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I'm having a bit of a dilemma (which when worded like that seems like a bit of an understatement).
Sunday, not sure what time and you'll know why as you read on, my brother went to wal-mart to get some food as he was leaving the store and in the parking lot he saw what appeared to be some guy (mid 20's) hit his girlfriend. He approached the couple and said, "Hey man you're not hitting your girlfriend are you?" at which point he said something along the lines of, "mind your own fucking business". They then went on to exchange some words and then 2other guys got out of a car (friends of his, naturally). Then, for whatever reason, the girl went off and punched my brother in the back of the head. He turned around to confront her, but after he turned around the 3guys jumped on top of him threw him on the ground and went off to basically ground pound him. He said he pretty much blacked out, but came to all delirious and with what was a concussion as far as I could tell.
Now, here is my dilemma. He is telling me that he does not want to involve the cops at all. He absolutely refuses to give me a reason why he wouldn't go to the cops and then to wal-mart, which has parking lot security cameras, and go after these kids to press charges. He has a huge rash on his face from hitting the black top and then being kicked in the the parking lot. Which I think is enough in itself to file a police report, but like I said he does not want to pursue it at all. All the while I'm just thinking to myself. These fucks now think they can gang up on another guy and get away with it without consequence. Hell, they might have already gotten away with it before. On top of that I don't want him running the risk of running into that group again. My littler brother lives in that same town too so the thought crosses my mind of this happening to him.
I can go to the police station have them look into getting the tape and probably getting their license plate, but what can I do if my brother just denies it ever happening (which he claims he will do). All I can think is something had to of happened to where he doesn't want the footage to be seen that or his pride is standing in his way. He's my little brother, but he's bigger than me. Works out and what have you. He said the people that jumped him were "wiggers". I don't know what to make of the situation, but it makes me fucking furious to think that these fucks will get away with doing this if he decides to just sit back and do nothing about it.
So, should I just honor his wishes for me to drop it and let it die or should I do what I feel is right and get these fucks what they deserve for probably aggravated assault?
 
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Maybe he doesn't want the cops involved because your brother hit the guy first and it was caught on camera. Either that or the honor issue.
But I think you should do what you think is right (getting "these fucks what they deserve" ) 
Maybe the money he gets can pay for the expenses of bringing them to court. Not trying to be pessimistic, just something you gotta think about before litigating.
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I think you need to talk to your brother and convince him to do it. You shouldn't take action on your own because it's his experience and you shouldn't let it be.
Your brother knows exactly what happened. Perhaps there's some reason he doesn't want to go to the cops. Talking to him more is the first step.
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Get a group and kick the shit out of them? Really though the answer for violence is more violence until one side bitches out. Cops don't solve problems they make them worse, I'd rather take a beating or give one then call up the cops to take care of my business. Dudes a woman beater so obviously he needs a good swat.
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I've been grilling him about it since I found out yesterday. Well, not grilling, but trying to find out what possible reason he'd have for not wanting to press charges. I thought maybe he hit that chick in the face after she hit him, but he said he didn't. He also said she was the first to throw a punch and after that he was jumped. Said he got in as many shots as he could before he blacked out. My brother is 24 also incase anyone was wondering.
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On July 14 2010 06:00 SLTorak.Hobo wrote:
Get a group and kick the shit out of them? Really though the answer for violence is more violence until one side bitches out. Cops don't solve problems they make them worse, I'd rather take a beating or give one then call up the cops to take care of my business. Dudes a woman beater so obviously he needs a good swat.
Probably the worst advice to be taken seriously. Don't know who they are and don't know what they would of done to my brother if it had been somewhere secluded. For all I know they would of killed him. If he wasn't a bigger buy they might of killed him.
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Not to be an ass either but most people don't want to be rats, I don't know about most people on here but the majority of people I know fight their own battles and prefer it that way. Running to the cops gets you labled a rat and in most cases makes people want to punk you even more.
