EPT*WARNING*
Disclaimer:This was written over a night filled with nostalgia, for me to think on paper only to delete once I was finished. I had not planned on reading it myself, let alone actually having others read it as well. I actually plan on leaving it as is. Although I'm sure I could make it much more presentable, or easy to read, this is a compilation of memories, thoughts, feelings, and worries as they came out, and I'd like to leave it that way. So grammar/spelling nazi's beware, there is almost definetly countless spelling errors, grammatical errors, run on sentences, never ending paragraphs, and similar things. Other than that, enjoy!
November 18th-19th 2010
Let me start off by thanking you for taking a short bit out of your day to read this. My name is Mike. Today is my birthday. Actually it was yesterday if I'm going to be technical about it. Right now I'm feeling a bit down, no particular reason for this, the last 24 hours have been filled with events that made up a nearly ideal day for a guy like me.
I was able to spend several hours last night playing a good bit of StarCraft II with my best pal. We've been the best of friends since we met in the first grade. I'm not sure exactly what it may have been that pulled us together at such an age, perhaps we shared the same interests. Transformers, Power Rangers, and Marvel comics. Maybe it was the fact that we shared the same first name, and same last initial. That was all it took back in the day, life was simple. As we grew up our interests grew as well, although we always seemed to share the same interests. Power Rangers turned into Pokemon, like every other kid in the country, the show/games/trading cards kept us interested for a few solid years.
It was about the time we entered the sixth grade, we were in middle school, WOOT! Obviously all grown up =P Little did we know that life was just getting interesting. But hey, we were on top of the world. Anywho, we were on top of the world. He introduced me into the world that was Counter Strike, and soon after that we discovered the world of StarCraft BW. These two games accounted for nearly every free moment that we could spare. I can recall this being the time that our parents would set blocks of time where we were or were not allowed on the computer, forcing us to continue functioning as normal children to a certian degree.
On a side note, since this article/blog/journal entry has no obvious order or structure to it, I can associate specific games and/or maps to specific girls I dated during middle school. Starcraft was the biggest "conflict" in my relationship with my first girlfriend, Lauren. Come to think of it, most likely the only conflict =P According to her it was simply "The Forbidden Game". Back in the day when communicating through AIM was all the rage, many conversations were ended due to me being too busy working on my macro, and completely forgetting my plans of alt-tabbing out to resume the conversation whenever I had a spare moment. After that, it seemed that every girl I broke up with, I did so while playing a game of counter-strike. The Anna era ended on de_dust, Emily ended on de_aztec, Kayla's luck ran out while playing cs_assault, and Megan and I called it quits while I was the VIP on as_oilrig.
Onward!
My friendship with Michael(the best pal) is still in motion. Once we hit highschool we went our own ways, socially anyhow. We found ourselves in different cliques, although I wouldn't feel confident in putting a lable on one or the other. I played Football, and my focus was on that, training for the sport, making anyone laugh at anytime possible, and of course, video games any time I wasn't occupied with one of the former. He went in the direction of the non-conformist-ish crowd, and took interest in photography and video/graphic designing. He was also cracking jokes or playing video games any time he could. The thing I loved about it all though was that due to our friendship, each of our friends instantly befriended the other. Perhaps it's my optimistic imagination, but I felt as if we brought two opposite "cliques" together into one. Maybe it simply wasn't and I just saw it that way, or maybe things would have turned out that way without our friendship, but that has always made me feel as if we made a small difference in our small school. We were different enough to have our own interests, but open enough to accept/be accepted by all, minus personal vendettas of course =D
Let's fast forward a bit, after graduation I moved out of my parents house. The day after graduation in fact. It's been a bit less than 4 years, and I had moved 4 times. First with a sibling, not taking on much responsibility, but still working myself out of a "strict" set of rules and curfews, if you could call it that. Then to what I would call a party house. Six college kids, heavy drinking and fairly large parties nearly every night. Cops came to the house 2-3 times per week on average. Needless to say after the first year was done, I was gone. My most recent move was to my current house, which I actually bought rather than mooched/rented, but I'll get into that a bit more later.
