If you don't want to read about some sad girlfriend-blog I guess you can stop read now.
I just got a text from my girlfriend. Or rather my ex-girlfriend. That's right, a text. She doesn't love me anymore. It isn't because she found another guy, it's just that I'm only a friend to her now. She said her feelings changed over a month ago. That means she didn't love me when we celebrated 16 months together. On the 11th of July it would have been 17 months.
I'm just so heartbroken right now. I feel like I'm going to vomit. I feel weak. I'm shivering like crazy. I feel... disgusting. Like it's something wrong with me.
I've liked girls and I've had girlfriends but this one was the first I've ever loved. I can't even type this... I'm constantly clearing the text only to start typing again. I can't put my thoughts in to words. I can't belive this, how quick things can change. We've been through so many bad things together, I mean really bad things. I thought we could survive everything. And now, during summer and we've had such a great time together, it's all over.
For almost 17 months I've had her by my side and now I'm alone. It's like a huge part of me is missing, like I will never be a whole person again. And I know there is a lot of girls out there and that these feelings probably will go over but...
The worst thing is that I've got nobody to talk to. I can't talk to her about it, she's with her family on vacation (and her family never liked me being with her). I can't talk to my friends about it, they are all working or on vacation and several other reasons. I don't want to be a burden.
The reason I put it up here is because Team Liquid in a way helped me get closer to this girl. I was going to write our story as my 1000th post on our 18 months anniversary. I guess I won't be doing that now..
Wait so ya'll are going out, and she just says one day "I don't love you anymore"? Is there some kind of backstory cause that sounds pretty weird. Anyways I feel for ya man.
Ouch, bro. That's tough to go through and deal with. Just wait it out and hopefully after a few days you'll feel better. I know you've probably heard this before but theres always more people out there that would appreciate you.
On July 09 2010 01:49 Megalisk wrote: Wait so ya'll are going out, and she just says one day "I don't love you anymore"? Is there some kind of backstory cause that sounds pretty weird. Anyways I feel for ya man.
She was probably just keeping him as a backup. Dating is like a job, you don't quit until you got a better one lined up.
On July 09 2010 01:49 Megalisk wrote: Wait so ya'll are going out, and she just says one day "I don't love you anymore"? Is there some kind of backstory cause that sounds pretty weird. Anyways I feel for ya man.
She was probably just keeping him as a backup. Dating is like a job, you don't quit until you got a better one lined up.
A girl doing that for 16 months? I could see that happening actually D:.
Man that really sucks. I hope that she isn't saying that to you cause she has found someone else. It also seems like her family could be pushing her to break up with you since they apparently don't like you. The only thing that helps these situations is time itself.
I wish I could offer you some advice, but there really isnt much I can say. Getting dumped by someone you love hurts so bad. Eventually you will start to feel better, and when you find someone else to love hopefully you will no longer feel the pain of the one you lost. You just gotta stay strong and wait it out.
I always feel required to ask the age of the OP when someone posts about girls. Also, I do find it a little clinging that you go off to celebrate every month. I do feel for you, but maybe that's just something I picked up on. I also have to assume you're both young considering she could only text you to tell you she "doesn't love you anymore".
Anyway, you'll get over it even though it sucks for a long while. When my gf and I broke up for 3-4months a few years ago I was pretty down about it. I also got pretty jealous which is a side of me I didn't even know I had. Try to just block out anything you're hearing from her friends and your friends about her.
So sad that a love once delighted Is no longer now so requited So go grab a drink And chug it and think And you'll feel that everything's righted. + Show Spoiler +
But yeah, it seriously sucks ... you just have to know you will get over it eventually even if it doesn't feel like it now. Just don't suicide run yourself into something.
But yeah, it seriously sucks ... you just have to know you will get over it eventually even if it doesn't feel like it now. Just don't suicide run yourself into something.
On July 09 2010 01:49 Megalisk wrote: Wait so ya'll are going out, and she just says one day "I don't love you anymore"? Is there some kind of backstory cause that sounds pretty weird. Anyways I feel for ya man.
Pretty much. She went on vacation a week ago with her family and we have called eachother and such, I just finished working when I got her text.
On July 09 2010 01:53 Cambium wrote: Find a couple of guys, grab a drink, tomorrow is another day.