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Well, he doesn't live in the ghetto with street gangs. It's a small town with not too many unknown faces. Chances are they are kids that live around there.
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Let's figure out which is better for your brother and you:
Go to cops/court - your brother will get some punishment cuz he threw the first punch. those guys get some punishment for jumping your brother. you feel good about getting back at those guys.
Leave it - your brother doesn't get his vengeance but he also doesn't get some punishment. those guys also don't get punished. you feel angry at those guys.
forget about those guys at the moment and focus on your brother. he obviously values not getting involved in complicated situations over getting back at those guys. you, the opposite. if you change your view, then you both will be more satisfied with not going to the cops.
edit - option 3, hire some people to tear those guys up. hell yeah
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I don't live in a ghetto and ghettos aren't the only place where violence occurs, you say he is in a small town where people know each other thats all the more reason not to call the cops because like I said - you get labeled and once you are known for being a rat its all the more reason people will want to fuck with you. You should ask him why he doesn't want to go to the cops because there is good chance I am right  .
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On July 14 2010 06:03 SLTorak.Hobo wrote:
Not to be an ass either but most people don't want to be rats, I don't know about most people on here but the majority of people I know fight their own battles and prefer it that way. Running to the cops gets you labled a rat and in most cases makes people want to punk you even more.
Haha holy shit is this a joke? You in middle school or something? Go to the cops btw. Would be ridiculous if those punks received no punishment for this.
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Being a "rat" has nothing to do with it. He doesn't hangout with people like this. He isn't the type to go out pick fights and do shit where it would be bad for people to rat on him. Street justice is a very poor way of handling things. In my mind if these people get taken to court and/or jail it'll be a notice for others that are doing this. Do stuff like this and there will be consequences for your actions. Has nothing to do with being a rat it has to do with being practical and I really don't think saving some pride after getting beat down to almost being unconscious is very practical. Not only that, but the goddamn guy appears to be beating his gf/wife.
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Nope, its called the real world where most people have the balls to deal with their own problems.
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On July 14 2010 06:13 SLTorak.Hobo wrote:
Nope, its called the real world where most people have the balls to deal with their own problems.
OP said it was 3v1. Are you trollin me? lol
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You should read the troll thread, that being said you should read what I wrote too, I would of just got a couple friends and beat the shit out of them(or went down trying).
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Valhalla18444 Posts
both of you are goons, stop arguing and don't throw the word 'troll' around. this isn't your other forums where you can post willy-nilly
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I shouldn't of even typed anything up. I'm just raging pretty hard at the thought of my brother being beaten down by some fuck faces like that. I don't like divulging personal aspects of my life at random, usually, but I just think I wanted some things like... "Yeah, get the cops and fuck them.. fuck them good."
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On July 14 2010 06:27 tonight wrote:
I shouldn't of even typed anything up. I'm just raging pretty hard at the thought of my brother being beaten down by some fuck faces like that. I don't like divulging personal aspects of my life at random, usually, but I just think I wanted some things like... "Yeah, get the cops and fuck them.. fuck them good."
That's my opinion. Do it. You shouldn't really listen to your brother in this case, at least not if he's telling the truth.
*And please ignore that Torak Hobo guy...
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I wont argue or nothing, but honestly all the cops will do in most cases is slap them on the wrist unless they have an extensive record already. Especially since there is 3-4 of them its easy to make up a story about how your brother started it ect, unless there is cameras or eye witnesses I have heard of people having these types of cases backfire on them really easily or they drop the charges because its a waste of time. Good luck though.
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On July 14 2010 06:29 Shauni wrote:Show nested quote +On July 14 2010 06:27 tonight wrote:
I shouldn't of even typed anything up. I'm just raging pretty hard at the thought of my brother being beaten down by some fuck faces like that. I don't like divulging personal aspects of my life at random, usually, but I just think I wanted some things like... "Yeah, get the cops and fuck them.. fuck them good." That's my opinion. Do it. You shouldn't really listen to your brother in this case, at least not if he's telling the truth. *And please ignore that Torak Hobo guy...
