EPTGirls, love and friendship - Page 5
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Hypnosis
United States2061 Posts
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Metalwing
Turkey1038 Posts
2- Your only mistake is to go to her every single time she calls you and get used so much. 3- You suck, because even in this situation, you think that you can't live without her. Admit it, you CAN. I've been through the same process as well, but mine was not 2 years, it was 2 months. And now, i got over it and moved on with my life (well, there were no single girl who liked me, but that girl didn't like me as well). 4- Reason for every single fight between you two is she tries to use the most out of you. | ||
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Pineapple
New Zealand126 Posts
A Mistake That "Turns Women Off" INSTANTLY I'd like to tell you a story... It's a story that you might find strangely familiar. Don't be alarmed. Once upon a time, there was a man who was very attracted to a particular woman. At first, she was just another attractive woman... but the more he got to know her, the more he began to feel attracted to her... and the more time he spent with her, the more that attraction grew into a deep emotional attachment and affection for her. But, there was one problem. As his emotional attachment grew stronger and stronger, he also grew more and more insecure. Why? Because he couldn't tell whether or not she felt the same way towards him. Sometimes, she would say things like, "You are so important to me" and "I'm glad that you're in my life"... but nothing ever progressed past the "friendship" stage. There was an occasional hug, an occasional kiss on the cheek from her... and once, she even held his hand for a long time while he talked about an emotional issue. But, something was wrong with the picture. She just wasn't acting like a woman that was "falling in love". She was acting like a friend. The insecurity that he felt became a spiral that amplified itself... and the more insecure he became, the more afraid he grew of "screwing things up" by kissing her or asking her to be his girlfriend. Plus, the more insecure he became, the less time she seemed to want to spend with him. After spending many days and nights obsessing over this girl, the man finally arrived at the conclusion that, if she only knew how HE FELT, she would feel the same way. So, he made a bold move. He TOLD HER how he felt. He confessed that he was in love and that he would do anything to be with her. She looked at him with compassion in her eyes and said, "Thank you... I really mean that... but I don't want to mess up our friendship... you're too important to me...." This only confused the man more. He didn't know how to take it... Did it mean that she really loved him too, but that she was afraid of something? Did it mean that she wasn't ready for a long term relationship? Did it mean that she didn't love him, but that she was trying to give him a hint? Did it mean that he hadn't tried hard enough? Did it mean that he needed to put everything on the line and REALLY let her know how he felt? He finally decided that he couldn't go on like this anymore... he had to be with her. He had to make sure that she knew just how much he wanted to be with her... so, he took a big step - He bought her a symbolic gift and wrote her a long, long letter... again confessing his feelings. And then, the unthinkable happened. She didn't reply. He called her three times a day for almost a week before reaching her. She made an excuse about being very busy and said, "I'll try to give you a call soon, I have to go"... and hung up... but... he never got a call back. Over the following months the man tried desperately to understand what went wrong... and what happened. THE END OK, I'm back. Now, wasn't that a sweet story? Heartwarming, huh? I know, I should keep my day job, and not take up writing romance novels... Now, let's talk about that story. That story is basically a MYTH. And I'm not talking about FICTION here. I'm talking about a story that rings true for a great majority of men. A story that is timeless. A story that resonates at a deep level because you can IDENTIFY with it. And why does this particular story resonate for most men? Because we've all been there in one way or another... at one time or another... and many of us have been there OFTEN in our lives. Another thing that gives this particular story a lot of power is the powerful negative emotions that it stirs... as a result of the powerful negative experiences that it reminds us of... Stories and situations like this one really FASCINATE me. They fascinate me because I see them as an opportunity to UNDERSTAND and SOLVE the puzzles that they represent. In this particular situation I think there is a solution. And it lies in understanding a secret that women know, but MEN DON'T. And that secret comes down to the reality that if a woman isn't ATTRACTED to a man, all of his attempts to confess his love, convince her to like him, and court her BACKFIRE. In other words, they not only DON'T WORK, they actually make things WORSE. The very things that a man does to try to make a woman LIKE HIM, make her NOT like him. They make her run. All those great intentions and emotional dedication actually cause the man feeling them to do things that make her go away. It sucks. And I hope that by explaining the process of how this happens, I'll help you to avoid this painful situation in the future... By the way, if you read that story and said to yourself, "That's happened to ME!", then you might want to go and check THIS out. It will help BIG TIME: http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/SexualCommunication/ THE "INSTANT EWWW" I'm always fascinated by the idea that we humans don't always understand the message that we're communicating to others... So often we think that just because we WANT to communicate a message, that others are going to NATURALLY understand what we're trying to say. Have you ever seen a guy in a foreign car that has wheels on it that cost more than the car itself... with his stereo blasting... and a muffler that somehow AMPLIFIES the raw sound of the 4-cylinder motor...? Have you ever thought to yourself, "I don't think that car