EPTsuicidal thoughts - Page 2
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StutteR
United States1903 Posts
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VonLego
United States519 Posts
Sure live life a bit more with new hobbies or something, but finding a reason to live by finding a relationship? Thats a very scary suggestion! Most relationships end, what are you going to do in the mean team? Not to mention that would be mildly, to say the least, creepy for the girl! I'm a big supported of only forming a romantic relationship when you're standing on your own two feet. Sure there are exceptions, the right girl at the wrong time is still the right girl: however -a- girl at the wrong time is a bad idea on many levels. | ||
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Deleted User 3420
24492 Posts
On January 22 2011 09:14 eLiE wrote: Don't be afraid to share your problems with other people. IMO, the worst thing you can do is think that you have to bear your problems by yourself. Everyone needs help and friends should be able to help their friends through difficult times. Talking about your problems will also help you to cope with them. And the doctor is your friend too, don't be afraid to be forced into a drug solution, that's a last, last resort after all else has failed. They'll probably be able to get you counselling sessions with a therapist, who can also help you to work out your problems. it's also the case that for some(a lot) of people, helping others(especially those they consider their friends) makes them feel good. | ||
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NeonFlare
Finland1307 Posts
Stuff that I should do and stuff that I want to do... time is limited and sometimes it's nigh impossible to choose even one of them if I'm sick and tired. It's all about finding something you truly like and/or telling yourself "there might be something interesting in future". Stress and all kind of pressuring from others often makes shit worse, but clearing some set goal will at least give temporary satisfaction most of the time. If nothing really makes one want to go on, then the whole life needs some major change. All this might be a mess, since I'm bit lost in thought. | ||
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Lefnui
United States753 Posts
On January 22 2011 09:10 drewcifer wrote: Here is a reason not to kill yourself: You will die. I know you know that...but just think a bit about it...use the brain that you will cease to have.... That is the dumbest thing that I've ever heard. People commit suicide in order to die. That's what they want, it's a good thing to them. | ||
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Late
Latvia418 Posts
Perhaps you lack inspiration to live. Find something that fascinates you and simply live your life, there's more to it than the expectations of your parents and the people around you. The pressure lifts when you do what you want to do, not what you think you are supposed to do. I don't really know what else to say, there's just too much to put into words. | ||
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lux[chavii]
Germany115 Posts
I do have hobbies, I played the guitar for 4 years (piano before that) I'm into music generally really, I'm a member of a football team and work out regularly, I do like to dance. It all just feels as it is not worth it ultimately. Also I really like to find out what motivates people and why they react the way the react in human interaction. I read a lot about body language etc. However I think humans are greedy and selfish, keeping people around them for reasons they benefit from, accept jobs they hate but get just a little bit more money, get into relationships because they want to be seen with that other good-looking person or just because they get satisfaction from being wanted by another attractive human. I think if you work hard enough anything is possible, but to me there is no point in being alive in the first place. I don't think it would matter if I live or die. The only thing I am proud of is, that (apparently, as people tell me) I helped my brother with a rather strong case of OCD in our teens, when our parents moved around a lot for work, and generally rather had work on their mind than family. Edit: I don't want to burden my friends with MY thoughts and problems. We are all in a stage were we are finding out what we want to do with our lives (being 21), this is hard enough for me already. I couldn't stand the thought that they have to cope with the same things, but at the same time carry my problems on top of it. I'm really proud of my friends and what they have achieved so far, it doesn't seem fair that they are hampered by something I should be able to fully control on my own. And as I said I don't really talk to my parents about things which deeply concern me. I think I have never spoken to them about that one girl I really liked in 7th grade, about my thoughts in going into music (they say they wouldn't care if I went to university but I feel they want me to. Both are academics themselves and professors on top of that), about my feelings towards my past. I just try to keep conversations to the boring everyday small talk. Also I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to a doctor, I have problems letting people deep into my life already (like knowing personal stuff I care about). Talking to a stranger, who then gives me advice on my problems is like a no-no. Edit2: I'm sure my friends would care, probably a great deal. Yet, I don't think it's fair that I weigh them down by my personal problems, which I don't even seem to know, while everybody else seems to be able to deal with theirs. It makes me mad, that I'm apparently unable to do this on my own. | ||
