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Thrill
2599 Posts
On January 22 2011 09:46 Haemonculus wrote: "This is what I'm supposed to enjoy, right? This is what teenagers do. Why aren't I happy? Because it wasn't with Orb. | ||
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Lightwip
United States5497 Posts
I'm really not sure if there's anything I can say to help. Maybe visit a professional and ask them for assistance. But ultimately, it seems like you just have to find a purpose in life, whatever it may be. | ||
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hypercube
Hungary2735 Posts
There's medication, therapy and support groups out there that could help. There are even internet forums that deal with depression. There are people out there who were in very similar positions and ended up living a productive and happy(!) life. I'd say educate yourself and find out what's the best way for you to reach out for help. | ||
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TyPsi5
United States204 Posts
You make the important distinction between "wishing I was dead" and taking steps to make that a reality ie actually being suicidal. Suicidal thoughts are very common, even with people without clinical depression, however; you might experience them more frequently and they may stay prevalent for longer. I know people who take anti depressants and they say it makes a world of difference. There is also pyschotherapy which can teach you techniques to recognize when you are having thoughts spawned by depression and ways to deal with them. Know that you are not alone, and things can get better. Do some soul searching and research and figure out what the right path for you is. Hang in there man -it can get better. | ||
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THE_DOMINATOR
United States309 Posts
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Nokarot
United States1410 Posts
Suicidal thoughts would imply that you wish to kill yourself, in an act of self harm via violence or perhaps a more painless solution. If you progress to having these kinds of thoughts, you need to seek help. It is not something you will get over alone. If you simply think it would be a relief to be dead, then it is probably just a severe case of stress, maybe depression via stress. Considering that you've said "I'm not thinking of harming myself," this is likely the case for you. What I've told myself is that death would be a relief, but so would other alternatives, such as therapy and medicine, or even just relaxing/soul searching (easier said than done, I'm aware.) I'm not really a wealth of advice, because my weekly therapy sessions have yet to yield anything substantial, and the many medicines I've tried have had ranged side effects of seizures, dizziness, and my current medicine has caused some short term memory loss. It would be a relief to be dead, but I'm still hopeful things will change. | ||
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eLiE
Canada1039 Posts
On January 22 2011 09:30 lux[chavii] wrote: First I want to thank you all for the kind words. When I read threads like this and people wrote 'my condolences' I never thought that it would matter at all, but it actually does make me feel a little better. I'm glad I was wrong. I do have hobbies, I played the guitar for 4 years (piano before that) I'm into music generally really, I'm a member of a football team and work out regularly, I do like to dance. It all just feels as it is not worth it ultimately. Also I really like to find out what motivates people and why they react the way the react in human interaction. I read a lot about body language etc. However I think humans are greedy and selfish, keeping people around them for reasons they benefit from, accept jobs they hate but get just a little bit more money, get into relationships because they want to be seen with that other good-looking person or just because they get satisfaction from being wanted by another attractive human. I think if you work hard enough anything is possible, but to me there is no point in being alive in the first place. I don't think it would matter if I live or die. The only thing I am proud of is, that (apparently, as people tell me) I helped my brother with a rather strong case of OCD in our teens, when our parents moved around a lot for work, and generally rather had work on their mind than family. Edit: I don't want to burden my friends with MY thoughts and problems. We are all in a stage were we are finding out what we want to do with our lives (being 21), this is hard enough for me already. I couldn't stand the thought that they have to cope with the same things, but at the same time carry my problems on top of it. I'm really proud of my friends and what they have achieved so far, it doesn't seem fair that they are hampered by something I should be able to fully control on my own. And as I said I don't really talk to my parents about things which deeply concern me. I think I have never spoken to them about that one girl I really liked in 7th grade, about my thoughts in going into music (they say they wouldn't care if I went to university but I feel they want me to. Both are academics themselves and professors on top of that), about my feelings towards my past. I just try to keep conversations to the boring everyday small talk. Also I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to a doctor, I have problems letting people deep into my life already (like knowing personal stuff I care about). Talking to a stranger, who then gives me advice on my problems is like a no-no. Edit2: I'm sure my friends would care, probably a great deal. Yet, I don't think it's fair that I weigh them down by my personal problems, which I don't even seem to know, while everybody else seems to be able to deal with theirs. It makes me mad, that I'm apparently unable to do this on