is communicating the message to women that he thinks it is"...? Yeah, I have too. Well here's the deal: If you do something to "let a woman know how you feel"... but she isn't ATTRACTED to you, then it IS going to backfire. It's going to trigger a feeling that I like to call the "Instant Ewww". The "Instant Ewww" is just as powerful as the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION. Once a woman feels it, YOU'RE DONE. It's over. It's like hammering a RAILROAD SPIKE into the coffin. Once a woman feels the "Instant Ewww", she will start behaving differently. vIn short, she'll disappear. So where did I get the concept of the "Instant Ewww"? I got it from WOMEN. I have actually heard SEVERAL women use the word "Ewww" when describing how they felt about a guy that was "confessing his love"... Of course, these were guys that weren't loved in return. So, what causes the "Instant Ewww"? And why would a woman feel it towards a man who was trying to be nice... a guy who was giving her a gift or telling her how he feels? Because if you think about it from HER perspective, you'll realize that the moment you do something to "confess", you have created a TURNING POINT in the relationship. Up until that point, you were harmless. I mean, women always know how men feel. She already knew you wanted her. She knew it from the beginning. But now that you've started pursuing her and talking about how you feel, you've created a NEGATIVE TENSION that is VERY uncomfortable. You've triggered an emotion that is repulsive to women. And it does repel them. In summary... You can't "make a woman like you" or "change how she feels about you" by doing nice things for her... Doing "nice" things for a woman who isn't attracted to you HURTS you. It backfires. Worse, it creates the "Instant Ewww" feeling that makes it so she'll NEVER like you. Men make this mistake over and over again in life because they're doing what MAKES SENSE to them. They're doing it because they don't have an understanding of ATTRACTION. I mean, if you have a friend, and you like them, and you want to make them like you more... and you do some nice things for them, they will probably like you more. On the other hand... If you have a woman that you "like" in a romantic way and she doesn't "feel it" for you, and you do something nice for her because you want HER to like you more, it will BACKFIRE... and she will not only NOT like you more, she will most likely distance herself from you. Guys think that they need to communicate when they like a woman... as if that's part of the necessary process of getting a girl. In their minds, it goes like this: Like her -> Tell her you like her -> She likes you Well remember... if you follow this pattern yourself with women who aren't ATTRACTED to you, then it's going to BACKFIRE. If she's not into you, then it goes like THIS: She thinks of you as a friend -> You tell her you like her -> She gets the "Instant Ewwws" and never wants to be around you again... THE ANSWER There are really TWO answers to this problem. The first answer is what to do if you're in a situation where you like a particular girl, but you don't know if she likes you back. DON'T GET HEAVY WITH HER. Don't buy her a big gift and write a love letter... Don't send her ten dozen roses to her work with a note that says, "From your secret admirer". Don't call her three times a day. And DON'T CONFESS YOUR LOVE for her. If you want to know how she feels about you, KISS HER (and use "The Kiss Test" that you learned on my website and in my book). As a rule of thumb, don't get heavier than HER. Use SIGNALS from her to find out how she feels... and if you don't know how to read and create those signals, then LEARN. Asking a woman if she's interested in you in a romantic way or if you are "her type", will actually DESTROY the chances that she'll like you. Really. The SECOND answer is: Don't get into this particular situation in the FIRST PLACE. Avoid it entirely. And how does one do that? One does that by creating ATTRACTION from the beginning. One does that by understanding the dynamics of how and why women have the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION triggered. One does that by knowing what you're doing FROM THE BEGINNING. And what's the best way to learn THAT skill? I thought you'd never ask... The very best way to learn how to make women feel ATTRACTION for you is to get yourself a copy of my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD Program. I've spent several years now studying the ways that men who are "naturals" communicate using their words, voice tone, and body language that makes them MAGNETIC to women. And I'll tell you... it's not magic. You don't have to be rich, handsome, or young. And you don't have to be LUCKY. What you DO have to do is LEARN. It's a skill, and I honestly believe that ANY man can learn it if he wants to. But you're not likely to figure it out by "trial and error". Many of the keys to making women feel ATTRACTION aren't "obvious" at all. In fact, many of them make no sense... and they're the LAST thing you'd do in a particular situation if you didn't know the SECRETS. I'm telling you, this program will show you the way. I guarantee that this program will INSTANTLY change how you behave around women. And, it will start getting you results IMMDIATELY. Go check out the details and some great free samples here: http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries/ If you'd like an introduction to my basic concepts, you should go and download a copy of my online eBook "Double Your Dating". You can download it right now and be reading it within a few minutes. It's here: http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/ And I'll talk to you again soon. Your Friend, David D. P.S. Want to watch some great free video clips and learn about all of the different programs I've created to help you learn how to meet and attract women? Go here and take a look: http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/Catalog/ | ||
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iloahz
United States964 Posts
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hifriend
China7935 Posts
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vlf
Portugal170 Posts