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Haemonculus
United States6980 Posts
Honestly, TL is probably not the best place to discuss these things, because if I had to guess, there's more to the story that you aren't willing to admit online to a group of strangers. Chances are you've got other dreams, wants, needs, desires, or whatever else that aren't being met. What is it that you want? What do you dream about that you don't admit to anyone, perhaps not even yourself? You obviously don't need to express it to TL, but just sort of think about it. | ||
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Yung
United States727 Posts
Thinking about it go talk to a expert. It can't hurt. | ||
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Nuttyguy
United Kingdom1526 Posts
On January 22 2011 09:30 lux[chavii] wrote: First I want to thank you all for the kind words. When I read threads like this and people wrote 'my condolences' I never thought that it would matter at all, but it actually does make me feel a little better. I'm glad I was wrong. I do have hobbies, I played the guitar for 4 years (piano before that) I'm into music generally really, I'm a member of a football team and work out regularly, I do like to dance. It all just feels as it is not worth it ultimately. Also I really like to find out what motivates people and why they react the way the react in human interaction. I read a lot about body language etc. However I think humans are greedy and selfish, keeping people around them for reasons they benefit from, accept jobs they hate but get just a little bit more money, get into relationships because they want to be seen with that other good-looking person or just because they get satisfaction from being wanted by another attractive human. I think if you work hard enough anything is possible, but to me there is no point in being alive in the first place. I don't think it would matter if I live or die. The only thing I am proud of is, that (apparently, as people tell me) I helped my brother with a rather strong case of OCD in our teens, when our parents moved around a lot for work, and generally rather had work on their mind than family. Edit: I don't want to burden my friends with MY thoughts and problems. We are all in a stage were we are finding out what we want to do with our lives (being 21), this is hard enough for me already. I couldn't stand the thought that they have to cope with the same things, but at the same time carry my problems on top of it. I'm really proud of my friends and what they have achieved so far, it doesn't seem fair that they are hampered by something I should be able to fully control on my own. And as I said I don't really talk to my parents about things which deeply concern me. I think I have never spoken to them about that one girl I really liked in 7th grade, about my thoughts in going into music (they say they wouldn't care if I went to university but I feel they want me to. Both are academics themselves and professors on top of that), about my feelings towards my past. I just try to keep conversations to the boring everyday small talk. Also I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to a doctor, I have problems letting people deep into my life already (like knowing personal stuff I care about). Talking to a stranger, who then gives me advice on my problems is like a no-no. this may come out wrong but, are you sure you're not confusing philosophy with your feelings? it just sounds like you're a little confused about your career in the future and thats causing depression maybe? im not an expert but you shouldn't do things to please your parents but do things to please yourself | ||
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LazyMacro
976 Posts
