Might be a wall of text, but just reply to the forum topic if you're too lazy to read on.
TLDR; I have no motivation in any individual activity in life, and none of the common motivators work for me. I don't care about money, I don't care about being good at something. Yet, despite my apathy for everything, I'm not content with life. I feel like I'm missing out by not having crazy goals or dreams, and this is a big problem to me.
I simply don't have the energy to do anything fun or productive, no matter how much I love it and no matter how much I want to. After a days events, I return home to, for example, open up SC2 with the mindset of "This will be fun", but as soon as I'm ready to hit the Find Match button, I'm already mentally drained.
This has nothing to do with "lol obviously SC2 isn't as exciting as brood war"--My brood war experience was limited to watching starleagues and playing custom games. This has nothing to do with balance--I play Zerg, but still enjoy my race despite the never ending debate on the state of the game. I am just drained, and Starcraft was only the example. This effects my whole life.
Eating effects how much energy you have, but I'm well fed usually. Stress effects your energy, and there sure is plenty of that in my life, but it doesn't seem like it should be as draining as it is.
For those curious, here is an average day in my shoes, schedule-wise. Currently this is Monday through Thursday, but changes every few months.
8AM, travel to school, arriving a little early to be safe. 10AM, class starts. 12PM or 1PM (depending on the day), class ends, but I have to stick around until 3PM because of bus schedules anyway. 3PM to 4:30PM travel home, assuming no delays.
That makes up the majority of my responsibilities during the day. I require at least 7 hours of sleep (of which I spend at least 3 hours of looking at the ceiling,) and now, with GOMTV, I try to wake up at 4AM to prepare for school and spend 5-8AM watching live matches. Meaning, on a school night, I go to sleep around 9PM (extremely early for the typical gamer.) So between responsibilities, sleep and GOMTV, I have 4.5 hours to eat food and either work on homework or otherwise relax.
4.5 hours (+GOMTV) is a lot of free time-- some people like are lucky in this economy to have the luxury of not working a job on top of school, and to even be able to claim they have free time. I just don't feel like playing the game that I love and adore during that time, though, and I don't know why.
As an art student, I have plenty of homework and personal work I am procrastinating. I force myself through the mind-numbing homework, knowing that I'm simply wasting tuition if I don't do it. For personal work (a website to call my own, a number of graphic design ideas I've sketched and drafted, etc) I have trouble motivating myself without something similar to homework, such as "this is money wasted". The same thing is happening to me for Starcraft- at the end of the day all I want to do is watch something, not be actively playing. Similarly, I love looking at another persons art and critiquing more than I do making my own art.
This motion of being more interested in someone else than in myself carries over in almost every aspect of my life-- I'm more interested in listening to someone with their problems and trying to help them out than I am to getting help for my own problems (of which I have many of.)
If it were my goal to be a critic, maybe I'd be on to something, but I feel like I'm missing the "grand motivation" that drives everyone in the world. Some people are motivated to do things, like school, "just to get it over with" or "for all the money you'll be making in the future," but those just don't work for me. On the topic of Starcraft, some suggest "just play for fun" as motivation, the word "fun" defined as either being good at the game, messing around just for laughs, or otherwise, but this motivation doesn't work for me either. I have fun with Starcraft-- I love Starcraft, but somehow that isn't enough.
Sometimes I wonder if I'd have more energy for Starcraft if I cut out GOMTV (previously D9D, other featured streams, etc) but then I feel I'll find myself with even less motivation to play. Similarly, if I cut out school or cut out personal art projects, maybe I'd have more motivation to focus on the one remaining. Once again, though, I feel one can't exist without the other.
In the meantime, I spend those 4.5 hours chatting or browsing forums. It's mind-numbing, especially given the quality of reading material at times, but it's all I have the energy to do.
It sounds like you're not sleeping or exercising sufficiently, and therefore you feel dead all the time.
I recommend taking a complete break from Starcraft (and watching Starcraft) as it sounds like it's become a chore. Go outside, talk to people, move around so that your muscles feel tired at the end of the day.
You'd probably do well to look at lots of other people's artwork, until you feel the compulsion to create art again yourself.
but really, it just sounds like your depressed. Anything that really has the lack of motivation, is a sign of depression. It could be weather based, or a chemical imbalance brought on from anything, from a traumatic experience to your subconscious dealing with something you may or may not know is going on.