:brofist: And to the guy above with the gigantic wall of text(or should I say advertisement for a crock of shit), keep the spamming/advertisement restricted or just post a link if you really must. | ||
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hifriend
China7935 Posts
On September 13 2010 09:01 vlf wrote: Yeah bro, never take the easy way out! Acting like a lab rat and constantly going up against the electrified fence in a pointless exercise of repetition, disregarding previous experiences is obviously the solution. :brofist: And to the guy above with the gigantic wall of text(or should I say advertisement for a crock of shit), keep the spamming/advertisement restricted or just post a link if you really must. Actually, the labrat would learn. Pavlov's dog man. :D | ||
MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On September 11 2010 21:22 Lightwip wrote: Good one, you actually made me laugh. He's right though. He's actually fucking with the op. lol. Listen, the main thing here isn't the girl, its you. You've lost your sense of being a man because if you are experiencing such extreme emotions that you can't control, you've just lost sight of who you are. Girls and women, in general, don't know what they want, and if you expect some girl to suddenly figure it out, they don't unless a lot of time and space go by. But here is the thing, if you don't find yourself, where you can be alone and happy, then you're not even human, just a bunch of emotions wanting to have reciprocation, to be wanted in the same way, and the thing is, after all this time, this mentality has taken a life of its own. But you being ruled by these strong emotions for this chick ain't being you, cause you are who are you, a single individual given life by your parents and God. You are very significant, but yet you're living you life for some little bit of emotional freeback? Is her 'love' or is she more important than you? But I 'll say this too, some women are just broken in the head. And sometimes, after a few years, they'll ring you back and say, they want to meet, they regret, blah, blah and you won't give a damn cause you'll have moved on, no matter how difficult because, you are just as significant as a life and a human being. Its not a matter of being a man for you, or being in the friend zone or sticking with this for love. You need to realize that there is such a thing of a healthy equal relationship and that you need to have that self worth at least. It's two complete people coming together to make a single good relationships, not two broken people hoping that they can just get through life together. | ||
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Lightwip
United States5497 Posts
On September 13 2010 09:27 MightyAtom wrote: He's actually fucking with the op. lol. I meant that with the fact that he's probably using sarcasm. | ||
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_romantic
United States455 Posts
girl makes life sad for you. you love girl. tell girl you love her. tell girl, look, i get hurt a lot. tell girl that you gotta move on. done. | ||
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xalo
Peru80 Posts
You will learn a lot from this experience, i did and i feel that i grew up thanks to this. I used to think the same as you about this situation, that i should man up and try to be her friend but now i think about it and i guess i didnt have the balls back then to break the friendship because i had this little hope that she would change her mind some day. that was a really intense relationship but it wasnt good neither for me or her now im feeling so freaking good and calmed and re doing my life. | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32044 Posts
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Happy.fairytail
United States327 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + Source: I've had a very similar story to you, best friends for 4+ years, had feelings for a long time but learned to cope somewhat during all the constant flirting, confessions and rejections (man that sucked). Luckily she moved across the country, and I moved on. I eventually found a girl who loves me as much as I love her, and I can't emphasize enough to you how different a relationship is when both parties selfessly love each other. | ||
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ArbAttack
Canada198 Posts
Dude, grow some major fucking testicles, please. If some chick is moving through multiple boyfriends in YOUR apartment (probably having awesome sex in the process), then... MOVE. THE. FUCK. ON. | ||
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Cambium
United States16368 Posts
On September 13 2010 22:36 Hawk wrote: I've got news for you: The girl is still only friends with you because you'll kill her and wear her around like a jacket after your skin her for leaving you. You're a psycho. And you're not in love. Lordy Out of all of your blunt and ill-mannered posts, I find this one extremely appropriate. OP: you need to move on, seriously. | ||
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Trizz
Netherlands1318 Posts
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krndandaman
Mozambique16569 Posts
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ZERG_RUSSIAN
10417 Posts
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Rozza
United Kingdom45 Posts
I do understand, but you need really to man up Hit the gym, get into a new sport, spend some ''man time'' with your friends turn the leaf man | ||
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Otakusan
United States59 Posts
Don't be a pussy. In your case, it might already be a lost cause. You might stand a glimpse of a chance if you just simply ignore her until she can't stand it anymore. Also, make her believe you're dating another girl while you're ignoring her completely. It would be best if you can actually date another girl, but it's not necessary. I don't want to explain why this might work... you need to read the books (ebooks, free, find them) to understand. And remember this - it doesn't matter how attracted you are to her. It only matters how attracted she is to you. Read that 500 times. Get that in your head. Be attractive. | ||
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