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Girls, love and friendship - Page 5

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Hypnosis
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States2061 Posts
September 12 2010 16:46 GMT
#81
Dude girls just want someone to talk to and if you talked to her for a long time about her deep emotions and shitty life she trusts you as a friend and it will never be more than that. Happened to me and I have gotten over it haha
Science without religion is lame, Religion without science is blind
Metalwing
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Turkey1038 Posts
September 12 2010 18:12 GMT
#82
1- You're not selfish, SHE IS. She never resorts to you when she has a boyfriend or a friend with her. She USES you to ease her boredom and loneliness.

2- Your only mistake is to go to her every single time she calls you and get used so much.

3- You suck, because even in this situation, you think that you can't live without her. Admit it, you CAN. I've been through the same process as well, but mine was not 2 years, it was 2 months. And now, i got over it and moved on with my life (well, there were no single girl who liked me, but that girl didn't like me as well).

4- Reason for every single fight between you two is she tries to use the most out of you.
#1 CheckPrime fan // Terrans gonna Terran
Pineapple
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
New Zealand126 Posts
September 12 2010 22:35 GMT
#83
Please, get on David DeAngelo's doubleyourdating.com mailing list immediately. Here's a sample:

A Mistake That "Turns Women Off" INSTANTLY

I'd like to tell you a story...
It's a story that you might find strangely
familiar. Don't be alarmed.
Once upon a time, there was a man who was very
attracted to a particular woman.
At first, she was just another attractive
woman... but the more he got to know her, the more
he began to feel attracted to her... and the more
time he spent with her, the more that attraction
grew into a deep emotional attachment and
affection for her.
But, there was one problem.
As his emotional attachment grew stronger and
stronger, he also grew more and more insecure.
Why?
Because he couldn't tell whether or not she
felt the same way towards him.
Sometimes, she would say things like, "You are
so important to me" and "I'm glad that you're in
my life"... but nothing ever progressed past the
"friendship" stage.
There was an occasional hug, an occasional kiss
on the cheek from her... and once, she even held
his hand for a long time while he talked about an
emotional issue.
But, something was wrong with the picture.
She just wasn't acting like a woman that was
"falling in love". She was acting like a friend.
The insecurity that he felt became a spiral
that amplified itself... and the more insecure he
became, the more afraid he grew of "screwing
things up" by kissing her or asking her to be his
girlfriend.
Plus, the more insecure he became, the less
time she seemed to want to spend with him.
After spending many days and nights obsessing
over this girl, the man finally arrived at the
conclusion that, if she only knew how HE FELT, she
would feel the same way.
So, he made a bold move.
He TOLD HER how he felt.
He confessed that he was in love and that he
would do anything to be with her.
She looked at him with compassion in her eyes
and said, "Thank you... I really mean that... but
I don't want to mess up our friendship... you're
too important to me...."
This only confused the man more.
He didn't know how to take it...
Did it mean that she really loved him too, but
that she was afraid of something?
Did it mean that she wasn't ready for a long
term relationship?
Did it mean that she didn't love him, but that
she was trying to give him a hint?
Did it mean that he hadn't tried hard enough?
Did it mean that he needed to put everything on
the line and REALLY let her know how he felt?
He finally decided that he couldn't go on like
this anymore... he had to be with her.
He had to make sure that she knew just how much
he wanted to be with her... so, he took a big step
- He bought her a symbolic gift and wrote her a
long, long letter... again confessing his
feelings.
And then, the unthinkable happened.
She didn't reply.
He called her three times a day for almost a
week before reaching her.
She made an excuse about being very busy and
said, "I'll try to give you a call soon, I have to
go"... and hung up...
but... he never got a call back.
Over the following months the man tried
desperately to understand what went wrong... and
what happened.
THE END
OK, I'm back.
Now, wasn't that a sweet story?
Heartwarming, huh?
I know, I should keep my day job, and not take
up writing romance novels...
Now, let's talk about that story.
That story is basically a MYTH.
And I'm not talking about FICTION here.
I'm talking about a story that rings true for a
great majority of men. A story that is timeless. A
story that resonates at a deep level because you
can IDENTIFY with it.
And why does this particular story resonate for