But on the advice part, it's tough to tell YOU what to do, as people can really only say what has worked for them before.
When I was younger I was extremely depressed, and I got better by just going outside, laying in the grass. watching the clouds, things like that.
Now-adays I go for a drive, or go somewhere to be alone and just enjoy the nature and all of its miraculous beauty. that helps me at least.
For others, exercise has been said to help, sunlight, maybe you're not eating healthy enough. It's tough to say what to do, but you need to figure that out. Maybe talk to a doctor, or your parents at least.
For others, exercise has been said to help, sunlight, maybe you're not eating healthy enough. It's tough to say what to do, but you need to figure that out. Maybe talk to a doctor, or your parents at least.
this is what helps me. When anything shitty happens I just go for a hard run or workout. like after losing in wcg I'd always just go for a flatout 2 mile sprint on the highschool track near my house.
I remember after losing to Inka I ran 2 miles in under 12 minutes, angry running LOL. but it really worked cuz I'd come back and feel so much better.
Heh, I feel like you all probably went with the TLDR version (or nothing at all in Hidden_Motives case-- thanks for contributing), because a lot of that stuff I covered already. I eat relatively normal, I'm not extremely depressed, I dont treat Starcraft as a chore (I enjoy it very very much, just that its somehow not enough.)
I have a history with depression, but I don't know if I'm really depressed at this moment. In the past, even the recent past, sure, but right now I just wish I had 30-hour days so that I could take a nap between responsibilities and free time or something to rejuvenate my mind.
I schedule 7 hours a night to sleep, but often only sleep about 4 of it. Usually have racing thoughts of a song stuck in my head, to the point where my brain repeats these things for hours on end and, when I eventually snap out of it or realize what I'm doing, I look at the clock and 3 hours have passed.
Exercise is something I definitely need, but have, again, lacked the motivation to accomplish. When I was in school housing that had a gym downstairs, I worked out 2 days a week and lost about 50 pounds. When I moved back home due to money issues, I never picked any similar activities up and just gained it all back.
Certainly things could be done to improve my life. Exercise, see a doctor, etc etc, but I don't even have the motivation to help motivate myself, if that makes any sense. Truthfully, the only reason I'm posting this now is because I'm stuck at school for 3 hours after class waiting for the bus that will take me home, and I had nothing better to do.
EDIT: And fredd, that is something I can at least say that I've never done. You'd think somebody like me needs to bend the rules of society and find some thrilling idea like drugs or skydiving but.. nah.
lacking the motivation means you are depressed man! It's not the kind of depression that you get when you just want to kill yourself like the high school emo wristcutting fuck faces who complain because their daddy doesn't want to buy them a new $50k car. It's the kind that people keep to themselves, that goes almost unnoticed. It's a tiny factor in your brain that needs to change the thinking "why should i?" to "fuck it why not?!"
You can try doing something between 12-1 and 3 PM. I, too, often wait for buses that come around five even though my classes typically end around 3. During this time, I just go to the gym or sit in interesting classes (Modern Japanese History this term) and try to learn something for free.
Also, for the most part, I think it's your own mentality. To me, you sound pretty depressed, even though your life is somewhat normal for most people. Also, if you don't watch GOM live every night, you'd have 3-4 more hours everyday to do whatever you desire.
p.s., I think your 3h commute is pretty brutal. Buses always make me depressed
You need to be more social man. Living on campus is really important IMO. If you really can't afford it talk to your classmates a lot, go to campus parties on the weekend, etc. I know what you mean though about being too mentally drained after classes to play starcraft. I never play starcraft during school. That's why you need friends to talk to after a long day of classes/studying. Also, you shouldn't watch all these live starcraft events religiously you know? Whenever you have free time and one happens to be on watch it, but don't base your schedule around it. Working out is important too especially at the end of the day it helps to relieve stress. Hope this helps, good luck.
On September 10 2010 03:45 Nokarot wrote: Heh, I feel like you all probably went with the TLDR version (or nothing at all in Hidden_Motives case-- thanks for contributing), because a lot of that stuff I covered already. I eat relatively normal, I'm not extremely depressed, I dont treat Starcraft as a chore (I enjoy it very very much, just that its somehow not enough.)
I have a history with depression, but I don't know if I'm really depressed at this moment. In the past, even the recent past, sure, but right now I just wish I had 30-hour days so that I could take a nap between responsibilities and free time or something to rejuvenate my mind.