I'm pretty passive and most people I know are. So, even if I wanted to rally a small weak army of pussies to fight for my brother's honor I probably couldn't, but thank you.
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United States11637 Posts
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On July 14 2010 06:01 tonight wrote:
I've been grilling him about it since I found out yesterday. Well, not grilling, but trying to find out what possible reason he'd have for not wanting to press charges. I thought maybe he hit that chick in the face after she hit him, but he said he didn't. He also said she was the first to throw a punch and after that he was jumped. Said he got in as many shots as he could before he blacked out. My brother is 24 also incase anyone was wondering.
Probably an honor thing.
Tell him to stop being selfish. Not reporting this shit and not having them face the consequences opens the window for this to happen to other people. If he has the proper opportunity to get these bastards, he should take it. There's no honor had in letting a group of asshats walk away like that.
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My advice is don't listen to sltorak.hobo, do what you feel is right. If you think your brother is mature enough to make his own decision then you should respect it. On the other hand you have every right to feel protective and want to press charges.
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On July 14 2010 06:30 SLTorak.Hobo wrote:
I wont argue or nothing, but honestly all the cops will do in most cases is slap them on the wrist unless they have an extensive record already. Especially since there is 3-4 of them its easy to make up a story about how your brother started it ect, unless there is cameras or eye witnesses I have heard of people having these types of cases backfire on them really easily or they drop the charges because its a waste of time. Good luck though.
read the OP, he states that there ARE cameras
tonight, just keep trying to convince your brother to go to the cops. There's no real reason not to unless he's hiding something about how it actually all went down.
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He's a grown man. Grown enough to where he knows the pros and cons of his choices, but I really want him to see for himself the negative effects of letting this get brushed aside. I guess I just wanted people to side with me after being annoyed by his lack of wanting to take this to the local police. I probably shouldn't wait too long before I make a decision one way or the other, but my big brother mentality just wants to be able to make this right.
Most likely I'll end up not going to the police by his request and just hoping this never happens again, but now I'll worry about it all the time with him and my other young brother.
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On July 14 2010 06:30 SLTorak.Hobo wrote:
I wont argue or nothing, but honestly all the cops will do in most cases is slap them on the wrist unless they have an extensive record already. Especially since there is 3-4 of them its easy to make up a story about how your brother started it ect, unless there is cameras or eye witnesses I have heard of people having these types of cases backfire on them really easily or they drop the charges because its a waste of time. Good luck though.
I'm sure you think you know everything but how bout you lay off the "cops suck" bullshit
these guys put their lives on the line every day to protect sniveling shits like you who dont appreciate ANYTHING they do. I hate the kind of people who dare say that they hate cops. officers are here to serve and protect, and you honestly think that 3 men will get away with assault and battery just because they band together? get real.
anyway, tonight I know what I'd do in your shoes. I'd think about what i'd want my brother to do for me.
go to the cops.
prayin for ya man
BTW tell your brother that he's a better man than most for even going over there in the first place. that's more than I would have done. GG
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Can you talk more about why exactly he doesn't want to press charges? Is he embarrassed he was assaulted? Does he fear he would become a target for further trouble from the guys who jumped him? Is it out of compassion?
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He won't tell me at all. At first he said something about not wanting the video to get out which seems very unlikely, but then it makes me think something else may have happened he doesn't want to be seen, but when he said that he was pretty fucked up seemed like he was buzzed or something (which I'm considering was partly due to a concussion) Then he said he just wanted to let it die and wouldn't say anything else about it. He was saying that he'd be extremely pissed off and was slightly aggressive in telling me to leave it alone. This was yesterday today he seemed mostly back to normal, but still would not give me a legit reason for not wanting to go to the police. Just said he wanted it to die.
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9933 Posts
i don't know how time-sensitive a report to the police is. if it's not an issue, the safest and most respectful option is to give him a day or two to mull over it, then approach him again.
