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On January 12 2010 16:56 Freaky[x] wrote:
Trust me when I say this, it's not cool to be cheated on, but if it happens, you have to first confront her and don't go doing it passively either. If I were you, this is what I would say.
First off I wouldn't even say hi to her, sorry but nobody deserves any respect after cheating like that
"*insert her name here* I heard you did this and that (*name actions here*) with this random person at that party you were at the other day, is this true?" give her 30 seconds to think of a lie...or say the truth w/e "actually I know it's true so don't give me excuses..." "I expect my shit back by let's say tomorrow... you just lost all my respect..."
that's it! by the way, don't give her her shit back until you get yours back. Also, you'll probably feel like shit since you seem to be a lover boy (I know how it is) so have a girl to relieve yourself with (yes a rebound) anyways gl man
This is the best advice on the thread. Do exactly this IMO.
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Don't be stupid, and don't listen stupid people.
Talk to her, and discuss it with her. Don't rage, don't feel humiliated. It just happens.
Everybody can make mistakes, believe me I know what I am talking about, and I am so thankful to my girlfriend that she forgave me. It just needs to be discussed.
And the "best advice" is not a good a advice. What will you earn in your life by saying someone you have loved for two years that she doesn't deserve any respect? Fucking hell people are so silly. Who on earth has never done a shit like that?
Forgiving is not a weakness. Shutting your mouth is, but forgiving is what people who have a brain and a heart can do. Raging and insulting your gf is just stupid dumbfuck reaction.
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Just like 95% of the demographic suggests, I agree - End it.
If you can't trust your partner, and if she breaks your trust and deliberately goes behind your back (via, stopping texting and inboxing), there isn't much foundation on your relationship. Just bullshit a break up or confront her directly about cheating on you, and move on.
On January 12 2010 17:21 Biff The Understudy wrote:
Don't be stupid, and don't listen stupid people.
Talk to her, and discuss it with her. Don't rage, don't feel humiliated. It just happens.
Everybody can make mistakes, believe me I know what I am talking about, and I am so thankful to my girlfriend that she forgave me. It just needs to be discussed.
I would agree with this - BUT - she clearly is showing A: pattern-like behavior of a lack of faith and B: second thoughts/doubts/etc about the relationship (the inboxes).
It's alright to be generally flirtatious, and mistakes happen in relationships. But pattern-like behavior with little sign of remedy isn't a good thing.
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end that shit yo
Although not always true, I go by the 'once a cheater always a cheater'.
and even if she didn't cheat, I would end it if you feel that uncomfortable about her "friendliness"
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On January 12 2010 17:21 Biff The Understudy wrote:
Talk to her, and discuss it with her.
Forgiving is not a weakness. Shutting your mouth is, but forgiving is what people who have a brain and a heart can do. Raging and insulting your gf is just stupid dumbfuck reaction.
This sort of thing (2nd offence) isn't open for discussion, show her some Jaedong face (passion/rage) and end it. You might get back together again but you have to make a stand and show it's not acceptable, ever. Raging and insulting your cheating gf is human and a natural reaction. Forgive later but at least vent or that shit will poison you.
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Not sure why so many people say he should let her go. If she was drunk (not an excuse but anyway) and made out with a guy, not even having sex, I would forgive her. Especially since she clearly is trying to tell you about it just that she doesnt know how to do it. I think that means she's regretful.
I think she should break up with you though for going through her personal messages. Way worse than making out with some random guy at a party if you ask me.
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Fuck an ultimatum. If this is the second offense you seriously need to get out now, and get out fast. The longer you stay with her the harder it will be.
On January 12 2010 16:10 seppolevne wrote:Show nested quote +On January 12 2010 15:53 LxRogue wrote:
Should i just end it? Give her an ultimatum? And target your relationship, her phone number and her facebook login info. Drop the bitch.
Agreed. Target everything. You don't need her anywhere in your life. Destroy all possible contact, IMO.
Drop the bitch.
Edit after reading more replies:
On January 12 2010 17:21 Biff The Understudy wrote:
Don't be stupid, and don't listen stupid people.
Talk to her, and discuss it with her. Don't rage, don't feel humiliated. It just happens.