I schedule 7 hours a night to sleep, but often only sleep about 4 of it. Usually have racing thoughts of a song stuck in my head, to the point where my brain repeats these things for hours on end and, when I eventually snap out of it or realize what I'm doing, I look at the clock and 3 hours have passed.
Exercise is something I definitely need, but have, again, lacked the motivation to accomplish. When I was in school housing that had a gym downstairs, I worked out 2 days a week and lost about 50 pounds. When I moved back home due to money issues, I never picked any similar activities up and just gained it all back.
Certainly things could be done to improve my life. Exercise, see a doctor, etc etc, but I don't even have the motivation to help motivate myself, if that makes any sense. Truthfully, the only reason I'm posting this now is because I'm stuck at school for 3 hours after class waiting for the bus that will take me home, and I had nothing better to do.
EDIT: And fredd, that is something I can at least say that I've never done. You'd think somebody like me needs to bend the rules of society and find some thrilling idea like drugs or skydiving but.. nah.
I know the feeling, and I believe the others are right in pointing to depression as the primary source of your trouble. The problem is finding the source of the depression, since lack of motivation is merely another symptom of depression. It is tough to say, having never met you and just reading your blog, but there were a couple red flags that stood out in my mind.
First of all, have you considered that perhaps you are not doing what you'd like to be doing? You say you love talking about other people's problems and critiquing their art, but can't translate that love into making art yourself. It sounds like maybe you would enjoy working in a museum or taking psychology classes (just examples that popped into my mind). Become a psych major and then a therapist, it is their job to listen to other people's problems. Perhaps you should try doing activities like those, or any other random activity you can think of, so you can try to find things you can get worked up about.
It doesn't sound like you are really enjoying playing starcraft at all, imo. You should cut that out of your lifestyle temporarily and try to figure out what is going on with your motivation issues on a more fundamental level before diving back in. I know that I, for example, used to spend far too much time playing video games, and before long I realized that I was using it as a way to escape reality because I was depressed and feeling very similar to how you do now (i.e. no motivation, felt like I was just going through the motions for most daily activities). This is where discipline and self-control come in, as once you identify something as a problem you have to approach solving the problem in a responsible manner. In my case, I started by strictly limiting my video game times and started going to the gym regularly.
This wasn't easy at first, and I definitely felt like I lacked the motivation to commit to the gym, but once you stick with it for a few weeks it becomes part of your normal schedule, and you will find it wasn't a motivation problem at all, but a discipline problem. Now it feels weird if I don't get to the gym enough each week. I found that this simple plan made me feel much better about myself and I used that newfound confidence to start improving my life in many other different ways. I still found time to play video games that I loved, but I also began spending more time with friends, reading more books, learning guitar, and generally putting more effort into work/school. Each improvement built on the last and without sounding to much like a spiritualist whackjob, I really do think the key to solving depression is to break out of a negatively reinforcing cycle into a positively reinforcing cycle.
Anyway, the part you mentioned about your previous exercise experience sounds interesting. What gave you the motivation back then? Perhaps you were living with other people and just being around friends/socializing often gave you the motivation to continue your exercise. Perhaps you should consider finding a part-time job, making some dough, finding a friend or two, and splitting the rent a few ways. This might give you a sense of independence that may be enough to break the cycle of negativity/lack of motivation. Sorry for the Wall-o-Txt, but having had similar experiences, I thought I might be able to contribute something useful.
edit:
On September 10 2010 04:02 Cambium wrote: p.s., I think your 3h commute is pretty brutal. Buses always make me depressed
This guy may be on to something. There have been many studies done proving a link between overall happiness and commute times in various cities. That's why I take the metro. = )
TLDR; I have no motivation in any individual activity in life, and none of the common motivators work for me. I don't care about money, I don't care about being good at something. Yet, despite my apathy for everything, I'm not content with life. I feel like I'm missing out by not having crazy goals or dreams, and this is a big problem to me.
In the meantime, I spend those 4.5 hours chatting or browsing forums. It's mind-numbing, especially given the quality of reading material at times, but it's all I have the energy to do.
All right.
First off you say that you have no motivation in life. I don't believe there is any intrinsic meaning to life, as Carl Sagan would say it, we're just stardust. If you think the same way, then you probably don't believe that you were born with a purpose either.
