you could be just friendly and nice, but is that everything..?)
If you treat it as just fun and not too serious, it can also help avoid awkwardness if you get shut down later since you seem worried about that.
Going from friend zone straight into a date is usually a bad idea unless she is desperate, so I would avoid that.
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Hang out, watch a movie, do friend things. Only get her drunk, make the movie somewhat romantic and shallow. If you end up sleeping with her, mission accomplished. If you don't, it wouldn't have happened and the date would be trash.
If you want to do the dating thing, do it with someone else.
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hahahahaha absolutely 0 chance man sorry
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Hey so from a girls perspective...
You cant really change much about the way you look, or your personality/ sense of humor - that can always make it a no=go with any girl.
FIRST: be prepared she might no like you for things you cant change about yourself. There is no way around that - and insisting after you got a cleat "NO" just makes you seem repulsive (this is how all humans act, no?)
SECOND: Grow some balls. Any girl I know likes a guy to have balls and make moves. If you do and she regects you, at least have the balls to get over it and move on - instead of dwelling on it, and acting pathetic around her.
Ask her to do something that's not a date but leaves the option for some form of intimacy open: Like a party or concert where if she likes you you guys could dance together. DONT make a big deal of asking. Just ask straight up without any weird strategy or over thinking - we can see through your schemes to ask us out when youre scared - its not as attractive as a guy that just acts confident. If you think you cant do it with a confident face (specially if she regects you), then ask in a msg and keep it really simple.
Dont forget to act instantly OVER IT but COMPLETELY friendly if she regects you. The best is if you defuse the situation with humour.
HERE IS THE MAGIC FORMULA:
Think of how you treat a guy friend. Subtract the innapropriate BRO behaviour and dirty jokes and stuff like that... THATS how you should treat a girl unless youre sure she likes you.
Im pretty attractive (troll me if you dont believe - dont care) and ive regected guys only to give them a chance later because they were so cool about being regected and staying my friend.
OMG DONT EVER ACTED SCARED OF A GIRL. WE USE THE KNOWLEGE OF YOU LIKING US TO RAPE YOU OF YOUR DIGNITY
Maybe that didnt help at all but whatever I was bored.
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Ask her out, even if she denies you it doesn't mean that you have to stop talking to her = )
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On January 31 2011 07:25 Thaiska wrote: OMG DONT EVER ACTED SCARED OF A GIRL. WE USE THE KNOWLEGE OF YOU LIKING US TO RAPE YOU OF YOUR DIGNITY This here is so true and they do it well- but that is not the point.
I voted "do it" before even reading the OP- meaning, what have you got to lose. Like an earlier post said- regret if you do and regret if you don't- screw it and go for it.
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so what happened in the end?
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On January 31 2011 07:25 Thaiska wrote: Hey so from a girls perspective...
You cant really change much about the way you look, or your personality/ sense of humor - that can always make it a no=go with any girl.
FIRST: be prepared she might no like you for things you cant change about yourself. There is no way around that - and insisting after you got a cleat "NO" just makes you seem repulsive (this is how all humans act, no?)
SECOND: Grow some balls. Any girl I know likes a guy to have balls and make moves. If you do and she regects you, at least have the balls to get over it and move on - instead of dwelling on it, and acting pathetic around her.
Ask her to do something that's not a date but leaves the option for some form of intimacy open: Like a party or concert where if she likes you you guys could dance together. DONT make a big deal of asking. Just ask straight up without any weird strategy or over thinking - we can see through your schemes to ask us out when youre scared - its not as attractive as a guy that just acts confident. If you think you cant do it with a confident face (specially if she regects you), then ask in a msg and keep it really simple.
Dont forget to act instantly OVER IT but COMPLETELY friendly if she regects you. The best is if you defuse the situation with humour.
A few weeks ago a female poster wrote an epic thread detailing how one should act around women, build a relationship, and ask them out. I'm bumping this for the sole reason that this little half page of advice kicked the crap out of the epic thread! Way to keep it simple 
On January 31 2011 08:48 Kalingingsong wrote: so what happened in the end?
I'm going to guess that he's too busy wooing her on their date to respond...
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"OMG DONT EVER ACT SCARED OF A GIRL. WE USE THE KNOWLEGE OF YOU LIKING US TO RAPE YOU OF YOUR DIGNITY"
love it
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Rape you of your dignity? Hahahahaha. Use the shit out of you, maybe, but at least leave you with the semblance of dignity.
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honestly idk what advice i can give anymore other than the following:
dont fucking BOTHER asking anyone out unless they are drooling over you. if they arent then work on improving yourself until they are. you want the girl to come to you, rather than the other way round. stop WASTING your life HOPING and DREAMING that you have what it takes, you will never get what you want, never improve yourself, that way.
also its BULLSHIT that you cant change every little thing about yourself. people dont do it because its FUCKING DIFFICULT and takes years of dedication. but it can be done, though you only have this one lifetime to do it in.
in your situation i would try to spend more time with the girl in a completely casual manner. treat every time you're together as a learning experience, and try to study the way you behave and what she likes and dislikes about the way you behave. obviously you have some great qualities already if you can get some hot girls, but this girl is different and special. she isnt attracted to you right now so if you want any chance in making her attracted then you have to study what she likes and gradually learn to incorporate those things into yourself. DO NOT BOTHER ASKING HER OUT coz she will say no, and even if she says yes hesitantly then you will probably be a shitty boyfriend to her because you havent yet figured out what really makes her tick.
only problem is you have 4 months then you'll never see her again right :D just dont rush anything, 4 months is like 12 weeks, give it another 6 weeks of hanging out and trying to push her attraction buttons and get HER to come to you rather than running after her like a chode hoping, hoping! she suddenly starts to fancy you (when does this ever happen)
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To be honest, I was basically in the exact same situation (2 years, good friends before etc.) when I was in my last year of high school.
