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Zapdos_Smithh
Canada2620 Posts
On December 28 2009 17:32 unSpeake wrote: Don't be a bitch and ask her out earlier. Sounds like her text to "hang out" was just mindless banter which is common when you won't ask a girl out I didn't want to ask her out till she quit work, read my first post. | ||
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Xeris
Iran17695 Posts
Especially when you're getting up to your 20's and such, it's fine for girls to ask guys if they want to hang out. My coworker just asked me if I wanted to hang out yesterday... I wasn't sitting there thinking "omg she must be really into me cuz she asked me to hang out"... Unless you're still a teenager, or are really immature... the OP should almost never be confused to be something more than it was... | ||
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Cambium
United States16368 Posts
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Zapdos_Smithh
Canada2620 Posts
On December 28 2009 17:50 Xeris wrote: It seems like many of you don't have enough girl friends... it may sound shocking, but it is perfectly ok and normal to have platonic friendships with females. From what you described she just considers you a friend and wanted to hang out. I hang out with girls just as much as I hang out with guys, and for the most part there aren't any 'signals' or intimate attraction of any kind... we just hang out as friends. Especially when you're getting up to your 20's and such, it's fine for girls to ask guys if they want to hang out. My coworker just asked me if I wanted to hang out yesterday... I wasn't sitting there thinking "omg she must be really into me cuz she asked me to hang out"... Unless you're still a teenager, or are really immature... the OP should almost never be confused to be something more than it was... ya I would assume that from the op obv., but, well, it's harder to think of that in the moment. Too many indicators of that really threw things off. Personally I think it gets kinda stupid having the mind frame that she is always wanting to be friends. Then when a girl who actually is into you comes along you might keep that same mind frame and lose a chance at a relationship. I'm happy this happened because it saved me time having to bother with her and I can move onto the next girl. If she was interested, then it woulda worked out. To all the people who said I was unclear about my intentions, I really don't get ya. I made it perfectly clear at the end, I don't see how much more clear I could be unless I act like a social retard replying back to her first text: IS THIS A DATE YES OR NO? I think I made the right move clearing things up, coulda been a lot worse :S thanks for comments | ||
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Ganfei
Taiwan1439 Posts
On December 28 2009 17:50 Xeris wrote: It seems like many of you don't have enough girl friends... it may sound shocking, but it is perfectly ok and normal to have platonic friendships with females. From what you described she just considers you a friend and wanted to hang out. I hang out with girls just as much as I hang out with guys, and for the most part there aren't any 'signals' or intimate attraction of any kind... we just hang out as friends. Especially when you're getting up to your 20's and such, it's fine for girls to ask guys if they want to hang out. My coworker just asked me if I wanted to hang out yesterday... I wasn't sitting there thinking "omg she must be really into me cuz she asked me to hang out"... Unless you're still a teenager, or are really immature... the OP should almost never be confused to be something more than it was... pretty sure most ppl dont' fuckin go ice skating as friends | ||
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Xeris
Iran17695 Posts
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Jibba
United States22883 Posts
On December 28 2009 18:05 resonance wrote: ya I would assume that from the op obv., but, well, it's harder to think of that in the moment. Too many indicators of that really threw things off. It's always the case. You should've posted this before you asked her out, so we could give advice. ^^ | ||
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Zapdos_Smithh
Canada2620 Posts
On December 28 2009 18:16 Jibba wrote: It's always the case. You should've posted this before you asked her out, so we could give advice. ^^ lol i didn't ask her out she asked me out! i just made the arrangements. I wanted to ask her out when she left work but she beat me to it like I mentioned before. I wouldn't ask for advice anyway simply b/c giving relationship advice about a relationship that you don't know about is kinda useless. I'm surprised I'm not getting many responses about how I actually made a good decision cuz I basically avoided 1 or more confusing outings with this girl! edit: anyway ya regardless thanks for input | ||
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blabber
United States4448 Posts
On December 28 2009 18:20 resonance wrote: lol i didn't ask her out she asked me out! i just made the arrangements. I wanted to ask her out when she left work but she beat me to it like I mentioned before. I wouldn't ask for advice anyway simply b/c giving relationship advice about a relationship that you don't know about is kinda useless. I'm surprised I'm not getting many responses about how I actually made a good decision cuz I basically avoided 1 or more confusing outings with this girl! edit: anyway ya regardless thanks for input I don't see the part where she asked you out... I see a part where she asks you to hang out with her, but no part where she actually asks you out (ie. dating) | ||
