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reminds me of the poem richard cory 
+ Show Spoiler +Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean-favoured and imperially slim.
And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good Morning!" and he glittered when he walked.
And he was rich, yes, richer than a king,
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine -- we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.
So on we worked and waited for the light,
And went without the meat and cursed the bread,
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet in his head.
suicide is never an answer my friend. my advice would be to start working out or running. set a goal and work toward it, and it doesn't necessarily have to do with what i suggested. talking about it to someone, even posting here was a good idea, these thoughts aren't meant to be bottled up.
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On January 22 2011 08:47 Marradron wrote:Is it just me or is this post empty ?
hahaha I lol'd at this! ^_^
well to add contribution to your situation OP, first things first is to get help from someone.. doesn't really need to be a shrink. Just a friend you think that truly understands your emotions (nothing cheese here) you know someone who's an outlet to your problems and wouldn't diss you because you're an emo (I had friends that doesn't want to hang out with some of my other friends because they're really depressed and destroys the mood when we drink beer).
Also, try going out with a girl dude.. find someone you can be with and well one that wouldn't break your heart. I think first time I lost depression syndromes is when I learned to love someone and that's the time I appreciated my life and love ones. If you can, try as much to shrug off the negative thoughts since that's where it all starts.
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Find your dream, your passion, anything that motivates you. Get a job, find out what it feels like to enjoy the fruits of your own work. The feeling of accomplishment is amazing, and that's what I live for.
And there're so many TLers, strangers that you've never met before, trying to help you. Isn't life great? : )
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Canada13404 Posts
Its ok to share your problems with those close to you and getting some help might be the best option. I had some similar feelings when I was confused about what I wanted to do but being able to share feelings with others and working my way through it helped and I think it can help you too.
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do some charity work. it might make you feel better.
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On January 22 2011 09:30 lux[chavii] wrote:
Also I really like to find out what motivates people and why they react the way the react in human interaction. I read a lot about body language etc.
However I think humans are greedy and selfish, keeping people around them for reasons they benefit from, accept jobs they hate but get just a little bit more money, get into relationships because they want to be seen with that other good-looking person or just because they get satisfaction from being wanted by another attractive human.
I think if you work hard enough anything is possible, but to me there is no point in being alive in the first place. I don't think it would matter if I live or die.
I'm really proud of my friends and what they have achieved so far, it doesn't seem fair that they are hampered by something I should be able to fully control on my own.
OP I think you're too smart for your own good. I'm not just saying that to make you trust me. I often think about the same things that you do. Are you taking psychology courses?
However I think you should talk to your friends. You may think that what you are dealing with should be something you can control, but it obviously isn't. Admit that it isn't, and go seek help from your closest friends.
Not having any concern about whether you live or die doesn't sound wrong to me. That doesn't mean that I'll jump off the CN tower anytime soon.
Here's a post I made today, with a quote from Doctor Manhattan. I'm not copying and pasting it because I want to be lazy. I simply think that it may be relevant to your current situation.
Show nested quote +
In my opinion, the existence of life is a highly overrated phenomenon.
A live body and a dead body contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there's no discernible difference. Life and death are unquantifiable abstracts. Why should I be concerned?
Life isn't something magical, it's just a phenomena that occurred. Life is just some sustainable structure. It finds ways to reproduce and therefore has existed for a long time. Manhattan goes on to say somewhere else along the movie that if the earth were to disappear that, the universe would not care. Manhattan really has a way of putting your entire life into perspective. For a second you try to think from the vantage point of an impartial observer. You won't see life on Earth, you'll just see a collection of sustainable systems. These systems won't have free thoughts, they'll have deterministic electrochemical reactions leading them to the illusion of free will (this is my own belief, I do not require everyone else to see things this way). I personally, realize that I can't really see the world from the perspective of an impartial observer. It's physically impossible to exit my body or mind. I can only imagine what it would be like to see things from some other perspective. For this reason, all my troubles, all my thoughts, they aren't just perceived to be important. To me, they are important.
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I know *exactly* how you feel.
For people like you and me, let me explain to you something that to most people, just doesn't make sense
Happiness isn't important. It doesn't get you anywhere. Being "happy" should not be a priority in life - doing things that make you happy for some people, just doesn't get them anywhere. They do things, and feel frustrated when they arn't happy, or that even if they are happy, it just doesn't feel right.
Until for someone like yourself, you learn to let go of happiness, you'll be fumbling around, obsessing constantly about happiness all day every day. Why am i not happy? I have everything going for me, awesome family, fantastic career prospects, good financial security, good hobbies and lots of free time, friends etc.
But i'm still not happy?
Importantly, there are things that make you sad too. Things that make you depressed. Like seeing that girl you really liked and connected with go out with some guy you hate who is a total jerk
Or being purposely socially outcasted, and its not your fault
And then maybe, you did something bad, something to retaliate. And you knew it would only make you feel worse, because you will be the perpetrator, and everyone else will be the victim
Maybe, you can't change, you don't want to change. You see those happy people out there, just being happy all the time, and you don't understand how they do it. They havn't thought of their life like you have, and they arn't in the rut
Depressed people obsess about happiness more than everyone else. Everyone else is just.. happy. They only get sad when circumstances are bad for them
Depressed people are depressed regardless of their circumstances
So let go, be free. Happiness just isnt important. It doesn't accomplish you anything
It is the tough, depressing times, that shape and define you as a person. That girl you liked, she makes you angry and sad, and theres nothing you can do about it.
Its hard to have goals when you don't know what you are doing with them, or why i need them
But nowadays, it doesn't matter if i am happy, or if i am really depressed. It just is. It's not an important part of my life. I try my best to not obsess. Some things still rile me up, and i just have to let go, and keep going
And then now i'm free. I'm no longer burdened with the obsession that i need to be happy. I do things to better myself as a person, i experiment with interacting with people in different ways, i get on with my life and push myself to improve.
And then maybe, just maybe, i can experience a little happiness along the way.
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EPT