Everybody can make mistakes, believe me I know what I am talking about, and I am so thankful to my girlfriend that she forgave me. It just needs to be discussed.
And the "best advice" is not a good a advice. What will you earn in your life by saying someone you have loved for two years that she doesn't deserve any respect? Fucking hell people are so silly. Who on earth has never done a shit like that?
Forgiving is not a weakness. Shutting your mouth is, but forgiving is what people who have a brain and a heart can do. Raging and insulting your gf is just stupid dumbfuck reaction.
Sorry if I offend you, but this really aggravates me. This viewpoint of cheating being mildly acceptable is part of why it seems so common.
"It just happens."
Did you read the op? This did not just happen. This is her SECOND offense! Cheating NEVER "just happens."
It's sounds to me like you know what it's like to be the one doing the cheating and can therefore sympathize with his girlfriend who obviously treats him like trash. I think you need a morality check, to be honest.
This kind of shit is not OK, should not be so easily forgiven, if forgiven at all.
"Forgiving is not a weakness. Shutting your mouth is, but forgiving is what people who have a brain and a heart can do. Raging and insulting your gf is just stupid dumbfuck reaction."
Having the capacity to forgive is important. So is having the ability to tell people who walk on you and use you to fuck off. Cheating is a stupid dumbfuck thing to do and not raging about it will only allow her to walk on you more.
Allow me to reiterate:
This is her second offense and she's been lying to you.
Drop the bitch.
If you really want to give her an ultimatum, demand a threesome with another girl, then leave her anyway.
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End it!! Such relationship is not worth dragging.
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Next time you bang her, spit on her after and then leave. No explanation, then don't ever talk to her again
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On January 12 2010 17:48 TimmyMac wrote:
Next time you bang her, spit on her after and then leave. No explanation, then don't ever talk to her again
man you're hardcore
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On January 12 2010 17:50 Grobyc wrote:Show nested quote +On January 12 2010 17:48 TimmyMac wrote:
Next time you bang her, spit on her after and then leave. No explanation, then don't ever talk to her again man you're hardcore
that or just cheat on her and make sure she finds out. like fuckin tape it and give it to her for her bday
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Forget about it. Making out with a few boys is hardly the end of the world.
If she was my girlfriend, I would ask her questions like how was it?
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On January 12 2010 18:05 GeneralStan wrote:
Forget about it. Making out with a few boys is hardly the end of the world.
If she was my girlfriend, I would ask her questions like how was it?
this.
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On January 12 2010 18:00 UGC4 wrote:Show nested quote +On January 12 2010 17:50 Grobyc wrote:On January 12 2010 17:48 TimmyMac wrote:
Next time you bang her, spit on her after and then leave. No explanation, then don't ever talk to her again man you're hardcore that or just cheat on her and make sure she finds out. like fuckin tape it and give it to her for her bday
Cheat on her with the guy she cheated on you with.
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this one is easy man. its college and she sounds like an outgoing flirt. this means shes gonna get drunk and prolly make out with random guys if you arent there. pretty standard stuff. girls do it, guys do it...its college!!! youre there to start off your adult life with a big bang!!!
you say youve been with this girl for two years. thats means its either serious or a comfort thing. either way i suggest you bring it up like a man. you owe that to her for all the sexy time she dished out. dont just dump the bitch and bounce w/o a reason. thats definitely the worst way to handle things. just tell her that you know she cheated because you saw her fucking facebook. no other girls are gonna give a shit that you checked out your g/f's facebook and found out she was cheating. girls do it WAY more then guys and its no biggie so dont get all worked up about them judging you over it. if you absolutely have to, just say you turned ur shit on and accidentally logged onto her shit. im sure you can think of something...its not that hard. if you need ideas, shoot me a pm and ill come up with a decent lie lol (ship 5$ on ftp k? rofl nah).
the biggest reason you need to bring it up right off the bat is because you are going to end up spilling those facts later in the argument anyway. shes gonna get frustrated and start yelling at you for dumping her for no reason and you are going to feel the need to justify your actions in the heat of the moment. so its not gonna stay a secret ANYWAY. its not like you can just dump a 2 year g/f in 5 mins. theres crying and pleading and/or anger and resentment...either way you are gonna crack and spew your true motivational factors.