Sure it sucks, but life goes on; you'll most likely find someone more suitable for you in the future.
Will do, there is a festival this weekend. I guess my plans to be sober is long gone.
On July 09 2010 02:01 Jibba wrote: It's another guy.
Put on some Air Supply, sulk for a bit and then get over it. Don't try and talk to her for a while.
On July 09 2010 02:05 kidd wrote: Man that really sucks. I hope that she isn't saying that to you cause she has found someone else. It also seems like her family could be pushing her to break up with you since they apparently don't like you. The only thing that helps these situations is time itself.
No it's not. I know it sounds naive but she's a jehovahs witness so she can't lie. And that's also the reason her family doesn't like us being together since I'm not a witness.
On July 09 2010 02:11 tonight wrote: I always feel required to ask the age of the OP when someone posts about girls. Also, I do find it a little clinging that you go off to celebrate every month. I do feel for you, but maybe that's just something I picked up on. I also have to assume you're both young considering she could only text you to tell you she "doesn't love you anymore".
Anyway, you'll get over it even though it sucks for a long while. When my gf and I broke up for 3-4months a few years ago I was pretty down about it. I also got pretty jealous which is a side of me I didn't even know I had. Try to just block out anything you're hearing from her friends and your friends about her.
I'm 20. Young, I know.
On July 09 2010 02:20 Saechiis wrote: The advertisment is spot on:
But yeah, it seriously sucks ... you just have to know you will get over it eventually even if it doesn't feel like it now. Just don't suicide run yourself into something.
Yeah celebrating monthly mile stones should end after month 2.
1-Month 2-Month 6or9-Month 1-Year
Then Yearly after that. --- But really to each their own. --- I like to listen to Death Cab for Cutie.
This lyric won't really help you in the moment, but reflect on it's meaning:
"There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade. And now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all".
The problem with that lyric is that, in my opinion, it is made from the stance of a mutual break-up...But the concept still remains, the girl slowly started losing interest...for whatever reason, and once that love fades enough, it will be as if it was never there.
---
You can do it man - just focus on making some positive adjustments in your life
Jehovah's witnesses are the scariest people... ever... (in my experience anyway)
OT: Be sad, rage, do whatever you can to let the feelings get out. Afterwards, cheer up and move on with life. TBH it sounds very suspicious that your GF just suddenly decided she didnt love you anymore... Any hints along the way?
I'm just so heartbroken right now. I feel like I'm going to vomit. I feel weak. I'm shivering like crazy. I feel... disgusting. Like it's something wrong with me.
things always feels the worst right after they happen.
5 years from now you might not even be able to remember her name, and you might not be able to feel a damn thing about the whole thing even if you wanted to.
Though doesn't it get you thinking? She is on holiday after all, but to each their own ofcourse. Did she ever talk to you about this earlier? Would be weird if she just did it out of the blue.
Anyway just try to get your mind of things, maybe dive into SC2 hardcore for a week or something. That's always a good way!
On July 09 2010 02:36 synapse wrote: Jehovah's witnesses are the scariest people... ever... (in my experience anyway)
OT: Be sad, rage, do whatever you can to let the feelings get out. Afterwards, cheer up and move on with life. TBH it sounds very suspicious that your GF just suddenly decided she didnt love you anymore... Any hints along the way?
Tell me about it. Her family could be crazy. Her religion was the only thing that really got in our way. The only thing I noticed is that she didn't say "i love you" as much as before.
On July 09 2010 02:49 pokeyAA wrote: Honestly, the way you typed about celebrating 16 months, 17 months, 18 months, made me think you were probably way more into her than she you.
On July 09 2010 02:50 Shauni wrote: Wait wh- your girlfriend is (was) a Jehovah's witness? Are you serious? What is she like...
She's like every other girl, when I first met her I didn't know she was a jehovah's witness until she told me after like 2 months. We knew eachother for.. like 4-5 months before we actually started dating. She played starcraft too, that's how we met!
You wil be alright soon though. Jerk off a fair bit, and just get into some new habits. You have a lot more free time now, don't use it to reminisce . Use it to kick ass at some cool shit, get involved in activities and show them your devastating mid game timing push .