Now, I want to point out that there were several time periods within the last 15 years that I haven't kept in touch with Michael. A year here or there where we didn't have classes together, a few months here or there where we were just busy enough to let ourselves slip. But 15 years later, I'll still call him my best friend, due to the fact that no matter what other friendships I've developed, most have come and gone, or simply weren't that great to begin with. He's the one friend I've got that has more or less been a constant over the past 15 years.
Now enough with the bromance, and back to my birthday! As I had mentioned I was up rather late playing some great Starcraft II. I got the day off, and was able to sleep in until about noon. I woke up just in time to shower and all that good shit before my fiance arrived. (more on her in a bit). I was greeted with a Tapout hoodie, and a couple of T-shirts, and some Beef Jerky (my favorite snack evver). Oh yeah and an icecream cake. Shit was so cash.
And back to the Fiance thing. I continued dating here and there throughout HS, and nothing ever clicked. To be completely honest, I always felt like I was too lazy to actually have a serious girlfriend. I was fairly comfortable around most girls, but still had just a hint of akward closet nerd. I had a bad habit of talking to girls up until I was confident that they were into me, and losing interest. The few girls I actually saw myself being able to make the effort to make a relationship work, I would switch over into friend mode until I was friendzoned. One girl in particular I had "talked" to for a few years, towards the end of highschool. She was one year younger than myself, and although I tried my best to convince her we were better friends, she never gave up. We eventually became more than friends, but kept it quiet for the most part. I was still in the state of mind that I was too lazy for a girlfriend, but for whatever reason was completely fine with the situation of having a girlfriend, minus the title. I suppose I held less responsibility that way. Looking back now I definetly feel like a tool, but I was too busy being awesome for girlfriends! I was having fun, going out, getting in fights, winning fights, I was, once again, on top of the world.
This went on for a while, I was stubborn in my "policies" and we carried on as "more than friends" for about a year. I had graduated, and the summer was in full swing. I did my thing, and she went on a family trip to the Dominican Republic for 2 weeks. It was during these two weeks that I realized I had some strong feelings for this girl. (Looking back, I think I always had, it just hadn't been until that time that I would be forced to accept it.) Anyways, the day she returned home from her trip I had been over at a buddies house. There was probably about 15 people in all, cooking out, playing catch, drinking, just having the time of our lives. She called me when she got home, and I asked her if she'd come over and hang out with all of us. She was fairly shocked, and I guess I was a bit too. Keep in mind that we hadn't discussed our situation with anyone else, I guess because we knew what we were doing was silly. Again, something I take complete responsibility for. I was young(er) and dumb. Back on track: She came over, I told her to sit on my lap. She gave me a look and asked if I was drunk. I said "no, well no-ish". She sat on my knee, and I instantly introduced her to my friends as my girlfriend. Everyone seemed suprised, especially her. Looking back I'm not sure what I would have done had she objected, since I never technically asked her.
I've been with her for a bit over three years now, and we've been engaged for just over three months. We're set to be married in September of 2011, so that's good shit. The last 3 years have been great. I was able to seperate myself from the "party crowd" as I call it now. To be completely honest, I had enough fun and did enough drinking between the ages of 15 and 19 to last me a lifetime, so it's been a fairly painless transition to keeping in touch with a few close friends and going out every once in a while to remember the old days.
Also, since I've failed to mention it thus far, her name is Ashley.
Now, on to my life in the last 12-18 months. About 18 months ago I was living in a house that my family owned. Actually it was my Grandmothers house, but since she had passed away a few years earlier and we hadn't sold it, I rented it from my parents. I was going to college for Criminal Justice, and unfortunately the field I was looking at going into was starting to fall a bit. The economy was still spiraling down and I wasn't completely confident that I would be able to find a job after graduation. Anywho, I had just returned home from a trip to texas with Ashley, and my cousin (whom also lived in the same neighborhood) called and told me to go take a look at a house that was literally two houses down from where I was currently staying. I went and took a look, found out that it's price was a bit less than half of what the other houses in the area was going for. I had just gotten everything set up as far as loan approval goes, went to make an offer, and had been informed that another individual had already made an offer and the bank had accepted. I was bummed out to say the least. But whaddya know, 2-3 days later I got a call back from the realtor, the previous "buyer" had fallen through for whatever reason, and they asked me if I was still interested. BOONYA was all I could think. As for work, my brother in-law said he could get me a job as a pipefitter, it was already set up, but I wouldn't be able to start work for another 3 months or so. I already had a job, and had more than enough saved up to start making payments on the house, so it was mine. Side note: I actually found out that what I paid for the house was about 1/3rd of what the previous owner had paid about 3 years earlier, which made me feel even better about my big purchase. I actually took out a bit extra on the loan so that I would be able to completely remodel the kitchen and bathroom, and do some slight updating on the rest of the house.