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I agree with intrigue. I think if you let it rest for a couple of days, and then ask your brother, he might be a little more clear on the issue. If he doesn't want it, then he doesn't want it, and I wouldn't recommend doing something without his permission.
I'd probably just let it go. The dumbasses who did it will probably get theirs at one point or another if it becomes a recurring problem, which according to your brother, seems to be very likely considering their violent tendencies.
But ultimately, sorry about your brother. I'd be pretty fucking pissed too if my brother got beat up for no good reason.
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On July 14 2010 08:01 mOnion wrote:Show nested quote +On July 14 2010 06:30 SLTorak.Hobo wrote:
I wont argue or nothing, but honestly all the cops will do in most cases is slap them on the wrist unless they have an extensive record already. Especially since there is 3-4 of them its easy to make up a story about how your brother started it ect, unless there is cameras or eye witnesses I have heard of people having these types of cases backfire on them really easily or they drop the charges because its a waste of time. Good luck though. I'm sure you think you know everything but how bout you lay off the "cops suck" bullshit these guys put their lives on the line every day to protect sniveling shits like you who dont appreciate ANYTHING they do. I hate the kind of people who dare say that they hate cops. officers are here to serve and protect, and you honestly think that 3 men will get away with assault and battery just because they band together? get real. anyway, tonight I know what I'd do in your shoes. I'd think about what i'd want my brother to do for me. go to the cops. prayin for ya man BTW tell your brother that he's a better man than most for even going over there in the first place. that's more than I would have done. GG
Oh fuck off with your attitude, cops do some good and they do a lot of bad as well, don't cry to me about how I appreciate them before you even know your shit. I have had interactions with cops and have known innocent people that made a report and attempted to charge people only to have it come down to who to believe and in most cases it goes no where. Yes sometimes charges get laid but I am not sure what you have heard, one assault charge isn't going to send you to jail, at most you will get a bit of probation and maybe some community service/restraining order( unless like I said before you have an extensive record). That is reality sorry to break it to you. Story is everything if there is footage he is fine but you obviously are pretty ignorant to how a case like that is pursued.
EDIT: And no I am not saying his charges wouldn't go through, especially if there is footage but a lot of assault cases go no where or get dropped when there is no eye witnesses
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I would get a copy of the security tape if there is one, it might get deleted. Post on youtube too if it doesn't incriminate your bro.
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On July 14 2010 08:45 SLTorak.Hobo wrote:Show nested quote +On July 14 2010 08:01 mOnion wrote:On July 14 2010 06:30 SLTorak.Hobo wrote:
I wont argue or nothing, but honestly all the cops will do in most cases is slap them on the wrist unless they have an extensive record already. Especially since there is 3-4 of them its easy to make up a story about how your brother started it ect, unless there is cameras or eye witnesses I have heard of people having these types of cases backfire on them really easily or they drop the charges because its a waste of time. Good luck though. I'm sure you think you know everything but how bout you lay off the "cops suck" bullshit these guys put their lives on the line every day to protect sniveling shits like you who dont appreciate ANYTHING they do. I hate the kind of people who dare say that they hate cops. officers are here to serve and protect, and you honestly think that 3 men will get away with assault and battery just because they band together? get real. anyway, tonight I know what I'd do in your shoes. I'd think about what i'd want my brother to do for me. go to the cops. prayin for ya man BTW tell your brother that he's a better man than most for even going over there in the first place. that's more than I would have done. GG Oh fuck off with your attitude, cops do some good and they do a lot of bad as well, don't cry to me about how I appreciate them before you even know your shit. I have had interactions with cops and have known innocent people that made a report and attempted to charge people only to have it come down to who to believe and in most cases it goes no where. Yes sometimes charges get laid but I am not sure what you have heard, one assault charge isn't going to send you to jail, at most you will get a bit of probation and maybe some community service/restraining order( unless like I said before you have an extensive record). That is reality sorry to break it to you. Story is everything if there is footage he is fine but you obviously are pretty ignorant to how a case like that is pursued. EDIT: And no I am not saying his charges wouldn't go through, especially if there is footage but a lot of assault cases go no where or get dropped when there is no eye witnesses
take your twisted view of reality and get out of here. just because you think you have it all figured out doesn't make you any better than the rest of us, it just makes you depressing.
as if i'm the one with the attitude here. learn how to be a real human and don't give pessimistic pieces of advice to people dealing with serious issues.
you don't even know that assault isn't physical. how smart do you think you are?