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DeathSpank
United States1029 Posts
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Rekrul
Korea (South)17174 Posts
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FonzeXD
United States220 Posts
"Eat ALL THE GRASS, eat all the grass that you want, accidents happen in the dark." You should have just asked from the start "Are you single?" and it would have cleared the fog around you. Also, Ice skating?!?! WTF ON A FIRSTY? Nonono.. Check out this situation(oh god jersey show get out of my head): [When the girl does everything] {Note: This all happened in 8 months or so, 8 months ago; lots of humans on this planet} Okay, story time kids yaaaay!! ^_^ Well, this one time, the opposite happened to me(a guy!). I went to get tutored at my college and my tutor ends up getting all nervous around me and I'm just sitting there like "teach me math already" and then she asks if I want to go see a movie. I was like "uhh, I have horrible patience but SURE!!" I also said "can we go stoned?" and she looked at me a little funny but just agreed(Note: BARELY MET HER). Little did she know I was crazy like that and busted out a fat joint when I picked her up to go to the movies and we smoked for a while... she was laughing and thought the road would go up into the sky(I didn't know it was her first time smoking weed...she was tripping). We go to the movies and make out the instant it gets dark and it was really fun. The next day though, she obviously wants something with me but here's the thing: "A woman looking for love found sex; a man looking for sex found love." and that's how "friends with benefits" is born, when you least expect it. Another incidentt: I started talking with a friend's friend of mine, just randomly when I'd see her at college with my friend. She had a body and she was funnyyyyyyyy but she had a crazy ex boyfriend always on her tail. I randomly saw her once at college alone and started to small talk and it led to her saying if I wanted to go to the movies with her. I said "suree, why not?" We go to the theater and the first thing she does is LIFT THE SEPARATOR(the arm rest). What happened next was obvious, but, after a while she wants to hang out with me and, well, I got her to try weed. She was instantly hooked; I was shotgunning her, making out with her with the joint still lit, taking puffs. Then, that same girl asks if I want to go to a concert with her. Big mistake; she had the time of her life and she asked me out. I said yes. I then realized; these women who took the initiative were really desperate for penis and everyone was scared to give it(performance anxiety?). The moment I stepped in, it just changed everything for them. I just used them both to oblivion and smoked weed with them then dumped the second one. Now, SITUATION number TWO!![When the guy(me) does everything]: I was talking with a girl for 4 months and asked her out at the very end. She said "I already have a boyfriend but please don't stop being my friend!!" Fuck that. I moved on and talked to another girl for a week. I asked her out at the end, she said "It's been awesome but too fast, too fast" but it was obvious that we clicked because we kissed after I asked her out(passionate). I tell her "you can call me whenever you want; I'll answer" so she did. I answer, STONED as fuck and I start talking "HEY WSSUP GIRL WOOO!!!!" She hung up forever. I asked my cousin who his friend was this one time and he said "Oh my 2nd cousin" and I asked if I could tap that shit. He said go for it but that she needs a pic of me to see. I send my cousin a pic and my cousin sends the pic to her. She responds "you look like a girl." Great. I talked with a girl I met on myspace but from my class. I saw her at a party and thought she was cool. We talked and talked non-stop and suddenly, she wouldn't stop texting me. I was getting stoned with all my friends, laughing, running from cops and she's typing love letters to me through my phone. I just thought 'well, pussy is pussy' and I asked her out through text for lulz. She said yes. All my friends laugh and we joke but I end up going out with the person. She was desperate as hell for penis and wanted me in her BAD, so bad that she'd get me drunk just so we could "accidentally" fuck somehow(which didn't work because I fell off the bed and passed out on the floor, and, how can you fuck on accident?). I used her to oblivion and back and smoked weed with her then she figured it out and dumped me. Morale: Someone has to take the initiative. If the girl is just smiling and flirting with you, that's not her taking the initiative: that's called "being horny." Being horny is like a high though; it's there, then, it's not. If you're just joking around with a girl and smiling and flirting, that's not taking the initiative either; that's YOU being horny. My suggestion: be yourself, act as if the girl isn't even there, have fun no matter where you're at, and the most important one: Being SPONTANEOUS! If it's all planned out("okay, so, 9p.m. movies tonight? See ya there!"), it's boring. It's like a wall; if there is a 'wall', then there's always someone out there who will want to bring it down. Bring down their walls: suggest weed before the movie! Suggest a shot of alchi! Suggest... making-out during the movie! Just as long as you throw it out into the ocean Mr. Fishing man, you can reel SOMETHING in, no matter if it's good or not. If it's not good, back to the ocean with you! If it's good... eat it. Get a trophy. Reel in two next time. Get better bait. I hate talking in metaphors but I can't stop. XD | ||