I do have to point out that a cosmic view of things doesn't really affect you though. When you look around you, you don't see stardust, you see a computer, and a pen on your table.
This means that you can have some purpose from a human perspective. Most people are motivated by a sex drive most of all. They want to reproduce. Perhaps this is what you are missing in life. Maybe you should talk to girls, if you like one, talk to her, if you don't talk to other girls.
I don't think many teenagers are motivated by a huge desire to do something big that will change the world. They just want to have fun and get a good job for later in life. There's nothing wrong with this approach. But if it isn't enough, then find out what you like doing, and make a purpose out of that.
I have to say, that I share a lot of things in common with you. I don't have many of the symptoms that people who are depressed say they have in life. I do have fun theorycrafting games, and talking to friends and watching movies. But the happiness doesn't last, it's a temporal state of mind. Maybe it doesn't mean that we're depressed. Maybe it's just that we're bored.
And cut back on or get off of starcraft completely. You don't sound like you're having fun with it. I know the feeling though. This summer I browsed a lot of TL, even though it was boring. I think I browse less now.
Even when I'm saying all this, I feel like I may be in the same boat you are OP, so take everything I say with a grain of salt.
Writing this after having typed out the rest of the post. I'd like to point out in advance that I'm not trying to throw everyones suggestions away when I reply to everyones points. A lot of your guys' suggestions make a lot of sense, but my mind seems to not think "a lot" of sense is enough sometimes. I understand the concept of fixing ones life by being proactive in changing it for the better, one way or the other. That makes perfect sense. My problem is finding the motivation to change my life for the better, when it's easier to just keep going on as is. I hurt myself by doing the latter, but I can't seem to find the energy to do the former.
You need to be more social man. Living on campus is really important IMO. If you really can't afford it talk to your classmates a lot, go to campus parties on the weekend, etc. I know what you mean though about being too mentally drained after classes to play starcraft. I never play starcraft during school. That's why you need friends to talk to after a long day of classes/studying. Also, you shouldn't watch all these live starcraft events religiously you know? Whenever you have free time and one happens to be on watch it, but don't base your schedule around it. Working out is important too especially at the end of the day it helps to relieve stress. Hope this helps, good luck.
Unfortunately, the whole bus issue regarding my travel to and from school limits my social life in general. The bus runs from.. 5am-9am, and then 4pm-8pm or some such. Meaning, in short, that I can't stay out late unless I have a ride, and I usually cant meet someone in the afternoon unless I want to leave super early in the morning. What I really need is a car, but that's another tale for another day.
As previous mentioned, GOMTV is almost the highlight of my days sometimes. I love Starcraft, and I love watching amazing matches. I have absolutely no qualm with waking up in the morning to watch it (especially when I 'plan', though not always get, a relatively decent amount of sleep.) Someone else suggested that I just watch the VODs, but whats the difference between spending 3 hours watching something in the morning or 3 hours in the afternoon?
On September 10 2010 03:45 Nokarot wrote: Heh, I feel like you all probably went with the TLDR version (or nothing at all in Hidden_Motives case-- thanks for contributing), because a lot of that stuff I covered already. I eat relatively normal, I'm not extremely depressed, I dont treat Starcraft as a chore (I enjoy it very very much, just that its somehow not enough.)
I have a history with depression, but I don't know if I'm really depressed at this moment. In the past, even the recent past, sure, but right now I just wish I had 30-hour days so that I could take a nap between responsibilities and free time or something to rejuvenate my mind.
I schedule 7 hours a night to sleep, but often only sleep about 4 of it. Usually have racing thoughts of a song stuck in my head, to the point where my brain repeats these things for hours on end and, when I eventually snap out of it or realize what I'm doing, I look at the clock and 3 hours have passed.
Exercise is something I definitely need, but have, again, lacked the motivation to accomplish. When I was in school housing that had a gym downstairs, I worked out 2 days a week and lost about 50 pounds. When I moved back home due to money issues, I never picked any similar activities up and just gained it all back.
Certainly things could be done to improve my life. Exercise, see a doctor, etc etc, but I don't even have the motivation to help motivate myself, if that makes any sense. Truthfully, the only reason I'm posting this now is because I'm stuck at school for 3 hours after class waiting for the bus that will take me home, and I had nothing better to do.
EDIT: And fredd, that is something I can at least say that I've never done. You'd think somebody like me needs to bend the rules of society and find some thrilling idea like drugs or skydiving but.. nah.