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you should take your bro a doctor if he lost consciousness from head trauma.
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Who the hell said I was better then anyone? Or that I know everything concerning cops, I simply gave a view different then his own. Really if you don't like people having different views then you the internet isn't the right place for you, you just come off as a pretentious ass. Be a real human? His brother doesn't want him to press assault charges and I give a reason why that might be and I am being an asshole? Really grow the fuck up. Oh for future reference there is various kinds of assault.
An assault is the intentional application of force, directly or indirectly, to another person without that person's consent.
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On July 14 2010 09:13 radar14 wrote:
you should take your bro a doctor if he lost consciousness from head trauma.
He doesn't want to go because he doesn't have insurance, but he seems almost completely back to normal minus the nasty road rash on his face.
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16952 Posts
On July 14 2010 09:31 tonight wrote:Show nested quote +On July 14 2010 09:13 radar14 wrote:
you should take your bro a doctor if he lost consciousness from head trauma. He doesn't want to go because he doesn't have insurance, but he seems almost completely back to normal minus the nasty road rash on his face.
Is he covered under your parents' policy?
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Make sure the surveillance video backs up your story and go to the cops with it & photos of your brother's injuries (a doctor's evaluation of the injuries if you went to one, the police may be able to arrange one for evidence). Give them the names & addresses of the people involved (or where they hang out if you don't know their names), descriptions of their appearances if the videos don't have enough detail.
That's aggravated assault and an easy felony with video evidence, visible/documented injuries, and witnesses -- enough to put them behind bars.
Remember your bro is probably too scared to do any of this himself and probably just wants to forget the whole thing. But if his only crime was standing up for someone he thought was being abused then he doesn't deserve to live in a community with punks like these.
Your brother was courageous enough to get the shit kicked out of him. Reward him with justice, or at least sue for damages.
>> To the above cynicism about police integrity: Integrity improves when you offer them hard evidence and a clear case of right & wrong. Showing them photos of your brother's injuries could help bring them around also.
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On July 14 2010 07:26 boesthius wrote:Show nested quote +On July 14 2010 06:07 ieatkids5 wrote:
Let's figure out which is better for your brother and you:
Go to cops/court - your brother will get some punishment cuz he threw the first punch. those guys get some punishment for jumping your brother. you feel good about getting back at those guys.
Leave it - your brother doesn't get his vengeance but he also doesn't get some punishment. those guys also don't get punished. you feel angry at those guys.
forget about those guys at the moment and focus on your brother. he obviously values not getting involved in complicated situations over getting back at those guys. you, the opposite. if you change your view, then you both will be more satisfied with not going to the cops.
edit - option 3, hire some people to tear those guys up. hell yeah If you reread the op you'll see that the girl threw the first punch, so there's no reason for his brother to be punished at all =/.
oops! for some reason i kept thinking the entire time that his brother threw the first punch. well, now i don't see any reason for him not to go to the cops.