I know a bunch of Jehova's Witnesses ( a ton live around me) and they're all pretty normal people to talk to. Although admittedly you can't talk to them about BGT or X Factor, which is a major reason to be friends with them imo.
Wait, your girlfriend played Starcraft? Wow, now I see why you're bummed...
You should just have fun or focus on something else. I can speak mediocre French and play the ukulele because of girl problems :p Just try and worry about something else.
Happened the same to me in March 2009, but she didn't admit it straight up. I didn't eat for 6 days. Smoked over a pack of cigarettes a day (I had quit smoking for one year). Almost comitted suicide. After 4 months without talking too much to each other she realized she made a terrible mistake. We are back together now and happy.
Been there in your position recently, it doesn't feel good.
I'm 3 weeks up in this mthrfckr and I still feel lonely sometimes, but yes, I've turned all of this bad into something good, I'm enjoying even more time with friends, and I got kind of serious with gym, and well, I just can only advise hang on there, it will all feel better soon enough.
THere was this time once, when I posted a similar blog, and someone said to me: "Just get ten times cooler, and shitload more badass, so she regrets ever leaving you."
I did that, and it's going pretty good. Good luck man.
On July 09 2010 02:50 Shauni wrote: Wait wh- your girlfriend is (was) a Jehovah's witness? Are you serious? What is she like...
You know, technically I am a Jehovah's Witness! My Mom believes in it and my Grandparents are super into it. That's probably where my purity, boyish innocence and unwavering moral standards come from.
There isn't much anyone can tell you OP. All the cliches are largely true. At that time I like going for pointless drives and actually taking baths. Anywhere that commits you to stay in one place for awhile by yourself so you can think about life. But that's just me!
Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hoes in the world. And then suddenly...she's not yo' ho no mo'.
Everyone here on TL is your bro, man, so chin up and enjoy life again as soon as you can! :D
On July 09 2010 03:44 Z3kk wrote: As a wise man once said,
Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hoes in the world. And then suddenly...she's not yo' ho no mo'.
HIMYM ;D
Sorry man, that sucks :/ Keep your head up and grind it out :< Tomorrow is a new day.
i almost thought that friend of mine who doesnt play starcraft and has never heard of teamliquid suddenly started a blog here. i heard almost the exact same story 20 hours ago, even the time frames are very similar. so... you're not alone in your grief : ) my friend also said he still loves his ex-gf but he also pronounced that he wanted to uphold his pride, man up and don't run after her like a weak little puppy.
so yeah.. i guess it's just waiting for them damned hormones to fade away. just be patient and the pain will be gone!
as for us, well be having a nice little brofest this weekend : ) well play xbox, drink beer and eat piiiizzaaa in huge masses... that's the best thing you can do!
Try to stay away from her for a good time. Contrary to your feelings, she is not indispensable to you. I lived through almost same thing as well. 1 month, you stop needing her in your life. 2 months, you start barely remembering her. 3 months, you stop wanting her in your life. Maybe some other chicks will get in your life and the process will be much faster.
It's not because you want her again. It's because you don't know what to do without her.
I had the same thing happen to me a few years ago. Together almost a year and a half. I get an internship across the country and we spend 119 days apart. I come back, feeling for her as strong as I ever did, only to have her act strange, hang out with her other friends all the time, lose all affection, and eventually break up on the grounds of not loving me anymore. It sucked since, like you, we'd been through a lot. The start of our relationship was literally during the worst period of my life and she had a lot to do with things getting better.
Stay by yourself, stay by others - it really depends on what you think would be most helpful. I personally did a lot better being around other people.
I wouldn't advise you to attempt to be friends with her until you are over her. There's no set time limit to when you feel better, but rest assured that time, indeed, helps a LOT. Whatever you do, keep experiencing life!
Is this a first love sort of situation? I remember the first girl I had genuine feelings for beyond getting her clothes off breaking up with me hurt like hell for 2 solid months. Breaking up with subsequent girls has been less painful and I got over it quicker. This too shall pass. It sucks right now but things get better.
i did what you say, im drunk as hell now. it did help atfirst but now it's even wrose im not blaming you tho i forgot how bad i can handle alcohol sometimes.
Alcohol never solved anything...except it cleaned cuts...and it kills randomass drunk teens every year...maybe if one of those drunk teens ran over George Bush...hmm.