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Rekrul
Korea (South)17174 Posts
So I go to work again and this was the last day she was working and we chat a bit. However, I notice she really isn't into the convos. She loses interest fast, one time she even interrupted me to talk to somebody else. I was thinking what the hell, that's a bit rude. She is talking to other people more than me, etc.. I'm not too worried though, I blame it on that awkwardness period. Don't blame her, she is kinda shy anyway (funny cuz she asked me out!). theres really not enough information to accurately judge what went wrong...but the way you acted in this situation could have totally swung it in or out of your favor...girls always do shit like that on purpose to see how you react...they don't even do it consciously alot of the time. if you came off needy at all in that situation they can feel it, even if you are physically not showing signs, if you feel it they probably feel it. but judging on your original conversation with her she did not ask you out. when a girl says 'we should hang out' she is not asking you at all. she is merely unlocking the door, its still up to u to have the balls to open it and step in. I browse her facebook that night and notice she is going to the movies with a co-worker friend of mine my age! I'm like...what the fuck? Wtf is going on. She is confusing me the hell out of me. once again, shes playing the same game with you with a bunch of other guys obviously, do not be so naive to think a girl won't keep her options open, obviously the other guy was doing something better than you So I call her and she doesn't pick up. I send a text saying I need to talk to you something is bothering me. THIS IS A HUUUUUGE NONO. When you call a girl one time and she doesn't pick up you should never try to text or call again. She will always see your missed call and any further attempt to communicate on your behalf will just come off as incredibly needy. In cases like this its almost always better to just wait and hope, your chances still seem low but saying something like that makes your chances even smaller. Ur phone conversation with her was the worst...thats just completely and entirely awkward as fuck. Long story short u can't come across as a guy expecting something...you just have to be cool with whatever happens and no matter what the girl says/does if you want her to actually want to end up wanting to be with you. | ||
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Zapdos_Smithh
Canada2620 Posts
On December 28 2009 20:44 Rekrul wrote: theres really not enough information to accurately judge what went wrong...but the way you acted in this situation could have totally swung it in or out of your favor...girls always do shit like that on purpose to see how you react...they don't even do it consciously alot of the time. if you came off needy at all in that situation they can feel it, even if you are physically not showing signs, if you feel it they probably feel it. but judging on your original conversation with her she did not ask you out. when a girl says 'we should hang out' she is not asking you at all. she is merely unlocking the door, its still up to u to have the balls to open it and step in. once again, shes playing the same game with you with a bunch of other guys obviously, do not be so naive to think a girl won't keep her options open, obviously the other guy was doing something better than you THIS IS A HUUUUUGE NONO. When you call a girl one time and she doesn't pick up you should never try to text or call again. She will always see your missed call and any further attempt to communicate on your behalf will just come off as incredibly needy. In cases like this its almost always better to just wait and hope, your chances still seem low but saying something like that makes your chances even smaller. Ur phone conversation with her was the worst...thats just completely and entirely awkward as fuck. Long story short u can't come across as a guy expecting something...you just have to be cool with whatever happens and no matter what the girl says/does if you want her to actually want to end up wanting to be with you. Oh ya apparently btw she is doing the friend thing with the other guy as well. In fact she is doing the friend thing with a bunch of people, she said she was asking a bunch of people from work to chill with her. Dunno if the other guy will have the same realization like me hah. Anyway she is a weird case, I am going to put this behind me and not stress it. Thanks for input regardless, good to know. | ||
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Frits
11782 Posts
no chance to begin with | ||
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Salv
Canada3083 Posts
Make this is a learning experience, which it seems like you have lol. | ||
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coltrane
Chile988 Posts
Try to relax, and be faster, you lost her in some point... You could always get what you want. Its on you. | ||
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KvkG
United States65 Posts
On December 28 2009 23:51 Frits wrote: dude i think you're forgetting she's a hardcore christian no chance to begin with lol since when did being hardcore christian mean no chance? I find hardcore christians are often easier than regular folks | ||
DivinO
United States4796 Posts
From an Asian girl OR a white girl. | ||
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d3_crescentia
United States4054 Posts
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