most men?
Because we've all been there in one way or
another... at one time or another... and many of
us have been there OFTEN in our lives.
Another thing that gives this particular story
a lot of power is the powerful negative emotions
that it stirs... as a result of the powerful
negative experiences that it reminds us of...
Stories and situations like this one really
FASCINATE me.
They fascinate me because I see them as an
opportunity to UNDERSTAND and SOLVE the puzzles
that they represent.
In this particular situation I think there is a
solution.
And it lies in understanding a secret that
women know, but MEN DON'T.
And that secret comes down to the reality that
if a woman isn't ATTRACTED to a man, all of his
attempts to confess his love, convince her to like
him, and court her BACKFIRE.
In other words, they not only DON'T WORK, they
actually make things WORSE.
The very things that a man does to try to make
a woman LIKE HIM, make her NOT like him.
They make her run.
All those great intentions and emotional
dedication actually cause the man feeling them to
do things that make her go away.
It sucks.
And I hope that by explaining the process of
how this happens, I'll help you to avoid this
painful situation in the future...
By the way, if you read that story and said to
yourself, "That's happened to ME!", then you might
want to go and check THIS out. It will help BIG
TIME:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/SexualCommunication/
THE "INSTANT EWWW"
I'm always fascinated by the idea that we
humans don't always understand the message that
we're communicating to others...
So often we think that just because we WANT to
communicate a message, that others are going to
NATURALLY understand what we're trying to say.
Have you ever seen a guy in a foreign car that
has wheels on it that cost more than the car
itself... with his stereo blasting... and a
muffler that somehow AMPLIFIES the raw sound of
the 4-cylinder motor...?
Have you ever thought to yourself, "I don't
think that car is communicating the message to
women that he thinks it is"...?
Yeah, I have too.
Well here's the deal:
If you do something to "let a woman know how
you feel"... but she isn't ATTRACTED to you, then
it IS going to backfire.
It's going to trigger a feeling that I like to
call the "Instant Ewww".
The "Instant Ewww" is just as powerful as the
physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION.
Once a woman feels it, YOU'RE DONE.
It's over.
It's like hammering a RAILROAD SPIKE into the
coffin.
Once a woman feels the "Instant Ewww", she will
start behaving differently.
vIn short, she'll disappear.
So where did I get the concept of the "Instant
Ewww"?
I got it from WOMEN.
I have actually heard SEVERAL women use the
word "Ewww" when describing how they felt about a
guy that was "confessing his love"... Of course,
these were guys that weren't loved in return.
So, what causes the "Instant Ewww"?
And why would a woman feel it towards a man who
was trying to be nice... a guy who was giving her
a gift or telling her how he feels?
Because if you think about it from HER
perspective, you'll realize that the moment you
do something to "confess", you have created a
TURNING POINT in the relationship.
Up until that point, you were harmless.
I mean, women always know how men feel.
She already knew you wanted her.
She knew it from the beginning.
But now that you've started pursuing her and
talking about how you feel, you've created a
NEGATIVE TENSION that is VERY uncomfortable.
You've triggered an emotion that is repulsive
to women. And it does repel them.
In summary...
You can't "make a woman like you" or "change
how she feels about you" by doing nice things for
her...
Doing "nice" things for a woman who isn't
attracted to you HURTS you. It backfires. Worse,
it creates the "Instant Ewww" feeling that makes
it so she'll NEVER like you.
Men make this mistake over and over again in
life because they're doing what MAKES SENSE to
them. They're doing it because they don't have an
understanding of ATTRACTION.
I mean, if you have a friend, and you like
them, and you want to make them like you more...
and you do some nice things for them, they will
probably like you more.
On the other hand...
If you have a woman that you "like" in a
romantic way and she doesn't "feel it" for you,
and you do something nice for her because you want
HER to like you more, it will BACKFIRE... and she
will not only NOT like you more, she will most
likely distance herself from you.
Guys think that they need to communicate when
they like a woman... as if that's part of the
necessary process of getting a girl.
In their minds, it goes like this:
Like her -> Tell her you like her -> She likes
you
Well remember... if you follow this pattern
yourself with women who aren't ATTRACTED to you,
then it's going to BACKFIRE.
If she's not into you, then it goes like THIS:
She thinks of you as a friend -> You tell her
you like her -> She gets the "Instant Ewwws" and
never wants to be around you again...