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
definitely do not act yet
keep grilling your brother and make him tell you the truth
if he continues with his bullshit, tell your brother you called the cops, then get a crafty friend of yours to call him pretending to be a cop saying he needs to come downtown to make a statement (and that no arrests will be made yet), and that they have video evidence of everything that happened
after that happens, he should tell you the truth and you will be able to make a much better assessment of the situation
if his story doesn't change he probably really is telling the truth and has his own reasons (as petty as they may be) for not pressing charges
in any case, remember a couple things: these wiggers beating ppl up in the parking lot already have horrible lives so it's probably not worth pursuing if your brother really doesn't want to.
also, if he's lying you might find something on that tape you don't want to see that will get him in deeper trouble
i would advise just letting it go, though, if i was in that situation myself i'm pretty positive i would not stop until i was sure i got the truth, even if that meant going to the police lol
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Yeah, I just really want to know what possible reason there could be for letting this shit go. He must have damaged his fucking brain or something to want to let this sort of thing go. I've seen him get worked up over nothing at all. Maybe he's just embarrassed, but I even so I can't understand that logic. I'm not going to act without knowing everything though out of respect for him being my brother. If it were some friend I would probably just go off and do it.
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I would talk to him about it regarding the fact that what they did cannot be tolerated and about the abuse, not about doing it for revenge. Like boes said, if he still won't budge there's nothing you can do. I feel awful sorry for your brother though, horrible thing to happen, especially when trying to stick up for someone else.
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On July 14 2010 10:29 tonight wrote:
Yeah, I just really want to know what possible reason there could be for letting this shit go. He must have damaged his fucking brain or something to want to let this sort of thing go. I've seen him get worked up over nothing at all. Maybe he's just embarrassed, but I even so I can't understand that logic. I'm not going to act without knowing everything though out of respect for him being my brother. If it were some friend I would probably just go off and do it.
He's probably scared they'll come after him if they know he went to the police.
And yeah, guys don't really like talking about how they got beat up.
Don't you ever watch Law and Order, man? Your blog is the show's total formula for stories.
I agree with Rek, get the facts straight before getting the police involved. And if you can see the surveillance video in advance (Walmart folks might be nice if they see your brother's injuries) that would help too.
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I'm just thinking... What if he meets those guys again? Will they beat him up? I doubt it'd be pretty.
I don't get how your brother would want to leave such a situation a possibility. Unless there's something fishy going on, there's no reason why the police shouldn't be involved. Safety is pretty important and that's where the cops are for.
Good luck and I hope you can make some progress, one way or the other.
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He's probably embarassed to tell anyone else he got beat up. This happens to many people and a reason why some refuse to tell the cops. I would make sure to call the cops and tell your brother its okay to feel that way. But you cannot let those guys go free. That would be serious injustice
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It sounds like he's definitely hiding something, as you seemed to have guessed. It sounds more likely that he got involved in some scuffle (maybe started by him) and thus doesn't want it (the case/tape) to be reviewed.
What Tazza said (the notion that was written about in an essay called "collateral damage"; that people are embarrassed, especially boys because of cultural notions, to own up to being physically overpowered etc.) would not occur to most people over this kind of fight, especially if, as your brother seems to claim, that the girl hit him in the back of the head and then he was curbstomped by several guys. Basic psychology and common sense would disagree to that. Unless he was motherfucking Bruce Lee and was disappointed that he didn't manage to kick all of the wiggers in their chests before they did him in, it would be more common to feel anger and desire revenge because he was betrayed by the girl he "helped" in his explanation, and less "shame" because he was overpowered by several men instead of just one.
While Rekrul's suggestion might be a bit harsh, definitely try to find out the truth without pushing too hard. And most importantly, don't go off by yourself and try to settle stuff for your brother, because you may actually end up getting him in trouble if he started it.
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On July 14 2010 09:31 tonight wrote:Show nested quote +On July 14 2010 09:13 radar14 wrote:
you should take your bro a doctor if he lost consciousness from head trauma. He doesn't want to go because he doesn't have insurance, but he seems almost completely back to normal minus the nasty road rash on his face.
However unlikely, he could have an epidural hematoma, which can present with a lucid interval following head trauma and rapidly deteriorate into coma and death. Remember Natasha Richardson? Any patient who has loss of consciousness following head trauma would be CT scanned at any ER in the nation.
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I have decided to not press the issue because he is very determined, for whatever reason, to let it die. Thanks to everyone even though I sort of regret even writing anything personal involving my brother without his knowledge, but oh well
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EPT
