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Hello, my beloved TL-LoL Community. Over the years, I’ve come to realize, how much this forum means to me, and how I enjoy spending every single day, reading threads and posts by various users all over the world. To start this thread out, I need to clarify who I am, in order to get my intention out truthfully.
Who am I?
My name’s Kristoffer, I’m 22 years old, grew up in Grindsted and now living in Aarhus, Denmark. When I was in a younger state of life, I had a lot of troubles in school, I never really liked being with other kids, because they always saw me as different. This resulted in some real emotional issues, and my parents got divorced when I was 7, so that didn’t really help either. Luckily, teachers in school realized I was smart and misunderstood and that helped me, become the person I am today. I didn’t have that many friends in school and people always looked at me as “the bad guy”, because I loved to be provocative and that got me into unwanted fights which resulted in problems. When I turned 16 I started in upper secondary school, barely making it into the school in the first place, because I was lazy and sat in front of my computer every day playing World of Warcraft. I got some new friends though, and started drinking, which is rather common here in Denmark.
The downside to all this, were the consequences of some of my actions; at the age of 16 I also started experimenting with drugs. For those of you, who are inexperienced with drugs, I took something called Methylone, a research chemical back at that point (back in late 2007-early 2008 and it got illegal in Denmark march 2008) and it’s preparation of MDMA just 5x stronger and 99,9% pure (when you buy research chemicals, they’re always near purity). It opened up a whole new world to me, that I wasn’t ready for. Hell, I was only 16, I had no idea what I was doing and I just did it, because my friends did it. It resulted in all the emotions that I had been hiding for years coming out to reality and I wasn’t ready to show them. It certainly didn’t help me that my best friend at that time was jealous of me and although people told me this, I just ignored them, because for once I was happy, even if our friendship was based on drugs.
Fast-forward to fall 2008, I started seeing this girl. Some of my friends told me, she had been with this real psycho 1 town away and that I should stay away from her, but did I? No! And what did that result in? I got caught up in some nasty conflict between a guy from my school (who was dating my sister at that time) and the psycho kids (yes, they ARE psychos, they did cocaine like some people eat candy) and one night, when we were out partying, they confronted us. My friend ran the fuck away and I got beaten up by 6-7 guys I didn’t know. This resulted in trust-issues and a lot of emotional stress. My dad got furious, and wanted to get them into court, and while we did get into court only 2 were convicted and I’m still anxious about this. 1 guy got 50 days suspended prison, the other guy got 60 days suspended prison. So here I am, I’ve been through hell, I got a serious depression and were in a mental ward for 3 months, and those faggots aren’t even going to fucking jail?! I was pissed, I couldn’t control myself, I tried to kill myself, I slept with my best friend’s girlfriend just to relieve some of the anger and it wasn’t enough. I was selfish, I was young, I was a fucking dick to everyone and soon it became a part of my personality. I was told from the mental ward, to be open about my problems, but as some of you may know, mental illnesses are hard to talk about, because some people will think you’re victimizing yourself, other people will think you exaggerate and some people just won’t believe you, no matter what you tell them. And since I’m from a small town with 9.500 people, they start talking and rumors start spreading. It didn’t help, that I so desperately wanted to succeed in life, being forced to drop out of the best school class I’ve ever been in, and being forced to start over. Upper secondary school takes 3 years and grants you access to the university, and I tried taking 2nd year three fucking times. I have no idea, why I didn’t just move away and start over, but the drugs came back haunting me. My dad kicked me out, because I wouldn’t listen and I had to start living by myself and being responsible and an adult. This is a lot to put on a 19 year old guy, who is already weak-minded. I was diagnosed with the mental illness “Schizotypy” in late 2010, so I finally knew what was wrong with me, but I wouldn’t accept it. In real life, I tried to show everybody that I was normal, and tried to act normal but I would fail every single time, because I wasn’t normal, and my disease is made in a way, where stress makes you isolate yourself, you start making delusional ideas about what people think about you and that creates more stress which results in micro-psychosis that only lasts for a few days, but they are awfully alike what schizophrenics experience every day. And there is no cure, but learning to control it. Some people with my disease can get anti-psychosis medicine to help them, but it just makes me crazier.
Fast-forward again to February 2011 I was introduced to League of Legends, by a now very dear friend of mine and I quickly came to realize that I wasn’t the only one playing and fellow Teamliquid-user Equilash introduced me to this forum in May 2011. I know, you’ve all heard this before on reddit and other forums, but this fucking saved my life in the end. Since I was mentally ill, I had to be on public service, but I couldn’t work like normal people, I can’t get up in the morning and fulfill my duty, because it will make me stressful and then the train just keeps on going.