THE ANSWER
There are really TWO answers to this problem.
The first answer is what to do if you're in a
situation where you like a particular girl, but
you don't know if she likes you back.
DON'T GET HEAVY WITH HER.
Don't buy her a big gift and write a love
letter...
Don't send her ten dozen roses to her work with
a note that says, "From your secret admirer".
Don't call her three times a day.
And DON'T CONFESS YOUR LOVE for her.
If you want to know how she feels about you,
KISS HER (and use "The Kiss Test" that you learned
on my website and in my book).
As a rule of thumb, don't get heavier than HER.
Use SIGNALS from her to find out how she feels...
and if you don't know how to read and create those
signals, then LEARN.
Asking a woman if she's interested in you in a
romantic way or if you are "her type", will
actually DESTROY the chances that she'll like you.
Really.
The SECOND answer is: Don't get into this
particular situation in the FIRST PLACE. Avoid it
entirely.
And how does one do that?
One does that by creating ATTRACTION from the
beginning.
One does that by understanding the dynamics of
how and why women have the physical and emotional
response of ATTRACTION triggered.
One does that by knowing what you're doing FROM
THE BEGINNING.
And what's the best way to learn THAT skill?
I thought you'd never ask...
The very best way to learn how to make women
feel ATTRACTION for you is to get yourself a copy
of my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD Program.
I've spent several years now studying the ways
that men who are "naturals" communicate using
their words, voice tone, and body language that
makes them MAGNETIC to women.
And I'll tell you... it's not magic.
You don't have to be rich, handsome, or young.
And you don't have to be LUCKY.
What you DO have to do is LEARN.
It's a skill, and I honestly believe that ANY
man can learn it if he wants to.
But you're not likely to figure it out by
"trial and error". Many of the keys to making
women feel ATTRACTION aren't "obvious" at all.
In fact, many of them make no sense... and
they're the LAST thing you'd do in a particular
situation if you didn't know the SECRETS.
I'm telling you, this program will show you the
way. I guarantee that this program will INSTANTLY
change how you behave around women.
And, it will start getting you results
IMMDIATELY.
Go check out the details and some great free
samples here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries/
If you'd like an introduction to my basic
concepts, you should go and download a copy of my
online eBook "Double Your Dating". You can
download it right now and be reading it within a
few minutes. It's here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.

P.S. Want to watch some great free video clips and
learn about all of the different programs I've
created to help you learn how to meet and attract
women? Go here and take a look:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/Catalog/
iloahz
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
United States964 Posts
September 12 2010 23:25 GMT
#84
LOL i just love these girl blogs on tl. reading some of the replies are just gold.
hifriend
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
China7935 Posts
September 12 2010 23:42 GMT
#85
Wow you need to stop torturing yourself, and never talk to this girl again. That's obviously the only way you can get on with your life.
vlf
Profile Joined April 2010
Portugal170 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-09-13 00:03:08
September 13 2010 00:01 GMT
#86
Yeah bro, never take the easy way out! Acting like a lab rat and constantly going up against the electrified fence in a pointless exercise of repetition, disregarding previous experiences is obviously the solution.

:brofist:

And to the guy above with the gigantic wall of text(or should I say advertisement for a crock of shit), keep the spamming/advertisement restricted or just post a link if you really must.
çpç
hifriend
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
China7935 Posts
September 13 2010 00:09 GMT
#87
On September 13 2010 09:01 vlf wrote:
Yeah bro, never take the easy way out! Acting like a lab rat and constantly going up against the electrified fence in a pointless exercise of repetition, disregarding previous experiences is obviously the solution.

:brofist:

And to the guy above with the gigantic wall of text(or should I say advertisement for a crock of shit), keep the spamming/advertisement restricted or just post a link if you really must.

Actually, the labrat would learn. Pavlov's dog man. :D
MightyAtom
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Korea (South)1897 Posts
September 13 2010 00:27 GMT
#88
On September 11 2010 21:22 Lightwip wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 11 2010 20:27 baller wrote:
dont listen to all the haters man

believe in urself if u wait long enough and do everything she wants, she'll eventually see u for a great person and nice guy and u guys will be together 4ever

its meant to be keep the faith

Good one, you actually made me laugh.
He's right though.


He's actually fucking with the op. lol.

Listen, the main thing here isn't the girl, its you.
You've lost your sense of being a man because if you are experiencing such extreme emotions that you can't control, you've just lost sight of who you are.

Girls and women, in general, don't know what they want, and if you expect some girl to suddenly figure it out, they don't unless a lot of time and space go by.

But here is the thing, if you don't find yourself, where you can be alone and happy, then you're not even human, just a bunch of emotions wanting to have reciprocation, to be wanted in the same way, and the thing is, after all this time, this mentality has taken a life of its own. But you being ruled by these strong emotions for this chick ain't being you, cause you are who are you, a single individual given life by your parents and God. You are very significant, but yet you're living you life for some little bit of emotional freeback? Is her 'love' or is she more important than you?

But I 'll say this too, some women are just broken in the head. And sometimes, after a few years, they'll ring you back and say, they want to meet, they regret, blah, blah and you won't give a damn cause you'll have moved on, no matter how difficult because, you are just as significant as a life and a human being.

Its not a matter of being a man for you, or being in the friend zone or sticking with this for love. You need to realize that there is such a thing of a healthy equal relationship and that you need to have that self worth at least.

It's two complete people coming together to make a single good relationships, not two broken people hoping that they can just get through life together.
Administrator-I am the universe- Morihei Ueshiba
Lightwip
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States5497 Posts
September 13 2010 00:38 GMT
#89
On September 13 2010 09:27 MightyAtom wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 11 2010 21:22 Lightwip wrote:
On September 11 2010 20:27 baller wrote:
dont listen to all the haters man

believe in urself if u wait long enough and do everything she wants, she'll eventually see u for a great person and nice guy and u guys will be together 4ever

its meant to be keep the faith

Good one, you actually made me laugh.
He's right though.