I know the feeling, and I believe the others are right in pointing to depression as the primary source of your trouble. The problem is finding the source of the depression, since lack of motivation is merely another symptom of depression. It is tough to say, having never met you and just reading your blog, but there were a couple red flags that stood out in my mind.
First of all, have you considered that perhaps you are not doing what you'd like to be doing? You say you love talking about other people's problems and critiquing their art, but can't translate that love into making art yourself. It sounds like maybe you would enjoy working in a museum or taking psychology classes (just examples that popped into my mind). Become a psych major and then a therapist, it is their job to listen to other people's problems. Perhaps you should try doing activities like those, or any other random activity you can think of, so you can try to find things you can get worked up about.
It doesn't sound like you are really enjoying playing starcraft at all, imo. You should cut that out of your lifestyle temporarily and try to figure out what is going on with your motivation issues on a more fundamental level before diving back in. I know that I, for example, used to spend far too much time playing video games, and before long I realized that I was using it as a way to escape reality because I was depressed and feeling very similar to how you do now (i.e. no motivation, felt like I was just going through the motions for most daily activities). This is where discipline and self-control come in, as once you identify something as a problem you have to approach solving the problem in a responsible manner. In my case, I started by strictly limiting my video game times and started going to the gym regularly.
This wasn't easy at first, and I definitely felt like I lacked the motivation to commit to the gym, but once you stick with it for a few weeks it becomes part of your normal schedule, and you will find it wasn't a motivation problem at all, but a discipline problem. Now it feels weird if I don't get to the gym enough each week. I found that this simple plan made me feel much better about myself and I used that newfound confidence to start improving my life in many other different ways. I still found time to play video games that I loved, but I also began spending more time with friends, reading more books, learning guitar, and generally putting more effort into work/school. Each improvement built on the last and without sounding to much like a spiritualist whackjob, I really do think the key to solving depression is to break out of a negatively reinforcing cycle into a positively reinforcing cycle.
Anyway, the part you mentioned about your previous exercise experience sounds interesting. What gave you the motivation back then? Perhaps you were living with other people and just being around friends/socializing often gave you the motivation to continue your exercise. Perhaps you should consider finding a part-time job, making some dough, finding a friend or two, and splitting the rent a few ways. This might give you a sense of independence that may be enough to break the cycle of negativity/lack of motivation. Sorry for the Wall-o-Txt, but having had similar experiences, I thought I might be able to contribute something useful.
edit:
On September 10 2010 04:02 Cambium wrote: p.s., I think your 3h commute is pretty brutal. Buses always make me depressed
This guy may be on to something. There have been many studies done proving a link between overall happiness and commute times in various cities. That's why I take the metro. = )
Eh, I do like what I'm doing. I've made several brochures, posters and am currently working on a tourist book that I am so far extremely proud of. I may have overstated what I said earlier when I mentioned that I like to critique other people and help other people. While this is entirely true, it didn't necessarily mean that I despise my own work. When it comes to my own work, I simply lack the motivation to both do school work and work for myself, which somehow leads to me doing neither? (or rather, procrastinating schoolwork heavily) When it comes to becoming a museum person or a psychologist, I don't really know about that. I've been told that in the past by friends who say I'm a good listener, but I don't know. Doesn't call out to me as something to do in regards to employment.
And, I don't really know how else to say it, but I really do like playing Starcraft. I really really do, its extremely fun and competitive to me. I know with all this talk of depression or whatever that it might seem like its a burden, but I really do like it. I just don't find the energy for it very often, when I really wish I did.
I find your comment about the gym being discipline rather than motivation very interesting, and very true. To answer your question, when I lived in school housing for a year, it had a gym on the lower level of the apartment complex and it was very accessible. Back when I started, it was my first year of school and my first day in to starting what was hopefully a new and better life, and I thought I could go to lose a few pounds.
As CaucasianAsian said, at the time it was kind of a "fuck it, why not [exercise]?" instead of the "why should I?" that I face with a lot of life now. Maybe I do need to revert this somehow, but it's hard for a mind like mine to decide between "exercise and hope it helps" or "sit here and go through the motions of life like you've accepted it to be for the last few years." Most of the time its easier to just be lazy and pick the latter, but hopefully I can find a way to motivate myself to pick the former.