On January 22 2011 09:30 lux[chavii] wrote: First I want to thank you all for the kind words. When I read threads like this and people wrote 'my condolences' I never thought that it would matter at all, but it actually does make me feel a little better. I'm glad I was wrong. I do have hobbies, I played the guitar for 4 years (piano before that) I'm into music generally really, I'm a member of a football team and work out regularly, I do like to dance. It all just feels as it is not worth it ultimately. Also I really like to find out what motivates people and why they react the way the react in human interaction. I read a lot about body language etc. However I think humans are greedy and selfish, keeping people around them for reasons they benefit from, accept jobs they hate but get just a little bit more money, get into relationships because they want to be seen with that other good-looking person or just because they get satisfaction from being wanted by another attractive human. I think if you work hard enough anything is possible, but to me there is no point in being alive in the first place. I don't think it would matter if I live or die. The only thing I am proud of is, that (apparently, as people tell me) I helped my brother with a rather strong case of OCD in our teens, when our parents moved around a lot for work, and generally rather had work on their mind than family. Edit: I don't want to burden my friends with MY thoughts and problems. We are all in a stage were we are finding out what we want to do with our lives (being 21), this is hard enough for me already. I couldn't stand the thought that they have to cope with the same things, but at the same time carry my problems on top of it. I'm really proud of my friends and what they have achieved so far, it doesn't seem fair that they are hampered by something I should be able to fully control on my own. And as I said I don't really talk to my parents about things which deeply concern me. I think I have never spoken to them about that one girl I really liked in 7th grade, about my thoughts in going into music (they say they wouldn't care if I went to university but I feel they want me to. Both are academics themselves and professors on top of that), about my feelings towards my past. I just try to keep conversations to the boring everyday small talk. Also I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to a doctor, I have problems letting people deep into my life already (like knowing personal stuff I care about). Talking to a stranger, who then gives me advice on my problems is like a no-no. If you were my friend, I'd be more upset you thought I didn't care than if you said, "Hey, can I talk to you about something?" They're your friends. Talk to them. | ||
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Meepman
Canada610 Posts
On January 22 2011 09:54 LazyMacro wrote: + Show Spoiler + On January 22 2011 09:30 lux[chavii] wrote: First I want to thank you all for the kind words. When I read threads like this and people wrote 'my condolences' I never thought that it would matter at all, but it actually does make me feel a little better. I'm glad I was wrong. I do have hobbies, I played the guitar for 4 years (piano before that) I'm into music generally really, I'm a member of a football team and work out regularly, I do like to dance. It all just feels as it is not worth it ultimately. Also I really like to find out what motivates people and why they react the way the react in human interaction. I read a lot about body language etc. However I think humans are greedy and selfish, keeping people around them for reasons they benefit from, accept jobs they hate but get just a little bit more money, get into relationships because they want to be seen with that other good-looking person or just because they get satisfaction from being wanted by another attractive human. I think if you work hard enough anything is possible, but to me there is no point in being alive in the first place. I don't think it would matter if I live or die. The only thing I am proud of is, that (apparently, as people tell me) I helped my brother with a rather strong case of OCD in our teens, when our parents moved around a lot for work, and generally rather had work on their mind than family. Edit: I don't want to burden my friends with MY thoughts and problems. We are all in a stage were we are finding out what we want to do with our lives (being 21), this is hard enough for me already. I couldn't stand the thought that they have to cope with the same things, but at the same time carry my problems on top of it. I'm really proud of my friends and what they have achieved so far, it doesn't seem fair that they are hampered by something I should be able to fully control on my own. And as I said I don't really talk to my parents about things which deeply concern me. I think I have never spoken to them about that one girl I really liked in 7th grade, about my thoughts in going into music (they say they wouldn't care if I went to university but I feel they want me to. Both are academics themselves and professors on top of that), about my feelings towards my past. I just try to keep conversations to the boring everyday small talk. Also I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to a doctor, I have problems letting people deep into my life already (like knowing personal stuff I care about). Talking to a stranger, who then gives me advice on my problems is like a no-no. If you were my friend, I'd be more upset you thought I didn't care than if you said, "Hey, can I talk to you about something?" They're your friends. Talk to them. This. but If they DO mind, they can't be that good of a friend. Don't think about it as "bothering your friends" think of it as looking for support. | ||
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eXigent.