if you are REALLY sore about it, talk to her about it and let her cry and apologize and shit and 'forgive her'. she will prolly try extra hard in the sack for a few weeks (start asking for road head n shit) and you can just start looking for action on the side. once youve found another ship to jump to, give her an innocent final boot and continue ballin in college. which btw, worst thing you can do is be in a serious relationship in college. i turned down SO much fucking action because i was in a long term gig that turned out to be busto. i regret not cheating like a mfer on that girl after all was said and done. but fuck, i was such a nice guy back then  .
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If you really think you love her:
+ Show Spoiler +END IT it will hurt but not as much as you find out ppl are laughing behind your back for duration of she cheating on you and you turning blind eye
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
Have some fucking self respect dude.
This girl has cheated on you. You have forgiven her.
You expressed that you are uncomfortable with her texting of her ex-boyfriend (DUH, WHAT THE FUCK?) so she goes around and changes the method of communicating to him so she can sleep at night WHILE still deceiving you.
You find out she lied about cheating on you again but the lie is a semi-admittance to a problem so yet again she can sleep at night.
She has absolutely no respect for you. I know this is odd coming from a person you've never met who has simply read your blog but pretend for a second that human beings all have fairly similar experiences OR CAN experience fairly similar things.. in fact some have experienced more and have wisdom to pass on: dump her asap.
And I don't mean "hey, yeah sorry, I think we should break it off." I'm talking a "Hey, I'm coming over. Yeah it'll only be a minute." *Click* then you stone cold stare her in the face with a half smile and tell her it is over. When she trembles and asks why you snort and say, who the fuck do you think I am?
Make it burn so that maybe she can learn that in the future being a two-timing lying bitch with 0 respect but all the spineless ability to drag someone through shit doesn't pay off.
If you can't do it give me her number and I will do it for you. I have no problem telling a girl like that off.
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On January 12 2010 18:56 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
Have some fucking self respect dude.
This girl has cheated on you. You have forgiven her.
You expressed that you are uncomfortable with her texting of her ex-boyfriend (DUH, WHAT THE FUCK?) so she goes around and changes the method of communicating to him so she can sleep at night WHILE still deceiving you.
You find out she lied about cheating on you again but the lie is a semi-admittance to a problem so yet again she can sleep at night.
She has absolutely no respect for you. I know this is odd coming from a person you've never met who has simply read your blog but pretend for a second that human beings all have fairly similar experiences OR CAN experience fairly similar things.. in fact some have experienced more and have wisdom to pass on: dump her asap.
And I don't mean "hey, yeah sorry, I think we should break it off." I'm talking a "Hey, I'm coming over. Yeah it'll only be a minute." *Click* then you stone cold stare her in the face with a half smile and tell her it is over. When she trembles and asks why you snort and say, who the fuck do you think I am?
Make it burn so that maybe she can learn that in the future being a two-timing lying bitch with 0 respect but all the spineless ability to drag someone through shit doesn't pay off.
If you can't do it give me her number and I will do it for you. I have no problem telling a girl like that off.
this is the most motivating post ive ever seen... and I agree full heartedly you gave her multiple chances and she is and has walked all over your kind heart, you have to show her that her actions have consequences whether she likes the outcome or not. No one should have to live worrying whether or not your partner will be faithful or not you shouldn't have to act as her keeper just to keep your mind at ease, and going behind your back on an issue you were respectful enough to bring up and tell her in a mannered way that it bugged you a bit is too underhanded to "Forgive and forget" that's like saying "oh shit sorry i fucked your brother but its ok I thought it was you" it just doesn't work out.
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On January 12 2010 15:53 LxRogue wrote:
So I guess I'm making a notorious TL girl problem thread...
I've got a girlfriend of 2+ years who i go to university with and it's been mostly pretty good. One thing about her - she extremely friendly. Borderline flirtatious with just about any male she meets, even if she doesn't do it consciously.
I stopped reading here. There are very few women who don't do just about everything on purpose, yours obviously isn't one of those. I hope next time you remember this.
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