Sadly I was haunted by my past; I was still living in Grindsted, smoking weed now instead of doing drugs and it helped me. In late 2011 I met a person who also changed my life. I had a very nice group of friends who played League of Legends together, and some of us were considered a bit of “outcasts”, because we had all failed school even though we were smart guys. One of the guys I always teased, and in his class was a girl, who fell for me, because she could see beyond the façade and knew who I truly was. We started dating and she was really something else. She was normal, she never really tried weed or drugs and had a normal childhood with some-what normal parents and that was refreshing. She became an escape tool from my terrible everyday life, filled with judgments and prejudices and slowly but surely I became more stable. We moved to Aarhus, I tried to start in school again and so far I’m only 1 year away from university and being able to fulfill, what I consider, my duty as a citizen in Denmark, because I’ve been a real whining shithead and I need to atone.
Some of you, might think this is self-righteous bullshit, but for me, I just needed to get my story out in the open. And though this is Team Liquid and not the real world, it’s what I want. I love this community, hell the LP-EU and NA guys are some of the nicest people I’ve ever talked to, and over the years I’ve grown as a person, and started to like people and their ideas. I’m very empathic, but I haven’t been showing this and although I’m agnostic I feel like I need to repent for my sins. That’s who I am, you can think however you want about it, but in order for me to move on with my life, I have to get this out in the open and now I did.
With all this said, I can say that today I am a happy man. I’m studying HF (higher preparation exam) and I’m in the Danish mental-health system, but I also realized that I had to show this to the outer world, that I as a person, have changed and I’m finally ready to show it. No more trolling, no more random discussions about my problems, I’m over it, and this post should prove it.
So what is my intention?
I propose of a rule-change to this forum. Over the years, I’ve seen what egos do to people, both IRL but also in solo queue, normal games and ranked 5v5. I think it’s time, we stop all the bashing and instead take a more scientific approach to the game. League of legends is based on numbers and math and that’s how we should address the game. No more “FoTM or GTFO” talk!
The rule change I propose of, will make the LoL strategy forum more open. These days, everything we do is compare champions to the highest level of the game, but sometimes we forget that not everyone is playing at the highest level of the game. The change I propose is:
If you want to discuss unconventional picks, create a thread in the LoL-strategy, with substantial evidence (replays, stats and also include the skill-range, your experiment was conducted at)
With this change, people can discuss these picks, without always having to listen to “you’re bad, this doesn’t work in d1/challenger” in a formal objective manner. I do believe, that experimenting is good! Experiments are what creates new FoTM and Koreans have been doing this for ages now, so why shouldn’t we? As long as people are aware that this is low-tier champion discussion it’s fine. You don’t have to be hateful towards these people, they are just doing what THEY think is right and what’s wrong with that? League of Legends is more than 35-FoTM champions that are being played mindlessly in LCS, every champion has its own strengths and weaknesses!
Lol, I wrote way more than I intended, sorry about that! I really hope, that we, as a community can grow even more than we have right now, because each of us loves this game, I can tell that!
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Bearded Elder29904 Posts
How is smoking weed and doing drugs LoL related? Seems more like a blog material 
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Netherlands5630 Posts
Indeed blog material.
"I slept with my best friend’s girlfriend just to relieve some of the anger and it wasn’t enough."
I'm not sure who is the bigger asshole, you or his gf. This sentence alone made me lose all respect I had for you, regardless of your mental state at that time.
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Oh yeah, i probably left out some details. It was her, after she was done with my best friend, she tried to pull the same trick on me and another friend of mine.
Yeah, it could probably be blog material, but given the fact that I've only really been writing on this sub-forum, i wanted to share it here.
On February 19 2014 20:46 739 wrote:How is smoking weed and doing drugs LoL related? Seems more like a blog material
I dropped the drugs, because of LoL. In the end, you meet people on the internet, you talk to them on skype etc. and you realize that the world isn't such a shitty place after all. I guess, League helped me grow as a person. When i started out, i was bad like super bad, but being able to discuss things openly here on Teamliquid's Sub-forum and interacting with everyone, you start to realize things you haven't realized before. For me, it was to be open about myself and not hide behind my username and using that to boost my ego, both IRL and online.