Canada2419 Posts
On January 22 2011 09:04 `Zapdos wrote: Some people just have hormone imbalances and it's not their fault. You should consult a doctor or a therapist. Chances are you can get help relatively easily and go back to living a normal happy life. You could even do it without medication if you want, therapy is extremely powerful. Think about it and GL ^_^ Im not sure if you read this guys post but you definitely should take this into consideration. Depression is a medical condition that you have no control over. It's hormonal, and affects you on a really negative level while leaving you unaware as to WHY you feel like you do. I highly highly suggest going to a therapist and discussing how you feel, and allowing them to possibly make a clinical diagnosis of your current state. Odds are they can come up with medicine that will take all of those feelings away, and you will go back to feeling the way you use to before all of this started developing. If you do not seek any sort of help, and instead choose to deal with it on your own, then you run a very big risk of getting much worse, and at the very extreme, taking your own life. Although this may feel like what you want to do, it would be extremely unfair and horrible for everyone around you that loves and cares about you. I mean, its not only going to ruin your life, its going to permenantly ruin the lives of everyone you have met and everyone that cares for you. It would be the worst decision on earth to make, when there is a clear and obvious path to help. In the end, explore all of your options and understand whats causing this pain before going over the deep end into a mistake you can never take back. Lastly, I wish you luck and hope you can pull out of this! | ||
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danl9rm
United States3111 Posts
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. Me and my wife will pray for you. | ||
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Haemonculus
United States6980 Posts
On January 22 2011 10:13 danl9rm wrote: Jeremiah 29:11-12 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. Me and my wife will pray for you. This is exactly the sort of arrogance that bothers me about religious folk, (or some of them at least). We have plenty of religion threads around here. Please keep it to yourself. | ||
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ProjectVirtue
Canada360 Posts
I dont like this world. Simple enough. I dont like the cliques, the seemingly continuous degrade of general morality, the uprising crime rates, and lack of dignity and honor some people have and their overall interactions disgust me. Of course there are hobbies etc that are interesting to me, as well as friends, but should i get hit by that bus on my way to the university, meh, its just 1 less monkey in the face of population crisis considering our world population practically tripled within the past 150 years, no biggie. so then what was my answer, well, like the effort i'm putting into my studies, my parents put a lot of their effort into me, and i dont want to waste it. As such, my ambition to do well in school is to help my parents lean back, relax and say "ah, we did our job well". Likewise, should the arrive that they pass on, i still have 2 siblings i hold an obligation to. And if i have a family by that time, i have a responsibility to them as well. so i set conditions. Sure, i have suicidal thoughts now and then, but my conditions aren't met yet. Parents still alive, siblings still alive, although i have no family of my own atm, when the first two conditions are met i don't know what my life will be like. (cousins and other extended family don't count). SO, until all 3 of the above are met, suicide is not allowed to somebody insignificant like me :D not sure if that pertains to your situation at all but maybe it'll share some insight | ||
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Inzek
Chile802 Posts
i've seen in other and in me that when people have it kind of easy they lose this sense of direction, its looks like this is what is hapening to you. Also, like the one above me, some seek refuge in religion, drougs, or anything that can give you any (false) sense. all i want to say, by living you might find some sense, some direction, you could enjoy your life; by dying, you will just disappear, and forever lose any chance to find a meaning or whatever. thinking about death is not wrong imo, death defines life... also, the only person that you can be sure exist is you, theres really no logic into shutdowning yourself glhf | ||
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Deleted User 3420
24492 Posts
On January 22 2011 10:26 ProjectVirtue wrote: I find myself thinking like you too. This first occured for me a couple years ago when i was 15. and then i couldn't really answer why i had those thoughts until i was 16 and i arrived at a conclusion. maybe you share a similar viewpoint and might be able to share the same answer. I dont like this world. Simple enough. I dont like the cliques, the seemingly continuous degrade of general morality, the uprising crime rates, and lack of dignity and honor some people have and their overall interactions disgust me. if you focus on seeing negativity then that is what you will see. sure, it is reality, but it is only part of it. but you are seeing it as negative when that's actually not objectively what it is. it's much more complicated than that, and shouldn't have anything to do with what life is like for you in the present moment anyways. | ||
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decafchicken
United States19927 Posts
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AzTec
Canada178 Posts
You didn't mention how old you were but I had these types of thoughts when I was 15-17 and I'm 20 now. I honestly have no real advice. I just lived life and got through that period. I slept a lot, ate very little, and mainly just listened to music / surfed the internet. None of my friends or parents knew and if I told them that I felt that way back then they would probably be very surprised as I had nothing to be depressed about, it just happened. Just as I have no real answer for why it happened I have no real answer for why it stopped, it just did. Only other things I want to address: 1. You said you don't know what you want to do, well I think that's totally unrelated to depression so don't worry about it, I didn't know what I wanted to do before, during, and after the depression. 2. I wouldn't advise seeking help, I think if you want to talk about it just about everyone replying here would be more then happy to exchange AIM names or w/e but to physically reach out to someone could really mess up a lot of your RL relationships. Sounds to me like the state you're in will pass, then it will just be a fuzzy memory but if you contact a psychiatrist or whatever the consequences could follow you for a long time to come, especially if you get prescribed anything. | ||
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