my own. No man is an island! You can't be afraid to share your problems with friends and strangers. And guess what, you're doing it right now! Unfortunately, you can't get the same informed perspective from us that you can from those close to you. And Travis is right, you're friends may even enjoy having the opportunity to help you. And I want you to imagine this. Say that you did happen to die in one of these 'accidents', what that would do to your friends. It would destroy a piece of them, and knowing that they could have helped you but didn't get the chance to would hurt them even more. We're all connected, so please don't shut yourself off from those who would do whatever they could to help you. No one would blame you for asking for help with such a serious issue. Too often people are afraid to show their true selves, everyone wears the mask. When I have to deal with bad shit, I ask others for help and vice versa, and ultimately, it strengthens our relationship. And if you think that your life doesn't matter, make it matter. Dedicate your brief time on this earth to something that changes people's lives. One piece of advice I think is important is never underestimate the value of a human life. Even a beggar may have something wonderful to offer the world, and a single good act can very easily set off a chain reaction (look at Terry Fox as an example). Be the cause to some effects and your life WILL matter. | ||
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drewcifer
United States192 Posts
On January 22 2011 09:19 Lefnui wrote: That is the dumbest thing that I've ever heard. People commit suicide in order to die. That's what they want, it's a good thing to them. Then they can die? If you beyond any doubt don't want to live anymore, you can definitely kill yourself. As long as you've taken a long time to come to that decision, then there is no reason to try to convince you not to do it. The sad thing is when young kids kill themselves over dumb shit as a way out of a problem they have. In which case the suicides are mistakenly assuming they are taking an alternative to life. All my humble 2 cents were that death is a horrible alternative much worse than any situation life can give you. So just rock out with your cock out until it happens? It's enough to refrain me from suicide, so I thought I'd mention it to the OP since he said he had suicidal thoughts. You must not hear many dumb things.. sorry I couldn't contribute as well as you did my brother lefnui | ||
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Rayzorblade
United States1172 Posts
I advise you to get some help man. Or at the very least, find someone to talk to. I'd be willing. Someone I knew said something very insightful to me - at least in my opinion - about life: you've won the lottery and have the best reward, that is, the chance to be alive. Life itself is worth living for. | ||
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eLiE
Canada1039 Posts
On January 22 2011 12:08 Rayzorblade wrote: I've been dealing with depression now for some time and I want to tell you, first, that you aren't alone. I also had suicidal thoughts and even spent some time in the hospital because I was quite close to doing it. I advise you to get some help man. Or at the very least, find someone to talk to. I'd be willing. Someone I knew said something very insightful to me - at least in my opinion - about life: you've won the lottery and have the best reward, that is, the chance to be alive. Life itself is worth living for. That's a pretty baller way of thinking about it too | ||
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BasilPesto
Australia624 Posts
On January 22 2011 08:44 lux[chavii] wrote: however for reasons I don't fully understand. My parents are sort of wealthy, upper middle class and support me with a whole lot of money, I have a good social life and some really close friends, I'm decent looking and have success with the ladies, yet I keep on thinking 'I would be really sweet if that car would just lose control and ran me over.' I'm not thinking about harming myself (not yet anyways), but I just think sometimes it would be nice to die through an accident or something along those lines. Though I talk to my parents nearly on a daily basis, I talk about stuff which does not concern me, let alone things I really care about. They pressure me to find out what I wanna do with my life, however I'm not even sure if I really want to find out in the first place. I just feel so down most of the time when being alone. I try to mask it when I'm around people to not show my actually feelings, thus I'm known for being funny and outgoing, but on the inside it's the other way 'round. I talk to friends about stuff, which I have care about, share hobbies with etc, but at the same time I don't want them to worry or wear them down by my thoughts, as they don't deserve that. I'm not sure if I should seek help and if the answer is yes, if I want to seek help. Also I'm not exactly sure why I post this, but it's definitely a good feeling to vent at an unknown entity as an anonymous. Go talk to your GP about it. Or find a counsellor. They really do help. They pretty much act like the responses in this blog, lending an ear for you and providing you with ideas, advice, guidance, etc. | ||
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Rayzorblade
United States1172 Posts
On January 22 2011 12:20 eLiE wrote: That's a pretty baller way of thinking about it too Yeah man, I agree! If you think about it, you were that single, strong little sperm that made it into the egg. And your reward is life! It's pretty cool.  | ||
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Baby_Seal
United States360 Posts
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luckyseven
179 Posts