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Was it really necessary to share all of that just to impart an idea you had for the forum?
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Bearded Elder29904 Posts
On February 19 2014 21:04 Peeano wrote:
Indeed blog material.
"I slept with my best friend’s girlfriend just to relieve some of the anger and it wasn’t enough."
I'm not sure who is the bigger asshole, you or his gf. This sentence alone made me lose all respect I had for you, regardless of your mental state at that time.
Why? He slept with his best friends girlfriend and actually he did him a favor, showing how slutty bitch his g/f is... Come on, she wouldn't slept with him if he was fair with her boyfriend.
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Netherlands5630 Posts
On February 19 2014 21:06 Sponkz wrote:Oh yeah, i probably left out some details. It was her, after she was done with my best friend, she tried to pull the same trick on me and another friend of mine. Yeah, it could probably be blog material, but given the fact that I've only really been writing on this sub-forum, i wanted to share it here. Show nested quote +On February 19 2014 20:46 739 wrote:How is smoking weed and doing drugs LoL related? Seems more like a blog material I dropped the drugs, because of LoL. In the end, you meet people on the internet, you talk to them on skype etc. and you realize that the world isn't such a shitty place after all. I guess, League helped me grow as a person. When i started out, i was bad like super bad, but being able to discuss things openly here on Teamliquid's Sub-forum and interacting with everyone, you start to realize things you haven't realized before. For me, it was to be open about myself and not hide being my username and using that to boost my ego, both IRL and online.
Quite vital details if you ask me.
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On February 19 2014 21:07 ReignSupreme. wrote:
Was it really necessary to share all of that just to impart an idea you had for the forum?
Yes. This is the first time, I've shared my story with "the outer world" (not including my gf and my parents+psychiatrist). Like i write, i just needed this to be said, so it can be forgotten and be part of my past, that defined me as a person.
On February 19 2014 21:08 Peeano wrote:Show nested quote +On February 19 2014 21:06 Sponkz wrote:Oh yeah, i probably left out some details. It was her, after she was done with my best friend, she tried to pull the same trick on me and another friend of mine. Yeah, it could probably be blog material, but given the fact that I've only really been writing on this sub-forum, i wanted to share it here. On February 19 2014 20:46 739 wrote:How is smoking weed and doing drugs LoL related? Seems more like a blog material I dropped the drugs, because of LoL. In the end, you meet people on the internet, you talk to them on skype etc. and you realize that the world isn't such a shitty place after all. I guess, League helped me grow as a person. When i started out, i was bad like super bad, but being able to discuss things openly here on Teamliquid's Sub-forum and interacting with everyone, you start to realize things you haven't realized before. For me, it was to be open about myself and not hide being my username and using that to boost my ego, both IRL and online. Quite vital details if you ask me.
I wasn't sure, how much i was gonna include, because i didn't want this to look like "oh look at me, i'm a victim, do as i say" but more like an explanation of my actions over the years.
Like since you all love TL;DR here's one:
I was an asshole, i didn't have much success in life and got manipulated like a doll. Now i do have success (although small), and i wanna change and bring out the real me.
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Czech Republic11293 Posts
I think the best place to discuss unconventional picks atm is T.R.O.L.L.S., although it doesn't have an EU equivalent. I agree that discussions about unconventional picks are rarely worthwhile, but I am not sure a change in policy in the best way to adress that.
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Im very impressed by your honesty. In my oppinion its very brave to tell everyone here about your sickness. Related to the trash talk in mobas I want to say this:
The trash talk results of feelings and emotions. At the end not everyone can handle them with proud and strenght. Emotions and trash talk are part of the game wich make it sometimes so sweet and sometimes so bad. Without love there is no anger and without any anger the would be no love. The correlation of both is what makes moba games a real experience.
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On February 19 2014 21:14 Scip wrote:
I think the best place to discuss unconventional picks atm is T.R.O.L.L.S., although it doesn't have an EU equivalent. I agree that discussions about unconventional picks are rarely worthwhile, but I am not sure a change in policy in the best way to adress that.
I just feel like, the focus have been rather "elitist" and i became one myself when i reached Diamond 1 in Season 3, but I'm still just a person like everyone else, and for some, the "elitist" attitude can sometimes be too much and other strive towards more civil discussions at their skill-range and not top-diamond/challenger level.