Time had passed and I had done a good bit of work on the house, all while being able to stay down the street and not having to worry about staying in a house that was mid-remodel. The three months passed, and I was ready to start my new job. Apparently I had already used up all my good luck on the house itself, because I didn't get the job. Turns out, my brother in-law, senority wise was the number 3 guy at the company he worked for. Just so happened that guy number 2's son needed a job. But not all hope was lost, there was a class that the union held once a year, if I took it and completed it, not only would I be guaranteed a job working for one of the unions many contractors, but I would start out as a second year apprentice rather than a first year. The downside was that this class wouldn't happen for another 4 months, and it would be 8-5 mon-fri for 16 weeks. AKA 16 weeks without any income before I would be bringing in the dough. I stayed at my current job for the 4 months leading up, and saved as much as I could to carry me through the training period. I actually moved into my new house about a month before classes were set to start. The only work left to be done was the kitchen.
Time continues to fly, and I've got only a couple of weeks before classes start. I contacted the instructor (he was a friend of my brother in-laws) only to find out that they had actually cancled the class for the year due to the anticipated lack of work for the upcoming year. I pretty much had to say "fuck it" and get a job at Lowe's since they were the first company to interview me. The good news was that my house payment, utilities, and other expenses are low enough that I can get away with having pretty much any job and still pay the bills, entertain myself, and have a bit leftover to save. I've always had pretty simple pleasures anyhow. The bad news is that Lowe's is a shit place to work, and over the last 8 months I've ranged anywhere from 60 hours a week down to 10. Luckily I still have my old/other job that I've got a lot of freedom of working when I can, so I don't have to worry about not having any work at all. Over the past 8 months I've applied to several companies, looking to get my foot in the door, to prove myself worthy and move up the ladder accordingly. I seem to be in a place where I'm a bit stuck, at the current rate I really can no longer afford to hit the reset button and go back for a more defined education to hopefully have a high paying job fall into my lap.
Now, more topic jumping! I've already discussed my strongest friendships, my love life, my personal life, and my childhood. Now for the last piece of the puzzle that is my life. Family. I've got a great family. Mom and Dad are still together, have always been supportive of me, and always offer me help even though they know I'm too proud to take it now that I'm on my own. I grew up with four sisters, I was actually the baby of the family. I was spoiled to say the least. In more ways than one. Chrismas and Birthdays were always great growing up. Often having 6+ other people sending gifts my way, but always being just young enough to not be able to return the favor, although I always tried, even if I was only able to give my favorite hotwheels car, or save up my money and buy some shitty generic $10 gift that I said was for the whole family, I always tried. And everything else too, my youngest sister was 6 years older than me, and they went up from there, so as far back as I can remember, there was ALWAYS someone to give me a ride where ever I needed to go, whenever I needed to go. Now that we're all grown up, I've also got 2 nieces, and 4 nephews, ranging from 6 months-12 years old. We're all close, and I've always been very thankful for the close, loving, and supportive family I was blessed with.
So that's my story. From friendship to love, personal life to family, ups and downs, that's the gist of it. I mentioned in my first paragraph, or more accurately, my first block of text, that I was feeling a bit down, even though I had just had a great birthday. Most of the time it's due to the fact that I know I'm not doing what I want to be as far as career goes. I honestly could care less what I do, obviously there are certian things that I would prefer doing on a daily basis, but my main concern is being financially able to support both me and my future wife, and any kiddos that may come along the way. Not just getting by, but being able to provide all of the things that not only they need, but desire.
It sometimes takes some deep thinking on my part, or letting my mind ramble into text as you've just witnessed, to realize that I've got no right in being down. I've got a great family, a friend as good as they come, and a beautiful lovely fiance that I'm in love with, and she loves me too! Thanks for reading folks, and have a good one.