Also, I do take the metro The problem is that I have to walk 10 minutes to the nearest bus stop (arriving 10 minutes before so that I dont miss it), ride said bus for 30 minutes, wait for the metro for 15 minutes, and then ride it for 35 minutes, with hopefully no delays in between. Then, if I want to get to school early to make sure I don't get absences due to any metro delays, you add another 30 minutes on top of that.
On September 10 2010 05:28 Hidden_MotiveS wrote: + Show Spoiler +
On September 10 2010 03:13 Nokarot wrote:
TLDR; I have no motivation in any individual activity in life, and none of the common motivators work for me. I don't care about money, I don't care about being good at something. Yet, despite my apathy for everything, I'm not content with life. I feel like I'm missing out by not having crazy goals or dreams, and this is a big problem to me.
In the meantime, I spend those 4.5 hours chatting or browsing forums. It's mind-numbing, especially given the quality of reading material at times, but it's all I have the energy to do.
All right.
First off you say that you have no motivation in life. I don't believe there is any intrinsic meaning to life, as Carl Sagan would say it, we're just stardust. If you think the same way, then you probably don't believe that you were born with a purpose either.
I do have to point out that a cosmic view of things doesn't really affect you though. When you look around you, you don't see stardust, you see a computer, and a pen on your table.
This means that you can have some purpose from a human perspective. Most people are motivated by a sex drive most of all. They want to reproduce. Perhaps this is what you are missing in life. Maybe you should talk to girls, if you like one, talk to her, if you don't talk to other girls.
I don't think many teenagers are motivated by a huge desire to do something big that will change the world. They just want to have fun and get a good job for later in life. There's nothing wrong with this approach. But if it isn't enough, then find out what you like doing, and make a purpose out of that.
I have to say, that I share a lot of things in common with you. I don't have many of the symptoms that people who are depressed say they have in life. I do have fun theorycrafting games, and talking to friends and watching movies. But the happiness doesn't last, it's a temporal state of mind. Maybe it doesn't mean that we're depressed. Maybe it's just that we're bored.
And cut back on or get off of starcraft completely. You don't sound like you're having fun with it. I know the feeling though. This summer I browsed a lot of TL, even though it was boring. I think I browse less now.
Even when I'm saying all this, I feel like I may be in the same boat you are OP, so take everything I say with a grain of salt.
In regards to a sex-driven social life (in the bluntest terms-- I know that's not what you were saying exactly,) past relationships are actually a large part of my past history of depression. It's not a story that I really like to tell time and time again, because even thinking about it brings on a lot of emotions that have caused me ill effects. In truth, my history of depression goes back farther than I'd posted on this thread, but it was a much more severe thing, where I could spend days bedridden, without the energy to even eat or drink. That stuff was kind of crazy- something that's thankfully years behind me, but has nothing to do with my current issue, which is motivation.
Anyway, kind of changing topics there, but rest assured I'm not really in a position where I'm looking to hook up with anyone. I have plenty of female friends but nothing is sexually driven- we're just all artists I guess.
And yeah, I don't do what I do in order to make a giant impact in the world or anything. A lot of the art that I do is usually quite self-serving. Maybe if I find that purpose, as you say (such as, art for someone else) then I could have a little more fun with it. Going through the motions of school is what's killing me, though.
It sounds like you're mildly depressed. Or anxious. When I was both, I didn't really feel like super shit but I had zero energy to do anything.
Exercise helps. A lot. Try p90x, because it's a structured program that you can follow. And it will give you a lot more energy to do other things.
What makes you tired is not the activities you do it's the lack of activities that you do. Have you ever felt super tired when all of the sudden you see a friend and catch up with them. Or you catch your favourite tv show you forgot was on at this time? You suddenly feel a burst of energy. Those little things is what gives you motivation. Action comes before motivation.
Find a group of friends that you really trust, and have fun with. Go out drinking with them. You need to find the activities that give you oomph on a day to day basis. When I was in your shoes what I did was I tried to a bit of everything at first. I tried going to youth church groups, improv, night clubs, anime conventions, and all sorts of places I never would've imagined myself going to. Some places were shit. But some places were amazing. I've made some pretty amazing friends in places I never would've imagined, who share my interests and who never fail to make me rofl.
So just keep searching and trying out new things, places, hobbies etc. Also, get laid. Girls are awwwesome. Get a GF, or at least a best friend who is a girl, who will introduce you to all her cute friends.
EPT
