EPTIt's a little over a week since my very first entry of my own version of 'Diamond or Bust' blog. I was hoping to write it a bit earlier, although being slightly busy kind of prevented me from doing so. On plus side, at least I got some nifty PC upgrades. Enough of that though. I'll try to write up a small summary of the ladder games I played.
Baby steps first
In my last post, I kind of touched how hard for me was to even try ladder games in the first place. The reason being, was my strong fear of failing yet again, the fact that I get very tense and nervous during these games and thus, it makes it hard to play them, win them or even to learn anything. But, after I made conscious decision to change myself not only as a StarCraft2 player, but also as a person, trying to go through with my dreams and plans without giving up because of failures and lack of self-confidence.
This is why I promised to myself to play 3 ladder games/day for now. Now, I know some of you would say it's way too little, but I have to start somehow. So far, I have very little to no confidence about my gameplay at all. I mostly spent playing against people in my friendlist; and they all are already quite advanced. They range from Gold to Diamond level so no wonder I suck when I play against them.
Summary
My W/L ratio & Rank week ago:
5 wins
8 loses
Total 13 games
These games were played prior to my wish to actually go ahead and play 3 games/day. Also, 5 of them were my placement matches, from which I lost 3 and won just two, placing at the very bottom of the Bronze league. Games beyond placement matches were played like a month ago and I got beaten mostly by cheese. It made me to throw the laddering away for a while again. I felt tired and discouraged, because despite of efforts to try and learn the fundamentals of the game, I could be beaten easily by cheesers, who usually don't need to put much effort into their games. I felt like I wasted my time, unhappy with myself and seemingly lack of any progress.
New beginning!
I started my laddering games on Tuesday; 7th December. Originally wanted to start on Monday, but EU Bnet was down so I couldn't really play. Well, I could, but only on my US account but that'd obviously wouldn't count towards my EU stuff, so I just dropped it that day and didn't play at all, because my US account lacks friends to play with/against.
Games Summary
Tuesday; 7th December
Games played: 3
2 wins
1 loss
Wednesday; 8th December
Games played: 3
2 wins
1 loss
Thursday; 9th December
Games played: 3
2 wins
1 loss
Friday; 10th December
Games played: 3
1 win
2 losses
Match-up statistics
vs Protoss:
3 games
1 win
2 losses
vs Zerg:
2 games
2 wins
vs Terran:
7 games
4 wins
3 lossses
I haven't played any games on Saturday at all, because I upgraded my PC on that day and had to completelly reinstall my system.
Maps:
Jungle Basin - 3 games
Metalopolis - 3 games
Scrap Station - 2 games
Xel'Naga Caverns - 3 games
Blistering sands - 1 game
Note: Maps voted against for my ladder games:
Lost Temple
Shakuras Plateau
Delta Quadrant
My overall W/L after first 12 ladder matches
12 wins
13 losses
My W/L ratio from this week only:
7 wins
5 losses
Yes, overally speaking, I'm still at negative ratio but I'm trying hard to stay positive while doing this. I somehow managed to fix the W/L at least a bit, compared to what it looked like a week ago, so I'll take that for small success.
General Observations
The way I feel during my ladder matches highly affects how well or how bad I perform. My first ladder game this week was terrible to the point when I was trembling, my heart was pounding and I even managed to misclick when sending my probes to mine in the very first moment in the game, telling myself I'm basically defeated already. My first ladder game was actually against Terran and I believe that my huge tension was big factor as to why I lost that game. I need to work on not feeling nervous. What helped me to some degree, was to simply spam in the beginning of the game. So if anyone sees me spamming, it's not to get some APM or whatever up. It's simply to bind my mind into game's mindset. So I focus on the game rather than focusing on the fact how tense and nervous I am.
Also, having a good music; I find good trance or even meditation music as good, while I'm playing. It depends on my mood as to which of these two I pick. Meditation music is good for relaxing myself tad more. It may seem as a bit of contrast, because the game itself is fast-paced and some people might prefer some metal or aggressive music. I actually like metal, but in this case, it would probably only distract my mind which is why I chose the relaxation/meditation music mostly over anything even a bit aggressive.
Generally, it only proves how challenging the game is, not only when it comes to wits but also, the mental self-control. I believe this is one of my biggest weaknesses and it needs to be adjusted in order to get further. Thing is, it's somehow hard to not focusing on 'want to win' mindset. I have a goal ahead of myself and if I lose too much, how hard it'll be to reach it? Will I even be able to, if I just don't focus on the winning?