its totally okay to have sick and fucked up thoughts as a sort of curiosity or "sick" pleasure or fantasy. enjoy them, theyre part of who people are. dont worry about it, this is the age of the internet where friends joke about raping people and look at anime pictures of women with their breasts cut off and being fucked up the eyeball for fun. but if you decide you're actually borderline psychotic or on the edge of mental control in that you feel that you could actually pursue these sick thoughts, then you should definately seek medical help for depression (just get some tablets, you'll feel a little bit better to begin with just for having them). absolutely stay away from alcohol if this is the case, and immediately join a gym(!) | ||
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eLiE
Canada1039 Posts
On January 22 2011 12:35 luckyseven wrote: you should be able to distinguish between suicidal thoughts in depression from suicidal thoughts that you might have in a curious or perverted nature its totally okay to have sick and fucked up thoughts as a sort of curiosity or "sick" pleasure or fantasy. enjoy them, theyre part of who people are. dont worry about it, this is the age of the internet where friends joke about raping people and look at anime pictures of women with their breasts cut off and being fucked up the eyeball for fun. but if you decide you're actually borderline psychotic or on the edge of mental control in that you feel that you could actually pursue these sick thoughts, then you should definately seek medical help for depression (just get some tablets, you'll feel a little bit better to begin with just for having them). absolutely stay away from alcohol if this is the case, and immediately join a gym(!) :O Tablets are not the answer unless he's exhausted all other options, and he isn't sick! The thoughts aren't 'sick', everyone experiences them from time to time. He's just got a personal issue he needs to address. | ||
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Whole
United States6046 Posts
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Servius_Fulvius
United States947 Posts
On January 22 2011 10:18 Haemonculus wrote: This is exactly the sort of arrogance that bothers me about religious folk, (or some of them at least). We have plenty of religion threads around here. Please keep it to yourself. There is no arrogance in that statement. Have you missed what is happening in this thread? OP describes something that's going wrong. Everyone has posted something slightly different in their own way - suggestions, rationalizations, dark humor - all of it intended to support someone, someone we don't even know, yet wish to help in some little way. In the end there's nothing we can do but be there for the person, the person we do not know. It can be a helpless feeling; we want to feel like we're being the most help we can. Some give supportive words, some give suggestions, and some pray. There's nothing wrong with any of it . I want to keep the discussion on the OP, so if you need to comment further please message me. OP, though TL is hardly a reliable medical source, you are describing symptoms and common experiences of depression. Only a professional can tell you for certain, but I understand your concern for sharing things with strangers. That's ok. You have your friends and you seem to trust them. Sure, we may want to be the friend who supports others selflessly without causing undue burden. This simply isn't possible. We're not robots and need help. I didn't find this out until I was 22 and completely out of my mind with what turned out to be an anxiety disorder (I didn't do anything about it for a year and a half). Friends help friends who are down, especially when you've been there for them. You really need to confide in someone. I'd suggest choosing the person you trust the most and just talk. Having been the person talking, it almost feels wrong and I had no clue why I was spilling my true feelings out (but after I dropped the burden of dealing with it on my own I finally felt a shred of hope). Having also been the person who has listened, I found that nothing was more important than hearing them out and helping them the best way I could (which, for the most part, is just listening). Only you can decide if you want to get additional help. It's generally a good idea to listen to your friends if they're all urging you to get some help (especially if suicidal thoughts persist). There's no shame in professional help; I learned to live with my anxiety disorder with the help of a therapist PLUS I do it without medication. While you may not be able to totally control what you feel, you CAN control what you do about it! | ||
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Kenpachi
United States9908 Posts
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krispy
United States22 Posts
People that buy and work hard for their own things often enjoy them more. It is odd, but if things are gifted or easy to get with absolutely no work. These things will have little value to you. This will happen in life and with your mindset. If things aren't being worked for or a high goal is in mind. It's hard to have a reason to go on because of the unsureness of being satisfied with life. People that suggest seeing help or try getting a mate. These are goals and you have to work on doing these things. Because it is difficult you will be enjoying doing it and feel some comfort because you are coming up on top. It doesn't really matter what you do as long as it has this pattern involved and you get satisfaction from your own actions. | ||
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inReacH
Sweden1612 Posts
It's really graphic but if you actually think that stuff you should watch to know exactly what you're thinking http://www.thebeijinger.com/blog/2011/01/20/Beijings-Greatest-Hits-Free-to-air-Traffic-Carnage-on-BTV | ||
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