On February 19 2014 21:15 Datteln wrote:
Im very impressed by your honesty. In my oppinion its very brave to tell everyone here about your sickness. Related to the trash talk in I want to say this:
The trash talk results of feelings and emotions. At the end not everyone can handle them with proud and sthrenght. Emotions and trash talk are part of the game wich make it sometimes so sweet and sometimes so bad. Without love there is no anger and without any anger the would be no love. The correlation of both is what makes moba games a real experience.
Yeah, you're right. That's why i have decided to retire, because i LOVE the game, but i don't enjoy playing it anymore i guess. It just gets to you, when everytime you queue up, people expect way too much of you. I guess i just don't like my ego being that big.
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Aotearoa39261 Posts
This is fine posted here. LoL specific blog posts are more appropriate here than in the blog section with TL set up the way it is at the moment.
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´It just gets to you, when everytime you queue up, people expect way too much of you
People are different...
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On February 19 2014 21:25 Datteln wrote:Show nested quote +´It just gets to you, when everytime you queue up, people expect way too much of you People are different...
Yep, people are indeed different. That's why i strive towards mutual understanding, because when you truly understand one and another, you can start working on your dreams. It sounds kind of gay, i suppose, but that's just who I am and I'm proud of myself 
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wtf
i dont get the connection at all
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Does that mean you'll stop feeding?
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For all the ill-speaking Scip did of T.R.O.L.L.S., I think it's indeed what you're talking about. Probably not now, since it seems like after its pause the activity shrank and it's hard to get a lot of people involved and really meaningful/conclusive discussion going, but that's the concept: get an idea, do some outlining work on it, explain how it's relevant, then T.R.O.L.L.S. may try it out in games at mid-range level and report results and empiric findings. It generally won't be much because games can't be massed, and stacks skews the results compared to solo/duo play, but it's what their schedule affords and it's open to discussion, not gospel conclusions.
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On February 19 2014 22:25 Dandel Ion wrote:
Does that mean you'll stop feeding?
I won't play the game anymore. Hell, i was one of the "founders" of the TL EU IH's yet i was always trolling and feeding and not giving a shit and you deserve better.
EDIT: You have to remember, i myself have a lot of history in the game and while some people just don't care when people flame, i do. It gets to me, because I'm serious about my life and who I am, so imma drop the online games.
On February 19 2014 21:55 Paljas wrote:
wtf
i dont get the connection at all
I guess you haven't seen the "trolling", i understand that.
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Baa?21245 Posts
I think it’s time, we stop all the bashing and instead take a more scientific approach to the game. League of legends is based on numbers and math and that’s how we should address the game.
God no.
No more “FoTM or GTFO” talk!
Misleading connection. There's nothing linking this point with the former.
The rule change I propose of, will make the LoL strategy forum more open. These days, everything we do is compare champions to the highest level of the game,
As should be. We don't do that enough if anything.
but sometimes we forget that not everyone is playing at the highest level of the game.
We also don't talk about Starcraft strategy based on C- iCCup skill level.
The change I propose is:
If you want to discuss unconventional picks, create a thread in the LoL-strategy, with substantial evidence (replays, stats and also include the skill-range, your experiment was conducted at)
This is fine. It's also completely unrelated to all the other preposterous suggestions/points you made before this point.
With this change, people can discuss these picks, without always having to listen to “you’re bad, this doesn’t work in d1/challenger” in a formal objective manner.
What is "formal objective manner?" The shit that Ketara spews? Cause that shit is neither formal nor objective. There are many posters who make good, "formal," and "objective" posts. In fact, "formal objective" posts are probably the opposite of what you actually want because those are precisely the posts which reject the stupid low-level shit that people bring up.
Professional play is literally the only thing that matters. Making strategies that don't work as you climb higher is hurting your own ability to play/improve at the game.
I do believe, that experimenting is good!
Sure. But you're still creating false dichotomies and equivalencies with your earlier points.
Experiments are what creates new FoTM and Koreans have been doing this for ages now, so why shouldn’t we?
Ironically, Korea is one of the most conservative regions in their picks. Pick a different region for your argument.
As long as people are aware that this is low-tier champion discussion it’s fine.
Slippery slope.
You don’t have to be hateful towards these people, they are just doing what THEY think is right and what’s wrong with that?
Lol.
League of Legends is more than 35-FoTM champions that are being played mindlessly in LCS, every champion has its own strengths and weaknesses!
Yes, but again, completely irrelevant to the suggestion you're putting forth.
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Well I'm very glad you're doing so much better. These kinds of posts tend to catch people off guard but I'm just happy you're doing ok.
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EPT