You are going to feel like shit for a while bro, no need to cover it up and disguise it and sugar coat it. It will hurt, you just have weather out the storm - I know LOTS of help.
Take this experience to see who you really are and what you want from a potential significant other. What did you like about her, what did you hate about her - this will help you along your path towards finding what you want from a relationship.
I know its not the best help, but I wanted to post something anyways - to post something that I have at least a sliver of experience in...
Ah, I'm behind ya bud, everyone who has posted is behind ya in one way or another. Always stay optimistic man and don't be afraid to feel bad - haha.
Try not to stay too close to her now that you've broken up. Even if both of you have the best of intentions in trying to stay friends, you need time to get your head on straight, and staying in close contact can really mess with you.
Also, if you're drunk you should stick by some friends and have them make sure you don't do anything stupid, like call her up sobbing into the phone.
This sounds pretty pessimistic to you at the moment but I think in the long run it will help. When two people meet (like you and your ex did) and the feelings become mutual, it's all roses and daisies. But then the feelings stop after a while, it's like marriage (or so I've heard. Marriage is the tough love, where you can't just base everything off of feelings and have to actually try to make it work.) Basically, what I'm trying to say is that your ex wasn't ready for real love.
This sounds maybe too into the future but at least you know one girl that wasn't ready for you until the end. I'm sorry that she didn't have the respect to at least call and that it came very suddenly. Can you elaborate on maybe some recent events that happened that might have hinted at this break up, or was this really out of the blue?
text her "cool story brah", and end communications forever. don't let her see you hurt. act cool and move on nothing you can do about it and sulking on it will actually just make you feel worse.
hey, i was in the same boat as you were. I noticed that my girl seemed different and when I finally asked her about it, she told me she lost feelings for me (a few months back). And I really understand how it feels. It's HORRIBLE knowing that all that time, your girl lost feelings for you, and you never knew, and she never told you.
It wasn't because of another guy, people just sometimes lose interest in things. May have already seen this, but just surround yourself with people, and events. Don't keep to yourself. If you guys were really meant to be, then who knows, maybe in the future you two will be back. But until then, enjoy yourself.
On July 10 2010 10:19 shieldbreak wrote: Alcohol never solved anything...except it cleaned cuts...and it kills randomass drunk teens every year...maybe if one of those drunk teens ran over George Bush...hmm.
Alcohol doesn't solve anything, but kills bacterial long enough for the wound to heal ;p (cheesy i know lol)
At least she didn't break up with you over facebook. One of my friend's gf's did that. No text, no call, just a notification from facebook informing him that he was now "no longer in a relationship"
On July 10 2010 14:34 il0seonpurpose wrote: This sounds pretty pessimistic to you at the moment but I think in the long run it will help. When two people meet (like you and your ex did) and the feelings become mutual, it's all roses and daisies. But then the feelings stop after a while, it's like marriage (or so I've heard. Marriage is the tough love, where you can't just base everything off of feelings and have to actually try to make it work.) Basically, what I'm trying to say is that your ex wasn't ready for real love.
This sounds maybe too into the future but at least you know one girl that wasn't ready for you until the end. I'm sorry that she didn't have the respect to at least call and that it came very suddenly. Can you elaborate on maybe some recent events that happened that might have hinted at this break up, or was this really out of the blue?
It was really out of the blue. Maybe there was some small hints like her not talking to me as much after her graduation and stuff but she also had a really tight schedule back then so I didn't think too much about it.
And unfortunately it's not a joke, one of her friends called and said she felt sorry for me.
On July 10 2010 12:42 d3_crescentia wrote: Try not to stay too close to her now that you've broken up. Even if both of you have the best of intentions in trying to stay friends, you need time to get your head on straight, and staying in close contact can really mess with you.
Also, if you're drunk you should stick by some friends and have them make sure you don't do anything stupid, like call her up sobbing into the phone.
All of this is fantastic advice. I wish I could show this post to some friends of mine around their breakups...
There's an ad that says "Get your ex back with 86.3% success rate" but don't do that.
Don't vent unless you REALLY need to, because when you vent you have to do it more often later in life. And afaic it's probably another guy. She just wanted to text you so you couldn't contact her on vacation.
Who the hell breaks up over a text? Seriously. She should have the balls to do it in person.