He's actually fucking with the op. lol.

I meant that with the fact that he's probably using sarcasm.
If you are not Bisu, chances are I hate you.
_romantic
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States455 Posts
September 13 2010 00:47 GMT
#90
tl;dr

girl makes life sad for you. you love girl.

tell girl you love her. tell girl, look, i get hurt a lot. tell girl that you gotta move on. done.
Jaedong beats other players. Bisu beats other players, in PL. Flash beats Starcraft.
xalo
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Peru80 Posts
September 13 2010 02:09 GMT
#91
i was on a similar situation just a few months back it lasted almost 10 months - 1 year.. in my case the best solution for me was to stop being her friend, we both depended on each other and i liked that because i liked her a lot but i realized that i was just living a lie..
You will learn a lot from this experience, i did and i feel that i grew up thanks to this.
I used to think the same as you about this situation, that i should man up and try to be her friend but now i think about it and i guess i didnt have the balls back then to break the friendship because i had this little hope that she would change her mind some day.
that was a really intense relationship but it wasnt good neither for me or her now im feeling so freaking good and calmed and re doing my life.
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32082 Posts
September 13 2010 13:36 GMT
#92
I've got news for you: The girl is still only friends with you because you'll kill her and wear her around like a jacket after your skin her for leaving you. You're a psycho. And you're not in love. Lordy
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
Happy.fairytail
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States327 Posts
September 13 2010 13:40 GMT
#93
Don't be too hard on yourself OP -- it's clear that she doesn't love you, not even half as much as you do for her. And don't be afraid OP -- you're a good guy, so (1) you don't need friends like that, whether it's a girl or guy and (2) you can find much better girls who will love you for who you are.

+ Show Spoiler +
Source: I've had a very similar story to you, best friends for 4+ years, had feelings for a long time but learned to cope somewhat during all the constant flirting, confessions and rejections (man that sucked). Luckily she moved across the country, and I moved on. I eventually found a girl who loves me as much as I love her, and I can't emphasize enough to you how different a relationship is when both parties selfessly love each other.
ArbAttack
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Canada198 Posts
September 13 2010 17:00 GMT
#94
This has probably been said 30 times in this thread, but just to add emphasis,

Dude, grow some major fucking testicles, please. If some chick is moving through multiple boyfriends in YOUR apartment (probably having awesome sex in the process), then...

MOVE. THE. FUCK. ON.

Cambium
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
United States16368 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-09-13 17:17:39
September 13 2010 17:16 GMT
#95
On September 13 2010 22:36 Hawk wrote:
I've got news for you: The girl is still only friends with you because you'll kill her and wear her around like a jacket after your skin her for leaving you. You're a psycho. And you're not in love. Lordy


Out of all of your blunt and ill-mannered posts, I find this one extremely appropriate.

OP: you need to move on, seriously.
When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
Trizz
Profile Joined June 2010
Netherlands1318 Posts
September 13 2010 17:45 GMT
#96
never stop trying man
nope
krndandaman
Profile Joined August 2009
Mozambique16569 Posts
September 13 2010 20:09 GMT
#97
--- Nuked ---
ZERG_RUSSIAN
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
10417 Posts
September 13 2010 22:53 GMT
#98
Fuck ten other women and see if you still care
I'm on GOLD CHAIN
Rozza
Profile Joined August 2010
United Kingdom45 Posts
September 16 2010 05:34 GMT
#99
love is a two way thing bro, you're just infatuated.

I do understand,

but you need really to man up

Hit the gym, get into a new sport, spend some ''man time'' with your friends

turn the leaf man
; _ ;
Otakusan
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States59 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-09-16 07:14:50
September 16 2010 07:11 GMT
#100
I can post another wall of text up here offering real advice, as a guy who's gone through such a stage in life and grew out of it... but it might be faster if you just search up David DeAngelo's "Double Your Dating" and read it. Another one I found pretty good was "The Ex^2 System." Don't take in all of it, but the general idea is this:

Don't be a pussy.

In your case, it might already be a lost cause. You might stand a glimpse of a chance if you just simply ignore her until she can't stand it anymore. Also, make her believe you're dating another girl while you're ignoring her completely. It would be best if you can actually date another girl, but it's not necessary. I don't want to explain why this might work... you need to read the books (ebooks, free, find them) to understand.

And remember this - it doesn't matter how attracted you are to her. It only matters how attracted she is to you.
Read that 500 times.
Get that in your head.
Be attractive.
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