Did not regret it, kinda glad I didn't do it.
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Eh alright so Thanks for all the support and words of wisdom Thaiska especially, just because anybody with just 2 posts who still breaks it down like that is pretty baller. Anyhow incase any of you are wondering let me explained what happened in the days following my OP.
Basically I was still waffling around with what I was going to do in class and we had a group project. I was grouped up with these 3 other girls who I did not know really well, but never the less I hit it off pretty good with them. It has been a while just having a good time, even in school with girls I didn't even know kinda made me realize how much easier it is when I am with somebody I dont have any history with. Im not exactly the shy type with girls, so feeling excited about the girl in the op just piqued my attention a bit but realistically I dont think she is my type even if things worked out with us.
Any how since then Ive been chatting and flirting with one of the girls I was grouped up with and we get along pretty well so it all has worked out pretty well.
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On February 01 2011 14:03 Quake48 wrote: Eh alright so Thanks for all the support and words of wisdom Thaiska especially, just because anybody with just 2 posts who still breaks it down like that is pretty baller. Anyhow incase any of you are wondering let me explained what happened in the days following my OP.
Basically I was still waffling around with what I was going to do in class and we had a group project. I was grouped up with these 3 other girls who I did not know really well, but never the less I hit it off pretty good with them. It has been a while just having a good time, even in school with girls I didn't even know kinda made me realize how much easier it is when I am with somebody I dont have any history with. Im not exactly the shy type with girls, so feeling excited about the girl in the op just piqued my attention a bit but realistically I dont think she is my type even if things worked out with us.
Any how since then Ive been chatting and flirting with one of the girls I was grouped up with and we get along pretty well so it all has worked out pretty well.
I have never seen a resolution like this to a girl blog.
Baller.
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yea honestly the ending to this was pretty anti-climatic which i'm actually pretty happy about. If anything of interest happens with this girl and me ill be sure to keep you updated, but for now imma slow it down and just chill
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On January 31 2011 07:25 Thaiska wrote: Hey so from a girls perspective...
You cant really change much about the way you look, or your personality/ sense of humor - that can always make it a no=go with any girl.
FIRST: be prepared she might no like you for things you cant change about yourself. There is no way around that - and insisting after you got a cleat "NO" just makes you seem repulsive (this is how all humans act, no?)
SECOND: Grow some balls. Any girl I know likes a guy to have balls and make moves. If you do and she regects you, at least have the balls to get over it and move on - instead of dwelling on it, and acting pathetic around her.
Ask her to do something that's not a date but leaves the option for some form of intimacy open: Like a party or concert where if she likes you you guys could dance together. DONT make a big deal of asking. Just ask straight up without any weird strategy or over thinking - we can see through your schemes to ask us out when youre scared - its not as attractive as a guy that just acts confident. If you think you cant do it with a confident face (specially if she regects you), then ask in a msg and keep it really simple.
Dont forget to act instantly OVER IT but COMPLETELY friendly if she regects you. The best is if you defuse the situation with humour.
HERE IS THE MAGIC FORMULA:
Think of how you treat a guy friend. Subtract the innapropriate BRO behaviour and dirty jokes and stuff like that... THATS how you should treat a girl unless youre sure she likes you.
Im pretty attractive (troll me if you dont believe - dont care) and ive regected guys only to give them a chance later because they were so cool about being regected and staying my friend.
OMG DONT EVER ACTED SCARED OF A GIRL. WE USE THE KNOWLEGE OF YOU LIKING US TO RAPE YOU OF YOUR DIGNITY
Maybe that didnt help at all but whatever I was bored.
True.
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On February 01 2011 14:03 Quake48 wrote: Eh alright so Thanks for all the support and words of wisdom Thaiska especially, just because anybody with just 2 posts who still breaks it down like that is pretty baller. Anyhow incase any of you are wondering let me explained what happened in the days following my OP.
Basically I was still waffling around with what I was going to do in class and we had a group project. I was grouped up with these 3 other girls who I did not know really well, but never the less I hit it off pretty good with them. It has been a while just having a good time, even in school with girls I didn't even know kinda made me realize how much easier it is when I am with somebody I dont have any history with. Im not exactly the shy type with girls, so feeling excited about the girl in the op just piqued my attention a bit but realistically I dont think she is my type even if things worked out with us.
Any how since then Ive been chatting and flirting with one of the girls I was grouped up with and we get along pretty well so it all has worked out pretty well.
This has to be the best ending of a girl blog ever.
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On February 02 2011 00:43 happyft wrote:Show nested quote +On February 01 2011 14:03 Quake48 wrote: Eh alright so Thanks for all the support and words of wisdom Thaiska especially, just because anybody with just 2 posts who still breaks it down like that is pretty baller. Anyhow incase any of you are wondering let me explained what happened in the days following my OP.
Basically I was still waffling around with what I was going to do in class and we had a group project. I was grouped up with these 3 other girls who I did not know really well, but never the less I hit it off pretty good with them. It has been a while just having a good time, even in school with girls I didn't even know kinda made me realize how much easier it is when I am with somebody I dont have any history with. Im not exactly the shy type with girls, so feeling excited about the girl in the op just piqued my attention a bit but realistically I dont think she is my type even if things worked out with us.
Any how since then Ive been chatting and flirting with one of the girls I was grouped up with and we get along pretty well so it all has worked out pretty well. This has to be the best ending of a girl blog ever.
Someone actually learns something from a girl blog? Do not believe.
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