Game observations
I am very weak against early rushes. Two games against P I lost, they both rushed me and I failed to identify that when doing my initial scouting after 9Pylon. That third P player I beat did try to rush me as well, but I kinda assumed he wasn't as effecient when it comes to rushing at all, because I managed to fend it off and win the match. Generally speaking, it seems that Protoss players in Bronze usually just either rush or cheese, which made me to somehow dislike the matchup because in the end, what can I improve on my game if the games last 5-10 minutes max, where I have to rush to get the defence up, instead of playing longer game, focusing on macro and all the important stuff. These games are nearly like a waste of time; I don't learn anything, the opponent doesn't learn anything and at the top of all, these games are not even fun.
Terran players are not as cheesy, at least so far. Only one of 7 games were, when the guy tried to get proxy barracks with bunker up, to his bad luck, I managed to find that rather early, maintaining somewhat healthy economy and army production. So far, most PvT's were actually enjotable games. I have yet to learn to analyze my own games to take the most from them, although, I am in belief that sometimes I lose just because I fail to make correct estimation of what my army can take on and what it can't beat. Simply put, estimating my own strenght against strenght of my opponent. That, and crappy micro. I don't have enough precision here, as I also try to macro during battles. Most people here would probably facepalm at how much units I'm able to 'suicide' even though the odds were that I was at advantage. Sometimes, I have no idea why I lost the battle either, when I had more stuff than my opponent.
I only had two PvZ during this week's run. although, both of them tried to zergling rush me. To my surprise, they failed it and I managed to macro up, taking both games for win. I somehow considered my PvZ to be the worst matchup, so either I was lucky or who knows. Also, one of my Z opponents game me first bad manners. I kinda laughed it off and made an album on Facebook called 'StarCraft 2 Bad Manners' where I'll happily upload all bad manners screenies, for my own amusement.
![[image loading]](http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs738.snc4/65801_10150101528491419_722731418_7307739_7073395_n.jpg)
+ Show Spoiler +
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=310486&id=722731418&l=354f251975
Scouting is another big weakness of mine. When I lose my first scouting probe, I don't send another, instead, I end up sending a scout once I get robo and observer out. And even then, in the middle of trying to not forget to keep macroing up, I sometimes forget to actually use my scout. So I end up playing in the dark.
Build orders. Having one for each matchup helped me tons. Not knowing what to do is the worst thing which could happen to me. In the end, part of why I panic is, when I have no idea what to actually do. And, in early game it seems that it's crucial. One little screw up can cost me game. One supply block can cost me the game. All these small things just fall in together.
Things to work on
Mindset
I have a way ahead of me, to get more comfortable with laddering. I believe I made some progress in this area this week. It may be good, but it needs to get better. I need to drop that fear of losing, failing and whatever may hinder me from reaching my goal. The sooner I am able to be calm during my ladder games, the better and more efficient I'll be during these. That'd mean I would play more ladder games as well.
Scouting
Obvious. I do scout, but I'm not as effective as I should. I often just wing it after my first initial scout being killed, until I send my observer out. The reason being, I struggle with multitasking here a bit. When I overcommit to scouting or even microing my units, my macro suffers.
Macro
That's also obvious. I'm Bronze, my macro sucks. Wrking on that every game more than anything else.
Game sense
Knowing when to attack, knowing when to expand, knowing when to pull back. Guess that comes down to experience and the more games played the better.
Food for thought?
Before I actually finish this write-up, there are some things I've been thinking about. One of them is; I have an US account next to my regular EU one I use for playing most of the time, because I am from EU. So, except few occassions, I rarely even touch my US account. Not having friends here is a huge factor in that as well, I believe. My list here consists of like 5-6 people, one of them being my dear friend from another game we played together (not WoW, don't even ask), other one being Geoff and the rest are people from Facebok who added me, but these Facebok people, I never see them online whenever I check my US account.
But, to get to the point; I've been thinking of using my US account to simply 'practice' laddering. Above my so far 3 games/day on EU ladder, to help myself to be at ease while laddering, it may be good to use the other account. But, there's also another factor to consider - wouldn't it be just different, because I basically don't care about my W/L on US account, so the whole mindset thing during these games would be different from the one I have on my EU account? But, the other side is; I'd get to play more diversity more often, and thus, it might help me with my game sense and overall improvement. I have yet to come to some conclusion with myself in this regard.
Last thing - Games casting?!
I actually hoped my dear friend on EU server, who's been my good 2v2 teammate (now 2,5k Protoss) would end up commenting and analyzing my games (he did it with one of my game and seemed open to do it), as he does commentary on his own games and I'd upload these casted games on my youtube channel, posting my links here, to make this whole blog more lively, sadly he got lured into WoW, so I cannot really provide anything more than this huge wall of text. I would comment my own games but I never really tried it and my comments wouldn't be very helpful nor interesting for anyone who'd end up reading this blog.
That's all what was on my mind so far... I'll keep on fighting on. Wish me luck!