I know, I know. You're probably thinking this sappy song will hurt more than do any good. But my point is, relationships are a bitch, and you're not the only one. Almost everyone who's been through the ups and downs of a relationship can relate to that song, but only a fraction of them have happy endings. There's no reason to feel ashamed and at a loss. You're still young, just look forward and try to use this relationship to help out future relationships in your life. Hopefully that song gave you some support by relating your situation to millions of others'. You're not alone, we've all been there but we gotta move on.
I'm in the same exact boat as you man. Only difference was I was with her a bit longer... At least my ex called me :/
Sorry, it sucks and yeah it hurts a fuck ton man. And don't go with the be friends bullshit either, cut that shit out at least for a few months. If she really wants to be friends or anything like that (not saying that she'll even want to but if she does) she'll understand that you need a few months to yourself with ABSOLUTELY NO CONTACT with her.
On July 09 2010 01:45 Necosarius wrote: If you don't want to read about some sad girlfriend-blog I guess you can stop read now.
I just got a text from my girlfriend. Or rather my ex-girlfriend. That's right, a text. She doesn't love me anymore. It isn't because she found another guy, it's just that I'm only a friend to her now. She said her feelings changed over a month ago. That means she didn't love me when we celebrated 16 months together. On the 11th of July it would have been 17 months.
I'm just so heartbroken right now. I feel like I'm going to vomit. I feel weak. I'm shivering like crazy. I feel... disgusting. Like it's something wrong with me.
I've liked girls and I've had girlfriends but this one was the first I've ever loved. I can't even type this... I'm constantly clearing the text only to start typing again. I can't put my thoughts in to words. I can't belive this, how quick things can change. We've been through so many bad things together, I mean really bad things. I thought we could survive everything. And now, during summer and we've had such a great time together, it's all over.
For almost 17 months I've had her by my side and now I'm alone. It's like a huge part of me is missing, like I will never be a whole person again. And I know there is a lot of girls out there and that these feelings probably will go over but...
The worst thing is that I've got nobody to talk to. I can't talk to her about it, she's with her family on vacation (and her family never liked me being with her). I can't talk to my friends about it, they are all working or on vacation and several other reasons. I don't want to be a burden.
The reason I put it up here is because Team Liquid in a way helped me get closer to this girl. I was going to write our story as my 1000th post on our 18 months anniversary. I guess I won't be doing that now..
This really hurts...
There isn't a good way to deal with this. The only way to do it is to drag yourself through, day by day, keeping yourself occupied, until you realize that you can go on with life and that there are better things (and better women) out there. It's hard as hell, but it's really the only way to do it.
On July 10 2010 12:42 d3_crescentia wrote: Try not to stay too close to her now that you've broken up. Even if both of you have the best of intentions in trying to stay friends, you need time to get your head on straight, and staying in close contact can really mess with you.
Also, if you're drunk you should stick by some friends and have them make sure you don't do anything stupid, like call her up sobbing into the phone.
All of this is fantastic advice. I wish I could show this post to some friends of mine around their breakups...
the problem is there's a huge difference between KNOWING what to do and then actually DOING it, but I guess that's what experience is for =/
Necosarius..don't stop being you. Don't let her stick a finger in your face and tell you you're no good. When times get hard .. don't start looking for things to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know.. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. Its a mean and nasty place and I don't care how high your APM is, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
get stronger, get faster, get bigger, get cuter..make her regret leaving you. don't be a pussy..be a man.
as said before, stay away from her.. start working on self improvement (physical, mental, scholastic, whatever you are weakest in), and if she tries to come back to you (she probably will eventually), tell her you need some time to think about it... and to ask you about it again in a couple weeks
also spend time with your friends - don't necessarily go chasing after random girls, just keep yourself busy
On July 17 2010 15:06 reza wrote: Necosarius..don't stop being you. Don't let her stick a finger in your face and tell you you're no good. When times get hard .. don't start looking for things to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know.. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. Its a mean and nasty place and I don't care how high your APM is, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!
get stronger, get faster, get bigger, get cuter..make her regret leaving you. don't be a pussy..be a man.
Wow that's inspirational, thanks!
On July 17 2010 16:41 InTheFade wrote: 16 months and a text? A motherfucking text? I hope that bitch catches the clap.
EPT
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Good luck man.
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